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Post Info TOPIC: Finally, a government agency with some common sense regarding children and parenting.


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Finally, a government agency with some common sense regarding children and parenting.
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After 'free-range' case, Maryland clarifies solo-kids policy

 

SILVER SPRING, Md. (AP) — After outcry over one family's "free-range" parenting case, Maryland officials on Friday clarified their policy on children walking or playing alone outdoors, saying the state shouldn't investigate unless kids are harmed or face substantial risk of harm.

The updated policy directive about the involvement of Child Protective Services, first reported by The Washington Post, is part of a public statement issued Friday. The clarification comes after the state agency ruled out neglect in a case against Danielle and Alexander Meitiv, who allowed their 10-year-old son and 6-year-old daughter to walk home from a park in Silver Spring, a Washington suburb, in December. Police stopped the children and drove them home after someone reported seeing them.

At the time, CPS — which is part of the Department of Human Resources — pointed to Maryland law defining child neglect as failure to properly care for and supervise a child. The law covers dwellings, enclosures and vehicles.

The Meitivs have said they have gradually allowed the children more freedom to walk on their own in familiar areas. The couple are "free-range" parenting advocates who encourage independence and exploration, and they remain under investigation after their children walked home from another park in April. The children were held by police and CPS for more than five hours that day.

State officials didn't comment on the Meitiv family's experience, citing confidentiality, but they now say they are not interested in trumping parents' individual choices.

"DHR is mindful that every family applies its members own personal upbringing, life experiences and expectations to parenting, and it is not the Department's role to pick and choose among child-rearing philosophies and practices," the department said in its news release.

In the updated document, the agency lists facts considered in such cases including any harm, any protective measures parents put in place, the accessibility of parents, the child's age and maturity, how long a child is unattended, the environment, and the number of calls to CPS.



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And note: they didn't even address the question of age.

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It's only one state, but hopefully other states will follow suit if this issue arises in their state.

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Wait a minute..... there's a catch.... number of calls to CPS. Idiots will abuse that part.

Overall, a good move on Maryland's part.

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just Czech wrote:

Wait a minute..... there's a catch.... number of calls to CPS. Idiots will abuse that part.

Overall, a good move on Maryland's part.


But I think making this public will likely cut down on that number.   



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Something needs to done across the board. Laws help but people themselves have to stop the pearl clutching.

Caitlyn says there are 2 14 year Olds in the summer care program where she works.

What the heck?

Unless the kid is disabled some how, or living in the middle of the worse neighborhood ever, a 14 yr old should be able to stay home during the work day.

Heck, why are they not taking care of the house?

It's just crazy how over protective we have become as a whole.

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I'm wondering how Maryland is on the whole? Are there really bad neighborhoods? Are there low income neighborhoods? My SS started staying at home all day on his own when he was nine but she was told by CPS that she had to either get him a cell phone or a land line. They live in a bad area and he had no way to call anyone if there was an emergency.

I'm all for kids staying on their own but when we were little and we stayed on our own we always had a way to get in touch with someone if there was an emergency. We always had a land line and we always knew the neighbors. We had a list of people we could call if something went wrong. This is the only thing that bothers me about kids staying home alone now.

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lilyofcourse wrote:

Something needs to done across the board. Laws help but people themselves have to stop the pearl clutching.

Caitlyn says there are 2 14 year Olds in the summer care program where she works.

What the heck?

Unless the kid is disabled some how, or living in the middle of the worse neighborhood ever, a 14 yr old should be able to stay home during the work day.

Heck, why are they not taking care of the house?

It's just crazy how over protective we have become as a whole.


They are probably there as punishment.  I threatened to do that to my son.  He straightened up.



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It's stupid crazy.

She said one of them was hitting on her yesterday. She said she thinks she hurt his feelings when she called him a room baby along with the other kids in her class.

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We stayed home alone for 2 hours in the morning and we would be home after school til mom got back from the bus route.

 

That was alone in the morning if we stayed out of school.

 

When I was in private school 2nd grade to 8th grade, I was home alone, getting myself ready, till mom got back to take me to school.

