“You may shoot me with your words, you may cut me with your eyes, you may kill me with your hatefulness, but still, like air, I'll rise!” ― Maya Angelou
“You may shoot me with your words, you may cut me with your eyes, you may kill me with your hatefulness, but still, like air, I'll rise!” ― Maya Angelou
Josh Duggar has admitted being unfaithful to his wife after his name emerged among 37 million Ashley Madison users.
In a new statement the reality star said: 'I have been the biggest hypocrite ever. While espousing faith and family values, I have secretly over the last several years been viewing pornography on the internet and this became a secret addiction and I became unfaithful to my wife.
I am so ashamed of the double life that I have been living and am grieved for the hurt, pain and disgrace my sin has caused my wife and family, and most of all Jesus and all those who profess faith in Him.
I brought hurt and a reproach to my family, close friends and the fans of our show with my actions that happened when I was 14-15 years old, and now I have re-broken their trust.
The last few years, while publicly stating I was fighting against immorality in our country, I was hiding my own personal failings.
As I am learning the hard way, we have the freedom to choose to our actions, but we do not get to choose our consequences. I deeply regret all hurt I have caused so many by being such a bad example.
'I humbly ask for your forgiveness. Please pray for my precious wife Anna and our family during this time.'
It comes after Gawker reported that Josh Duggar allegedly had multiple accounts on Ashley Madison.
The account said that Duggar was allegedly looking for 'conventional sex, experimenting with sex toys, one-night stands, sharing fantasies, sex talk,' and more.
One of the accounts was closed around the same time it was first reported that Josh, 27, had molested four of his siblings as a teenager. The reality star and his family have not yet commented on the report.
The revelation came hours after users of the infidelity site were sent scrambling to control the damage - and save their marriages - after hackers exposed personal data from the controversial seduction forum used by 37 million worldwide.
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America guarantees equal opportunity, not equal outcome...
I think he became unfaithful after viewing porn. Sounds like he had several affairs. This guy sounds like he just wanted out of that crazy environment and was too brainwashed to leave. Like he just wanted to be normal like ohfour said. He actually doesn't sound like a perv. I feel for his wife. You know she's got to be heart broken over this. And she won't leave him. They don't believe in divorce.
As far as lying in the public eye? Well, he just made it into the "normal average every day run of the mill politician/person in the limelight."
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“You may shoot me with your words, you may cut me with your eyes, you may kill me with your hatefulness, but still, like air, I'll rise!” ― Maya Angelou
My two cents? He needs to remove himself from the public eye. Totally. Get into deep counseling with his wife. He needs to stay away from his parents and the rest of the family for the time being, maybe forever. He needs to work on being the head of HIS family. He should stop answering questions and giving interviews. This should be his last statement. Period.
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America guarantees equal opportunity, not equal outcome...
What's really striking to me in all of this is all the people criticizing Josh and calling for his head. They accuse Josh of being holier than thou but are acting holier than thou themselves. I'd really like to see the skeletons in those peoples' closets. I've noticed people expect the Duggars to be perfect just because they're Christian and flip out when imperfection comes to light. I bet none of the people criticizing the Duggars are perfect. I also bet that most, if not all, of the people criticizing the Duggars have been hypocrites at some point in their lives.
I will also say that I bet Jared is very thankful for Josh taking the spotlight off him.
What's really striking to me in all of this is all the people criticizing Josh and calling for his head. They accuse Josh of being holier than thou but are acting holier than thou themselves. I'd really like to see the skeletons in those peoples' closets. I've noticed people expect the Duggars to be perfect just because they're Christian and flip out when imperfection comes to light. I bet none of the people criticizing the Duggars are perfect. I also bet that most, if not all, of the people criticizing the Duggars have been hypocrites at some point in their lives.
I will also say that I bet Jared is very thankful for Josh taking the spotlight off him.
I don't really blame them. It's still new and fresh, they might calm down a bit. When you are in the public eye, you become a role model to people, and it's no secret that lots of people admired this family and looked up to them. We (general) expect people who live off the benefits of being in the public eye to hold up to a certain standard and when they don't.. well, I think people feel cheated and duped. Especially if they were defending Josh and forgave him during the last 'issue,' only to find out he was lying and cheating.
