TOTALLY GEEKED!

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

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Czech, you seem to be happy you skipped the teen years. In all honesty I have met many many people, mostly women, who are resentful and angry that they had no life outside of helping to raise siblings. Kids do have a right to be kids.

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 Yes, I am happy I skipped my teen years. I never had to deal with the angst of insecurity. I used to laugh at the immaturity of the girls so wound up over a guy, sobbing their hearts out because they "felt" slighted. Good grief, who would miss that.

I was a little girl when I was a little girl. I outgrew being "little" at the age of 9.

I probably had the most sheltered life of anyone here. We were protected from the "monsters" of the world. We were a family unit, a whole unit together. I maintain very close bonds with fellow extended family members who grew up with me. We shared so much and enjoyed wonderful adventures. How many here got to go fishing with a gaggle of kids, ride bikes around the mile (4 miles) without seeing another human being, or built a hiding place is a grove of trees? All of this, by the age of 9.

I had a great childhood and I wouldn't change a thing about my childhood. Precious memories with wonderful loving people.

The women who are resentful and angry, IMHO, are self centered. If you are raised to be self centered instead of as a member of a team, that's what you get. They usually make a mess of their lives, IHMO.

I started this a long time ago, I'm probably way behind on posts. Sorry.

Lawyerlady wrote:

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Yes, when she said it was on a reservation, I realize that is different. With one of her posts, I almost asked if she was raised Amish. But, I still don't think it is responsible parenting to leave that many children, and that young a newborn in the care of an 11 year old. It's not fair to ANY of them.

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I do not mean to make this sound snarky, but, why do you feel you get to decide for others?

The world IS made up of different lifestyles. We (in general) need to accept that fact.

I never thought of my childhood as being fair or unfair. Why would I?

It was what it was. 

just Czech wrote:

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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

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Czech, you seem to be happy you skipped the teen years. In all honesty I have met many many people, mostly women, who are resentful and angry that they had no life outside of helping to raise siblings. Kids do have a right to be kids.

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 Yes, I am happy I skipped my teen years. I never had to deal with the angst of insecurity. I used to laugh at the immaturity of the girls so wound up over a guy, sobbing their hearts out because they "felt" slighted. Good grief, who would miss that.

I was a little girl when I was a little girl. I outgrew being "little" at the age of 9.

I probably had the most sheltered life of anyone here. We were protected from the "monsters" of the world. We were a family unit, a whole unit together. I maintain very close bonds with fellow extended family members who grew up with me. We shared so much and enjoyed wonderful adventures. How many here got to go fishing with a gaggle of kids, ride bikes around the mile (4 miles) without seeing another human being, or built a hiding place is a grove of trees? All of this, by the age of 9.

I had a great childhood and I wouldn't change a thing about my childhood. Precious memories with wonderful loving people.

The women who are resentful and angry, IMHO, are self centered. If you are raised to be self centered instead of as a member of a team, that's what you get. They usually make a mess of their lives, IHMO.

I started this a long time ago, I'm probably way behind on posts. Sorry.

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 I went fishing with a gaggle of kids.  I rode bikes all over.  Sure there were other humans around but I grew up able to ride pretty much wherever.  And I had a tree house in my tree in my backyard.  No, it wasn't in the woods but I had one.

Sorry, but there are many many people who are forced to grow up way before their time.  You may call it self centered but that doesn't mean it is.  I have no idea what is wrong with a kid being a kid.  I am not against age appropriate responsibility.  God knows I had responsibility as a kid.  I was cleaning toilets, doing laundry (in a machine so I guess I don't get the washboard badge), doing dishes, vacuuming, mowing, and a myriad of other things.  I had chores.  Many of them.  I didn't sit around all day playing dolls.  Though I did have plenty of dolls too.  It's a balance.  You teach kids responsibility in stages.  Not pop them out so you can have an automatic babysitter for the next one. 

I don't understand why anyone would have a baby only to leave it three days later.  Why have a baby if you're going to dump it off with someone else.  I honest to god don't understand that concept.  I am not trying to be insulting but I honestly can't wrap my head around a mother who has a baby only to leave it after three days.

I hope i didnt offend you. I was speaking from my recent experience. ...

Ohfour wrote:

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I hope i didnt offend you. I was speaking from my recent experience. ...

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You're fine. I am very aware of the "non-family" functioning people on the reservation. They are all over. We always avoided those individuals, but we did run into them frequently. You just have to know how to deal with the situation.