 

In the summer, after mom went back to work full time, we were home til around 5.

 

I think my brother and I were around 15 and 13 the first time we were home alone over night. 

 

We, our generation, was expected to grow up. Not stay babies forever.

 



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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

I'm wondering how Maryland is on the whole? Are there really bad neighborhoods? Are there low income neighborhoods? My SS started staying at home all day on his own when he was nine but she was told by CPS that she had to either get him a cell phone or a land line. They live in a bad area and he had no way to call anyone if there was an emergency.

I'm all for kids staying on their own but when we were little and we stayed on our own we always had a way to get in touch with someone if there was an emergency. We always had a land line and we always knew the neighbors. We had a list of people we could call if something went wrong. This is the only thing that bothers me about kids staying home alone now.


I think a phone should be available.  Heck, most kids have their own cell phones.   



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We had to buy my SS a phone because his mom would not keep a phone turned on. They don't have a land line and she would buy him disposable phones but when the minutes ran out she'd never refill them. We did not like him being home alone with no phone. Also, sometimes he is left home alone with his SF who has abused him. I hate the fact that we have given a kid so young a phone but for him it was a necessity.

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I can't tell my position on this, it may make me a neglectful parent. I live in a good neighborhood where everyone watches out for each other's kids, a throw back to the 60's. We trust our neighbors and our kids.

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We have a land line. Probably always will. Cell phones don't always work.

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We'll keep ours as well. Been more than once the cells won't call each other, but a landline to cell would work.

But that brings up an interesting question. Do you know people's phone numbers? I admit that I don't know each of our numbers. If I had to call without my cell, I wouldn't be able to.

I need to update our list.


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But IKWTDS that's what I'm talking about. I think you have to look at each situation differently. Your DD and my SS are the same age. But I feel less safe knowing he's alone at his house than here. We've started leaving him for small amounts of time here. He does know two of the neighbors. AND, we have a land line. And three dogs willing to eat someone. And we live in a nice neighborhood in a decent house. His mom lives in a dump, in a bad neighborhood, with no phone. Two different situations. I think all those things come into play when you decide whether or not to leave kids alone.

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lilyofcourse wrote:

We'll keep ours as well. Been more than once the cells won't call each other, but a landline to cell would work.

But that brings up an interesting question. Do you know people's phone numbers? I admit that I don't know each of our numbers. If I had to call without my cell, I wouldn't be able to.

I need to update our list.


 We wrote out a list of about ten numbers and posted it on the fridge for SS.  Yes, overkill I know but they are all there.



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lilyofcourse wrote:

We stayed home alone for 2 hours in the morning and we would be home after school til mom got back from the bus route.

 

That was alone in the morning if we stayed out of school.

 

When I was in private school 2nd grade to 8th grade, I was home alone, getting myself ready, till mom got back to take me to school.

 

In the summer, after mom went back to work full time, we were home til around 5.

 

I think my brother and I were around 15 and 13 the first time we were home alone over night. 

 

We, our generation, was expected to grow up. Not stay babies forever.

 


 Where they live, the parent might not feel safe leaving them home alone.



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Not overkill.

In a real emergency, the brain doesn't always remember things.

Even adults with numbers they use daily.

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You also have to know your child. Some kids are more mature than others. Some are easily scared. Some aren't. Some panic over little things and others show incredible maturity. Not every child is at the same age emotionally that they are physically.

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Actually I watched this show the other day. I don't remember the name of it. This white guy in jeans, a t-shirt, and a sweat shirt went into a park. He asked the parents permission before he did it. He asked them if he could approach their child and ask them if their child would go off with him. He had a little white poodle. Every single parent assured him that they had talked to their kids and that their kids would not go off with him. Every single child went off with him. One hundred percent of them. The parents were horrified. It was interesting.

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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

Actually I watched this show the other day. I don't remember the name of it. This white guy in jeans, a t-shirt, and a sweat shirt went into a park. He asked the parents permission before he did it. He asked them if he could approach their child and ask them if their child would go off with him. He had a little white poodle. Every single parent assured him that they had talked to their kids and that their kids would not go off with him. Every single child went off with him. One hundred percent of them. The parents were horrified. It was interesting.


