TOTALLY GEEKED!

And where were the parent's that left a 10 year old in charge of all of these children? They don't mention that in the article. Where were they?

I'm about to be a grandma myself, and I would be livid if my daughter left her 5 week old with a 10 year old.

-- Edited by msrock on Friday 21st of August 2015 01:55:50 PM

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

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I don't care who has done what with whatever outcome. I am not leaving my infant, if I had one, with a young child to care for them no matter how "mature" they may be.

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 Define "young".  Not everyone agrees on what that age is.  You might say 14 or whatever And some would probably say that is well old enough, some might say it's still too young.

huskerbb wrote:

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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

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I don't care who has done what with whatever outcome. I am not leaving my infant, if I had one, with a young child to care for them no matter how "mature" they may be.

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 Define "young".  Not everyone agrees on what that age is.  You might say 14 or whatever And some would probably say that is well old enough, some might say it's still too young.

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A young child is not a teenager.  

I would leave my infant with a 14 year old under a few conditions. She wouldn't be watching other kids and she would have to have had some experience with infants. Even first time moms can panic when a newborn does something completely normal. So yes, I would want someone to have experience. You can call me a helicopter parent. I am not. But when it comes to the life of my child I only have that one chance. If I lose a child I cannot simply go replace him/her.

msrock wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

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I don't care who has done what with whatever outcome. I am not leaving my infant, if I had one, with a young child to care for them no matter how "mature" they may be.

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 Define "young".  Not everyone agrees on what that age is.  You might say 14 or whatever And some would probably say that is well old enough, some might say it's still too young.

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A young child is not a teenager.  

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 But a teenager is still young.  

I just think that reasonable people can disagree here.

Most would agree a 7 year old is way too young, a teenager is probably old enough. I think there is a grey area in the 9-12 range.

Again, I'm more worried about the age of the baby here. A five week old just isn't the same level or type of care a 5 month old is. At 5 or six months, they can start holding their own bottle. Freak allergies and illnesses have usually shown up by then. They can normally roll over if they are uncomfortable.

Number of kids in their care makes a difference, too. A ten year old watching a 7 and an 8 year old for a few hours, or even one infant, is a lot different than one infant and three toddlers.

 

ETA:  I'm not saying NJN or whoever is wrong in not wanting to leave a baby with a 10 year old.  I'm also not saying the adults in the situation were right.  I'm not, however, willing to say that leaving other children in the care of a 10 year old is always wrong or is always the terrible thing it is made out to be here.

-- Edited by huskerbb on Friday 21st of August 2015 01:53:36 PM

Lawyerlady wrote:

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just Czech wrote:

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I'm pretty sure I've shared this story before, but, I was 11 years old when the neighbor lady hired me to babysit her 4 children. Ages where 5, 3, 2 and 3 days old at the time. I stayed with them for 3 days and nights.
My mom was down the road a half mile. Yes, there was a phone.
I did just fine with all those kids. And the 3 day old!
I WAS 11 years old!!!
Some kids are more mature than others. I was mature for my age. IMHO, this 10 year old is also mature for her age. I highly doubt this was the first time she was left alone with all the little ones as well.
When you give your children responsibilities, they become responsible individuals. I'm not saying this is true for all kids, but in general I think it is.
I think what generation it is, is irrelevant. Some parents are just better at raising responsible kids instead of helicoptering. My parents would be referred to as "free range parents" now days.

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 It's very good you were responsible and nothing bad happened.  But I think your neighbor lady was nuts. 

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 I'd have to agree.  I didn't leave my three day old baby with anyone.

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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just Czech wrote:

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I'm pretty sure I've shared this story before, but, I was 11 years old when the neighbor lady hired me to babysit her 4 children. Ages where 5, 3, 2 and 3 days old at the time. I stayed with them for 3 days and nights.
My mom was down the road a half mile. Yes, there was a phone.
I did just fine with all those kids. And the 3 day old!
I WAS 11 years old!!!
Some kids are more mature than others. I was mature for my age. IMHO, this 10 year old is also mature for her age. I highly doubt this was the first time she was left alone with all the little ones as well.
When you give your children responsibilities, they become responsible individuals. I'm not saying this is true for all kids, but in general I think it is.
I think what generation it is, is irrelevant. Some parents are just better at raising responsible kids instead of helicoptering. My parents would be referred to as "free range parents" now days.

