TOTALLY GEEKED!

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

RE: Crapsicles

weltschmerz · Guru

Ohfour wrote:
Heck, here, kids are paddled in school. So whether or not YOU spank doesn't make one damn bit of difference.

Seriously? That would NOT be allowed here, under any circumstances. I don't hit/spank my child, so his teacher certainly isn't allowed to.

Ohfour · Hooker

Absolutely serious. You would need to move to another state.

-- Edited by Ohfour on Saturday 26th of September 2015 03:52:17 PM

huskerbb · Guru

I don't care whether or not anyone spanks--but if your kid is acting up in school, it needs to stop. If your other methods are not working, then you need to do something else.

It is NOT the fault of the teachers, principal, some IEP not being followed or any such nonsense if YOUR kid is misbehaving and having "melt-downs".

weltschmerz · Guru

I guess I would.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

I am not judging anyone's choices but I will just state something I have found to be true. Kids who have their first classroom experience in kindergarten don't do well. They tend to have problems learning the routine and their teachers then label them as "trouble" or such. Kids who have classroom experiences earlier - all day preschool or at least 5 days a week half day preschool - tend to do MUCH better in kindergarten. The kids who do 2 hour preschool twice or three times a week don't do well. The transition is too hard. Every single kid I know who went to preschool 5 days a week for half a day at least transitioned very easily to kindergarten. The only kids I know who had issues were the ones who didnt spend any real time away from mom and dad. They never learned to socialize with other kids, they didn't learn to spend the day away from home, etc.

I recognize its only anecdotal evidence, but it has happened this way in literally every single family I know.

Flame away.

Tangerine · Guru

huskerbb wrote:
I don't care whether or not anyone spanks--but if your kid is acting up in school, it needs to stop. If your other methods are not working, then you need to do something else.

It is NOT the fault of the teachers, principal, some IEP not being followed or any such nonsense if YOUR kid is misbehaving and having "melt-downs".

I assume this means you think Bunny's behavior is my fault.

What parenting methods do you recommend, husker?

Your children always do exactly what you want them to do, right?

NAOW · Vette's SS

Mellow Momma wrote:
I am not judging anyone's choices but I will just state something I have found to be true. Kids who have their first classroom experience in kindergarten don't do well. They tend to have problems learning the routine and their teachers then label them as "trouble" or such. Kids who have classroom experiences earlier - all day preschool or at least 5 days a week half day preschool - tend to do MUCH better in kindergarten. The kids who do 2 hour preschool twice or three times a week don't do well. The transition is too hard. Every single kid I know who went to preschool 5 days a week for half a day at least transitioned very easily to kindergarten. The only kids I know who had issues were the ones who didnt spend any real time away from mom and dad. They never learned to socialize with other kids, they didn't learn to spend the day away from home, etc.

I recognize its only anecdotal evidence, but it has happened this way in literally every single family I know.

Flame away.

This has not been true in my experience. DD went from preschool (a few hours 3 days a week) to full day Kindergarten and did fine, as did most of the other kids from her school.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

That's awesome! Glad to hear it. All the people I know who's kids only went for 2 hours a day twice a week had a really really difficult time transitioning to all day kindergarten 5 days a week. It was too much too soon for them and they almost all ended up with behavior issues. The only kids I know who transitioned well were the ones who did full day preschool.

Lindley · Guru

Tangerine wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
I don't care whether or not anyone spanks--but if your kid is acting up in school, it needs to stop. If your other methods are not working, then you need to do something else.

It is NOT the fault of the teachers, principal, some IEP not being followed or any such nonsense if YOUR kid is misbehaving and having "melt-downs".
I assume this means you think Bunny's behavior is my fault.
What parenting methods do you recommend, husker?
Your children always do exactly what you want them to do, right?

Don't let anyone make you feel like you are at fault. You know your son and you will do what you feel is best. It is not unusual for kids his age to sometimes have a melt down. All kids sometimes act out at times.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Lindley wrote:
Tangerine wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
I don't care whether or not anyone spanks--but if your kid is acting up in school, it needs to stop. If your other methods are not working, then you need to do something else.

It is NOT the fault of the teachers, principal, some IEP not being followed or any such nonsense if YOUR kid is misbehaving and having "melt-downs".
I assume this means you think Bunny's behavior is my fault.
What parenting methods do you recommend, husker?
Your children always do exactly what you want them to do, right?
Don't let anyone make you feel like you are at fault. You know your son and you will do what you feel is best. It is not unusual for kids his age to sometimes have a melt down. All kids sometimes act out at times.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Don't let a wind bag full of hot air shake you.

