TOTALLY GEEKED!

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Dear Abby: Dad Treats Me like a Little Girl

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

My FIL does this to me. When we are visiting there or he is here - he always tells everyone when to go to bed. Drives me nuts. But, he's an old man, and that's his way and it's not a big deal.

ed11563 · Guru

It's part of being a parent, and it doesn't go away when we get older and the kids are all grown up.

I fight it. I work on not doing this.

Still, when one or both of them have been here, I walk him to the car for a last "goodbye" hug, tell him I love him and I'm glad he's my son ...

then watch from the front door until he drives away. Then DS1 would call me from the car and ask for a traffic check. (Not like he couldn't have spent a minute on the computer himself before he left... )

There was a period of time when I would tell them "I know you don't need me to tell you, but I'm going to say it anyway. Just accept it."

One of the hardest things to control is the urge to remind them to use the bathroom before they leave. must.not.do.that!

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Seriously? He tells her not to touch the stove top when its hot? that is a bit over the top. But yeah, she should develop selective hearing, or perhaps laugh when he says things like that and say "oh Dad, you can stop worrying now, I'm all grown up"

ed11563 · Guru

I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
Seriously? He tells her not to touch the stove top when its hot? that is a bit over the top. But yeah, she should develop selective hearing, or perhaps laugh when he says things like that and say "oh Dad, you can stop worrying now, I'm all grown up"

Yes, this, and hug him a lot.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
My FIL does this to me. When we are visiting there or he is here - he always tells everyone when to go to bed. Drives me nuts. But, he's an old man, and that's his way and it's not a big deal.

I am actually surprised by your comment, LL,! lol I thought for sure you were going to say to Read him the Riot Act and then stop visiting if he doesn't cease and desist. You pleasantly surprise me at times. biggrin

huskerbb · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
My FIL does this to me. When we are visiting there or he is here - he always tells everyone when to go to bed. Drives me nuts. But, he's an old man, and that's his way and it's not a big deal.

See, now that would annoy me. I would probably simply ignore it, at first, if he persisted, I'd either tell him to STFU, or I'd take myself and whoever came with me and leave.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

huskerbb wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
My FIL does this to me. When we are visiting there or he is here - he always tells everyone when to go to bed. Drives me nuts. But, he's an old man, and that's his way and it's not a big deal.
See, now that would annoy me. I would probably simply ignore it, at first, if he persisted, I'd either tell him to STFU, or I'd take myself and whoever came with me and leave.

We know. smile

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

huskerbb wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
My FIL does this to me. When we are visiting there or he is here - he always tells everyone when to go to bed. Drives me nuts. But, he's an old man, and that's his way and it's not a big deal.
See, now that would annoy me. I would probably simply ignore it, at first, if he persisted, I'd either tell him to STFU, or I'd take myself and whoever came with me and leave.

I do ignore it.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I tell people if the stove might be hot. Not cause I see them as kids but because I know it hurts to burn your hand and that setting something on or near a hot stove eye can make a mess.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

As for going to be, my mom will tell us we need to go to bed.

But I tell the kids when I want them to turn everything off and I go to bed when I am ready.

They are all old enough to deal with ramifications of not getting enough sleep.

FNW · Guru

I think this LW might need to grow up if she lets this bother her.

My mother always tells me to "be careful." No matter what I'm doing. Be careful. My father still tells me how to do things. He is even telling me how the pool company should be putting in the pool. He was a banker by trade, but is very handy. I just listen, nod, and do whatever the heck I want. I can't change them, and I'm not sure I'd want to. Why? Because this is their way of showing they love me. Kind of like when he used to check the oil on my car.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I get the "I'm not stupid" from my kids sometimes.

Like yesterday, one had loaned a friend some money. I was trying to say that isn't always a good idea. That it can ruin friendships.

I got the "I'm not stupid".

And I tell Caitlyn to be careful when she is leaving, she tells me no and that she is going to drive blindfolded or something silly like that.

So I remind her to buckle up if she does.

Dad tells me to check my tires pretty often.

I don't a parent ever stops caring for their child.

Mary Zombie · Guru

My father was 20 times worse than the father in the OP. I did try and ignore or laugh it off. But when he got obsessive and harassing I had to start hanging up...
Leaving....and not talking to home about anything to make him back off.
It started getting to the point it was insulting as hell as he thought everyone else was stupid. Even those he loved.
I couldn't take anymore.
Sadly he had little use for me once he realized I would not let him think I was stupid anymore.
Hopefully the OP father isn't as pathological :)

burns07 · Guru

<sigh> my father was a physician / surgeon--every time we'd go and visit them ( or they'd come and see us ) it was " you look good but how are you feeling ? how's your bp, your cholesterol ? "--when my lady became a nurse, she was able to deflect a lot of the health questions as she KNEW how I was doing physically and my father trusted her--but he continued " the health quiz " for the rest of his life

Lexxy · My dog name is Sasha, too!

Mary Zombie wrote:
My father was 20 times worse than the father in the OP. I did try and ignore or laugh it off. But when he got obsessive and harassing I had to start hanging up...
Leaving....and not talking to home about anything to make him back off.
It started getting to the point it was insulting as hell as he thought everyone else was stupid. Even those he loved.
I couldn't take anymore.
Sadly he had little use for me once he realized I would not let him think I was stupid anymore.
Hopefully the OP father isn't as pathological :)

Was he suffering from dementia when he became insulting? Now that my grandmother has dementia she is just horrible.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Lexxy wrote:
Mary Zombie wrote:
My father was 20 times worse than the father in the OP. I did try and ignore or laugh it off. But when he got obsessive and harassing I had to start hanging up...
Leaving....and not talking to home about anything to make him back off.
It started getting to the point it was insulting as hell as he thought everyone else was stupid. Even those he loved.
I couldn't take anymore.
Sadly he had little use for me once he realized I would not let him think I was stupid anymore.
Hopefully the OP father isn't as pathological :)
Was he suffering from dementia when he became insulting? Now that my grandmother has dementia she is just horrible.

That's a good point. And, especially if it is a change from normal.