TOTALLY GEEKED!

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

RE: Dear Carolyn: In Lieu of a Gift, Please Donate to Charity

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

No they weren't. They were just being pompous asses.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lexxy wrote:
Needy children is a pretty middle of the road cause. It doesn't appear to have any political agenda at least at first glance. I really think they were trying to do a good & charitable thing.

I do too. I'm not ready to crucify the LW.

There's a big push to simplify life...has been for years. Maybe they don't WANT a ton of toys for their baby.

flan

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
No they weren't. They were just being pompous asses.

You got that from ONE sentence?!

flan

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

It's very simple. YOu just have a party or a bbq or whatever.

-- Edited by Lady Gaga Snerd on Tuesday 22nd of September 2015 12:36:54 PM

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

""Not every child is lucky enough to have a birthday party like A.!""

Pass the barf bag.

Ohfour · Hooker

Then they can give them to the charity that helps poor kids. One does not get to dictate what others spend their money on. ESPECIALLY charitable giving. That is beyond arrogant...

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
It's very simple. YOu just have a party or a bbq or whatever.

-- Edited by Lady Gaga Snerd on Tuesday 22nd of September 2015 12:36:54 PM

And people will bring GIFTS.

flan

Lindley · Guru

I think if you are going to request a donation in lieu of flowers choose a organization that is not controversial such as peta, & planned parenthood. I would rather give to a local charity and helps the community I live in.

Our business always had a Christmas party every year and we each bough each other gag gifts. This last year Instead of a party a department adopted a few kids from the grade school who will not have much of a Christmas and bought Chritsmas gifts for them and we had a wrapping party and delivered it to the grade school. It was set up so the families didn't know who sent them. Everyone loved it and I would have to say all of the employees commented that they would all like to do it again.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

OMG I don't see the big deal here! If you don't freakin like the charity don't donate to it. Donate to someone else. Don't donate. Don't even go. Fvck, sit around and talk bad about them. Because that's so much nicer. Hell, go to the damn party and talk chitty behind their backs the whole day. Cause that would be so much better.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Lindley wrote:
I think if you are going to request a donation in lieu of flowers choose a organization that is not controversial such as peta, & planned parenthood. I would rather give to a local charity and helps the community I live in.

Our business always had a Christmas party every year and we each bough each other gag gifts. This last year Instead of a party a department adopted a few kids from the grade school who will not have much of a Christmas and bought Chritsmas gifts for them and we had a wrapping party and delivered it to the grade school. It was set up so the families didn't know who sent them. Everyone loved it and I would have to say all of the employees commented that they would all like to do it again.

The ONLY thing I can possibly see that this couple did wrong is list their charity. Maybe they could have said "To such and such a charity as it helps poor children or a charity of your choosing."

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
OMG I don't see the big deal here! If you don't freakin like the charity don't donate to it. Donate to someone else. Don't donate. Don't even go. Fvck, sit around and talk bad about them. Because that's so much nicer. Hell, go to the damn party and talk chitty behind their backs the whole day. Cause that would be so much better.

Pretty much. There are much bigger problems in the world.

Lexxy · My dog name is Sasha, too!

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Lindley wrote:
I think if you are going to request a donation in lieu of flowers choose a organization that is not controversial such as peta, & planned parenthood. I would rather give to a local charity and helps the community I live in.

Our business always had a Christmas party every year and we each bough each other gag gifts. This last year Instead of a party a department adopted a few kids from the grade school who will not have much of a Christmas and bought Chritsmas gifts for them and we had a wrapping party and delivered it to the grade school. It was set up so the families didn't know who sent them. Everyone loved it and I would have to say all of the employees commented that they would all like to do it again.
The ONLY thing I can possibly see that this couple did wrong is list their charity. Maybe they could have said "To such and such a charity as it helps poor children or a charity of your choosing."

Exactly. I think they were doing a good thing but were clumsy about how they went about it.

Ohfour · Hooker

Listing the charity is pompous. I would rethink my friendship...

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
OMG I don't see the big deal here! If you don't freakin like the charity don't donate to it. Donate to someone else. Don't donate. Don't even go. Fvck, sit around and talk bad about them. Because that's so much nicer. Hell, go to the damn party and talk chitty behind their backs the whole day. Cause that would be so much better.