Besides, I love you.  

just Czech wrote:

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Ohfour wrote:

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I hope i didnt offend you. I was speaking from my recent experience. ...

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You're fine. I am very aware of the "non-family" functioning people on the reservation. They are all over. We always avoided those individuals, but we did run into them frequently. You just have to know how to deal with the situation.

Besides, I love you.  

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 Back babe....know it. ...:)

just Czech wrote:

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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

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just Czech wrote:

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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

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Czech, you seem to be happy you skipped the teen years. In all honesty I have met many many people, mostly women, who are resentful and angry that they had no life outside of helping to raise siblings. Kids do have a right to be kids.

---

 Yes, I am happy I skipped my teen years. I never had to deal with the angst of insecurity. I used to laugh at the immaturity of the girls so wound up over a guy, sobbing their hearts out because they "felt" slighted. Good grief, who would miss that.

I was a little girl when I was a little girl. I outgrew being "little" at the age of 9.

I probably had the most sheltered life of anyone here. We were protected from the "monsters" of the world. We were a family unit, a whole unit together. I maintain very close bonds with fellow extended family members who grew up with me. We shared so much and enjoyed wonderful adventures. How many here got to go fishing with a gaggle of kids, ride bikes around the mile (4 miles) without seeing another human being, or built a hiding place is a grove of trees? All of this, by the age of 9.

I had a great childhood and I wouldn't change a thing about my childhood. Precious memories with wonderful loving people.

The women who are resentful and angry, IMHO, are self centered. If you are raised to be self centered instead of as a member of a team, that's what you get. They usually make a mess of their lives, IHMO.

I started this a long time ago, I'm probably way behind on posts. Sorry.

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 I went fishing with a gaggle of kids.  I rode bikes all over.  Sure there were other humans around but I grew up able to ride pretty much wherever.  And I had a tree house in my tree in my backyard.  No, it wasn't in the woods but I had one.

Sorry, but there are many many people who are forced to grow up way before their time.  You may call it self centered but that doesn't mean it is.  I have no idea what is wrong with a kid being a kid.  I am not against age appropriate responsibility.  God knows I had responsibility as a kid.  I was cleaning toilets, doing laundry (in a machine so I guess I don't get the washboard badge), doing dishes, vacuuming, mowing, and a myriad of other things.  I had chores.  Many of them.  I didn't sit around all day playing dolls.  Though I did have plenty of dolls too.  It's a balance.  You teach kids responsibility in stages.  Not pop them out so you can have an automatic babysitter for the next one. 

I don't understand why anyone would have a baby only to leave it three days later.  Why have a baby if you're going to dump it off with someone else.  I honest to god don't understand that concept.  I am not trying to be insulting but I honestly can't wrap my head around a mother who has a baby only to leave it after three days.

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The mother had to go to North Dakota, her sister was dying of cancer. It happens.

Where you ever truly alone as a child? I was when I chose to be. I could go out into the fields for hours. Mom did not worry about us. What was there to worry about? Besides, the dog would always give away were I was hiding. ;)

DH was raised in a very similar manner. Only he was the third of four, but he had to work from the age of four up. And yes, he drove a tractor at the age of six.

He had a horse. I always have envied him.

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 Seriously.  It is not 1900 anymore. 

Lawyerlady wrote:

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just Czech wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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Yes, when she said it was on a reservation, I realize that is different. With one of her posts, I almost asked if she was raised Amish. But, I still don't think it is responsible parenting to leave that many children, and that young a newborn in the care of an 11 year old. It's not fair to ANY of them.

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I do not mean to make this sound snarky, but, why do you feel you get to decide for others?

The world IS made up of different lifestyles. We (in general) need to accept that fact.

I never thought of my childhood as being fair or unfair. Why would I?

It was what it was. 

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 Of course you didn't.  But you said you skipped the teen years which meant you missed a whole lot of childhood and that's something you can't get back.  I understand that, and I'd sad for it.

And why do I get to decide for others?  Because I'm smarter than a woman that would leave her newborn with a child.

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LOL, but she chose wisely.  And I did not consider myself a child at the age of 11. I would have been highly offended if anyone had said I was still a child at that age too. I was very independent at a very early age.

I can't miss what I never knew, and I hope you can understand what I mean. I am content. I always have been content.

Wait.... maybe my wild child years(17 to 20) were my teen years.  I was that biker babe back then.  

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

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just Czech wrote:

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The mother had to go to North Dakota, her sister was dying of cancer. It happens.

