TOTALLY GEEKED!

Ohfour wrote:

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And it's not about trusting yourself. Its about perception.

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 And the perception is that such policies are ridiculous and sexist.

Ohfour wrote:

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And it's not about trusting yourself. Its about perception.

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Well, perception is important to a point.  But, sorry, I am not going to live my life trying to worry about everyone else's perception.   People are going to think what they want to think.  And, obviously in business, sometimes you have to manage that a bit.   But, I had 2 business partners, one male and one female.  And, my male business partner and I went to a weekend conference in Orlando.  We flew together and attended the conference.   He is like a much older brother to me and I have known him for years.  Neither DH nor his wife had any issue with it and neither did we.  So, if someone wants to think something, they may.  But, we are good friends and worked together for years until he recently retired. 

Ohfour wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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I'm from small town USA--gossip center of the universe--and no one here would look twice at people on a business lunch. Better class of people, I suppose.

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HA!  Not if they are anything like you...doesn't get much more classless..

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 your neighbors are apparently inveterate gossips who believe the worst about everyone.

Tinydancer wrote:

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I'm not sure why Ohfour doing what works for her and her DH makes you both want to pretend your way is better. Whatever works for YOU is fine just like what works for HER is fine. Acting like you have more class because you don't care about your reputation is laughable.

-- Edited by Tinydancer on Tuesday 7th of July 2015 10:40:57 AM

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 I didn't say I had more class.  I said the people where I live must have.

Ohfour wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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I'm from small town USA--gossip center of the universe--and no one here would look twice at people on a business lunch. Better class of people, I suppose.

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HA!  Not if they are anything like you...doesn't get much more classless..

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Let's see: husker is hard-working & a devoted husband & father.

"Classless?"

flan 

Ohfour wrote:

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flan327 wrote:

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Ohfour wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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I'm from small town USA--gossip center of the universe--and no one here would look twice at people on a business lunch. Better class of people, I suppose.

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HA!  Not if they are anything like you...doesn't get much more classless..

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Let's see: husker is hard-working & a devoted husband & father.

"Classless?"

flan 

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And myself and neighbors are also.  Don't see you defending us... 

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 You are the one saying tha you can't even go to lunch with a member of the opposite sex who isn't your husband for fear of ruining your reputation.  

Either the people around you are judgmental gossips and you do have to worry about that--or they aren't, in which case you shouldn't have to worry about it and should be able to take a male friend to lunch.

huskerbb wrote:

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Tinydancer wrote:

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I would say Ohfour works hard at keeping a good reputation whereas you don't really care about yours. That is the difference.

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 I have a great reputation--both in the community I live and the one I work in.  And the one I formerly worked in.

 

but yeah, if someone doesn't like me, I could give a **** less.

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Consider the source, husker...

flan 

Ohfour wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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No one even dates?

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OK...since you like to pick apart...

 

I know of NO married people that would be seen out with someone of the opposite sex that's not a family member... 

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 For someone going into politics, you would never make it in the National arena.  As a lobbyist for a military association, I had to have dinners and lunches and breakfasts with members of the opposite sex on a number of occasions.  And gasp, we might have even taken a taxi and used the metro together after our meeting.  

Again, this breeds of sexism.  Because two men wouldn't cause a blink, but a man and a women automatically makes your constituency think sex.  That is a shame on your local.  

Ilumine wrote:

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Tinydancer wrote:

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I would say Ohfour works hard at keeping a good reputation whereas you don't really care about yours. That is the difference.

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 So what about me?  I care about my reputation.  My business reputation was very important to me.  Hell, if my reputation was poor, I would not have been asked to testify in front of congress.  And yet, I have been known to have dinner with men who were not of my family.  I have been known to even travel around the country with men who were not of my family and no one blinked.  

WHY?  Because in this day and age of equality, women can actually do more than sit home and cook and clean.  And that includes sometimes doing jobs that bring us into contact with <gasp> other men.  

And honestly, how is Ofour going to be able to DO her job if she is never allowed to go out amongst her constituency alone?  Is she going to have to call her husband every time there is a meeting with one of the village elders or lawyer or school district superintendent?  How is this going to work?

This has to be one of the most sexist posts on here ever - and that says a lot given Husker is here. 

 

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I don't have to call my husband for anything.  This is MY decision out of respect for myself and my husband.  If I was invited to dinner or a closed door meeting with another man, I would bring along someone else. 

And this has nothing to do with being a woman.  My husband wouldn't do it either, so you can stop playing the sexist card.

Here at work, we have a policy that there be no closed doors when a man and a woman are meeting.  No one has ever had a problem with that. 

Tinydancer wrote:

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Why is Ohfour keeping her reputation any kind of problem for you? She's not saying you need to follow what her and her DH have worked out , only that that's how they do it. If you find it sexist don't do it but don't act like what she's doing for herself and her marriage is wrong because YOU don't like it. I don't have this rule in my marriage but if I did it would be no one elses business.

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Thank you... 

huskerbb wrote:

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Tinydancer wrote:

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Why is Ohfour keeping her reputation any kind of problem for you? She's not saying you need to follow what her and her DH have worked out , only that that's how they do it. If you find it sexist don't do it but don't act like what she's doing for herself and her marriage is wrong because YOU don't like it. I don't have this rule in my marriage but if I did it would be no one elses business.

