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huskerbb


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Once you have a child, it's no longer just about you and what you want.
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Maryland boy beaten over cake died from head injuries: coroner

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WASHINGTON (Reuters) - A coroner has concluded that a 9-year-old Maryland boy who was fatally beaten over a missing piece of birthday cake died from head injuries, a spokeswoman for the agency said on Tuesday.

The death of the boy, Jack Garcia, was a homicide, the spokeswoman for the District of Columbia's Office of the Chief Medical Examiner said.

Prosecutors allege that Jack was handcuffed and beaten by his mother's boyfriend, Robert Wilson, for eating a piece of birthday cake without permission on June 30 in Hagerstown, Maryland, about 50 miles (80 km) northwest of Washington.

Jack died in a Washington hospital on July 5. Wilson has been charged in Washington County, Maryland, with second-degree murder, child abuse and other counts.

Jack's mother, Oriana Garcia, and his uncle, Jacob Barajas, face similar charges.

Police say Garcia did not allow emergency responders to provide medical treatment to her son after knowing he was beaten.



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huskerbb


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That child never should have been exposed to that guy--let alone been in the same household.

Sure, there are SOME biological fathers that do terrible things to their kids. Conversely, there are SOME stepfathers who do a great job.

However, the facts are facts. Children are on the order of 48 times more likely to be physically or sexually abused if there is an unrelated adult male living in the household.

Yes, it's the man who beat the kid--but the mother, and a LOT of mothers out there, have to be smarter and more careful about who they bring around their children.

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chef


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Wow! It's cake. Build a bridge and get over it. Absolutely no reason to murder a child over it.

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Tangerine


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This wasn't really about cake. The abuser always comes up with some reason to hurt others.
This man just used this child as an outlet for all his anger. So sad.

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Actually non biological males , usually the BF are one of the greatest dangers to a child.

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Tinydancer


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I just threw up! I don't swear often but F***************** this guy and all those like him. Fortunately there are so many more who are not. My apologies to the real men out there!

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Lindley


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Tangerine wrote:

This wasn't really about cake. The abuser always comes up with some reason to hurt others.
This man just used this child as an outlet for all his anger. So sad.

 I agree.  My opinion  is the mother  is just as guilty  as her "boyfriend ". She wouldn't let rescue  help him because she was trying  to protect that piece of crap.  Poor  little  boy deserved better may he rest in piece.



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Nobody Just Nobody


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I know I'll be unpopular for saying this but it's not that non bio men are more dangerous. It's that the women that choose these men are 99.9% at fault. They are usually clingy, codependent women looking for someone to take care of them so they can go live their life the way they choose. If these women didn't allow these men in their home they'd probably just end up abusing the kids themselves. Or neglecting them.

I know what the stats say and you can easily become a stat. Or you can make better choices. I've known many many many good non bio fathers and mothers.

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huskerbb


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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

I know I'll be unpopular for saying this but it's not that non bio men are more dangerous. It's that the women that choose these men are 99.9% at fault. They are usually clingy, codependent women looking for someone to take care of them so they can go live their life the way they choose. If these women didn't allow these men in their home they'd probably just end up abusing the kids themselves. Or neglecting them.

I know what the stats say and you can easily become a stat. Or you can make better choices. I've known many many many good non bio fathers and mothers.

But on average--they are more dangerous.  Sure, you can pick ones who aren't, and many do--but on average, more of them are going to be more dangerous to children that are not their own.   



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Nobody Just Nobody


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huskerbb wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

I know I'll be unpopular for saying this but it's not that non bio men are more dangerous. It's that the women that choose these men are 99.9% at fault. They are usually clingy, codependent women looking for someone to take care of them so they can go live their life the way they choose. If these women didn't allow these men in their home they'd probably just end up abusing the kids themselves. Or neglecting them.

I know what the stats say and you can easily become a stat. Or you can make better choices. I've known many many many good non bio fathers and mothers.

But on average--they are more dangerous.  Sure, you can pick ones who aren't, and many do--but on average, more of them are going to be more dangerous to children that are not their own.   

 And why is that?  Could it be that divorced women (or men) that are already divorced are already prone to making bad mate choices?  I get so tired of hearing these "stats".  With every article I see they are usually from a lower socioeconomic status, low education, a lot of them use drugs, and so many other things.  I rarely see an upper class family beating their kid over cake.  Does it happen?  Sure.  But not nearly as often as in the other groups.  I just have to think there are other factors at play.



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huskerbb


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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

I know I'll be unpopular for saying this but it's not that non bio men are more dangerous. It's that the women that choose these men are 99.9% at fault. They are usually clingy, codependent women looking for someone to take care of them so they can go live their life the way they choose. If these women didn't allow these men in their home they'd probably just end up abusing the kids themselves. Or neglecting them.

I know what the stats say and you can easily become a stat. Or you can make better choices. I've known many many many good non bio fathers and mothers.

But on average--they are more dangerous.  Sure, you can pick ones who aren't, and many do--but on average, more of them are going to be more dangerous to children that are not their own.   

 And why is that?  Could it be that divorced women (or men) that are already divorced are already prone to making bad mate choices?  I get so tired of hearing these "stats".  With every article I see they are usually from a lower socioeconomic status, low education, a lot of them use drugs, and so many other things.  I rarely see an upper class family beating their kid over cake.  Does it happen?  Sure.  But not nearly as often as in the other groups.  I just have to think there are other factors at play.