Where you ever truly alone as a child? I was when I chose to be. I could go out into the fields for hours. Mom did not worry about us. What was there to worry about? Besides, the dog would always give away were I was hiding. ;)

DH was raised in a very similar manner. Only he was the third of four, but he had to work from the age of four up. And yes, he drove a tractor at the age of six.

He had a horse. I always have envied him.

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 There are nine children in my family.  We lived in a four bedroom house.  No.  There was rarely "alone" time.  Too many kids.

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The house I was raised in had only 3 rooms. My parents added 3 more rooms when I was 9. While in the house, we never had alone time, but outside was a different world.

I'm sorry, but I don't understand how anyone can be truly alone in the city. Please don't take that as snarky, just an observation on my part.  

Tinydancer wrote:

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Why is Czechs experience less valid than living in a crime ridden neighborhood? I bet many many mothers in crime ridden neighborhoods need their 10 year old kid to babysit while they go to work or school so they don't have to collect welfare. I'm sorry but if you don't know that 10 year old personally then you can't really judge.

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Thank you for that observation, it's a good point. 

just Czech wrote:

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Tinydancer wrote:

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Why is Czechs experience less valid than living in a crime ridden neighborhood? I bet many many mothers in crime ridden neighborhoods need their 10 year old kid to babysit while they go to work or school so they don't have to collect welfare. I'm sorry but if you don't know that 10 year old personally then you can't really judge.

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Thank you for that observation, it's a good point. 

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 I have 6 brothers and sisters and both my parents worked. My oldest sister would watch us all day on Saturdays because both my parents had to work. My Aunt was 3 houses down and my Grandparents were on the next road. If you don't have family or friends nearby I can see where this would be different. Also don't discount that some families just have no other choice. I don't know if that's the case in this OP.

UPDATE: 37-year-old Rendi Lajaunie and 18-year-old Ember Lajaunie have both been charged and arrested for six counts of Endangering a Child.

During a search of the home officers saw multiple power sockets and light switches that were uncovered and exposed electrical live wires in two separate rooms.

A search through a Ember's cell phone showed text messages between her and her mother, Rendi, stating they both knew the ten-year-old would be watching all five unsupervised children for multiple hours.

 

Apparently this wasn't Little House on the Prairie.  You don't charge people with six counts of endangering a child if there is nothing wrong.  So feel free to argue your what if's and "in my days" all day long.  These women are being charged with a crime.

You don't really care what I have to say TD. Your mind is already made up.

You can judge me all you want, call me names, and say whatever you want about me. There is no way in hell I would leave an infant in the care of a ten year old. No way. Not at three days and not at five weeks. And if it was detrimental that I go somewhere when my child was three days old I would be taking my baby. I don't care that women have popped out a kid and gone back to work the very next day. I don't even understand why you'd bother having a kid if the next day you're leaving them. They are babies for such a short time. I want to be with any child I have. And yes, I had children and had to go back to work or school. But not the next day. That's insane. So go ahead and judge me. I think anyone who leaves their baby that young is insane.

And I didn't judge the lady in this case. The LAW did. Or do you not understand that? This wasn't about MY judgement. Police and CPS came in and arrested her. So that's not MY judgment. Obviously they found stuff wrong or they wouldn't have arrested her.

Wait...WHAT?!

Czech was a "biker babe?????????"

Carry on.

flan

Lawyerlady wrote:

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Tinydancer wrote:

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Enjoy judging people and circumstances you know nothing about. Never once did Czechs or I say it was Little House on the Prairie. We were talking about our experiences. Feel free to share yours.

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 Neither one of you are 20 years old anymore, either.  The "back in the day" stories are all well and good, but it is not "back in the day" anymore, and society and laws have changed to protect children from these types of situations.  And even when it's going to be a "totality of the circumstances" situation rather than a specific law - that is going to be based upon a societal view of reasonable - and leaving multiple young children and a newborn in the care of a child themselves is not going to be something many people find to be reasonable and acceptable.  And why do I get to judge?  Because I'm part of the society, and a potential jury member that makes the law and decides.  People here live in a society where we try our very best to protect children and make sure parents are not endangering.  As a society, we have decided that is important. 

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 This is a very well thought out response.  Because we're potential jury members is  a brilliant justification!  I'm going to agree with this.  

It is a brilliant justification for judging sir. Think about it. She clearly responded to the question of why she gets to judge. It is inarguably a perfect response.

