TOTALLY GEEKED!

ed11563 · Guru

Dear Abby - Lock the Doors

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

So lock the door your darn self. Get a door knob that locks whenever the door is closed - every time you leave you need a key to get back in. Problem solved. Duh.

weltschmerz · Guru

Not a guy thing. I rarely lock my door.

ed11563 · Guru

I've known people like this guy. Anything she does will piss him off.

In a way he's like a driver who speeds and tailgates, and criticizes her when she puts on a seatbelt.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Lock the door yourself.

And Ed, don't be so melodramatic.

-- Edited by lilyofcourse on Sunday 20th of September 2015 05:30:59 PM

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

lilyofcourse wrote:
Lock the door yourself.

And Ed, don't be so melodramatic.

-- Edited by lilyofcourse on Sunday 20th of September 2015 05:30:59 PM

But she leaves in the morning for work before he does, how can she lock the door herself? He is a jerk for not considering her feelings and safety.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Lock the door yourself.

And Ed, don't be so melodramatic.

-- Edited by lilyofcourse on Sunday 20th of September 2015 05:30:59 PM
But she leaves in the morning for work before he does, how can she lock the door herself? He is a jerk for not considering her feelings and safety.

Or if she does lock it at night, and goes for a walk or just go outside prior to him going to bed and leaves the door unlocked, what can she do?

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I don't know. Don't live there.

ed11563 · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
Lock the door yourself.

And Ed, don't be so melodramatic.

-- Edited by lilyofcourse on Sunday 20th of September 2015 05:30:59 PM

I live in a solidly middle class neighborhood.

Most of the burglaries within a couple of miles of here, occur when a guy enters through an unlocked door or window.

When one guy was caught, he was charged with 23 break-ins during a 6 month period.

The guy who tried to break into MY house did it by kicking in a basement window. Fortunately, that window was alarmed.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

She's not going to change him. Lock it herself.

huskerbb · Guru

We don't lock our doors--but yeah, if it's such an issue for her, why can't she lock them, herself?

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

huskerbb wrote:
We don't lock our doors--but yeah, if it's such an issue for her, why can't she lock them, herself?

REad my above posts Husker.

huskerbb · Guru

I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Lock the door yourself.

And Ed, don't be so melodramatic.

-- Edited by lilyofcourse on Sunday 20th of September 2015 05:30:59 PM
But she leaves in the morning for work before he does, how can she lock the door herself? He is a jerk for not considering her feelings and safety.
Or if she does lock it at night, and goes for a walk or just go outside prior to him going to bed and leaves the door unlocked, what can she do?

Get up and lock it.

ed11563 · Guru

I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Lock the door yourself.

And Ed, don't be so melodramatic.

-- Edited by lilyofcourse on Sunday 20th of September 2015 05:30:59 PM
But she leaves in the morning for work before he does, how can she lock the door herself? He is a jerk for not considering her feelings and safety.

If she leaves before him and returns before him, and he's leaving anything unlocked ...

she has to consider that there MIGHT be an intruder inside, EVERY TIME SHE OPENS THE DOOR.

So she has to be nervous, and she has to be armed and ready.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

huskerbb wrote:
I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Lock the door yourself.

And Ed, don't be so melodramatic.

-- Edited by lilyofcourse on Sunday 20th of September 2015 05:30:59 PM
But she leaves in the morning for work before he does, how can she lock the door herself? He is a jerk for not considering her feelings and safety.
Or if she does lock it at night, and goes for a walk or just go outside prior to him going to bed and leaves the door unlocked, what can she do?
Get up and lock it.

So you are saying when she goes to bed, she can't go to sleep in case husband goes out. You know what? She should stay up, not get sleep, wait for him to leave and then lock the door behind him.Then he and no criminals can get him.. Yep, good plan.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

ed11563 wrote:
I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Lock the door yourself.

And Ed, don't be so melodramatic.

-- Edited by lilyofcourse on Sunday 20th of September 2015 05:30:59 PM
But she leaves in the morning for work before he does, how can she lock the door herself? He is a jerk for not considering her feelings and safety.
If she leaves before him and returns before him, and he's leaving anything unlocked ...
she has to consider that there MIGHT be an intruder inside, EVERY TIME SHE OPENS THE DOOR.
So she has to be nervous, and she has to be armed and ready.

9MM glock or just get rid of the husband.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

He's her boyfriend, not her husband. If he can't be considerate enough to do this one simple thing to help her feel SAFE, then maybe they should not be living together.

ed11563 · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
He's her boyfriend, not her husband. If he can't be considerate enough to do this one simple thing to help her feel SAFE, then maybe they should not be living together.

Yes, time to move on to someone who WON'T put her at risk.

Who know what else this guy is doing or not doing?

"Honey, I got the oil changed in your car and put air in the tires." (but didn't ... )

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
We don't lock our doors--but yeah, if it's such an issue for her, why can't she lock them, herself?
REad my above posts Husker.