---

 It's very good you were responsible and nothing bad happened.  But I think your neighbor lady was nuts. 

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 I'd have to agree.  I didn't leave my three day old baby with anyone.

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The mother was very confident in the care I would be giving her children, even the 3 day old. It was her decision, not yours. 

just Czech wrote:

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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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just Czech wrote:

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I'm pretty sure I've shared this story before, but, I was 11 years old when the neighbor lady hired me to babysit her 4 children. Ages where 5, 3, 2 and 3 days old at the time. I stayed with them for 3 days and nights.
My mom was down the road a half mile. Yes, there was a phone.
I did just fine with all those kids. And the 3 day old!
I WAS 11 years old!!!
Some kids are more mature than others. I was mature for my age. IMHO, this 10 year old is also mature for her age. I highly doubt this was the first time she was left alone with all the little ones as well.
When you give your children responsibilities, they become responsible individuals. I'm not saying this is true for all kids, but in general I think it is.
I think what generation it is, is irrelevant. Some parents are just better at raising responsible kids instead of helicoptering. My parents would be referred to as "free range parents" now days.

---

 It's very good you were responsible and nothing bad happened.  But I think your neighbor lady was nuts. 

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 I'd have to agree.  I didn't leave my three day old baby with anyone.

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The mother was very confident in the care I would be giving her children, even the 3 day old. It was her decision, not yours. 

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 There is not any reason in the world that would make me trust the judgment of a parent that left her 3 day old child with an 11 year old.  What kind of mother leaves their 3 day old child with anyone outside of serious emergencies - let alone a young girl also caring for 3 other children?  I don't care how responsible or trustworthy you were. 

Nit picking aside, statistically, a percentage of first time mothers would also be an oldest sibling so I must take exception to your opinion that you and your granddaughter have/had more experience than most first time moms. I could agree to some, but most invalidates your argument.

I commend you for being responsible enough to care for a 3 day old. I don't know any 11 year olds trustworthy or confident enough to take that responsibility.

just Czech wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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just Czech wrote:

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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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just Czech wrote:

---

I'm pretty sure I've shared this story before, but, I was 11 years old when the neighbor lady hired me to babysit her 4 children. Ages where 5, 3, 2 and 3 days old at the time. I stayed with them for 3 days and nights.
My mom was down the road a half mile. Yes, there was a phone.
I did just fine with all those kids. And the 3 day old!
I WAS 11 years old!!!
Some kids are more mature than others. I was mature for my age. IMHO, this 10 year old is also mature for her age. I highly doubt this was the first time she was left alone with all the little ones as well.
When you give your children responsibilities, they become responsible individuals. I'm not saying this is true for all kids, but in general I think it is.
I think what generation it is, is irrelevant. Some parents are just better at raising responsible kids instead of helicoptering. My parents would be referred to as "free range parents" now days.

---

 It's very good you were responsible and nothing bad happened.  But I think your neighbor lady was nuts. 

---

 I'd have to agree.  I didn't leave my three day old baby with anyone.

---

The mother was very confident in the care I would be giving her children, even the 3 day old. It was her decision, not yours. 

---

 There is not any reason in the world that would make me trust the judgment of a parent that left her 3 day old child with an 11 year old.  What kind of mother leaves their 3 day old child with anyone outside of serious emergencies - let alone a young girl also caring for 3 other children?  I don't care how responsible or trustworthy you were. 

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Someone who knows and trusts the 11 year old.

You may not be able to trust an 11 year old, and that is your right, but please, do not make that choice for someone who does trust an 11 year old.

I am the oldest of five, so by the time I was 11, I already had more experience with newborns then most first time mothers. My 11 year old granddaughter has more experience with newborns then most first time mothers. It happens. And, IMHO, there is nothing wrong with it.

