TOTALLY GEEKED!

huskerbb · Guru

Part of the problem is....

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I know my neighbors enough to know when something is wrong. When kids get off buses, cars that are supposed to be there, when they generally come and go to work.

One I have known a longer. Their son and I ran in the same group. It was cool when they bought the house next door.

But I agree, most don't know their neighbors enough to say one way or another if someone should be called.

huskerbb · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
I know my neighbors enough to know when something is wrong. When kids get off buses, cars that are supposed to be there, when they generally come and go to work.

One I have known a longer. Their son and I ran in the same group. It was cool when they bought the house next door.

But I agree, most don't know their neighbors enough to say one way or another if someone should be called.

I'm not talking about anyone, specifically--but about our society in general. We don't really bother to get to know our neighbors--and yet feel smug in our self-righteousness enough to call the cops for every little thing that we think doesn't fit with our idea of how things should be.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

I agree with this. When we were young, if we got home before mom and dad unexpectedly, we had that neighbor we could call on. You knew you could go there, explain the situation, and they would take you in, let you use the phone, and you could hang out there until someone got home. It went without saying that their kid could do the same if needed. That isn't as common today.

WYSIWYG · Guru

I agree that it's a problem. It's also part of our advancing world. Technology brings us all closer together at the same time it makes us all grow further apart.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

huskerbb wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
I know my neighbors enough to know when something is wrong. When kids get off buses, cars that are supposed to be there, when they generally come and go to work.

One I have known a longer. Their son and I ran in the same group. It was cool when they bought the house next door.

But I agree, most don't know their neighbors enough to say one way or another if someone should be called.
I'm not talking about anyone, specifically--but about our society in general. We don't really bother to get to know our neighbors--and yet feel smug in our self-righteousness enough to call the cops for every little thing that we think doesn't fit with our idea of how things should be.

I know. I was using myself as example and agreeing with you.

huskerbb · Guru

WYSIWYG wrote:
I agree that it's a problem. It's also part of our advancing world. Technology brings us all closer together at the same time it makes us all grow further apart.

It brings us--or maybe keeps us--closer to people we already know who we don't live near to.

I think it tends to isolate us from those who live on our own block.

Divine Geek · Guru

when I had my house in "the city", I really didn't know my neighbors. I knew the guys across the street, but they moved and I didn't really ever get to know the new people. I knew a family a few blocks away pretty well, but that was it. However, I was a MYOB person. I'd see them do stuff that made me roll my eyes, or tell my friends "you won't believe what idiot neighbor is doing now", but it never occurred to me to call the cops or CPS - even when they would let their 3 (maybe) year old play in the alleyway unsupervised. (as I reread this and think about it, I wonder how much of my not knowing the neighbors was my choice and how much was my ex's isolation of me)

Now, I only have 2 neighbors, and I know both of them pretty well, the one family has lived there almost 20 years (we've been here over 30). We're kinda out here alone, so its nice to know them. I know that if I have a problem, I can knock on either door and find help, and they know the same. Our dogs are also friends, it is not uncommon to look up and find a dog that's not ours chilling in the living room lol

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Mellow Momma wrote:
I agree with this. When we were young, if we got home before mom and dad unexpectedly, we had that neighbor we could call on. You knew you could go there, explain the situation, and they would take you in, let you use the phone, and you could hang out there until someone got home. It went without saying that their kid could do the same if needed. That isn't as common today.

My neighborhood is exactly like this. I love living in my neighborhood.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

I have lived in my house for 26 years. The neighborhood has changed and NOT for the better.

Until last year, our next-door neighbors were a wonderful couple. D knew about the neighbors & kept watch on our house when we were at work. She watched my boys grow up. They moved to a retirement community, which is what DH and I long to do...no maintenance, etc.

The problem in my neighborhood is that far too many of the houses are now rentals, and when that happens, it's not a good thing. The neighbor kids tease our dogs, I get hit on in my own driveway.

flan

FNW · Guru

I grew up in that kind of neighborhood, MM, too. I remember my friends and I would be sitting on our front lawn and very car that drove by waived. My friends couldn't believe that I knew everyone.

Now I know a lot of my neighbors, and several of us have an emergency plan in case we are unable to pick our kids up at the bus stop, or have an emergency, etc. Once when the road into our development flooded and the bus could not get through, the neighbor on the other side of the "stream" took all the kids into her home until the road was safe again and the parents could pick them up. We have a neighborhood "group" on yahoo where we communicate emergencies, etc., or if someone needs a contractor for something. Yesterday when our power was out and the main road outside our development was closed, neighbors updated each other on progress, etc. It was great for those who did not venture out or for those who were away, they knew when the power came back on, etc.