What's really striking to me in all of this is all the people criticizing Josh and calling for his head. They accuse Josh of being holier than thou but are acting holier than thou themselves. I'd really like to see the skeletons in those peoples' closets. I've noticed people expect the Duggars to be perfect just because they're Christian and flip out when imperfection comes to light. I bet none of the people criticizing the Duggars are perfect. I also bet that most, if not all, of the people criticizing the Duggars have been hypocrites at some point in their lives.
I will also say that I bet Jared is very thankful for Josh taking the spotlight off him.
I don't really blame them. It's still new and fresh, they might calm down a bit. When you are in the public eye, you become a role model to people, and it's no secret that lots of people admired this family and looked up to them. We (general) expect people who live off the benefits of being in the public eye to hold up to a certain standard and when they don't.. well, I think people feel cheated and duped. Especially if they were defending Josh and forgave him during the last 'issue,' only to find out he was lying and cheating.
That's going to be a big thing.
But, I'll tell you this - I'm really tired of the blaming of his parents because of his strict upbringing. Everyone brings up their children the way they fell is best. It was different when he was a child, and all that happened then. But he's an adult now - a married man. These are his choices and he is the only one responsible for them.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
What's really striking to me in all of this is all the people criticizing Josh and calling for his head. They accuse Josh of being holier than thou but are acting holier than thou themselves. I'd really like to see the skeletons in those peoples' closets. I've noticed people expect the Duggars to be perfect just because they're Christian and flip out when imperfection comes to light. I bet none of the people criticizing the Duggars are perfect. I also bet that most, if not all, of the people criticizing the Duggars have been hypocrites at some point in their lives.
I will also say that I bet Jared is very thankful for Josh taking the spotlight off him.
I agree with all of this. There is only one who should be judging and it's not any of us. Everybody has something in their life that they're not proud of but the whole world doesn't know or care because we're not in the spotlight.
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“Until I discovered cooking, I was never really interested in anything.” ― Julia Child ―
What's really striking to me in all of this is all the people criticizing Josh and calling for his head. They accuse Josh of being holier than thou but are acting holier than thou themselves. I'd really like to see the skeletons in those peoples' closets. I've noticed people expect the Duggars to be perfect just because they're Christian and flip out when imperfection comes to light. I bet none of the people criticizing the Duggars are perfect. I also bet that most, if not all, of the people criticizing the Duggars have been hypocrites at some point in their lives.
I will also say that I bet Jared is very thankful for Josh taking the spotlight off him.
I don't really blame them. It's still new and fresh, they might calm down a bit. When you are in the public eye, you become a role model to people, and it's no secret that lots of people admired this family and looked up to them. We (general) expect people who live off the benefits of being in the public eye to hold up to a certain standard and when they don't.. well, I think people feel cheated and duped. Especially if they were defending Josh and forgave him during the last 'issue,' only to find out he was lying and cheating.
I don't think being in the public eye automatically makes you a role model nor should it. I wouldn't call the Kardashians role models, for example. Nor a lot of reality tv stars. I do see what you're saying though but I think people have higher standards for anyone who identifies as Christian without realizing (sometimes through deliberate ignorance) that Christian doesn't equal perfect.
I admire the Duggars for a lot of what they teach. They (like all parents) cannot control what their kids do once they're adults.
Ok I logged in just for this. I knew eventually one of them would not follow their families set standards, but I really expected one of the girls to be a stripper or something. Kind of shocked about the crazy cheating scandal as well. But I can't stop reading it!
What's really striking to me in all of this is all the people criticizing Josh and calling for his head. They accuse Josh of being holier than thou but are acting holier than thou themselves. I'd really like to see the skeletons in those peoples' closets. I've noticed people expect the Duggars to be perfect just because they're Christian and flip out when imperfection comes to light. I bet none of the people criticizing the Duggars are perfect. I also bet that most, if not all, of the people criticizing the Duggars have been hypocrites at some point in their lives.
I will also say that I bet Jared is very thankful for Josh taking the spotlight off him.
I agree with all of this. There is only one who should be judging and it's not any of us. Everybody has something in their life that they're not proud of but the whole world doesn't know or care because we're not in the spotlight.
I think that people have the right to be disappointed and angry. He lied to everyone. That's very disheartening.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
I think he became unfaithful after viewing porn. Sounds like he had several affairs. This guy sounds like he just wanted out of that crazy environment and was too brainwashed to leave. Like he just wanted to be normal like ohfour said. He actually doesn't sound like a perv. I feel for his wife. You know she's got to be heart broken over this. And she won't leave him. They don't believe in divorce.