Those of us who actually have a clue know it isn't always cut and dry.

huskerbb · Guru

Tangerine wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
I don't care whether or not anyone spanks--but if your kid is acting up in school, it needs to stop. If your other methods are not working, then you need to do something else.

It is NOT the fault of the teachers, principal, some IEP not being followed or any such nonsense if YOUR kid is misbehaving and having "melt-downs".
I assume this means you think Bunny's behavior is my fault.
What parenting methods do you recommend, husker?
Your children always do exactly what you want them to do, right?

It may not be your fault--but it certainly isn't the fault of the principal or the IEP or the school like you seem to want to blame.

It IS your responsibility to stop it.

Like I said, as far as "melt-downs" go--my kids did it--ONCE each.

As far as my parenting methods, I used a variety of things. I did spank on occasion. Took stuff away--video game systems and the like. Made sure if I told them to do or not do something I always followed through with negative consequences if they didn't or did do something.

Like I said--no, this may not be your fault--but it is your responsibility to see that it stops.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I was wondering, are you able to volunteer at the school?

Most of the time you watch a 10 minute video, they show you how to use the copier, and give you a brief tutorial on procedures.

I know if a parent has a presence in the school, their child is treated differently.

huskerbb · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
Don't let a wind bag full of hot air shake you.

Those of us who actually have a clue know it isn't always cut and dry.

Nice name-calling.

Beyond that, I know EXACTLY what I'm talking about. I've raised kids. It's the responsibility of the parent to correct behaviors.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

huskerbb wrote:
Tangerine wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
I don't care whether or not anyone spanks--but if your kid is acting up in school, it needs to stop. If your other methods are not working, then you need to do something else.

It is NOT the fault of the teachers, principal, some IEP not being followed or any such nonsense if YOUR kid is misbehaving and having "melt-downs".
I assume this means you think Bunny's behavior is my fault.
What parenting methods do you recommend, husker?
Your children always do exactly what you want them to do, right?
It may not be your fault--but it certainly isn't the fault of the principal or the IEP or the school like you seem to want to blame.
It IS your responsibility to stop it.
Like I said, as far as "melt-downs" go--my kids did it--ONCE each.
As far as my parenting methods, I used a variety of things. I did spank on occasion. Took stuff away--video game systems and the like. Made sure if I told them to do or not do something I always followed through with negative consequences if they didn't or did do something.

Like I said--no, this may not be your fault--but it is your responsibility to see that it stops.

Have you ever been the parent of a special needs child?

huskerbb · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
I was wondering, are you able to volunteer at the school?

Most of the time you watch a 10 minute video, they show you how to use the copier, and give you a brief tutorial on procedures.

I know if a parent has a presence in the school, their child is treated differently.

This isn't about how the child is treated. It's about how the child is acting.

This is not the fault of the school or anyone in it.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

huskerbb wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Don't let a wind bag full of hot air shake you.

Those of us who actually have a clue know it isn't always cut and dry.

Nice name-calling.

Beyond that, I know EXACTLY what I'm talking about. I've raised kids. It's the responsibility of the parent to correct behaviors.

Again, have you raised a special needs child?

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

I am not against spanking but I have used it rarely. Honestly, my oldest son was immune to it! It really didn't matter to him. So, I had to find other ways to discipline. For the most part, my other two kids really didn't require it.

huskerbb · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Don't let a wind bag full of hot air shake you.

Those of us who actually have a clue know it isn't always cut and dry.

Nice name-calling.

Beyond that, I know EXACTLY what I'm talking about. I've raised kids. It's the responsibility of the parent to correct behaviors.
Again, have you raised a special needs child?

Excuses. It still doesn't make such things the fault of the school--or any less the responsibility of the parent to handle it.

huskerbb · Guru

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
I am not against spanking but I have used it rarely. Honestly, my oldest son was immune to it! It really didn't matter to him. So, I had to find other ways to discipline. For the most part, my other two kids really didn't require it.

There also comes an age where it is really no longer effective, anyway. It works great on 3 and 4 year olds--but once my kids got to be about 7 or 8, it lost a lot of effectiveness.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

huskerbb wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Don't let a wind bag full of hot air shake you.

Those of us who actually have a clue know it isn't always cut and dry.

Nice name-calling.

Beyond that, I know EXACTLY what I'm talking about. I've raised kids. It's the responsibility of the parent to correct behaviors.
Again, have you raised a special needs child?
Excuses. It still doesn't make such things the fault of the school--or any less the responsibility of the parent to handle it.