I do agree that society as a whole couldn't be bothered to get to know each other, especially in more populated areas. And before having children, I was pretty much that way myself. I knew one or two neighbors but pretty much kept to myself. I am a bit of a recluse. I've gotten better about getting to know my neighbors since having kids. I really do feel it "takes a village", or at least that "village" makes child-rearing easier. Or at least it eases my mind to know there is a back-up plan.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

When my kids were growing up, our next door neighbors were the parents of a boy I went to school with from 1st-high school. So they doted on the girls. The neighbors on the other side were a couple who bought the house, moved in, and broke up a year later. It took them 6 years to settle on what to do with the house. They paid someone to come cut the grass, but neither one lived in it. Ridiculous. I wouldn't have trusted them with a potted plant. But all up and down the street were people with kids you knew would take yours in if something happened. Even if you didn't speak to them ever, we all knew each other by sight and gave the nod as we passed the house.

Lexxy · My dog name is Sasha, too!

I don't know any of my neighbors. I was shocked when I saw my next door neighbors had a baby. I didn't even know she was pregnant. Monday a boy on the street waved at me as I drove past. I was pleasantly surprised. Nobody in my neighborhood waves. The neighborhood where I grew up everybody waved. They still do when I go visit.

FNW · Guru

Nobody knew I was pregnant either until the storks were placed on our front lawn. Nobody waves if we're out front but nobody really looks up (we live up on a hill) and we have a large front yard. If I'm down at the mailbox, they will wave.

sweet tooth · Member

huskerbb wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
I know my neighbors enough to know when something is wrong. When kids get off buses, cars that are supposed to be there, when they generally come and go to work.

One I have known a longer. Their son and I ran in the same group. It was cool when they bought the house next door.

But I agree, most don't know their neighbors enough to say one way or another if someone should be called.
I'm not talking about anyone, specifically--but about our society in general. We don't really bother to get to know our neighbors--and yet feel smug in our self-righteousness enough to call the cops for every little thing that we think doesn't fit with our idea of how things should be.

You hit the nail on the head with this - it's self righteousness.

Lexxy · My dog name is Sasha, too!

My next door neighbors on one side were friendly & welcomed me with cookies. Sadly they were transferred. The ones on the other side won't even look at me when we are outside at the same time. He was friendly when I first moved in. She yelled at him for talking to me so now he doesn't. It is strange. They are much younger so it's not like he was hitting on me. We were actually talking about our dogs. We share a fence line & the two of them would bark at each other through the fence.

I waved at the man across the street once & he just stared at me. His wife does wave but I rarely see her.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

I know several of my neighbors. But, I just met the guy on the left for the first time in 10 years a couple of weeks ago.

huskerbb · Guru

sweet tooth wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
I know my neighbors enough to know when something is wrong. When kids get off buses, cars that are supposed to be there, when they generally come and go to work.

One I have known a longer. Their son and I ran in the same group. It was cool when they bought the house next door.

But I agree, most don't know their neighbors enough to say one way or another if someone should be called.
I'm not talking about anyone, specifically--but about our society in general. We don't really bother to get to know our neighbors--and yet feel smug in our self-righteousness enough to call the cops for every little thing that we think doesn't fit with our idea of how things should be.
You hit the nail on the head with this - it's self righteousness.

Most of the time--sure it is. We think we know better how to parent kids, so anyone who dares to do it differently than we do needs the cops or CPS or whomever called on them.

It's an epidemic in this country. Kids and parents get the cops called on them for the kids playing in the park, walking down the street, camping, and even BEING IN THEIR OWN DAMN YARD.

Heck, we see it on here. People don't trust their teenagers to be home alone. They think 7 is too young to walk to school. They want to call the cops on a bunch of kids being watched by a SIXTEEN year old.

There is NEVER a guarantee that something "bad" won't happen to children--and that is whether or not their parents are there. Like I said yesterday, FAR more kids get hurt and/or killed being driven somewhere BY THEIR PARENTS or other adults than by pretty much all other causes of accidental deaths COMBINED, yet the "bad guys" in their skewed, self-righteous view are the parents who don't hover over their children 24/7.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

husker, depending on WHERE you live, a 7-year-old MAY actually be "too young to walk to school."