As far as lying in the public eye? Well, he just made it into the "normal average every day run of the mill politician/person in the limelight."
The last few years, while publicly stating I was fighting against immorality in our country, I was hiding my own personal failings.
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That is what my circle of friends/family are reacting to. It somehow feels like "do as I say, not as I do" and honestly, who can respect that? It's disingenuous to think he doesn't have some responsibility to the Christian faith as he has marketed himself as being of superior moral character. It is disappointing and indefensible.
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Be careful about how you act toward others, you may be the only Bible people read.
The last few years, while publicly stating I was fighting against immorality in our country, I was hiding my own personal failings. ------------------------------
That is what my circle of friends/family are reacting to. It somehow feels like "do as I say, not as I do" and honestly, who can respect that? It's disingenuous to think he doesn't have some responsibility to the Christian faith as he has marketed himself as being of superior moral character. It is disappointing and indefensible.
This somewhat reminds me of my sister's first husband. He was the ultimate husband and father. Worked hard so she could stay home with the kids. I was always SO jealous of their relationship....
Until one night, he started wetting the bed and having violent nightmares. I mean violent. She had to leave a few times, yet he said he didn't remember a thing. He went for a sleep study and lo and behold, he was still in REM sleep with the violent outbursts occurred.
Come to find out his older brother had molested him for years. He had suppressed the memories and they were coming out in his dreams. He was in counseling for a while, but turned to pills to help him cope with what had been done to him from the time he was a toddler until he was a pre-teen...he's a shell of the man he used to be...
The kicker? His parents KNEW about the abuse. But felt that they could pray it away. They actually TESTED the older brother by leaving him alone with exBIL. Sometimes he didn't molest, sometimes he did. They felt that that showed he WAS trying to restrain himself. They had the church elders pray over him. There were so many people that knew what was going on and yet, neither child got the treatment he needed. Needless to say, sis has cut off all ties with the family.
__________________
America guarantees equal opportunity, not equal outcome...
This somewhat reminds me of my sister's first husband. He was the ultimate husband and father. Worked hard so she could stay home with the kids. I was always SO jealous of their relationship....
Until one night, he started wetting the bed and having violent nightmares. I mean violent. She had to leave a few times, yet he said he didn't remember a thing. He went for a sleep study and lo and behold, he was still in REM sleep with the violent outbursts occurred.
Come to find out his older brother had molested him for years. He had suppressed the memories and they were coming out in his dreams. He was in counseling for a while, but turned to pills to help him cope with what had been done to him from the time he was a toddler until he was a pre-teen...he's a shell of the man he used to be...
The kicker? His parents KNEW about the abuse. But felt that they could pray it away. They actually TESTED the older brother by leaving him alone with exBIL. Sometimes he didn't molest, sometimes he did. They felt that that showed he WAS trying to restrain himself. They had the church elders pray over him. There were so many people that knew what was going on and yet, neither child got the treatment he needed. Needless to say, sis has cut off all ties with the family.
Ok I logged in just for this. I knew eventually one of them would not follow their families set standards, but I really expected one of the girls to be a stripper or something. Kind of shocked about the crazy cheating scandal as well. But I can't stop reading it!
Bonny! I'm glad to see you pop in :) Your little man is growing so fast!
I'm not sure how many of the Duggar have strictly adhered to the family standards.
Why aren't parenting classes mandatory? Although I would like to believe most people intuitively know that allowing your son to molest his brother is wrong. I've been known to under estimate human stupidity though.
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Be careful about how you act toward others, you may be the only Bible people read.
Why aren't parenting classes mandatory? Although I would like to believe most people intuitively know that allowing your son to molest his brother is wrong. I've been known to under estimate human stupidity though.
Not everyone agrees on parenting style so I doubt parenting classes would work.
He molested his sisters, not brother, and his parents (and him) have already said it was wrong. I'm still proud of Josh for owning his actions and saying they were wrong rather than justifying it somehow.
Why aren't parenting classes mandatory? Although I would like to believe most people intuitively know that allowing your son to molest his brother is wrong. I've been known to under estimate human stupidity though.
