TOTALLY GEEKED!

Bunny hasn't received any grades yet. It's kindergarten. He gets stars on his worksheets and learns all of the material presented.

His IEP is related to his language processing disorder and he gets speech therapy through the school.

DS gets a swat on the rear end when he does something he knows darn well he isn't allowed to do and is ignoring DH and I verbally correcting then redirecting him three times. He's a very stubborn child (which my family just LOVES ... I was a stubborn child too) and enjoys battles of will. Unfortunately for him, I can out-stubborn a mule so he's fighting a losing battle. He will hit when he doesn't get his way and will get his hand swatted if he continues to hit after being told no. Lately though, he's been real good about stopping himself when he's about to hit someone after not getting his way. Also, I've found that either DH or I saying "do I have to get up?" when he's lost his listening ears and is ignoring us is quite effective. It's been quite some time since he's gotten swatted for anything.

He's very much in the tantrum stage though and will throw himself to the floor and have a kicking, screaming fit. At home, I don't care and will ignore the tantrums. In public, I've found that pointing at him, laughing, and saying 'oh look! He's melted!', 'well, don't you look silly!', or some other silly phrase after he's thrown himself on the ground gets him to at least roll over and smile up at us. It might take him awhile to get up but he's not screaming and not blocking people from walking so I don't much care about him laying there. Usually, other parents/grandparents will start laughing and engage with him, which he loves. Sometimes, he'll kneel down and stick his ear to the ground to prevent us from picking him up if he's trying to run off and can't because we've caught him. I laugh and ask him 'listening for a stampede?', which gets him giggling and on his feet. One thing we do if we know it's going to be awhile (such as if we're in a restaurant and it's busy), one of us will take him the bathroom periodically so he can stretch his legs and run around a bit. He gets antsy if he has to sit too long but does very well for his age (almost 21 months) so we avoid the tantrum by breaking up his sitting time into chunks.

Tangerine wrote:

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Bunny hasn't received any grades yet. It's kindergarten. He gets stars on his worksheets and learns all of the material presented.

His IEP is related to his language processing disorder and he gets speech therapy through the school.

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 Part of kindergarten is learning how to behave in school.  He just started.

lilyofcourse wrote:

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Caitlyn use to like to throw fits.

I'd bust her butt.

Then one day, we were home, she decided she needed to throw a fit.

She screamed, I screamed.

She flopped in the floor, I flopped in the floor.

What ever she did, I was right there, doing it louder and better and more exaggerated than she did it.

It didn't take long before she was standing in the doorway with her mouth open just watching.

I calmly got up and asked her how I did.

She shook her head and went to her room.

That was the end of it.

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 LOL! This is awesome!

We do this too minus the throwing ourselves on the floor. We're just not dexterous enough to do that.

chef wrote:

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lilyofcourse wrote:

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Caitlyn use to like to throw fits.

I'd bust her butt.

Then one day, we were home, she decided she needed to throw a fit.

She screamed, I screamed.

She flopped in the floor, I flopped in the floor.

What ever she did, I was right there, doing it louder and better and more exaggerated than she did it.

It didn't take long before she was standing in the doorway with her mouth open just watching.

I calmly got up and asked her how I did.

She shook her head and went to her room.

That was the end of it.

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 LOL! This is awesome!

We do this too minus the throwing ourselves on the floor. We're just not dexterous enough to do that.

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When dd had those fits, I would walk over her as she was screaming on the floor, right out the door. The teacher did the same thing the second time DD had a fit and she never had another one in school. Of course she wasn't having them at home at all by then, because I had nipped it in the bud.

Darn kids will try anything in school. 

just Czech wrote:

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When dd had those fits, I would walk over her as she was screaming on the floor, right out the door. The teacher did the same thing the second time DD had a fit and she never had another one in school. Of course she wasn't having them at home at all by then, because I had nipped it in the bud.

Darn kids will try anything in school. 

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 I won't put it past DS to act up in school at first. He really likes pushing boundaries.

just Czech wrote:

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chef wrote:

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just Czech wrote:

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When dd had those fits, I would walk over her as she was screaming on the floor, right out the door. The teacher did the same thing the second time DD had a fit and she never had another one in school. Of course she wasn't having them at home at all by then, because I had nipped it in the bud.

Darn kids will try anything in school. 

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 I won't put it past DS to act up in school at first. He really likes pushing boundaries.

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That's normal. You just don't let them get away with pushing those boundaries.  