 I have seen a similar experiment on TV. It scared the crap out of me. 

The summer after 4th grade, I took DD to the YMCA at noon twice a week during the summer. I gave her a small cooler with drinks and food, $10 for the snack cart and video games, a cell phone and her sunscreen and towel. She knew each lifeguard by name, and knew almost every family there. At each pool check she texted me. I picked her up at 5pm happy as could be. Some might think I am a terrible mother for just leaving her there. But she knew her boundaries, she knew what she was not allowed to do, and she knew who to ask for help. On the days I would go with her and stay, the lifeguards would tell me she was just as well behaved when I was there as when I wasn't. They couldn't tell the difference. The only time she ever called me with a problem was when she wanted to use her money to buy ice cream and was worried it was too close to dinner time. 



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Mellow Momma wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

Actually I watched this show the other day. I don't remember the name of it. This white guy in jeans, a t-shirt, and a sweat shirt went into a park. He asked the parents permission before he did it. He asked them if he could approach their child and ask them if their child would go off with him. He had a little white poodle. Every single parent assured him that they had talked to their kids and that their kids would not go off with him. Every single child went off with him. One hundred percent of them. The parents were horrified. It was interesting.


 I have seen a similar experiment on TV. It scared the crap out of me. 

The summer after 4th grade, I took DD to the YMCA at noon twice a week during the summer. I gave her a small cooler with drinks and food, $10 for the snack cart and video games, a cell phone and her sunscreen and towel. She knew each lifeguard by name, and knew almost every family there. At each pool check she texted me. I picked her up at 5pm happy as could be. Some might think I am a terrible mother for just leaving her there. But she knew her boundaries, she knew what she was not allowed to do, and she knew who to ask for help. On the days I would go with her and stay, the lifeguards would tell me she was just as well behaved when I was there as when I wasn't. They couldn't tell the difference. The only time she ever called me with a problem was when she wanted to use her money to buy ice cream and was worried it was too close to dinner time. 


 That's funny.



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And that's how I knew I wasn't making a mistake! Lol She has always been strong and sassy. I never worried about her for a second. If she had caused a ruckus at the Y I never would have let her go back alone again. One of her teachers was a lifeguard and I told her if DD acted out, just call me and I would come get her. She never needed to.

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Honestly? I've seen high schoolers who need adult supervision. It's sad.

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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

Honestly? I've seen high schoolers who need adult supervision. It's sad.


 Oh heck yeah! The problem is group think. Would I be comfortable with 5 fourth graders? Hell no. And high schoolers are worse because often they arent worried about consequences - that's how the adoescent brain is wired. 



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Mellow Momma wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

Honestly? I've seen high schoolers who need adult supervision. It's sad.


 Oh heck yeah! The problem is group think. Would I be comfortable with 5 fourth graders? Hell no. And high schoolers are worse because often they arent worried about consequences - that's how the adoescent brain is wired. 


 Well, your pool example made me think of a teenager at our local pool and what an ass he was.



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Of course, his mommy ran the pool... Need I say more?

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I think it depends.

I know groups of kids who can be anywhere and be just fine.

At 12, my parents would take us to Six Flags and we wouldn't see them until time to leave that night.

I would have let my kids do that at 12 with their friends too.

My nephew and his friends can't be trusted in the backyard.

In 4th grade, my friends and I were allowed to play all over the school grounds. I let mine go across to the park.

But I know parents who wouldn't let their kids go to the mailbox.

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I can tell you one thing. If I had a 16 year old that acted like this kid did in the pool he wouldn't have been allowed to go back. Not that summer at least. And 16 is plenty old enough to know right from wrong. Unless of course you have chitty parents.

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Although after meeting his mom it was quickly evident where the problem was.

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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

Although after meeting his mom it was quickly evident where the problem was.


 Exactly!! I think it's almost 75% the parents' fault typically. Some kids will just be idiots no matter what. But when a kid acts out like that you can almost guarantee his mom thinks he is a very special snowflake. 