So no.

Which means you have no idea what you are talking about.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

huskerbb wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
I am not against spanking but I have used it rarely. Honestly, my oldest son was immune to it! It really didn't matter to him. So, I had to find other ways to discipline. For the most part, my other two kids really didn't require it.
There also comes an age where it is really no longer effective, anyway. It works great on 3 and 4 year olds--but once my kids got to be about 7 or 8, it lost a lot of effectiveness.

When DD was 16, her dad and I lived apart because he got a job in a different state. She was full of sass and back talk and eye rolling. I had no backup as DH was only home on weekends. Well, one day at the grocery store she eye rolled and back talked and I looked right at her and slapped her mouth. I told her to NEVER talk to me again like that and especially not in public. An older woman who heard the whole episode play out, leaned in and said "keep up the good work mom" and winked at me as she walked by.

As much as I had talked to her about the sass and the eye rolling and about being disrespectful...it didn't make an impression. I had punished her, grounded her, removed privileges, etc. Nothing worked until the grocery store slap. She pretty much changed that moment and never looked back. I don't regret a thing and neither does she.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

The last time I spanked SS he was about eight or so. He wouldn't wipe when he went to the bathroom. I got sick of washing his nasty drawers. His parents talked, lectured, gave him time out, and even made him do some laundry. Didn't make an impression. One day I got fed up. Called him into the laundry room and asked him why a kid that old couldn't remember to wipe his butt. He didn't have an answer. I did. I tore his butt up in the laundry room. Told him that the next time I saw that nastiness I'd do it again. Hasn't happened since.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I don't remember the last time I spanked mine.

I don't think they were over 5 or 6.

Spanking was never more than a swat or two to get their attention.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Well, every parent needs to do what they feel is right. And not judge others for what they do. As long as a kid isn't being abused discipline is entirely up to the parent.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Well, every parent needs to do what they feel is right. And not judge others for what they do. As long as a kid isn't being abused discipline is entirely up to the parent.

Yep! As long as the parent is trying something and actually parenting.

huskerbb · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Don't let a wind bag full of hot air shake you.

Those of us who actually have a clue know it isn't always cut and dry.

Nice name-calling.

Beyond that, I know EXACTLY what I'm talking about. I've raised kids. It's the responsibility of the parent to correct behaviors.
Again, have you raised a special needs child?
Excuses. It still doesn't make such things the fault of the school--or any less the responsibility of the parent to handle it.
So no.
Which means you have no idea what you are talking about.

BS. Kids are kids--plus, I've taught more than a few that were special needs. I've was in on more IEP meetings than I can count.

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

Can bunny write yet? DD got in trouble for refusing to stay in her seat on the school bus. I made her write "I will stay in my seat on the bus" 50 times. Then I had her give it to the driver and apologize. She was 6 so I figured that was appropriate. Maybe bunny could do something similar. Didn't have bus issues after that.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

huskerbb wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Don't let a wind bag full of hot air shake you.

Those of us who actually have a clue know it isn't always cut and dry.

Nice name-calling.

Beyond that, I know EXACTLY what I'm talking about. I've raised kids. It's the responsibility of the parent to correct behaviors.
Again, have you raised a special needs child?
Excuses. It still doesn't make such things the fault of the school--or any less the responsibility of the parent to handle it.
So no.
Which means you have no idea what you are talking about.

BS. Kids are kids--plus, I've taught more than a few that were special needs. I've was in on more IEP meetings than I can count.

I don't believe you.

If that was the truth, you have more understanding of melt downs and how some special needs people experience things.

huskerbb · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Don't let a wind bag full of hot air shake you.

Those of us who actually have a clue know it isn't always cut and dry.

Nice name-calling.

Beyond that, I know EXACTLY what I'm talking about. I've raised kids. It's the responsibility of the parent to correct behaviors.
Again, have you raised a special needs child?
Excuses. It still doesn't make such things the fault of the school--or any less the responsibility of the parent to handle it.
So no.
Which means you have no idea what you are talking about.

BS. Kids are kids--plus, I've taught more than a few that were special needs. I've was in on more IEP meetings than I can count.
I don't believe you.
If that was the truth, you have more understanding of melt downs and how some special needs people experience things.

Whatever. I don't really care if you believe me, or not--but I taught high school for 7 years, and there were tons of IEP meetings.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

huskerbb wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Don't let a wind bag full of hot air shake you.

Those of us who actually have a clue know it isn't always cut and dry.