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 Because it has NOTHING to do with "reputation".  They can have whatever rules they want if they don't trust themselves or their partner--but call it what it is.

-- Edited by huskerbb on Tuesday 7th of July 2015 03:42:40 PM

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We have IMMENSE trust.  Women throw themselves at my husband all the time.  In front of me, so I KNOW they do it when I'm not there. I trust him completely.  And he I.  The people on here that know us know this.  You can make all the assumptions that you want, but I guarantee my marriage is a lot better than yours... 

huskerbb wrote:

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Tinydancer wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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Tinydancer wrote:

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Why is Ohfour keeping her reputation any kind of problem for you? She's not saying you need to follow what her and her DH have worked out , only that that's how they do it. If you find it sexist don't do it but don't act like what she's doing for herself and her marriage is wrong because YOU don't like it. I don't have this rule in my marriage but if I did it would be no one elses business.

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 Because it has NOTHING to do with "reputation".  They can have whatever rules they want if they don't trust themselves or their partner--but call it what it is.

-- Edited by huskerbb on Tuesday 7th of July 2015 03:42:40 PM

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 So putting her down and calling her names just makes you feel better?

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 What names????  WTF are you blubbering about?

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I'm from small town USA--gossip center of the universe--and no one here would look twice at people on a business lunch. Better class of people, I suppose.

So you weren't trying to put her down? You weren't trying to pretend you were somehow better than her because you hang out alone with women not your wife?

Tinydancer wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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Tinydancer wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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Tinydancer wrote:

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Why is Ohfour keeping her reputation any kind of problem for you? She's not saying you need to follow what her and her DH have worked out , only that that's how they do it. If you find it sexist don't do it but don't act like what she's doing for herself and her marriage is wrong because YOU don't like it. I don't have this rule in my marriage but if I did it would be no one elses business.

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 Because it has NOTHING to do with "reputation".  They can have whatever rules they want if they don't trust themselves or their partner--but call it what it is.

-- Edited by huskerbb on Tuesday 7th of July 2015 03:42:40 PM

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 So putting her down and calling her names just makes you feel better?

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 What names????  WTF are you blubbering about?

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I'm from small town USA--gossip center of the universe--and no one here would look twice at people on a business lunch. Better class of people, I suppose.

 

So you weren't trying to put her down? You weren't trying to pretend you were somehow better than her because you hang out alone with women not your wife?

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 No, I never said I was better.  I said the people where I live were better than the people where she lives who must be judgmental gossips if she can't eat lunch with a male colleague alone without worrying about her "reputation".

Tinydancer wrote:

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Try reading what she wrote. She said that's what they decided for themselves. The neighbors had nothing to do with their decision, and yes we know you are the authority on what everyone should do...lol

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 No, she said they had to protect their reputations.

Lexxy wrote:

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I honestly think it is more of a Southern thing than anything else. Genteel Southern Belles did not keep company with gentlemen alone & it just seems to be a hold over from older days. I don't think they view it as sexist. It is just the way things are done in that region.

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 And black people couldn't eat at whites only restaurants, either.

huskerbb wrote:

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Lexxy wrote:

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I honestly think it is more of a Southern thing than anything else. Genteel Southern Belles did not keep company with gentlemen alone & it just seems to be a hold over from older days. I don't think they view it as sexist. It is just the way things are done in that region.

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 And black people couldn't eat at whites only restaurants, either.

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And that has nothing to do with the way my husband and I handle our relationship... 

Ohfour wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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Lexxy wrote:

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I honestly think it is more of a Southern thing than anything else. Genteel Southern Belles did not keep company with gentlemen alone & it just seems to be a hold over from older days. I don't think they view it as sexist. It is just the way things are done in that region.

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 And black people couldn't eat at whites only restaurants, either.

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And that has nothing to do with the way my husband and I handle our relationship... 

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 That's why I didn't say it in response to one of your posts.  Not everything is about you.

huskerbb wrote:

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Ohfour wrote:

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And it's not about trusting yourself. Its about perception.

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 And the perception is that such policies are ridiculous and sexist.

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 No. Really it isnt. 

Rumors and innuendo have caused a lot of trouble for people.

And the Bible tells us to not even give the impression that you could be sinning. 

And it's respectful of the SO.

flan327 wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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Ohfour wrote:

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And it's not about trusting yourself. Its about perception.

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 And the perception is that such policies are ridiculous and sexist.

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I have to agree.

I mean, C'MON, if you WERE having an affair, it's doubtful that you would be hanging out in public places...

flan 

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 You should know....

lilyofcourse wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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Ohfour wrote:

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And it's not about trusting yourself. Its about perception.

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 And the perception is that such policies are ridiculous and sexist.

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 No. Really it isnt. 

Rumors and innuendo have caused a lot of trouble for people.

 

And the Bible tells us to not even give the impression that you could be sinning. 

And it's respectful of the SO.

 

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 Rumors and innuendo ARE sins--variations on the word gossip.  

Having lunch with with someone of the opposite gender gives the impression you are having lunch--except to said gossips who are busy doing the actual sinning.