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Will you buy these today? [4 vote(s)]

YES !!! All of them !!!
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ed11563


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8 Stupid Amazon Products With Impressively Sarcastic Reviews
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8 Stupid Amazon Products With Impressively Sarcastic Reviews

By Christina H December 21, 2010 5,165,180 views

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Everybody is a comedian these days, and the Internet has given us all an enormous stage. Maybe the best example is a supposedly comedy-free site like Amazon.com.

The deal is, anybody can write a review, on any product, whether they have bought it or not. So it's just a matter of finding a baffling/ridiculous/useless product and watching the Internet's sarcasm run wild. For instance, just check out the reviews for ...

#8. The "Guardian Angel" Acupuncture Device

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Yeah, I know, sex toy jokes, right? Fortunately Amazon reviewers turn out to be more creative than you and I:

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Bizarrely so:

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By the way, the product description claims it's a Korean acupressure device. You roll it around on your hand and it cures your arthritis or something. That actually leads me to quote one more review:

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All right, I guess there was room for at least one good sex toy joke.

#7. Wheelmate Laptop Steering Wheel Desk

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This is a laptop desk that attaches to the steering wheel of your car, which is all that really needs to be said. But, of course, Amazon reviewers take pointing out what's wrong with it to the next level.

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I should point out that, when we're done laughing at the stories of people mixing ****tails and eating chili while driving, there are some people who might actually get some use out of this when their car is safely parked. People like claims adjusters or real estate agents, who have to drive from client to client without returning to the office and need to do paperwork in the parking lot.

Not to be a wet blanket and say you can't cut lines of coke during a high-speed chase once in a while. Just do it responsibly.

#6. Uranium Ore

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This is just your average can of uranium ore (well, the store that sells it also sells Geiger counters, UFO/ESP detectors and a camera for taking pictures of psychic auras, so take that as you will). So you've got your standard, "It mutated all the ants in my house!" reviews, but the best ones here are the ones you didn't see coming. Like this:

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Or you can just enjoy this Back to the Future reference.

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The title's all you need from that one.

#5. How To Avoid Huge Ships

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Owners of small boats sometimes end up in the path of large shipping vessels due to not paying attention to shipping etiquette and rules, so sure, it's something people might need to read up on. Still, as you can imagine, the title of this one sent the sarcasm meter into the red:

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As if that wasn't enough, Madeleine B. piles on an additional layer of sarcasm icing on the sarcasm cake:

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What's it like to be so perfect, indeed.



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ed11563


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#2 of 2

 

8 Stupid Amazon Products With Impressively Sarcastic Reviews

By Christina H December 21, 2010 5,165,831 views

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#4. Playmobil Security Check Point

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This toy is a model of a security checkpoint at an airport, with the same luggage x-ray and metal detector that has been standard in U.S. airports since the 1970s. Naturally, most reviewers use this as a launching pad for diatribes against the U.S. government and the "police state" represented by the new controversial full-body scanners:

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OK, that might be kind of a ha-ha satire of people who overreact to toys or something. I'm sure they don't really think that airport security belongs in the same category as waterboarding.

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I cut it off there because this guy wrote a whole ****ing essay about our police state and what's wrong with airport security and how the system favors the rich and something about Guantanamo. I think he started out planning to write a joke about how thanks to some interesting timing, a previously innocent toy for kids now reminds people of a current controversy and then remembered how much he hated the TSA and started writing a Letter to the Editor.

I'm not joking when I say it's an essay, here's what the whole thing looks like.

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"But wait," you might say, "I agree with that guy and find his stupid essay funny and enlightening. Can't a person make a political point and also get it across humorously, even if you disagree with him?"

Sure, but it wouldn't look like that. It would probably look something like this.

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You can thank Amazon reviewer John T. Thompson for that.

#3. Denon AKDL1 Dedicated Link Cable

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If you are any kind of tech person you probably know the whole high-end cable business is a scam. There is nothing more highly marked up and full of bull**** technobabble buzzwords than TV or computer cables in an electronics store. In a field of bull****ters, this cable was a bull**** medalist, though, with an original list price of $500, for a five-foot ethernet cable. Tech geeks tore it to pieces.