She didn't use that as a way to validate her view. She used it specifically to answer the question why she gets to judge. Now that's the second and last time I'm explaining it to you. If you still don't understand, you're being deliberately obtuse.

Now, if I were on a jury deciding a child neglect/abuse case here--I'd want to know a few things.

The main thing I'd want to know is how old the other 4 kids were. If they were 9, 8, 7, and 6, that makes it a FAR different situation than if they were 4, 3, 2, and 1. It just does. children older than 4 or 5 can go play by themselves without as much supervision. They can go to the bathroom themselves, and if given food, can eat it themselves without much supervision. They may even be able to help the 10 year old with any younger children.

I would also want to know what in the he!! was so damn important that the parents felt they had to do this. Does it change the facts if they were at a job interview rather than at the casino? Maybe not--but I would have more sympathy in the former case.

To me, the deciding factor here would probably be the age of the infant. 5 weeks is REALLY young. I would have a hard time getting past that. If the baby was 6 months old, that would certainly be, to me, a different situation. I would still want to know how old the other kids were, though, and how much real responsibility the 10 year old had.

Six counts of child endangerment ARE a big deal. Try getting a job with that on your record.

Tinydancer wrote:

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just Czech wrote:

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Tinydancer wrote:

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Why is Czechs experience less valid than living in a crime ridden neighborhood? I bet many many mothers in crime ridden neighborhoods need their 10 year old kid to babysit while they go to work or school so they don't have to collect welfare. I'm sorry but if you don't know that 10 year old personally then you can't really judge.

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Thank you for that observation, it's a good point. 

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 I have 6 brothers and sisters and both my parents worked. My oldest sister would watch us all day on Saturdays because both my parents had to work. My Aunt was 3 houses down and my Grandparents were on the next road. If you don't have family or friends nearby I can see where this would be different. Also don't discount that some families just have no other choice. I don't know if that's the case in this OP.

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 I thought you said you and your sister were raised by your dad in a camper?  We talked about it on the ear infection thread.

lilyofcourse wrote:

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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

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Six counts of child endangerment ARE a big deal. Try getting a job with that on your record.

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 I said it probably won't amount to much.

And you obviously don't understand how counts work.

And you don't have to divulge your past charges. 

Only convictions of felonies in a 5 yr span from the date of application.

And I don't even think you have to answer it at all now.

 

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 Yeah - many for low education menial jobs.  Any type of office job or one with real responsibility will actually ask that question.  And no one with ANY criminal record gets a job in my office - we are required under federal regulations to do full background checks because we handle other people's money.

lilyofcourse wrote:

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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

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Six counts of child endangerment ARE a big deal. Try getting a job with that on your record.

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 I said it probably won't amount to much.

And you obviously don't understand how counts work.

And you don't have to divulge your past charges. 

Only convictions of felonies in a 5 yr span from the date of application.

And I don't even think you have to answer it at all now.

 

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 Ma'am, I believe you are misinformed.  Mightily misinformed.

**hat tip**

-- Edited by OutlawJoseyWales on Saturday 22nd of August 2015 06:27:07 PM

OutlawJoseyWales wrote:

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lilyofcourse wrote:

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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

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Six counts of child endangerment ARE a big deal. Try getting a job with that on your record.

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 I said it probably won't amount to much.

And you obviously don't understand how counts work.

And you don't have to divulge your past charges. 

Only convictions of felonies in a 5 yr span from the date of application.

And I don't even think you have to answer it at all now.

 

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 Ma'am, I believe you are misinformed.  Mightily misinformed.

**hat tip**

-- Edited by OutlawJoseyWales on Saturday 22nd of August 2015 06:27:07 PM

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 Well, being a convicted felon, I think I have some inside information. 

lilyofcourse wrote:

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OutlawJoseyWales wrote:

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lilyofcourse wrote:

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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

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Six counts of child endangerment ARE a big deal. Try getting a job with that on your record.

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 I said it probably won't amount to much.

And you obviously don't understand how counts work.

And you don't have to divulge your past charges. 

Only convictions of felonies in a 5 yr span from the date of application.

And I don't even think you have to answer it at all now.

 

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 Ma'am, I believe you are misinformed.  Mightily misinformed.

**hat tip**

-- Edited by OutlawJoseyWales on Saturday 22nd of August 2015 06:27:07 PM

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 Well, being a convicted felon, I think I have some inside information. 

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 A convicted felon that hasn't applied for a job in years.