Mother-of-four who needed IVF to conceive three of her children reveals why she chose to abort a 'natural' pregnancy - after struggling with infertility issues for years

• Due to infertility issues, Hannah Stein, from Minnesota, had to use IVF to conceive three of her four children with her husband, Patrick
• Once their family was complete, Hannah - who thought she couldn't get pregnant naturally - learned she was expecting
• The couple decided to terminate the pregnancy and say they don't regret the decision

By Carly Stern For Dailymail.com

Published: 13:45 EST, 31 July 2015 | Updated: 16:15 EST, 31 July 2015

One Minnesota woman who was forced to turn to IVF to expand her family never expected to get pregnant naturally - and when she surprisingly did, she chose to have an abortion.

Hannah Stein was already a mother of four with her husband of 17 years, Patrick, when the unplanned pregnancy caught them off guard. 

The couple had undergone several rounds of IVF to conceive three of their children, and finally felt like their family was complete - so they terminated the pregnancy. Now, Hannah has opened up to Cosmopolitan.com to explain why the decision was right for them. 

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Big decision: Hannah Stein (pictured) had needed IVF to conceive three of her four children - but when she found herself pregnant naturally, she decided to get an abortion

The idea of abortion was never off-limits for Hannah - in fact, she'd had one before, at the age of 22. At the time, she was a recent college graduate, engaged to Patrick, and living in Rochester, New York. Unprepared for having children, it wasn't until she was seven weeks along - and found herself buying a strange combination of food that involved pickles and peanut butter - that she even realized that she might be pregnant.

When a test confirmed her suspicions, she knew right away that she wanted to terminate.  

'I felt too young, and there were too many other things I wanted to do first,' she said. 'I did not feel settled enough in my life to start having children.'

She went through with the procedure, and in May of the following year she and Patrick were married; Hannah actually thinks that having the abortion actually made them closer, because they had dealt with a stressful situation together and were able to come through it with their relationship intact.

A few years later, they decided they were ready for their first child, and welcomed their son Isaac without difficulty during Hannah's second year of law school. 

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Family planning: The Minnesota resident explained that by then, her family was complete - and she and her husband didn't have the energy to care for a fifth child

'I know there's a lot of discussion from the pro-lifers about how you see this ultrasound, or maybe once you have a baby, you will be hit with lament, guilt, or things will be different, but that's not an experience that I had,' she said, explaining that having a child didn't change her feelings about having her first abortion.

Two years later they were ready to try again - but conceiving was more difficult this time. After several months of trying, she became pregnant and miscarried.

Hannah noted that some people who are against abortion find it hard to wrap their head around the idea that a woman could feel differently about terminating a pregnancy by choice and having a miscarriage. She explained that the hopes and expectations involved in each instance are very different, which is why she mourned her miscarriage but felt no grief over her abortion. And even when she lost the planned pregnancy at eight weeks, she said, she didn't feel like a baby had diedd - but rather that she'd lost an opportunity to have one.

Eventually, the couple turned to IVF. The process of trying to get pregnant, only to find they were unable to, had been 'emotionally traumatic', and Hannah explained that she found in vitro difficult, too. 

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Surprise! After years of infertility, Hannah (pictured with her husband, Patrick, in 2009) never expected to get pregnant naturally

Luckily, it helped her to give birth to her second child, Rafael. Then, two years after that, she and her husband also welcomed twins with the help of IVF - and they felt like their family was complete.

She and Patrick were in agreement that they wouldn't try to have more children - though, after undergoing IVF, they also weren't too worried about accidentally conceiving. Hannah had dealt with infertility for seven years, which is why it came as such a big surprise when she got pregnant again, this time naturally.

'It was one of those things where we have a similar sense of humor and it was so Murphy's Law, we just had to laugh about it,' she said. 'After all that trouble and all that time, to get pregnant by accident, undesired, it was funny. To us anyway.'

But with four kids - including two one-year-olds - the idea of their family getting even bigger was 'terrifying'. They were both working as well, and had no energy left to care for more kids.

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Their choice: The couple's youngest children, twins, were born in 2011 - and they have yet to regret later getting an abortion

So Hannah underwent a surgical abortion. She admitted that she wondered at the time whether she might come to regret it and want another child some day - but so far, she hasn't.

She does, however, recognize that some people will have trouble understanding her decision to abort after wanted and struggling to have kids for so long. She explained her feelings with an analogy: It's like wanting a Snickers bar in the morning, eating three, and then being presented with yet another Snickers bar that you no longer want. Someone might ask: If she wanted a Snickers bar so bad in the first place, how could she still not want one? Well, she explained, she was in a different place then - now she'd had three Snickers bars, and that was enough.

'When you're in the zone of infertility and you really want a baby, it is a physical thing, in large part,' she went on, comparing the desire to have children to being 'super hungry'. But, she added: 'That was gone at this point. I had all these children and I was no longer in that zone of needing or wanting more children.'

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3181270/Mother-four-needed-IVF-conceive-three-children-reveals-chose-abort-natural-pregnancy-struggling-infertility-issues-years.html#ixzz3hZ00VdmB
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