TOTALLY GEEKED!

Ohfour · Hooker

RE: I need some help with an awkward social situation

ed11563 · Guru

huskerbb wrote:
ed11563 wrote:
Tangerine wrote:
Um . . . she is a nice person apart from this one issue.

No, she is NOT a nice person, she's a sexual predator.
She is not nice, she is not your friend, she only wants to get into your pants, and probably her husband wants to get into your husband's pants.I can't believe how many people were so quick to type "yes" in the comments to this picture. I mean, I get the impulse, we'd all like to believe we'd help our Lord--but our actions belie our words. Did you speak ill of a neighbor today? Did you snap at your children? Have a lustful thought about someone who is not your spouse? Give the guy who cut you off in traffic the bird? Fail to forgive a perceived or actual slight by someone? Then you walked right on by without lifting a finger. You DID that, not just pretend, not just on facebook--but in actuality. If you had not done those things--and the HUNDREDS of other things you do or don't do that are not inaccordance with God's will every year of your life--then Christ would not be in that position in the first place. Do we suppose we are somehow better than Peter--the ROCK upon which Christ built his church, yet who denied Christ three times? Really, are we so arrogant to think that we would so easily do what Peter could not?
You have to stay away from these people.

Oh sexual predator--Geez ed, get a grip.

This is annoying behavior between adults that is NO DIFFERENT than any other annoying behavior between adults.

First, there is a lot of text here that looks like it came from me but it DIDN'T. DON'T PUT WORDS IN MY MOUTH.

Second, if I did what she did, you would be labeling me a sexual predator.

ed11563 · Guru

"This is my problem: whenever we socialize with Jim and Rose, she seems to have a couple drinks and then claim to be tipsy. Fine.

But then she will do things like grab my boobs, or give me extra long, extra close, back rubbing hugs. On one occasion she grabbed my face and planted a kiss on my lips. She seems to think that this is cute or something and when I tried to talk to her about it she blew it off as her just being tipsy."

Rose doing this to Tangerine, IMHO, is the same thing as if Rose's husband were to grab Tangerine's husband's penis, plant a big wet kiss on Tang's husband's lips and, uninvited, give him a back massage.

Husker, what would YOU DO if your male friend walked up, kissed you and grabbed your penis??? (I suspect that you'd punch his lights out, or at the very least shove him away and YELL at him to get the hell away from you.

This is NOT something a straight, married woman would do to another married woman without a clear invitation. Or even WITH a clear invitation.

huskerbb · Guru

ed11563 wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
ed11563 wrote:
Tangerine wrote:
Um . . . she is a nice person apart from this one issue.

No, she is NOT a nice person, she's a sexual predator.
She is not nice, she is not your friend, she only wants to get into your pants, and probably her husband wants to get into your husband's pants.
You have to stay away from these people.

Oh sexual predator--Geez ed, get a grip.

This is annoying behavior between adults that is NO DIFFERENT than any other annoying behavior between adults.
First, there is a lot of text here that looks like it came from me but it DIDN'T. DON'T PUT WORDS IN MY MOUTH.

Second, if I did what she did, you would be labeling me a sexual predator.

I do not know where the red text came from. I did not mean to attribute it to you. I will go back and edit that post if you want to do the same.

As to the second part--no, I would not be labeling you a sexual predator under the conditions described. A drunken jerk--yeah. Predator--no.

Tangerine · Guru

I don't know about her being a predator. She is doing all this on purpose though. In the boob grabbing incident she had "joked" all evening about how she planned to grab all the ladies' boobs at the next party they were throwing and "you're coming, right, Tang? *wink*". So openly flirting with me, it seemed to me.

Then when they were leaving for the evening, I was giving hugs to everyone and she came in for a hug I thought but grabbed my boobs instead. Everyone else seemed to think it was funny.

Husband thinks she is just joking around but says that he will be okay with not hanging out with them anymore.

And Ed. I'm not sure why you went with the idea that one of Husband's best friends of over 10 years may be after his peen. You may actually be right in this case though. Jim likes to send all of his friends gay porn pictures as a "joke".

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Ohfour wrote:
I think that she's testing you. To see if you would want to be part of their lifestyle. If you don't take immediate and harsh action, she will continue to push the boundaries.

I also think that she's not as tipsy as she claims to be. She uses that as an excuse to for her behavior should you be offended. She knows EXACTLY what she is doing.

I haven't read the other posts. But she is invading not just your personal space but assaulting you. She is not a nice person. Just tell her straight out to cut the **** or no longer will you be able to friends. Quite frankly, if it were me, I would tell her to cut it out and not be friends.

huskerbb · Guru

Plus, there's a HUGE difference between "sexual predator" and "swingers" who just want to get with you.

A predator uses an unequal power relationship to exert control over a victim.

Swingers who want to get with you--or anyone who wants to "get with" someone else--do what they are doing. They "hit" on you, flirt, have sexually suggestive conversation, push the boundaries, etc..., and the "power relationship" here is pretty much equal.

ed11563 · Guru

Tangerine wrote:
I don't know about her being a predator. She is doing all this on purpose though. In the boob grabbing incident she had "joked" all evening about how she planned to grab all the ladies' boobs at the next party they were throwing and "you're coming, right, Tang? *wink*". So openly flirting with me, it seemed to me.