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 And kids need to know the boundaries are there.

flan

chef wrote:

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just Czech wrote:

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chef wrote:

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just Czech wrote:

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When dd had those fits, I would walk over her as she was screaming on the floor, right out the door. The teacher did the same thing the second time DD had a fit and she never had another one in school. Of course she wasn't having them at home at all by then, because I had nipped it in the bud.

Darn kids will try anything in school. 

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 I won't put it past DS to act up in school at first. He really likes pushing boundaries.

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That's normal. You just don't let them get away with pushing those boundaries.  

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 Exactly. And DH wonders why I'm so worn out by the end of the day. I'm not a fan of this boundary-pushing crap but I am consistent.

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LOL! Get used to it, it has only just begun.

Wait till he's a teenager. Bwahaha

Grandchildren are our reward for not killing them as teenagers.  

It may not be popular in these parts... But... I have never spanked my kids. It's not in my genetic makeup to do that. I just don't have it in me. For the most part, things have worked out beautifully.

weltschmerz wrote:

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msrock wrote:

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It may not be popular in these parts... But... I have never spanked my kids. It's not in my genetic makeup to do that. I just don't have it in me. For the most part, things have worked out beautifully.

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Worked out beautifully here, too. He grew into a fine young man. 

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 Ditto!

flan

flan327 wrote:

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Ohfour wrote:

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weltschmerz wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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On the contrary - you don't spank in anger. The kid needs to understand why he is getting that punishment.

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I didn't spank at all. I can't very well teach him not to hit, and respond by hitting him. Spanking is still hitting, although your mileage may vary. 

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I spanked.  My kids never hit anyone.  I don't even recall that being a discussion.  Most kids don't hit... 

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 Wow! I disagree. I've never known a kid who didn't hit.

flan

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 Children should never be allowed to hit.  You nip that in the bud the very first time.  And YES, that is EXACTLY when a spanking is warranted.

lilyofcourse wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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Bottom line--he should not be having melt downs. If this and other negative behaviors are happening, it has nothing to do with the principal not liking him or IEP's or anything else. It needs to stop. Now.

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 Ok. Cause its a switch you can flip and it's all over.

 

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 My kids threw a fit--once.

 

If it's happening, whatever you are doing isn't working and that's not the fault of any principal or IEP or lack thereof.

Tang, when DD was in Kindergarten there were a few little boys who acted up quite a bit. I know all of them, and they are all nice, well behaved kids whose parents were shocked at their behavior. I think just the change of being in a classroom all day, and a new 'authority' figure and new rules had them out of sorts. After reading your post I got to thinking about them-they all outgrew it (now in 2nd grade). None of them turned into problem children. Keep working with him and he will be fine.

weltschmerz wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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flan327 wrote:

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Ohfour wrote:

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weltschmerz wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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On the contrary - you don't spank in anger. The kid needs to understand why he is getting that punishment.

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I didn't spank at all. I can't very well teach him not to hit, and respond by hitting him. Spanking is still hitting, although your mileage may vary. 

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I spanked.  My kids never hit anyone.  I don't even recall that being a discussion.  Most kids don't hit... 

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 Wow! I disagree. I've never known a kid who didn't hit.

flan

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 Children should never be allowed to hit.  You nip that in the bud the very first time.  And YES, that is EXACTLY when a spanking is warranted.

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 "Don't *smack* ever *smack* hit anyone *smack* ever!"

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 It works damn good.  You cant argue with success.

huskerbb wrote:

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weltschmerz wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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flan327 wrote:

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Ohfour wrote:

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weltschmerz wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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On the contrary - you don't spank in anger. The kid needs to understand why he is getting that punishment.

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I didn't spank at all. I can't very well teach him not to hit, and respond by hitting him. Spanking is still hitting, although your mileage may vary. 

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I spanked.  My kids never hit anyone.  I don't even recall that being a discussion.  Most kids don't hit... 

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 Wow! I disagree. I've never known a kid who didn't hit.

flan

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 Children should never be allowed to hit.  You nip that in the bud the very first time.  And YES, that is EXACTLY when a spanking is warranted.

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 "Don't *smack* ever *smack* hit anyone *smack* ever!"

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 It works damn good.  You cant argue with success.

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 Not spanking also "works damn good [sic]." You can't argue with success. I'm not going to teach my child not to hit by hitting him.

Ohfour wrote:

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Your definition of success is different than a lot of peoples succes...just sayin......