Nice name-calling.

Beyond that, I know EXACTLY what I'm talking about. I've raised kids. It's the responsibility of the parent to correct behaviors.
Again, have you raised a special needs child?
Excuses. It still doesn't make such things the fault of the school--or any less the responsibility of the parent to handle it.
So no.
Which means you have no idea what you are talking about.

BS. Kids are kids--plus, I've taught more than a few that were special needs. I've was in on more IEP meetings than I can count.
I don't believe you.
If that was the truth, you have more understanding of melt downs and how some special needs people experience things.
Whatever. I don't really care if you believe me, or not--but I taught high school for 7 years, and there were tons of IEP meetings.

High school.

You do realize that a kid in elementary school is completely different by high school.

Wait. Apparently not.

huskerbb · Guru

It's still not appropriate to have melt-downs in school no matter what the age.

We talk a good game on here about parents not doing enough discipline at home, about parents who blame the school when little Johnny misbehaves, etc...

We talk it--we don't, apparently, want to walk it.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

It does make a difference when the child having the melt down is 6 with special needs compared to a 16 year old.

Even a 16 yr old with SN will not be having melt downs 99.9% of the time.

But a 6 yr old is still learning.

huskerbb · Guru

Of course--and it's the responsibility of the parent to provide that learning, not blame the school.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

No one is blaming the school.

Stating facts from personal experiences is not blaming.

It's experience.

huskerbb · Guru

Um, the OP referenced the parent thinking the vice principal is singling the kid out and that she thinks there is some issue with the school in reference to the IEP.

That is blaming the school--or someone(s) in it.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

huskerbb wrote:
Um, the OP referenced the parent thinking the vice principal is singling the kid out and that she thinks there is some issue with the school in reference to the IEP.

That is blaming the school--or someone(s) in it.

No. That's both a valid question and a valid concern.

Because kids DO get singled out.

IEPs are not always followed.

And then there is the chance of that one authority figure with an ego the size of Mt. Rushmore who thinks they know better than everyone and just throws wild accusations around.

huskerbb · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Um, the OP referenced the parent thinking the vice principal is singling the kid out and that she thinks there is some issue with the school in reference to the IEP.

That is blaming the school--or someone(s) in it.
No. That's both a valid question and a valid concern.
Because kids DO get singled out.
IEPs are not always followed.
And then there is the chance of that one authority figure with an ego the size of Mt. Rushmore who thinks they know better than everyone and just throws wild accusations around.

That is EXACTLY what I'm talking about. You said "no one" was blaming the school--and you were dead wrong.

Pretty classic case of a parent blaming the school when their child misbehaves. The "little Johnny can do nothing wrong" syndrome.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

You're just being a hard head.

No one said anything of the sort.

Argue with yourself.

I'm done.

huskerbb · Guru

Um, look up 4 or 5 posts.

You said "no one is blaming the school". That is exactly what you said, so to say "no one said anything of the sort"--you are wrong. You said it.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

husker...

Consider the source.

Lily knows EVERYTHING.

flan

Lindley · Guru

School officials can be wrong and do make poor judgments sometimes and it's the parents job to be their advocates. Tang knows her child better then anyone here and sounds like she handled it fine.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lindley wrote:
School officials can be wrong and do make poor judgments sometimes and it's the parents job to be their advocates. Tang knows her child better then anyone here and sounds like she handled it fine.

Very well said!

flan

huskerbb · Guru

It's the "my kid can do no wrong so it must be the schools fault" syndrome that we all pay lip service on here that it is not good. Yet here we are.

Tangerine · Guru

I really don't think that was the position I took about the situation in the OP, husker.

huskerbb · Guru

Tangerine wrote:
I really don't think that was the position I took about the situation in the OP, husker.

Ok. Maybe i read more into it than what was there. It just seemed like you were pretty quick to accuse the vice principal of singling your child out.

Tangerine · Guru

I admit I was quick to worry that that might be happening. But worrying was all I did. Except coming here where I knew other mothers with experience with this sort of thing could talk me down.
And they did. Thank you my geeks.

huskerbb · Guru

Tangerine wrote:
I admit I was quick to worry that that might be happening. But worrying was all I did. Except coming here where I knew other mothers with experience with this sort of thing could talk me down.
And they did. Thank you my geeks.

Well, that's what I was going by. I know it's a touchy subject, but I've been on both sides of it, and except in very rare circumstances, it's not the school, teacher, or whatever. Plus in many cases where it is, they are usually universally unfair to everyone.