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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Dear Abby: Husband lives with Ex
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DEAR ABBY: For the past year I have been married to a man I love with all my heart, but we have yet to reside in the same house. He lives in another city with his child's mother and gives me excuse after excuse as to why he won't leave. It's either that he's scared to have to pay child support, or he's afraid of my temper (which I'm seeking help for), or it's just not the right time.

I think I should take priority over his child's mother because I am his wife. I am fed up with the excuses and ready to call it quits. What should I do? -- MARRIED BUT ALONE IN MARYLAND

DEAR MARRIED: Keep working on your anger issues, but call it quits. Obviously, your "husband's" priorities lie elsewhere. Whether in the legal sense or the emotional, he appears to be very much married to his child's mother. As it stands, you are already living as a divorcee, so make it official and move on.



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Lawyerlady


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Are there really people this stupid? Has she heard the word bigamy?

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Another idiot.



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TrudyML


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Mmm, k.

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ed11563


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About as smart as the litigants on Judge Judy.

 



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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Lawyerlady wrote:

Are there really people this stupid? Has she heard the word bigamy?

I know!!!  Wow!hmm 



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Nobody Just Nobody


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ffs, give him an ultimatum and then dump him. She's a stupid biatch.

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MyNameIsJoe


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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

ffs, give him an ultimatum and then dump him. She's a stupid biatch.

 I've never witnessed a successful ultimatum.  Resentment is powerful and the one issuing the ultimatum loses as power.  Be a grown up and make the decision yoursellf.

 



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MyNameIsJoe wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

ffs, give him an ultimatum and then dump him. She's a stupid biatch.

 I've never witnessed a successful ultimatum.  Resentment is powerful and the one issuing the ultimatum loses as power.  Be a grown up and make the decision yoursellf.

 

 I'm not a fan of ultimatums either.  But in this case I'd tell him to chit or get off the pot.  He had xyz amount of time to decide or I would be filing divorce papers.  He does not have to live with his child's mother to have a relationship with his child.  That's a total cop out on his part.  She needs to tell him to decide or else she will. 



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Lawyerlady


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He has already decided - she is just ignoring the memo.

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Nobody Just Nobody


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I'm just saying if it were me I'd give him the one last chance. That way I could divorce him with a clean conscience.

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ed11563


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I think she has to take a trip and visit his other wife. Introduce herself. Take along a photocopy of her marriage license.

Discuss moving in, and maybe sharing their bed.

 

See how that sits with the other woman.

 

 



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Southern_Belle


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Lawyerlady wrote:

He has already decided - she is just ignoring the memo.

 This.



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Nobody Just Nobody


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All I'm saying is SHE sounds like she's unsure. She should sit him down and tell him to choose or she's leaving. We all know what the answer is going to be. But that way she can say she did all she could. I know I should have filed for divorce a lot sooner. Everyone told me to. I just had to do it when I was ready. That point is different for everyone. And honestly? As soon as someone complains about their spouse everyone is quick to jump on the divorce boat. Then, when they are divorced, everyone is quick to say "Oh well, that's what you get for being divorced."

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Ohfour


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Ex my ass. I'd be willing to bet the house hes still married...

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ed11563 wrote:

I think she has to take a trip and visit his other wife. Introduce herself. Take along a photocopy of her marriage license.

Discuss moving in, and maybe sharing their bed.

 

See how that sits with the other woman.

 

 

 This



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Southern_Belle wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:

He has already decided - she is just ignoring the memo.

 This.

 And this



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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

All I'm saying is SHE sounds like she's unsure. She should sit him down and tell him to choose or she's leaving. We all know what the answer is going to be. But that way she can say she did all she could. I know I should have filed for divorce a lot sooner. Everyone told me to. I just had to do it when I was ready. That point is different for everyone. And honestly? As soon as someone complains about their spouse everyone is quick to jump on the divorce boat. Then, when they are divorced, everyone is quick to say "Oh well, that's what you get for being divorced."

 Leave what?  They don't live together.  Stupid people get themselves into stupid situations.



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Tangerine


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I bet he married her in Mexico or somewhere where it's not legally recognized in the U.S. That way it's not technically bigamy.

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Nobody Just Nobody


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I agree she's stupid. I didn't say she wasn't. But it's obvious she wants to still be married or she wouldn't have even written this. If she had already "gotten all the signs" then she wouldn't still be confused. All I'm saying is confronting him about it will leave her with no doubt whatsoever. And what is so plain and clear for all of us is not for her. Love is blind, forest for the trees, and all that kind of stuff.

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