Oooh, I touched a nerve, lol. biggrin

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

I simply don't understand the vitriol.

flan

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
We were going to a $5 Secret Santa at work. And, one guy was like "oh, I just want my gift to go to charity" blah, blah. Sorry, but that really missed the point. It was just about having a bit of fun of opening some inexpensive gift. But, perhaps we should skip Secret Santa and all of us can donate to charity instead?

This.

You've said something like this before.

It seems you have a problem with giving to charity even if you get to pick which one.

Why is that?

Why would you rather spend $5 on a crappy gift instead of giving $5 to a charity?

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
No they weren't. They were just being pompous asses.

How? I do not understand your attitude.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
""Not every child is lucky enough to have a birthday party like A.!""

Pass the barf bag.

What is your problem?

I mean really.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Ohfour wrote:
Then they can give them to the charity that helps poor kids. One does not get to dictate what others spend their money on. ESPECIALLY charitable giving. That is beyond arrogant...

But that is not what it is.

$20 bucks on a toy that will most likely end up in the trash or yard sale, or $20 to a charity that feeds kids.

And there are very, very few charities that don't pay someone.

Just about every single charity has overhead.

Ohfour · Hooker

lilyofcourse wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
We were going to a $5 Secret Santa at work. And, one guy was like "oh, I just want my gift to go to charity" blah, blah. Sorry, but that really missed the point. It was just about having a bit of fun of opening some inexpensive gift. But, perhaps we should skip Secret Santa and all of us can donate to charity instead?
This.
You've said something like this before.
It seems you have a problem with giving to charity even if you get to pick which one.
Why is that?
Why would you rather spend $5 on a crappy gift instead of giving $5 to a charity?

That's the point of a $5 Secret Santa. It's like White Elephant gifts. They are supposed to be cheesy...

Ohfour · Hooker

lilyofcourse wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
Then they can give them to the charity that helps poor kids. One does not get to dictate what others spend their money on. ESPECIALLY charitable giving. That is beyond arrogant...
But that is not what it is.
$20 bucks on a toy that will most likely end up in the trash or yard sale, or $20 to a charity that feeds kids.
And there are very, very few charities that don't pay someone.
Just about every single charity has overhead.

It says it "helps" poor children. It doesn't say it feeds kids. I'm not giving to a charity just because someone wants me to...

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Ohfour wrote:
Listing the charity is pompous. I would rethink my friendship...

Really? THAT would make you rethink a friendship?

Ohfour · Hooker

lilyofcourse wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
Listing the charity is pompous. I would rethink my friendship...
Really? THAT would make you rethink a friendship?

If a friend of mine asked me directly to give to Planned Parenthood, knowing how I feel about it, yes, I would re-think that friendship...

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Ohfour wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
We were going to a $5 Secret Santa at work. And, one guy was like "oh, I just want my gift to go to charity" blah, blah. Sorry, but that really missed the point. It was just about having a bit of fun of opening some inexpensive gift. But, perhaps we should skip Secret Santa and all of us can donate to charity instead?
This.
You've said something like this before.
It seems you have a problem with giving to charity even if you get to pick which one.
Why is that?
Why would you rather spend $5 on a crappy gift instead of giving $5 to a charity?

That's the point of a $5 Secret Santa. It's like White Elephant gifts. They are supposed to be cheesy...

So wasting money is ok but helping a charity is cause to end a friendship?

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Ohfour wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
Then they can give them to the charity that helps poor kids. One does not get to dictate what others spend their money on. ESPECIALLY charitable giving. That is beyond arrogant...
But that is not what it is.
$20 bucks on a toy that will most likely end up in the trash or yard sale, or $20 to a charity that feeds kids.
And there are very, very few charities that don't pay someone.
Just about every single charity has overhead.
It says it "helps" poor children. It doesn't say it feeds kids. I'm not giving to a charity just because someone wants me to...

I think helping would include food some how.

Perhaps it gives flu shots or buys shoes or school supplies.

I just don't understand the hate.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Ohfour wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
Listing the charity is pompous. I would rethink my friendship...
Really? THAT would make you rethink a friendship?

If a friend of mine asked me directly to give to Planned Parenthood, knowing how I feel about it, yes, I would re-think that friendship...

But.... that isn't what the OP asked.

Of course you have the right of discernment.

But I have never had anyone ask me to give to PP or PETA.