Why aren't parenting classes mandatory? Although I would like to believe most people intuitively know that allowing your son to molest his brother is wrong. I've been known to under estimate human stupidity though.
Not everyone agrees on parenting style so I doubt parenting classes would work.
He molested his sisters, not brother, and his parents (and him) have already said it was wrong. I'm still proud of Josh for owning his actions and saying they were wrong rather than justifying it somehow.
I know that. I was responding to ohfour and his/her story.
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Be careful about how you act toward others, you may be the only Bible people read.
There are universally accepted parenting rules. Don't throw your baby, don't leave baby in car, feed baby regularly and age appropriate food, don't leave baby alone, don't drown baby, don't put baby in closets, don't drink and drive with baby, and don't molest or allow siblings to molest baby. I'm sure we could come up with a standard agreed upon curriculum.
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Be careful about how you act toward others, you may be the only Bible people read.
I don't blame is parents. They raised them with the beliefs they felt were the right ones for them. I just think Josh is struggling to break free of their values and yet feels a lot of guilt because those values are so ingrained in him. I hope that makes sense.
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“You may shoot me with your words, you may cut me with your eyes, you may kill me with your hatefulness, but still, like air, I'll rise!” ― Maya Angelou
Makes total sense. I blame them for his actions as a youth. The denied him a normal life. But once he became an adult, his actions are his to own. He cheated. But thats not as horrible as molesting your sisters. They could have gotten him help. But because of their beliefs, others have suffered. I say this knowing that I used to like them. My opinion has changed.
__________________
America guarantees equal opportunity, not equal outcome...
There are universally accepted parenting rules. Don't throw your baby, don't leave baby in car, feed baby regularly and age appropriate food, don't leave baby alone, don't drown baby, don't put baby in closets, don't drink and drive with baby, and don't molest or allow siblings to molest baby. I'm sure we could come up with a standard agreed upon curriculum.
Actually, the bolded isn't universal. One would think it is but experience in mommy groups has taught me otherwise. I also learned that recommendations (notably, re baby cereals) have changed in recent years.
There are also cultural norms and such to take into account. Parenting classes are a good but a standard curriculum would be hard to come by.
But, I'll tell you this - I'm really tired of the blaming of his parents because of his strict upbringing. Everyone brings up their children the way they fell is best. It was different when he was a child, and all that happened then. But he's an adult now - a married man. These are his choices and he is the only one responsible for them.
- Lawyerlady
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I agree with this. He's an adult now. He's the one responsible for his actions.
He edited his statement, it looks like he took out mention of porn and references to the molestation:
I have been the biggest hypocrite ever. While espousing faith and family values, I have been unfaithful to my wife.
I am so ashamed of the double life that I have been living and am grieved for the hurt, pain and disgrace my sin has caused my wife and family, and most of all Jesus and all those who profess faith in Him.
I have brought hurt and a reproach to my family, close friends and the fans of our show with my actions.
The last few years, while publicly stating I was fighting against immorality in our country I was hiding my own personal failures.
As I am learning the hard way, we have the freedom to choose our actions, but we do not get to choose our consequences. I deeply regret all the hurt I have caused so many by being such a bad example.
I humbly ask for your forgiveness. Please pray for my precious wife Anna and our family during this time.
Would love to be a fly one the wall in that house.
__________________
“You may shoot me with your words, you may cut me with your eyes, you may kill me with your hatefulness, but still, like air, I'll rise!” ― Maya Angelou
Why is everyone's personal business the business of the public? the person he needs to apologize to his his wife. The public demands an apology and then even when they get one then it is not good enough or too little too late or insincere , etc.
As for Ashley Madison do you not find it disturbing that supposedly private personal info has been hacked?
As for cheaters , dont a lot of men look at other women in their minds? And i would bet a lot of men joined this to just surf around and look at pics of supposedly available women. Of which we now find out that 95% of the members were men so how much hooking up was there really?
Are they going to hack Grinder or the Tinder?
I suspect there would be a different kind of outrage had those been hacked.
Why is everyone's personal business the business of the public? the person he needs to apologize to his his wife. The public demands an apology and then even when they get one then it is not good enough or too little too late or insincere , etc. As for Ashley Madison do you not find it disturbing that supposedly private personal info has been hacked? As for cheaters , dont a lot of men look at other women in their minds? And i would bet a lot of men joined this to just surf around and look at pics of supposedly available women. Of which we now find out that 95% of the members were men so how much hooking up was there really?
