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huskerbb


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So here's the situation.
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A woman on facebook put this situation out there.  She is divorced.  She has an eighteen year old son who is either in the military on leave, or is about to leave for boot camp (that point was not clear).  Not sure who he lived/lives with on a permanent basis, but I assume her.

Apparently, the kid was over at his dad's house and they drank some beer together.  She says he was drunk, but I'm not sure how or if she knows that since she didn't find out until several days later.  She does not say he drove anywhere while drinking.

 

She was LIVID.  She was talking about calling the cops, shutting off his cell phone, and whatever else.

 

I told her she was out of her damn mind. 

 

First of all, he's 18.  I GUARANTEE this isn't the first time he's drank alcohol--and chances are at least SOME of the other times it was with other teens and he probably drove, so chill.

Second.  She is divorced.  If one wants a say in how an ex parent's your kid--then don't make them an ex.  If you do make them an ex, then you can do very little when they don't do what you want.  Obviously, at 18, custody is no longer an issue.

Third--the notion of calling the cops is STUPID.  It could potentially screw him over for a military career.  The cops can't do anything with secondhand information DAYS after the fact, anyway.  Depending on the state, it may not even have been illegal.

Fourth, she can take his cell phone if she's paying for it--but once he's gone, she'll be crying about how she wants him to call, and by then--too damn bad.

Fifth--she is risking ruining her relationship with her son right before he leaves.  Kids aren't always going to do what you want them to do, especially at age 18. 



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FNW


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I agree with you on all points. Ridiculous.

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Ohfour


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100% agree with everything you said. She sounds like a control freak and now she's not in control...unless she wants to RUIN her son. He's 18. I told my kids, once they turn 18, its not on me anymore. You fvck up, you deal with it. But its doesn't seem like he fvcked up, she just wants to have control...

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huskerbb


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Well, I think all parents want to have control to a certain extent--but yeah, there comes a time when you have to just let things be.

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Yes. He's a legal adult. Not legal to drink but Oh Well. Sheesh.

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ed11563


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Sounds like she's in a panic because her baby is LEAVING. And since he's in the military, he's not SAFE like she wants him to be.

 

So, rational thought has left the building.



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Sounds as though her hatred for the ex and the idea to "get" him has clouded her brain about what it would mean to her ADULT child's future.

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Nobody Just Nobody


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I never take anything like this on FB to heart. There's always three sides to the story.

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huskerbb


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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

I never take anything like this on FB to heart. There's always three sides to the story.

True, but in this case, we are getting HER side of the story only.  If we had the dad's or the son's, it would probably make her look even worse.   



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lilyofcourse


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If he is old enough to stop a bullet, he is old enough to have a drink.

I can understand the concern though. Drinking and driving can end his career too if he rolls up on a road block.

And drinking and driving is dangerous. So I get that concern. Talk to him about that.

If there is history of alcoholism in the family, that could be an issue too.

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Charley Harper
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I agree with everyone that's posted so far.

She's definitely a nutjob, and if you are old enough to die for your country, you should be old enough to have a drink first.

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burns07


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If he is old enough to stop a bullet, he is old enough to have a drink.
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fine but that sure as hell doesn't give him the right to get drunk as a skunk and injure / kill my loved ones / me with a vehicle

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lilyofcourse


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burns07 wrote:


If he is old enough to stop a bullet, he is old enough to have a drink.
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fine but that sure as hell doesn't give him the right to get drunk as a skunk and injure / kill my loved ones / me with a vehicle

 I didn't say it did. That's why I said what I did about drinking and driving. 



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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Exactly Lilly. That is the conversation to have. Yes, express your disapproval about underage drinking. But, the real issue is don't drink and drive.

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FNW


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I can tell you I was a lot younger than 18 when I drank beer with my dad. They did not want alcohol to become some sort of taboo thing that I had to sneak. Want to drink? Do it here, at home, supervised.

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Lexxy


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FNW wrote:

I can tell you I was a lot younger than 18 when I drank beer with my dad. They did not want alcohol to become some sort of taboo thing that I had to sneak. Want to drink? Do it here, at home, supervised.

 Same thing at our house.  We were allowed a glass of wine at special dinners when we were much younger & then as teens we could drink at home.  Invite a few friends over, watch movies, play Trivial Pursuit & have a few drinks.  Nobody leaves the house.



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FNW


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Now the parents would probably be arrested for allowing it.

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huskerbb


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burns07 wrote:


If he is old enough to stop a bullet, he is old enough to have a drink.
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fine but that sure as hell doesn't give him the right to get drunk as a skunk and injure / kill my loved ones / me with a vehicle

 No one said otherwise, and there is no indication he was driving.  



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msrock


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FNW wrote:

Now the parents would probably be arrested for allowing it.

I would be upset with a parent for providing alcohol to my underage child.  I was very upset when I found out one of my kids friend's parents was buying him cigarettes.  I didn't call the police, but I had a conversation with her.  I've had 2 graduation parties and did not permit any of the kids to drink.



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huskerbb


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msrock wrote:
FNW wrote:

Now the parents would probably be arrested for allowing it.

I would be upset with a parent for providing alcohol to my underage child.  I was very upset when I found out one of my kids friend's parents was buying him cigarettes.  I didn't call the police, but I had a conversation with her.  I've had 2 graduation parties and did not permit any of the kids to drink.

 Other parents providing it to your child.  Not the situation here.



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FNW


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We were never allowed to bring our friends over for a drink. Just me, alone with my parents and brother. But today, my parents would probably still be arrested.

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msrock


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huskerbb wrote:
msrock wrote:
FNW wrote:

Now the parents would probably be arrested for allowing it.

I would be upset with a parent for providing alcohol to my underage child.  I was very upset when I found out one of my kids friend's parents was buying him cigarettes.  I didn't call the police, but I had a conversation with her.  I've had 2 graduation parties and did not permit any of the kids to drink.

 Other parents providing it to your child.  Not the situation here.

 I was referring to Lexxy's post.



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huskerbb


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I'm not handing other kids beer unless I know their parents are ok with it--but I'm not babysitting them, either. If they are somewhere alcohol is served and they go against their own parents' wishes, not my problem. I've had issues with that before. They expected me to be the keg police because they knew their kids would probably go behind their back. Not happening.

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Lexxy


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msrock wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
msrock wrote:
FNW wrote:

Now the parents would probably be arrested for allowing it.

I would be upset with a parent for providing alcohol to my underage child.  I was very upset when I found out one of my kids friend's parents was buying him cigarettes.  I didn't call the police, but I had a conversation with her.  I've had 2 graduation parties and did not permit any of the kids to drink.

 Other parents providing it to your child.  Not the situation here.

 I was referring to Lexxy's post.

 Their parents knew & were ok with it as long as it was a limited amount & we didn't leave the house.



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msrock


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Lexxy wrote:
msrock wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
msrock wrote:
FNW wrote:

Now the parents would probably be arrested for allowing it.

I would be upset with a parent for providing alcohol to my underage child.  I was very upset when I found out one of my kids friend's parents was buying him cigarettes.  I didn't call the police, but I had a conversation with her.  I've had 2 graduation parties and did not permit any of the kids to drink.

 Other parents providing it to your child.  Not the situation here.

 I was referring to Lexxy's post.

 Their parents knew & were ok with it as long as it was a limited amount & we didn't leave the house.

 If the parents are fine with it, so am I.  lol.



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