Ohfour · Hooker

I have had multiple people ask me to give to the Susan G Komen foundation. It's routinely listed as one of the most wasteful "charities". They don't want to see it because it's their pet cause...

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I give to Komen.

My grandmother was a 10 year survivor. Mastectomy was really hard on her emotionally. The hospital had counselors provided by Koen foundation.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
OMG I don't see the big deal here! If you don't freakin like the charity don't donate to it. Donate to someone else. Don't donate. Don't even go. Fvck, sit around and talk bad about them. Because that's so much nicer. Hell, go to the damn party and talk chitty behind their backs the whole day. Cause that would be so much better.
Oooh, I touched a nerve, lol.

No, your bitchiness is over done. Give, don't give, go, don't go. Who really cares. YOU are making this some horrendous thing when it is simply not.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

flan327 wrote:
I simply don't understand the vitriol.

flan

I don't either. I don't get why people are so freaking mad over this. And saying they wouldn't even want to be friends?

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

lilyofcourse wrote:
I give to Komen.

My grandmother was a 10 year survivor. Mastectomy was really hard on her emotionally. The hospital had counselors provided by Koen foundation.

Only 25% of what is given to Komen is actually used for cancer research or applied for cancer patients. The other 75% is all publicity, fees, and salaries.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
I give to Komen.

My grandmother was a 10 year survivor. Mastectomy was really hard on her emotionally. The hospital had counselors provided by Koen foundation.

Only 25% of what is given to Komen is actually used for cancer research or applied for cancer patients. The other 75% is all publicity, fees, and salaries.

I don't care. In this case, it went toward counseling.

Like I said, there are very, very few charities where 100% of donations go to the needy.

They all have overhead.

huskerbb · Guru

Dona Worry Be Happy wrote:
Why? A lot of people are uncomfortable not doing anything. When I am told no presents please, I like having an alternative offered. It makes me feel like I am doing something to mark the occasion that will be genuinely appreciated.

Donate to a charity of your choice if you want to. Having someone dictate to me what and when to give is simply rude and idiotic.

I HATE it when I get gifts like that, too--such as "well, I gave such and such a donation to such and such a charity in your name."

My goddaughter has started to do that the last couple of years. Honestly, I'd rather she just skip it, or donate on her own and leave our names off of it. I don't know anything about the charity she picks, and it's not really a gift "from" me, anyway.

ETA: She's in college and I think she's probably trying to drop us a hint that she'd rather forego the gift exchange--but we bought her a set of luggage for her graduation, anyway.

-- Edited by huskerbb on Tuesday 22nd of September 2015 11:59:30 PM

weltschmerz · Guru

Donate to a charity of your choice if you want to. Having someone dictate to me what and when to give is simply rude and idiotic.

But when you're going to a birthday party, you're not giving a gift to the child of your choice. You're giving it to the child whose birthday it is. Do you get upset that they're dictating as to which child will be receiving the gift? No. It's the birthday boy/girl.

If you're going to celebrate this event with this family, it's perfectly OK for the family to request a donation to their charity in lieu of the gift.

I don't see why anyone would get their nose out of joint about it.

"Oh no, you don't!! Nobody tells ME to help the needy kids! It's rude and idiotic! I want to spend it on cheap junk made in China!"

I don't get it.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I see a lot of "in lieu of flowers, donate to this or that".

I guess that's rude as well.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

weltschmerz wrote:
Donate to a charity of your choice if you want to. Having someone dictate to me what and when to give is simply rude and idiotic.
But when you're going to a birthday party, you're not giving a gift to the child of your choice. You're giving it to the child whose birthday it is. Do you get upset that they're dictating as to which child will be receiving the gift? No. It's the birthday boy/girl.
If you're going to celebrate this event with this family, it's perfectly OK for the family to request a donation to their charity in lieu of the gift.
I don't see why anyone would get their nose out of joint about it.
"Oh no, you don't!! Nobody tells ME to help the needy kids! It's rude and idiotic! I want to spend it on cheap junk made in China!"

I don't get it.

For once, we agree.

huskerbb · Guru

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Maybe, I will try that. In lieu of gifts, please donate to the NRA.