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I remember a group of guys that would get together and they always ended up doing the stupidest things. One or two would be fine. No problems. But when the 5 of them got together, well, just go ahead and get ready to call 911.

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Mellow Momma wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

Although after meeting his mom it was quickly evident where the problem was.


 Exactly!! I think it's almost 75% the parents' fault typically. Some kids will just be idiots no matter what. But when a kid acts out like that you can almost guarantee his mom thinks he is a very special snowflake. 


 Yep.  Pool was really crowded that day.  This jack ass was doing cannon balls off the diving board and the side of the pool.  Making huge waves.  Now the rules state cannon balls are not acceptable and that older kids can't get on the slides.  I couldn't swim laps and all the little kids were bouncing around.  He would slide down the little kiddie slides.  He would jump off the sides and the diving board right next to your head.  I mean, really dangerous behavior as well as annoying behavior.  We went to talk to the lady who ran the pool and she said that was her son and he could do whatever he wanted.  We just stopped going.  She didn't own the pool.  Just managed it.  It was owned by the city.



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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

You also have to know your child. Some kids are more mature than others. Some are easily scared. Some aren't. Some panic over little things and others show incredible maturity. Not every child is at the same age emotionally that they are physically.


Thank you. I would never leave my child alone overnight at 15.

flan



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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

You also have to know your child. Some kids are more mature than others. Some are easily scared. Some aren't. Some panic over little things and others show incredible maturity. Not every child is at the same age emotionally that they are physically.


 These are HUGE factors into whether a child can be alone or not.  DD is quite mature and responsible.



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flan327 wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

You also have to know your child. Some kids are more mature than others. Some are easily scared. Some aren't. Some panic over little things and others show incredible maturity. Not every child is at the same age emotionally that they are physically.


Thank you. I would never leave my child alone overnight at 15.

flan


 I would. Not DD23, she would have had a party and I know it. We have left DD17 alone a few times overnight the past 2 years. No problems.  



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Mellow Momma wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

You also have to know your child. Some kids are more mature than others. Some are easily scared. Some aren't. Some panic over little things and others show incredible maturity. Not every child is at the same age emotionally that they are physically.


Thank you. I would never leave my child alone overnight at 15.

flan


 I would. Not DD23, she would have had a party and I know it. We have left DD17 alone a few times overnight the past 2 years. No problems.  


But two years sometimes makes a difference.

flan 



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I just can't help but laugh.



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Mellow Momma wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

You also have to know your child. Some kids are more mature than others. Some are easily scared. Some aren't. Some panic over little things and others show incredible maturity. Not every child is at the same age emotionally that they are physically.


Thank you. I would never leave my child alone overnight at 15.

flan


 I would. Not DD23, she would have had a party and I know it. We have left DD17 alone a few times overnight the past 2 years. No problems.  


 And I bet your daughter had people she could call if she needed anything.

We did. Aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents. All just a phone call away. And one of those cousins was a 15 minute walk through the woods or 5 if we went down to the road.

 



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flan327 wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

You also have to know your child. Some kids are more mature than others. Some are easily scared. Some aren't. Some panic over little things and others show incredible maturity. Not every child is at the same age emotionally that they are physically.


Thank you. I would never leave my child alone overnight at 15.

flan


 That's ridiculous. helicopter parenting at its finest.  



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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

I'm wondering how Maryland is on the whole? Are there really bad neighborhoods? Are there low income neighborhoods? My SS started staying at home all day on his own when he was nine but she was told by CPS that she had to either get him a cell phone or a land line. They live in a bad area and he had no way to call anyone if there was an emergency.

I'm all for kids staying on their own but when we were little and we stayed on our own we always had a way to get in touch with someone if there was an emergency. We always had a land line and we always knew the neighbors. We had a list of people we could call if something went wrong. This is the only thing that bothers me about kids staying home alone now.


 Silver Spring is in Montgomery county & it is middle to upper middle class neighborhoods.  The bad neighborhoods in MD are in Prince Georges county & you hear about the shootings on the news every night.



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