Then when they were leaving for the evening, I was giving hugs to everyone and she came in for a hug I thought but grabbed my boobs instead. Everyone else seemed to think it was funny.

Husband thinks she is just joking around but says that he will be okay with not hanging out with them anymore.

And Ed. I'm not sure why you went with the idea that one of Husband's best friends of over 10 years may be after his peen. You may actually be right in this case though. Jim likes to send all of his friends gay porn pictures as a "joke".

I'm glad you're figuring this out, and I'm glad you're okay.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Tangerine wrote:
I don't know about her being a predator. She is doing all this on purpose though. In the boob grabbing incident she had "joked" all evening about how she planned to grab all the ladies' boobs at the next party they were throwing and "you're coming, right, Tang? *wink*". So openly flirting with me, it seemed to me.

Then when they were leaving for the evening, I was giving hugs to everyone and she came in for a hug I thought but grabbed my boobs instead. Everyone else seemed to think it was funny.

Husband thinks she is just joking around but says that he will be okay with not hanging out with them anymore.

And Ed. I'm not sure why you went with the idea that one of Husband's best friends of over 10 years may be after his peen. You may actually be right in this case though. Jim likes to send all of his friends gay porn pictures as a "joke".

I've been thinking about this a lot today because it is just SO skeevy. Really. I think my instinctual response would be to tense up on the backrubs and tell her not to touch me. And grabbing my boobs - that would get a physical response without me even thinking about it.

ed11563 · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
Tangerine wrote:
I don't know about her being a predator. She is doing all this on purpose though. In the boob grabbing incident she had "joked" all evening about how she planned to grab all the ladies' boobs at the next party they were throwing and "you're coming, right, Tang? *wink*". So openly flirting with me, it seemed to me.

Then when they were leaving for the evening, I was giving hugs to everyone and she came in for a hug I thought but grabbed my boobs instead. Everyone else seemed to think it was funny.

Husband thinks she is just joking around but says that he will be okay with not hanging out with them anymore.

And Ed. I'm not sure why you went with the idea that one of Husband's best friends of over 10 years may be after his peen. You may actually be right in this case though. Jim likes to send all of his friends gay porn pictures as a "joke".
I've been thinking about this a lot today because it is just SO skeevy. Really. I think my instinctual response would be to tense up on the backrubs and tell her not to touch me. And grabbing my boobs - that would get a physical response without me even thinking about it.

Doesn't it seem to be "grooming"?

huskerbb · Guru

ed11563 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Tangerine wrote:
I don't know about her being a predator. She is doing all this on purpose though. In the boob grabbing incident she had "joked" all evening about how she planned to grab all the ladies' boobs at the next party they were throwing and "you're coming, right, Tang? *wink*". So openly flirting with me, it seemed to me.

Then when they were leaving for the evening, I was giving hugs to everyone and she came in for a hug I thought but grabbed my boobs instead. Everyone else seemed to think it was funny.

Husband thinks she is just joking around but says that he will be okay with not hanging out with them anymore.

And Ed. I'm not sure why you went with the idea that one of Husband's best friends of over 10 years may be after his peen. You may actually be right in this case though. Jim likes to send all of his friends gay porn pictures as a "joke".
I've been thinking about this a lot today because it is just SO skeevy. Really. I think my instinctual response would be to tense up on the backrubs and tell her not to touch me. And grabbing my boobs - that would get a physical response without me even thinking about it.
Doesn't it seem to be "grooming"?

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Geez Ed. It's a horny chick that swings.

She's flirting. She needs to be told no.

-- Edited by lilyofcourse on Thursday 16th of July 2015 10:42:41 PM

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

ed11563 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Tangerine wrote:
I don't know about her being a predator. She is doing all this on purpose though. In the boob grabbing incident she had "joked" all evening about how she planned to grab all the ladies' boobs at the next party they were throwing and "you're coming, right, Tang? *wink*". So openly flirting with me, it seemed to me.

Then when they were leaving for the evening, I was giving hugs to everyone and she came in for a hug I thought but grabbed my boobs instead. Everyone else seemed to think it was funny.

Husband thinks she is just joking around but says that he will be okay with not hanging out with them anymore.

And Ed. I'm not sure why you went with the idea that one of Husband's best friends of over 10 years may be after his peen. You may actually be right in this case though. Jim likes to send all of his friends gay porn pictures as a "joke".
I've been thinking about this a lot today because it is just SO skeevy. Really. I think my instinctual response would be to tense up on the backrubs and tell her not to touch me. And grabbing my boobs - that would get a physical response without me even thinking about it.
Doesn't it seem to be "grooming"?

No. Tang is an adult with a friend who doesn't understand boundaries.

ed11563 · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
Geez Ed. It's a horny chick that swings.

She's flirting. She needs to be told no.

-- Edited by lilyofcourse on Thursday 16th of July 2015 10:42:41 PM

Good point. Maybe Tang didn't make herself clear because she didn't want to be rude.