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 What kind of mother leaves her 3 day old baby for 3 days with another child?  That's criminal, IMO.

Czech - this is not anything against you. You could have been the most reliable, dependable, perfect 11 year old babysitter on the planet, and I would still think a mother that left her 3 day old child with you for 3 days was a nutcase.

NAOW wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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Czech - this is not anything against you. You could have been the most reliable, dependable, perfect 11 year old babysitter on the planet, and I would still think a mother that left her 3 day old child with you for 3 days was a nutcase.

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 I agree. Czech, I adore you and have no doubt you were a mature and responsible child, but frankly, I would question a mother leaving her newborn for 3 days with anyone (even a professional caregiver) outside of a very serious emergency, but especially a child. If your baby is brand new, why on earth would you want to leave it's side for any length of time? (<-that was a general you/your)

-- Edited by NAOW on Friday 21st of August 2015 04:05:06 PM

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It may be hard for people (in general) to understand the level of trust between close friends and family. Our neighbors trusted their neighbors and their children. We had responsibilities at a very young age. It was normal for us and for everyone else in our area. We did not rely on the outside world for anything. Heck, I could bake bread from scratch, butcher a chicken and wash clothes with a wringer washing machine by the age of 10.

The rest of the world (at the age of 10, in general) was still playing with dolls. We were acting and behaving like adults.

If you treat a 10 year old like a baby, then the 10 year old WILL be a baby.

I know I grew up in a different world compared to most here. Self reliance was taught very early and it was practiced. IMHO, that is now a lost skill in parenting.

Our neighbor, who left me with all her kids and a newborn, was a very independent person. If she wanted to go, she went. 

I will also point out that Nebraska requires you to be licensed to care for 4 or more children under the age of 13 at a time.

Lawyerlady wrote:

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just Czech wrote:

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NAOW wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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Czech - this is not anything against you. You could have been the most reliable, dependable, perfect 11 year old babysitter on the planet, and I would still think a mother that left her 3 day old child with you for 3 days was a nutcase.

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 I agree. Czech, I adore you and have no doubt you were a mature and responsible child, but frankly, I would question a mother leaving her newborn for 3 days with anyone (even a professional caregiver) outside of a very serious emergency, but especially a child. If your baby is brand new, why on earth would you want to leave it's side for any length of time? (<-that was a general you/your)

-- Edited by NAOW on Friday 21st of August 2015 04:05:06 PM

---

It may be hard for people (in general) to understand the level of trust between close friends and family. Our neighbors trusted their neighbors and their children. We had responsibilities at a very young age. It was normal for us and for everyone else in our area. We did not rely on the outside world for anything. Heck, I could bake bread from scratch, butcher a chicken and wash clothes with a wringer washing machine by the age of 10.

The rest of the world (at the age of 10, in general) was still playing with dolls. We were acting and behaving like adults.

If you treat a 10 year old like a baby, then the 10 year old WILL be a baby.

I know I grew up in a different world compared to most here. Self reliance was taught very early and it was practiced. IMHO, that is now a lost skill in parenting.

Our neighbor, who left me with all her kids and a newborn, was a very independent person. If she wanted to go, she went. 

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 That's not independent, it's irresponsible. 

A child is still a child - no matter how they are treated.  In 11 years, your brain is not fully developed, you are not an adult.  Leaving a child with such responsiblity is careless and unfair.  What if something had happened to that baby?

And I agree with NOAW - I would question a mother leaving her VERY newborn with anyone outside an emergency. 

You don't have to agree - but she was a very selfish, immature, and irresponsible mother.

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 To the bolded, the male brain is not fully developed until the age of 25. I could go lots of places on just that point.

IMHO, she was not selfish, immature or irresponsible. She left her children with a reliable individual who happened to be 11 years old. I turned 12 two months later, if that helps.

I know this is very much outside the norm for most people. I don't have a problem with that. But I am a different individual all around. That might be because I skipped the teen years.

just Czech wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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just Czech wrote:

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NAOW wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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Czech - this is not anything against you. You could have been the most reliable, dependable, perfect 11 year old babysitter on the planet, and I would still think a mother that left her 3 day old child with you for 3 days was a nutcase.

