DEAR ABBY: My husband and I were going along in life, doing it our way, until we decided we wanted to return to the church, so we stopped drinking and smoking pot. We hit a rough patch in that journey and divorced, but we didn't stop going to church. It's crazy, I know. After we divorced, I knew I messed up and deep down I knew I loved him.
So, now that we have remarried, it seems like he's taking the role of Christian husband back to biblical times. This means he is the head of the house (which I get), but to the point where I am almost like a fixture.
I would say I'm here for my looks, but I am overweight. I would say it's for the sex, but it isn't happening morning, noon and night, if you know what I mean. I would say it is the money, but now, after his last raise, he makes more than I do.
He cooks most of the time because he gets home before me. The house is always clean, and we share the household bills and expenses. So, I'm kinda lost and confused. Do I have a purpose here? Or am I only here to help pay the bills? -- STARTING TO WONDER
DEAR STARTING TO WONDER: Only your husband can answer that question. However, part of a husband's duties to his wife is to make her feel "honored and cherished," and if that isn't happening, your remarriage is in trouble. Marriage counseling (possibly within the church) might help you to reconnect with each other, and I strongly recommend it. Unless you find out why you're unhappy and fix it, this marriage will not last.
Maybe he is trying to make her feel honored by cooking for her and keeping the house clean. She should talk to him about her concerns and if that doesn't seem to help seek counseling.
Let's see. He works, makes good money, he cooks and cleans and the problem is what? If you don't want to be a fixture, then stop acting like one. Try getting up and cooking and engaging in life. Sheesh.
Let's see. He works, makes good money, he cooks and cleans and the problem is what? If you don't want to be a fixture, then stop acting like one. Try getting up and cooking and engaging in life. Sheesh.
Seriously...what the hell does she want?
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America guarantees equal opportunity, not equal outcome...
It sounds like the only thing missing here is her active involvement in their relationship.
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LOL--now that's just plain funny--accurate but funny all the same
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" the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. "--edmund burke
Question for the Letter Writer: And you "feeling like a fixture" in that situation is his fault because?
Cook dinner once in a while. Initiate the sex once in a while. Surprise him with a "date night out" once in a while. It's not that hard to not be "like a fixture" if you don't want to be.