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 I raised a wonderful, kind, compassionate young man who has his own profitable business and tells me he loves me every single day.

Gosh, what a failure!

BEAT THEM INTO SUBMISSION....

flan

-- Edited by flan327 on Friday 25th of September 2015 06:49:55 PM

Spanked both my kids. DD at 25 is director of HR for a Pediatric dentistry conglomerate. Her and her husband own a house and have two kids. Both are in private pre schools. DS in a chef, working in various restaurants around Nashville. DsD is in graduate school, working with kids that have learning disabilities. DsS will graduate in May with a journalism degree...he already has a job with Sports South.

YeAh, we did pretty good. They were all spanked... At 25, 22, 21 & 21, they are all self sufficient. Not many can say that...

Ohfour wrote:

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Spanked both my kids. DD at 25 is director of HR for a Pediatric dentistry conglomerate. Her and her husband own a house and have two kids. Both are in private pre schools. DS in a chef, working in various restaurants around Nashville. DsD is in graduate school, working with kids that have learning disabilities. DsS will graduate in May with a journalism degree...he already has a job with Sports South.

YeAh, we did pretty good. They were all spanked... At 25, 22, 21 & 21, they are all self sufficient. Not many can say that...

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I can say that...WITHOUT beating my kids.

flan 

flan327 wrote:

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Ohfour wrote:

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Spanked both my kids. DD at 25 is director of HR for a Pediatric dentistry conglomerate. Her and her husband own a house and have two kids. Both are in private pre schools. DS in a chef, working in various restaurants around Nashville. DsD is in graduate school, working with kids that have learning disabilities. DsS will graduate in May with a journalism degree...he already has a job with Sports South.

YeAh, we did pretty good. They were all spanked... At 25, 22, 21 & 21, they are all self sufficient. Not many can say that...

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I can say that...WITHOUT beating my kids.

flan 

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 Spanking is not beating.  To compare the two is ignorant. 

flan327 wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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flan327 wrote:

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Ohfour wrote:

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Spanked both my kids. DD at 25 is director of HR for a Pediatric dentistry conglomerate. Her and her husband own a house and have two kids. Both are in private pre schools. DS in a chef, working in various restaurants around Nashville. DsD is in graduate school, working with kids that have learning disabilities. DsS will graduate in May with a journalism degree...he already has a job with Sports South.

YeAh, we did pretty good. They were all spanked... At 25, 22, 21 & 21, they are all self sufficient. Not many can say that...

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I can say that...WITHOUT beating my kids.

flan 

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 Spanking is not beating.  To compare the two is ignorant. 

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 I'm sure that makes all the difference in the world to the kid being "whupped."

flan

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 Trust me, my kids know the difference. 

If I say I am going to beat them, they laugh their little butts off, because they know I never would. 

If I say I am going to spank them, they do what they told.  And frankly, I rarely, if ever, have to spank them.  The threat works very well if they know you will if you have to.

The difference between spanking and beating is kind of like the difference between eating and pigging out of the difference between kissing and making out. It's pretty clear to those doing it and to those who witness it. But when talking about it, it can be a bit muddled.

My kids were spanked when it was warranted. They have both told me as adults that they are glad I spanked them. They also say that in the times they were spanked, they knew they had earned it and they also knew they had disappointed me and that hurt more than the spanking.

Ohfour wrote:

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Heck, here, kids are paddled in school. So whether or not YOU spank doesn't make one damn bit of difference.

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 I would NOT send my kid to that kind of school.

flan

flan327 wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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flan327 wrote:

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Ohfour wrote:

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Spanked both my kids. DD at 25 is director of HR for a Pediatric dentistry conglomerate. Her and her husband own a house and have two kids. Both are in private pre schools. DS in a chef, working in various restaurants around Nashville. DsD is in graduate school, working with kids that have learning disabilities. DsS will graduate in May with a journalism degree...he already has a job with Sports South.

YeAh, we did pretty good. They were all spanked... At 25, 22, 21 & 21, they are all self sufficient. Not many can say that...

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I can say that...WITHOUT beating my kids.

flan 

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 Spanking is not beating.  To compare the two is ignorant. 

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 I'm sure that makes all the difference in the world to the kid being "whupped."

flan

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 Actually I think it does. I was spanked, even with a wooden spoon at one point (which I don't agree with) but I know I was never beaten. I grew up knowing g I was loved and safe and my parents would never hurt me.