Add to that the fact that NOT ALL children develop at the same rate...

flan

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I would not have let my 7 year old walk to school. But they would have had to walk a mile along the side of a 5 lane major road with now sidewalk and at one point, they would have to walk in the road.

And they would have to cross a 4 lane road without any assistance from lights, crossing guards or even cross walk.

But they played outside and road bikes around the block and that kind of stuff.

I also have a neighbor, the house behind ours, that do questionable things. I'm actually pretty sure at least one or two here would have already called CPS on them.

But they just do things differently. A lot differently.

huskerbb · Guru

flan327 wrote:
husker, depending on WHERE you live, a 7-year-old MAY actually be "too young to walk to school."

Add to that the fact that NOT ALL children develop at the same rate...

flan

But that IS NOT your or some other busybody's decision to make. People can disagree on what age is appropriate, but said disagreement should NOT result in authorities being called. You make those choices for YOUR children and leave everyone else alone.

TrudyML · Guru

I walked to school when I was 5. I live in MA second largest city.

huskerbb · Guru

TrudyML wrote:
I walked to school when I was 5. I live in MA second largest city.

I was only 8 when I walked to school in the worst neighborhood in Milwaukee.

TrudyML · Guru

Well that way I could stuff bad papers in the sewer. Score!

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

I guess I win the neighborhood contest!

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
I guess I win the neighborhood contest!

I live in a really nice neighborhood too. My kids play with kids from other families. I know many of the people on the block. It's a nice neighborhood. That's why I would feel comfortable calling the cops on someone I knew didn't live there if they were hauling stuff out in the middle of the day.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

I only know a few neighbors. Most of the people here NEVER come out of their houses. You rarely see them. My one neighbor and I organized a block party one year. And, we had a decent turn out. But, then they all went back into their houses never to be seen again. We just moved and it is very private. Things are not like it was when I was a kid. Maybe in some places but that does not seem to be the culture here.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

My mom drove the school bus for this neighborhood. So she and dad know a good bit of the people.

When we first moved in, I mean that very first week. The old neighbors behind us had two guys I had known in school but didn't hang out with, they were older than me.

Well I'm standing at the kitchen sink one morning, look out and there was the oldest, on his back deck, butt naked and doing some kind of yoga or something.

Of course I threw open the window and let out the biggest yell of approval I could.

He jerked to attention, then bowed and went inside. He never did that again. Should have kept my mouth shut.

Same week, old neighbor next door, retired teacher or coach or something. He liked to sun bathe and mow and whatever else in a thong.

Thing is, when he sat down, you couldn't see a thing. He looked totally naked.

It was not as pretty as the yoga guy, that's for sure.

We were beginning to wonder if we had moved into a clothing optional neighborhood.

burns07 · Guru

we like our neighborhood a lot--we know most of our immediate neighbors and their kids--from spring through the cold weather after autumn, we dance out on the driveway a lot--we turn off the all the lights at the house and the neighbors do the same and we dance in the moonlight several times a month--we've created a sort of tradition for the neighborhood--we take them ( and their kids ) skiing a lot so we're on the lake with them a lot as well--we also hike daily so see pretty much everyone within a few blocks ( or they see us ) on a daily basis--sort of like mayberry / hooterville and we love it

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

My neighbor came over tonight and asked me if she could go to church with me next time I went. I guess we know each other at least a little bit because she knows I go to church and also felt comfortable enough asking to go. I know who most of my neighbors are and a decent amount about the immediate ones. I do know some of the families scattered throughout the block but most of the ones at the far end of the street I only know by sight. I don't make a nuisance of myself getting to know them but I do acknowledge them. I bring them gifts at Christmas and if I know one of them is having surgery or something I'll bring dinner over.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

This is a small town. And, I grew up in a small town so I would have thought there would be a bit more neighboring going on per se. My immediate neighbor and I are good friends and our kids played together and we have tea and chat and also have helped each during times to watch kids and so forth. Most of the rest seem to just keep to themselves. We did try a block party for 2 years and people came but that was the end of it. I am more of an introvert but my neighbor is very outgoing and she hasn't broken the ice with them either. Some people just don't care to socialize. As for the rest of the town, everyone pretty much knows or knows of people so you see people all the time at the grocery store, school functions, etc.

But there is a big diff between a friendly neighbor and a Busybody. Nobody likes a busy body.

FNW · Guru

OMG lily! Too funny! You live in a nudist colony!