Are they going to hack Grinder or the Tinder? I suspect there would be a different kind of outrage had those been hacked.
Well, for one thing - he's a public figure. As a kid, that was his parents' choice. As an adult, it was his. He also worked for a foundation to push Christian family values, and had a duty to that foundation to live what he was preaching. As basically a pastor - he is held to a higher standard and he had a duty to Christians to try to live a life that follows God, and if he didn't, other Christians have the right to call him out for it because it makes Christianity look bad. For another, he lied to everyone, including the public.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
The failings of men don't make Christianity look bad. I think the proper response of the Churched isn't to join the dog pile. But to take him aside and help him see the need for repentence and help him live a godly life and help him restore his relationship with his wife to the extent that she is willing.
The failings of men don't make Christianity look bad. I think the proper response of the Churched isn't to join the dog pile. But to take him aside and help him see the need for repentence and help him live a godly life and help him restore his relationship with his wife to the extent that she is willing.
If he doesn't want public recrimination for his lying - he shouldn't lie to everyone. If he doesn't want public recrimination for adultery, perhaps registering on a website for adulterous relationships is a bad choice - once it is on the internet, it is there forever. It is HIS actions that have led to this. He walked in the public eye, taking advantage of his fame, all the while attempting to have a secret life. His marriage was made public, and now the public feels very sorry for his poor wife. She is the only one that gets my sympathy - and people are allowed to feel that for her and be pissed off at the jerk husband who betrayed her.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
Well I agree he should step out of the spotlight. He needs to just disappear and work to become a better person. Should he be scolded by his wife ? Of course. But what should the response of the Church be? People are fleeing the Church in droves because they don't see the forgiveness and mercy of Christ. One misstep and the rest of us Perfect Christians are kicking your arse to the curb. You will never be forgiven nor ever move on.
Yes what he did was lousy. He behaved terribly. He needs to stop it and apilogize to his wife and he needs to work hard to become the person he should be.
Well I agree he should step out of the spotlight. He needs to just disappear and work to become a better person. Should he be scolded by his wife ? Of course. But what should the response of the Church be? People are fleeing the Church in droves because they don't see the forgiveness and mercy of Christ. One misstep and the rest of us Perfect Christians are kicking your arse to the curb. You will never be forgiven nor ever move on. Yes what he did was lousy. He behaved terribly. He needs to stop it and apilogize to his wife and he needs to work hard to become the person he should be.
Yes, he most certainly does. And I really hope that if he has any more skeletens in his closet, his tells his wife about those before they are made public, too.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
Why is everyone's personal business the business of the public? the person he needs to apologize to his his wife. The public demands an apology and then even when they get one then it is not good enough or too little too late or insincere , etc. As for Ashley Madison do you not find it disturbing that supposedly private personal info has been hacked? As for cheaters , dont a lot of men look at other women in their minds? And i would bet a lot of men joined this to just surf around and look at pics of supposedly available women. Of which we now find out that 95% of the members were men so how much hooking up was there really?
Are they going to hack Grinder or the Tinder? I suspect there would be a different kind of outrage had those been hacked.
Well, for one thing - he's a public figure. As a kid, that was his parents' choice. As an adult, it was his. He also worked for a foundation to push Christian family values, and had a duty to that foundation to live what he was preaching. As basically a pastor - he is held to a higher standard and he had a duty to Christians to try to live a life that follows God, and if he didn't, other Christians have the right to call him out for it because it makes Christianity look bad. For another, he lied to everyone, including the public.
There are universally accepted parenting rules. Don't throw your baby, don't leave baby in car, feed baby regularly and age appropriate food, don't leave baby alone, don't drown baby, don't put baby in closets, don't drink and drive with baby, and don't molest or allow siblings to molest baby. I'm sure we could come up with a standard agreed upon curriculum.
Actually, the bolded isn't universal. One would think it is but experience in mommy groups has taught me otherwise. I also learned that recommendations (notably, re baby cereals) have changed in recent years.
There are also cultural norms and such to take into account. Parenting classes are a good but a standard curriculum would be hard to come by.
Parenting classes are based upon the current Academy of Pediatrics Recommendations. They generally don't take into consideration cultural stuff.