Read mine. Get the door knob that locks automatically every time you close the door. We had one and I loved it. Never worried about whether I locked the door or not. Then the burden shifts to him to remember the key. Perhaps she could put on a piece of yarn for him to wear around his neck.

ed11563 · Guru

Mellow Momma wrote:
I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
We don't lock our doors--but yeah, if it's such an issue for her, why can't she lock them, herself?
REad my above posts Husker.
Read mine. Get the door knob that locks automatically every time you close the door. We had one and I loved it. Never worried about whether I locked the door or not. Then the burden shifts to him to remember the key. Perhaps she could put on a piece of yarn for him to wear around his neck.

One guy I'm thinking of would probably take it off and hang it from the doorknob.

huskerbb · Guru

I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Lock the door yourself.

And Ed, don't be so melodramatic.

-- Edited by lilyofcourse on Sunday 20th of September 2015 05:30:59 PM
But she leaves in the morning for work before he does, how can she lock the door herself? He is a jerk for not considering her feelings and safety.
Or if she does lock it at night, and goes for a walk or just go outside prior to him going to bed and leaves the door unlocked, what can she do?
Get up and lock it.
So you are saying when she goes to bed, she can't go to sleep in case husband goes out. You know what? She should stay up, not get sleep, wait for him to leave and then lock the door behind him.Then he and no criminals can get him.. Yep, good plan.

Or just get up for 30 seconds when he gets home and lock the doors.

She can dump him if she wants to. There is always that option. No one says she has to stay with him. It doesn't sound like that is what she wants, though.

It's rather like putting the toilet seat up or down. You can't b!tch about it--or you can just do it, yourself. It's not that big of a deal.

huskerbb · Guru

ed11563 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
He's her boyfriend, not her husband. If he can't be considerate enough to do this one simple thing to help her feel SAFE, then maybe they should not be living together.
Yes, time to move on to someone who WON'T put her at risk.
Who know what else this guy is doing or not doing?
"Honey, I got the oil changed in your car and put air in the tires." (but didn't ... )

What "risk"? What has happened because of this? We don't know what type of neighborhood they live in. The risk may be non-existent.

NAOW · Vette's SS

I am very strict about doors and windows being locked. Locks are meant to prevent the risk of people breaking in, you don't have to wait for it to happen to start using them.

It is so simple to do, the fact that he wont is the issue, not whether the doors 'need' to be locked or not. We all have little quirks that our spouses cater to and we to them.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

ed11563 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
He's her boyfriend, not her husband. If he can't be considerate enough to do this one simple thing to help her feel SAFE, then maybe they should not be living together.
Yes, time to move on to someone who WON'T put her at risk.
Who know what else this guy is doing or not doing?
"Honey, I got the oil changed in your car and put air in the tires." (but didn't ... )

What?

You realize you are criminalizing this person, right? Making him into some psychotic maniac.

It's a lock on a door. He isn't Charles Manson.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

ed11563 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
He's her boyfriend, not her husband. If he can't be considerate enough to do this one simple thing to help her feel SAFE, then maybe they should not be living together.
Yes, time to move on to someone who WON'T put her at risk.
Who know what else this guy is doing or not doing?
"Honey, I got the oil changed in your car and put air in the tires." (but didn't ... )

FFS Yes. He's not really just an uncaring clod. He's really a sadist boyfriend with a plot to have her offed. Melodramatic much?

Tinydancer · Guru

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
ed11563 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
He's her boyfriend, not her husband. If he can't be considerate enough to do this one simple thing to help her feel SAFE, then maybe they should not be living together.
Yes, time to move on to someone who WON'T put her at risk.
Who know what else this guy is doing or not doing?
"Honey, I got the oil changed in your car and put air in the tires." (but didn't ... )

FFS Yes. He's not really just an uncaring clod. He's really a sadist boyfriend with a plot to have her offed. Melodramatic much?

OMG. I agree with NJN and lily twice in one night. I believe the world is ending...lol

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Well, you know, sometimes hell does freeze over.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Apparently on the 23rd.

huskerbb · Guru

NAOW wrote:
I am very strict about doors and windows being locked. Locks are meant to prevent the risk of people breaking in, you don't have to wait for it to happen to start using them.

It is so simple to do, the fact that he wont is the issue, not whether the doors 'need' to be locked or not. We all have little quirks that our spouses cater to and we to them.

But she can do it, too. We are speculating that he's going out jogging late at night, or whatever. That likely is not the case--and she's not complaining about him leaving the doors unlocked during the day when they are not home.

Tinydancer · Guru

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Well, you know, sometimes hell does freeze over.

You have a point...lol

NAOW · Vette's SS

huskerbb wrote:
NAOW wrote:
I am very strict about doors and windows being locked. Locks are meant to prevent the risk of people breaking in, you don't have to wait for it to happen to start using them.