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As you can see, the bitingly sarcastic reviewers were remarkably balanced. Not only did they talk about the cable's miraculous benefits, but were open about the dangers of such amazing technology:

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I'm actually a little scared now.

#2. Laparoscopic Gastric Bypass Kit

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For whatever reason, some people do sell medical supplies on Amazon that only a doctor should be using. Like this exam table. I hope to God that it's only doctors that are buying these things, anyway. Still, reviewers had a field day:

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#1. Mysterious "Parent Child Testing Product"

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Amazon users do their best to answer the question on everyone's mind: "What the hell is this?"

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Sure, I could tell you what the deal is with this listing but that would be like explaining how Santa could never get to every child's house in one night. Isn't there little enough wonder left in the world without taking this away?

Check out more from Christina in 5 Topics Guaranteed to Elicit (Condescending) Advice and The 6 (Wrong) Questions Men Love to Ask About Women.



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just Czech


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I spit coffee on my computer after reading the last response to the acupuncture devise. ROTF

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My favorite reviews are still for the sugar free gummy bears. Those are hilarious.

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Vette


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Haha how to avoid huge dog ****s I liked that one :)

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I've read a lot of those in the past. So funny.

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I like the cable reviews & the one on the parent child testing where they said they are taking the baby back to the hospital.

OMG LL, those gummy bear reviews are hilarious. I laughed so hard I had tears running down my face. I also don't think I've eaten gummy bears since.

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Is the AutoExec Wheelmate strong enough to hold up a microwave oven? I like to cook bacon for breakfast and this would save time on my commute.
asked by Buster B on January 20, 2014
 
 
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I think so, as long as it's a small one that uses 12v DC power (if you need 120 ac you'll need a good long extension cord... probably about 20 miles worth.
J. Haynes answered on January 20, 2014
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What sort pf philistine cooks bacon in the microwave? Ok, I admit I used to but there are better options that will cook better bacon and also be within the weight limits of the AutoExec Wheelmate.

Now if you want to go electric you will need an adapter for the cigarette lighter:
BESTEK® 300W Dual 110V AC Outlets Power Inverter Car DC 12V to 110V AC Inverter with Dual USB Charging Ports for Smartphones and Tablets
You can just set that in your lap or on the floor in front of the driver. » Read More
SmashCritical answered on April 22, 2014
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Listen up. Micro = small. No, micro = smaller than small. So yes. A microwave oven would fit just fine. I'd recommend taking a route without many turns, however. Those suckers can get hot, and you don't want greasy bacon falling out and landing on your lap.
D. Maurillo answered on January 20, 2014
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Mine dose hold a marble chess set on my motorcycle It is rather wieghty so in my opion a small microwave shouldnt' be a problem. I use velcro to hold the pieces down.
Lewis E. Aliff Jr. answered on January 22, 2014
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No, I just got mine and would not fit and it broke, it is made out of sawdust glued together, and covered with a covering.
KingSparta answered on August 28, 2014
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You have to consider the weight and size of the surface. I would say not at all. Microwaves are small, but as far as a vehichle it would be hudge. Thyn you have to have a power inverter. I wont attempt it and would tell others not to either. These autoexec steering wheel work stations are just that, a work station.
Butch Harding answered on June 15, 2015
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The Principle of Least Interest: He who cares least about a relationship, controls it.

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ed11563


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I know what to do_sometimes wrote:

I've read a lot of those in the past. So funny.

 

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Is the AutoExec Wheelmate strong enough to hold up a microwave oven? I like to cook bacon for breakfast and this would save time on my commute.

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I think so, as long as it's a small one that uses 12v DC power (if you need 120 ac you'll need a good long extension cord... probably about 20 miles worth.
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Does blood wipe off of it easily?

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The AutoExec wheelmate table is designed to clean easily and in most situations. Blood wipes off easily if it is someone else's blood. If it is your own, well...it depends entirely on what you have cut off. Then 'wiping' may become a problem.
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Southern_Belle


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I love the sugar free gummy bear reviews. I'm sure some are made up but they are written so well.

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The Parent Child Testing Product looks like an Ultraman version with antlers.

 

 



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Hahahah! Those were great!

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