DEAR ABBY: Three months ago, my sister "Diane" said she would like to get the family together for some professional family photos. The photographer she chose was available only on one particular day. Unfortunately, my husband couldn't get off from work that day.
Diane then suggested we take the pictures without him. I said it was inappropriate and refused. When I asked if we could use a different photographer at another time, my sister told me to forget the whole thing.
Today I was visiting my parents and I saw the family photos -- taken without me, my husband and our child. I had no idea they had gone ahead and taken the pictures without us. I am angry and hurt. I'm especially mad at my mom because she knew how bothered I was that Diane suggested excluding my husband.
Am I justified in feeling this way? Should they have waited until the whole family was able to get together? Or should I suck it up and not expect everyone to accommodate my husband's work schedule? -- OUT OF THE PICTURE IN HOUSTON
Well, sometimes you can't wait for everyone to make plans. Sometimes you just have to say "we are doing such and such on this date and you are welcome to join or not". It isn't always someone else's responsibility to keep trying to meet your schedule. So, I guess I don't think it is that big of a deal. So, get go get mom and dad and do your own photos if that is important to you.
Well, sometimes you can't wait for everyone to make plans. Sometimes you just have to say "we are doing such and such on this date and you are welcome to join or not". It isn't always someone else's responsibility to keep trying to meet your schedule. So, I guess I don't think it is that big of a deal. So, get go get mom and dad and do your own photos if that is important to you.
Well, it sounds like in this instance, the sister didn't even try. It was just "Here's the day".
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
Well, sometimes you can't wait for everyone to make plans. Sometimes you just have to say "we are doing such and such on this date and you are welcome to join or not". It isn't always someone else's responsibility to keep trying to meet your schedule. So, I guess I don't think it is that big of a deal. So, get go get mom and dad and do your own photos if that is important to you.
But this is a family photo, meant to last long after the day is over, not some random family picnic for so and so's birthday. There are other photographers and other days.
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I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.
Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.
Well, sometimes you can't wait for everyone to make plans. Sometimes you just have to say "we are doing such and such on this date and you are welcome to join or not". It isn't always someone else's responsibility to keep trying to meet your schedule. So, I guess I don't think it is that big of a deal. So, get go get mom and dad and do your own photos if that is important to you.
But this is a family photo, meant to last long after the day is over, not some random family picnic for so and so's birthday. There are other photographers and other days.
Yes, this was sad that the sister couldn't try to reschedule. But a good photographer would have worked around the missing hubby and later done a photoshop insert, not at all difficult for them.
Well, sometimes you can't wait for everyone to make plans. Sometimes you just have to say "we are doing such and such on this date and you are welcome to join or not". It isn't always someone else's responsibility to keep trying to meet your schedule. So, I guess I don't think it is that big of a deal. So, get go get mom and dad and do your own photos if that is important to you.
But this is a family photo, meant to last long after the day is over, not some random family picnic for so and so's birthday. There are other photographers and other days.
I agree. This is something that needs planned months in advance, with input from everyone so it can be a true family keepsake. Excluding one part of the family is just rude. I personally can't imagine taking a "family photo" with only one of my children. It would be a nice photo, but it wouldn't be a family photo. I wonder why the parents didn't say something?
I should mention that I don't have any siblings so the only reference I have for that dynamic is my children.
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Out of all the lies I have told, "just kidding" is my favorite !
Well, sometimes you can't wait for everyone to make plans. Sometimes you just have to say "we are doing such and such on this date and you are welcome to join or not". It isn't always someone else's responsibility to keep trying to meet your schedule. So, I guess I don't think it is that big of a deal. So, get go get mom and dad and do your own photos if that is important to you.
But this is a family photo, meant to last long after the day is over, not some random family picnic for so and so's birthday. There are other photographers and other days.
I agree. This is something that needs planned months in advance, with input from everyone so it can be a true family keepsake. Excluding one part of the family is just rude. I personally can't imagine taking a "family photo" with only one of my children. It would be a nice photo, but it wouldn't be a family photo. I wonder why the parents didn't say something?
I should mention that I don't have any siblings so the only reference I have for that dynamic is my children.
Oh, screw her. Invite mom and dad to a Carribean vacation and take photos there, lol.
Hahah. She should totally talk to the sister about going on a 'family' vacation. Plan it and don't tell her until the week before, and when she can't go, tell her to just forget it and go without her.
I always think about these things and ask myself, Is this something MY family would do? If the answer is yes then I know there's probably something wrong. If the answer is no then no biggie.
This is something my family would do...
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“You may shoot me with your words, you may cut me with your eyes, you may kill me with your hatefulness, but still, like air, I'll rise!” ― Maya Angelou
I don't think it's a big deal. The sister was getting her family pictures taken (Diane, her husband, and kids), if parents and siblings and in-laws can make it, fine. If not, that's OK too. It didn't mention that Diane's husband's parents and siblings and their spouses and children were in the picture.
I think its just a difference in the definition of family photo.
I don't think it's a big deal. The sister was getting her family pictures taken (Diane, her husband, and kids), if parents and siblings and in-laws can make it, fine. If not, that's OK too. It didn't mention that Diane's husband's parents and siblings and their spouses and children were in the picture.
I think its just a difference in the definition of family photo.
That's not at all what it says. It says that Diane specifically called her to get family pictures--meaning the LW, her sister Diane and their families, and their parents.
Diane's in-laws would obviously never be included in such a scenario.
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I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.
Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.