It is so simple to do, the fact that he wont is the issue, not whether the doors 'need' to be locked or not. We all have little quirks that our spouses cater to and we to them.
But she can do it, too. We are speculating that he's going out jogging late at night, or whatever. That likely is not the case--and she's not complaining about him leaving the doors unlocked during the day when they are not home.

Yes, she does say she comes home to the doors unlocked.

You think that is not the case? I guess it could be that they go to bed at the same time and she- being so serious about locking the doors- for some reason keeps leaving it to him to do, even though she routinely wakes up to unlocked doors, but I think it is more likely that she goes to sleep before he comes home and asks him to lock up after himself and he just doesn't do it.

Yes, I agree that if they are both home and awake she can lock them herself, but I think she probably already does that.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

We kind of had the opposite. DH grew up in the city. I grew up in small town USA. We never locked anything. We would go to bed and the only thing closed was the unlocked screen door. The main door wasn't closed half the time in the summer. We never locked our cars. DH on the other hand is a serial locker. And, this got annoying when we had kids because then everyone was coming and going. Or, they would be go outside and play and DH would lock the doors, etc. I think he just finally gave up, lol.

FNW · Guru

Get an alarm system. Even if they are renting an apartment, there are wireless ones you can install yourself. Keep the faub next to your bed. Alarm when you go to bed. If doors are unlocked, at least the alarm will wake you up if someone opens the doors.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Keep a loaded gun on the nightstand.

Mary Zombie · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
He's her boyfriend, not her husband. If he can't be considerate enough to do this one simple thing to help her feel SAFE, then maybe they should not be living together.

This is where I'm at with it. It's one small thing to make her happy and he won't do it . I bet he's controlling and Selfish in other ways too.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Mary Zombie wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
He's her boyfriend, not her husband. If he can't be considerate enough to do this one simple thing to help her feel SAFE, then maybe they should not be living together.
This is where I'm at with it. It's one small thing to make her happy and he won't do it . I bet he's controlling and Selfish in other ways too.

Did you not get the memo? He put a hit out on her!

chef · Guru

Mary Zombie wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
He's her boyfriend, not her husband. If he can't be considerate enough to do this one simple thing to help her feel SAFE, then maybe they should not be living together.
This is where I'm at with it. It's one small thing to make her happy and he won't do it . I bet he's controlling and Selfish in other ways too.

x2

huskerbb · Guru

Mary Zombie wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
He's her boyfriend, not her husband. If he can't be considerate enough to do this one simple thing to help her feel SAFE, then maybe they should not be living together.
This is where I'm at with it. It's one small thing to make her happy and he won't do it . I bet he's controlling and Selfish in other ways too.

But why can't it be a "small thing" for her to just leave it alone or lock them, herself? She's the one who seems rather controlling.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Because women expect that the men in their lives will CARE about their safety.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

It's silly. The whole thing.

She wants it locked.

He doesn't see the point.

Has it become an insurmountable obstacle at this point?

Personally, if they can't get together on this one little thing, they don't need to be living together.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

huskerbb wrote:
Mary Zombie wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
He's her boyfriend, not her husband. If he can't be considerate enough to do this one simple thing to help her feel SAFE, then maybe they should not be living together.
This is where I'm at with it. It's one small thing to make her happy and he won't do it . I bet he's controlling and Selfish in other ways too.
But why can't it be a "small thing" for her to just leave it alone or lock them, herself? She's the one who seems rather controlling.

Leave it alone? Because it makes her feel unsafe. Why should she have to go through life feeling unsafe?

Lock them herself? You are ignoring that she is coming home to unlocked doors. She can't lock them herself if she is gone before him.

He's an idiot.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I have come home to find doors unlocked. Standing open even.

We don't know what kind of area they live in.

She could be over reacting or she could have very valid concerns.

She will have to decide if she wants to stay with someone who disregards her feelings.

Because in the end, that's what this is about.

He is dismissing her and her concerns.

That doesn't bode well for the overall relationship.

FNW · Guru

I agree with lily. If he were just forgetful and absentminded, I would give him a break and just lock them myself. My husband sometimes forgets. He grew up in an area and time where people just didn't lock them. It's not something that is automatic with him. I grew up closer to the city, and was the victim of burglary. It's automatic for me. I make it a point to make sure the alarm is at least on.

huskerbb · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Mary Zombie wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
He's her boyfriend, not her husband. If he can't be considerate enough to do this one simple thing to help her feel SAFE, then maybe they should not be living together.
This is where I'm at with it. It's one small thing to make her happy and he won't do it . I bet he's controlling and Selfish in other ways too.
But why can't it be a "small thing" for her to just leave it alone or lock them, herself? She's the one who seems rather controlling.
Leave it alone? Because it makes her feel unsafe. Why should she have to go through life feeling unsafe?
Lock them herself? You are ignoring that she is coming home to unlocked doors. She can't lock them herself if she is gone before him.
He's an idiot.

Well, if he's an idiot, she can always break up with him--otherwise, its as much on her to put up with his quirks and hang-ups as if is on him to put up with hers.