-- Edited by huskerbb on Wednesday 23rd of September 2015 11:38:14 AM

huskerbb · Guru

flan327 wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
This is just another way for the Self Important to demonstrate their so called self importance, lol./
Or...wait for it...they COULD actually be sincere.
flan

Then donate, yourself. Don't try to coerce your friends into supporting your charities.

huskerbb · Guru

weltschmerz wrote:
I thought it was a lovely gesture. If you don't like that particular charity, I'm sure the parents would be just as happy with a donation to the Make-a-Wish Foundation. Nothing to get your knickers in a twist about.
Some people just look for stuff to be offended about.

-- Edited by weltschmerz on Monday 21st of September 2015 01:44:46 PM

Or the NRA. Or the Republican PAC.

huskerbb · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
But why is it rude and presumptuous?

What is the difference between a registry and a charity?

They are both rude.

huskerbb · Guru

weltschmerz wrote:
Donate to a charity of your choice if you want to. Having someone dictate to me what and when to give is simply rude and idiotic.
But when you're going to a birthday party, you're not giving a gift to the child of your choice. You're giving it to the child whose birthday it is. Do you get upset that they're dictating as to which child will be receiving the gift? No. It's the birthday boy/girl.
If you're going to celebrate this event with this family, it's perfectly OK for the family to request a donation to their charity in lieu of the gift.
I don't see why anyone would get their nose out of joint about it.
"Oh no, you don't!! Nobody tells ME to help the needy kids! It's rude and idiotic! I want to spend it on cheap junk made in China!"

I don't get it.

So what? If I know a child and am going to attend their party, I WANT to give them a gift. I don't know these charities.

weltschmerz · Guru

huskerbb wrote:
weltschmerz wrote:
Donate to a charity of your choice if you want to. Having someone dictate to me what and when to give is simply rude and idiotic.
But when you're going to a birthday party, you're not giving a gift to the child of your choice. You're giving it to the child whose birthday it is. Do you get upset that they're dictating as to which child will be receiving the gift? No. It's the birthday boy/girl.
If you're going to celebrate this event with this family, it's perfectly OK for the family to request a donation to their charity in lieu of the gift.
I don't see why anyone would get their nose out of joint about it.
"Oh no, you don't!! Nobody tells ME to help the needy kids! It's rude and idiotic! I want to spend it on cheap junk made in China!"

I don't get it.
So what? If I know a child and am going to attend their party, I WANT to give them a gift. I don't know these charities.

So donate to another childrens' charity. It's not rocket surgery. The parents' attitude is "My child is blessed and has enough. In lieu of a gift, we want other children to get something."

Giving to the NRA or Republican PAC is not in the spirit of the thing.

huskerbb · Guru

weltschmerz wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
weltschmerz wrote:
Donate to a charity of your choice if you want to. Having someone dictate to me what and when to give is simply rude and idiotic.
But when you're going to a birthday party, you're not giving a gift to the child of your choice. You're giving it to the child whose birthday it is. Do you get upset that they're dictating as to which child will be receiving the gift? No. It's the birthday boy/girl.
If you're going to celebrate this event with this family, it's perfectly OK for the family to request a donation to their charity in lieu of the gift.
I don't see why anyone would get their nose out of joint about it.
"Oh no, you don't!! Nobody tells ME to help the needy kids! It's rude and idiotic! I want to spend it on cheap junk made in China!"

I don't get it.
So what? If I know a child and am going to attend their party, I WANT to give them a gift. I don't know these charities.
So donate to another childrens' charity. It's not rocket surgery. The parents' attitude is "My child is blessed and has enough. In lieu of a gift, we want other children to get something."
Giving to the NRA or Republican PAC is not in the spirit of the thing.

And that is what is BS. Theyngetbto decide what is in the "spirit"? That's like saying "your gift isn't good enough."

weltschmerz · Guru

They want other children to benefit. Their child has enough. Why is that so hard for you to understand?

huskerbb · Guru

weltschmerz wrote:
They want other children to benefit. Their child has enough. Why is that so hard for you to understand?

Then they can donate.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Because we have to take every event in life and now turn it into something that it isn't. Why can't a birthday party simply be a birthday party? We have to muddy the waters on literally everything. Gawd. As I said if you don't want gifts, then just have a plain old party.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Because if you say you are having a birthday party people will bring gifts. At least the ones that were raised to be polite.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Gaga - are you this big a drama llama in real life or do you just save it for the boards? Are you mild and quiet IRL?

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Because if you say you are having a birthday party people will bring gifts. At least the ones that were raised to be polite.

Yeah, I already said that...

flan