They probably are prone to making bad mate choices.  No argument there.   



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And if you look at them the majority of them either the mother or the person she is living with is abusing drugs, has a history of violence, or something like that. Common sense says you wouldn't bring that kind of person home.

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lilyofcourse


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And this kind of thing is why I made the concious decision NOT to date. At all. I brought no one into my kids world that could possilbly get that close to them to hurt them.

I've been asked, "don't you get lonely?" Sometimes.
"Don't you miss the intimacy of a relationship? " Sometimes.

And heard the "you're kids won't be happy if you're not".

But it isn't about me. I can get over a lonely moment or get passed being horny. And I don't need a man to be content.

My kids needed me fully present. I choose them.



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NAOW


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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

And if you look at them the majority of them either the mother or the person she is living with is abusing drugs, has a history of violence, or something like that. Common sense says you wouldn't bring that kind of person home.

 And definitely don't let them babysit.



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NAOW wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

And if you look at them the majority of them either the mother or the person she is living with is abusing drugs, has a history of violence, or something like that. Common sense says you wouldn't bring that kind of person home.

 And definitely don't let them babysit.

 Exactly.  Letting the pusher across the street watch them while you make a beer run is just not acceptable.

People can, and do, date and remarry all the time.  I'm glad that I waited for the right person to come along.  He's a great father to my kids.  I think it's a sad commentary on life that we've now decided all men are evil to little kids.  Ridiculous.  You CAN have a relationship and kids.  It's not an either or.  Just use your god given brain.



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FNW


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If something were to happen to Mr. FNW, I doubt I would date again, for this very reason. At least not until they are grown. Before meeting Mr. FNW, I made some bad choices. I don't want to make them again and have them affect my children.

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Two of my ex b/f's I am very close to. They came to my wedding. My kids still talk to them. I never lived with anyone outside of marriage, well except my now DH but we were getting ready to be married, and never left my kids with "just anyone".

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msrock


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I'm living with someone outside of marriage going on over 10 years now. I don't know what difference a marriage makes. Some people get married after dating for 2 months.

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Lawyerlady


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msrock wrote:

I'm living with someone outside of marriage going on over 10 years now. I don't know what difference a marriage makes. Some people get married after dating for 2 months.

Do you have young children at home? 

 

The point was really about having non-bio males in the house - married or no.



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msrock


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Lawyerlady wrote:
msrock wrote:

I'm living with someone outside of marriage going on over 10 years now. I don't know what difference a marriage makes. Some people get married after dating for 2 months.

Do you have young children at home? 

 

The point was really about having non-bio males in the house - married or no.

My youngest is 16 now so he was approx. 6 at the time. 

Do you think if I would have got married after dating for a few months it would have made any difference? 

 

eta:  just saw the 2nd part of your post so disregard my question.



-- Edited by msrock on Wednesday 5th of August 2015 02:28:49 PM

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Nobody Just Nobody


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I got married after three months. My husband has never laid a hand on any of my kids. He is the best father they have ever had. Why do you think I waited so long to get married? I didn't want to marry a douche bag.

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huskerbb


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No one ever said that EVERY live-in boyfriend with no biological relationship to the children is going to harm them, or even that it is the majority--but the FACT is that it happens with alarming frequency.

It's great that it worked out for you and your kids. This isn't a personal indictment despite how personally you seem to be taking it.

The point is that it sure as hell didn't work out for this kid and MANY others in similar situations.

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Yes, but the common theme whenever there is a case like this seems to be that there are several factors. Low income, drug use, sometimes they already have a criminal history, and many others. I don't think it's about living with or marrying someone. I think it's about poor choices in general. These are usually people who have made poor choices repeatedly. I'm not sure that if they remained single THEY wouldn't end up abusing their own kids. Or, at the very least, neglecting them entirely. These people aren't caring parents to start with. Living with someone did not make them that way.

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huskerbb


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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

Yes, but the common theme whenever there is a case like this seems to be that there are several factors. Low income, drug use, sometimes they already have a criminal history, and many others. I don't think it's about living with or marrying someone. I think it's about poor choices in general. These are usually people who have made poor choices repeatedly. I'm not sure that if they remained single THEY wouldn't end up abusing their own kids. Or, at the very least, neglecting them entirely. These people aren't caring parents to start with. Living with someone did not make them that way.

But kids have biological fathers who do those things, also, yet the fact still remains that unrelated adult males living in the household means the kid is more likely to get abused.  Those "other factors" are already accounted for.  



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Quite frankly the men aren't the problem. The women who let them into their lives and give them free reign over their house and kids are.

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Lawyerlady


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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

Quite frankly the men aren't the problem. The women who let them into their lives and give them free reign over their house and kids are.

 They can both be the problem.  But, yes, the mother is the one with the responsibility to keep her kids safe.



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Nobody Just Nobody


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Lawyerlady wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

Quite frankly the men aren't the problem. The women who let them into their lives and give them free reign over their house and kids are.

 They can both be the problem.  But, yes, the mother is the one with the responsibility to keep her kids safe.

 Well yes, of course the men are jerks and criminals.  I didn't mean to sound like that.  Yes they are.  But I put the majority of the blame on the mother who puts her kids in these situations.  You seriously see a come thread running through all these cases. 



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