---

 I agree. Czech, I adore you and have no doubt you were a mature and responsible child, but frankly, I would question a mother leaving her newborn for 3 days with anyone (even a professional caregiver) outside of a very serious emergency, but especially a child. If your baby is brand new, why on earth would you want to leave it's side for any length of time? (<-that was a general you/your)

-- Edited by NAOW on Friday 21st of August 2015 04:05:06 PM

---

It may be hard for people (in general) to understand the level of trust between close friends and family. Our neighbors trusted their neighbors and their children. We had responsibilities at a very young age. It was normal for us and for everyone else in our area. We did not rely on the outside world for anything. Heck, I could bake bread from scratch, butcher a chicken and wash clothes with a wringer washing machine by the age of 10.

The rest of the world (at the age of 10, in general) was still playing with dolls. We were acting and behaving like adults.

If you treat a 10 year old like a baby, then the 10 year old WILL be a baby.

I know I grew up in a different world compared to most here. Self reliance was taught very early and it was practiced. IMHO, that is now a lost skill in parenting.

Our neighbor, who left me with all her kids and a newborn, was a very independent person. If she wanted to go, she went. 

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 That's not independent, it's irresponsible. 

A child is still a child - no matter how they are treated.  In 11 years, your brain is not fully developed, you are not an adult.  Leaving a child with such responsiblity is careless and unfair.  What if something had happened to that baby?

And I agree with NOAW - I would question a mother leaving her VERY newborn with anyone outside an emergency. 

You don't have to agree - but she was a very selfish, immature, and irresponsible mother.

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 To the bolded, the male brain is not fully developed until the age of 25. I could go lots of places on just that point.

IMHO, she was not selfish, immature or irresponsible. She left her children with a reliable individual who happened to be 11 years old. I turned 12 two months later, if that helps.

I know this is very much outside the norm for most people. I don't have a problem with that. But I am a different individual all around. That might be because I skipped the teen years.

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 But it wasn't fair to YOU.  That is too much for an 11 year old.  And nothing happened, but it COULD have, and that would have scarred you.  What if something happened to the one of the other little kids while you were tending the infant?  She was very lucky.  That doesn't make it ok.

So how long do we "let our kids be kids" and if we do, how can we expect them to automatically be abults?

It's a learning curve.

Know why that 1975 10 yr old would be more capable? Because he was taught how to be.

Yes, when she said it was on a reservation, I realize that is different. With one of her posts, I almost asked if she was raised Amish. But, I still don't think it is responsible parenting to leave that many children, and that young a newborn in the care of an 11 year old. It's not fair to ANY of them.

Czech, dont take this wrong, its obviously not directed toward you...

Most parents on a reservation dont really give a schitt. Really. They are stuck on a reservation for a reason. Its not a great place to grow up...

I barely let another adult watch my newborn.

I could also butcher a chicken, wash clothes, and other such nonsense by eleven.
Hell, I could milk a barn full of cows, feed all the calves, and drive tractor as well.
That does not mean I was automatically qualified to watch a newborn for three days. Jesus, do people have no common sense?

Yes, I find it extremely NORMAL for a woman to give birth and then go back to work the next day. Yep, so normal.

lilyofcourse wrote:

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I know a woman who went back to work when her baby was just 3 days old. She didn't have a choice.

Just because you wouldn't do something, doesn't mean another shouldnt.

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 Did she have a ten year old babysitting her newborn?

Ohfour wrote:

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msrock wrote:

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Ohfour wrote:

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I don't think yall realize just HOW different life is on a reservation. What Czech described still goes on today. My son in laws family (many of them) live on the reservation. Their lifestyle is completely different than ours...

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 Yeah but these people weren't on a reservation.

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 I was referencing Czechs experience. ...

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 I know!  I was just bringing it back on topic.  Czech's experience is not what happened here.  These people never beheaded a chicken or hand washed their laundry, I guarantee it.  ugh.