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TOPIC: NSFW - 5 Insane Things You Experience With A Duplicate Vagina

ed11563

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Date: Sep 24, 2015

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(Part 1 of 2) 5 Insane Things You Experience With A Duplicate Vagina By Robert Evans, Anonymous September 20, 2015 916,076 views Viral Facebook Twitter Add to Favorites Genitals tend to be a one-per-customer sort of affair. You're usually issued a penis or a vagina at birth, and without medical intervention, that's the only pelvic accessory you'll ever wear. And as with any human organs, there are some people out there whose genitals deviate from the mainstream. Some men have huge penises, some women have vaginas that squirt during orgasm for reasons scientists occasionally and uncomfortably try to explain. But sometimes, our sex organs double up, and people end up with two thingies where there should be only one ... um, thingy. Cracked wanted to learn just how much weirder that makes the already-weird world of human sexuality, so we talked to two women with duplicated sex organs. Kelsey was born with two vaginas, and Carly was born with two uteri. They said ... #5. It's Surprisingly Hard To Detect (Which Makes For A Strange Surprise Later) Keith Brofsky/Photodisc/Getty Images You might think that being born with multiple sets of genitalia would be an immediately obvious condition. You would also think that such an affliction would be commonly recognized, if for no other reason than the simple fact that no man with two functional penises would ever keep that information to himself (we assume there's a whole mountain somewhere out in Nepal where the bi-dicked men of the world gather to shout their diagnoses out from the crown of the earth). However, as Kelsey discovered, it doesn't work like that for a female: "When I was 11, I was on a trip and I got my first period. I was having trouble ... I tried to buy tampons, but pads and tampons weren't working. So I asked my grandmother if maybe I had two vaginas, and she said, 'Oh, that's impossible. Don't worry about it.' I got insurance around age 19 and had my first physical. I asked the nurse that same question in confidence, and she said, 'Oh yeah, it's totally possible. I'll talk to the doctor.' They did the physical, and I do!" Dangubic/iStock/Getty Images "Welcome to the life of creepy pickup lines." So she lived for nearly two decades without realizing that she had a bonus vagina, and it turns out that's typical. We spoke with a gynecologist, -- pseudonym Virgil Ina, MD. -- and he told us that Vaginal septums often go undiagnosed, well, forever. "This is definitely one of those things that can fly right under the radar for someone's entire life. A lot of them aren't found until pregnancy, or until someone dies and gets an autopsy." As he explained it, developing female fetuses have two ducts on either side of the body, "kind of like pool noodles." These ducts eventually fuse during development, but there's sometimes a failure to fuse, and that fetus winds up with duplicate parts. Dr. Ina sent us this helpful picture: Via How-treat.com Sorry, Guy-Who-Came-Here-Hoping-For-Pictures. This is as explicit as it's gonna get. Kelsey's particular flavor of vaginal septum looks completely normal on the outside. She has a small flap of skin separating one vaginal opening from the other, sort of like a trick door in a magician's closet. Depending on which side of the flap you enter from, it felt like a Standard Issue Vagina, even to a doctor. "... you can do an exam on one side, see a perfectly normal vagina and uterus," says Dr. Ina. "And then another person pushes the tissue to another side, ends up in the left vagina and sees a perfectly normal cervix and vagina. It can be very discrete and hard to gauge." But wouldn't the person, uh, eventually figure it out herself? As Kelsey says, "I masturbated. Who doesn't? But I've got short arms ... I couldn't reach all the way down there, so I had to wait until I had a doctor to find it. It doesn't change the outer structure -- outside is normal, the inside is doubled. So I only have one clitoris, unfortunately." Keith Brofsky/Photodisc/Getty Images So no extra fun bits, but twice as many ice-cold speculums. Hoo. ***ing. Ray. Kelsey's case is surprisingly common; about one in 200 women have some variation of this deformation. And believe it or not, it can get more complicated than having two vaginas ... #4. It Can Mean Two Pregnancies From Two Different Fathers Jeffrey Hamilton/Photodisc/Getty Images Once Kelsey tested positive for 200 percent of her lifetime-recommended allowance of vagina, the doctors had to see if any of her other parts had doubled up in the womb. "It turns out that I have one uterus, separated by a septum,"* she says. Essentially, her uterus is divided into two sections -- one per vagina. But there is a variation of her condition called "double uterus" or uterus didelphys. Our other source for this article, Carly, wound up pulling this card from the great Grab Bag of Bits that our genes occasionally prank us with. Via How-treat.com Reminder: This grab bag. Real funny, nature. She discovered her condition at age 17. "My gynecologist brought my mom in and said, 'I need to tell you something.' I was like 'Oh **, I'm pregnant' at first." But it turned out that she wasn't pregnant; she had two internal baby factories rather than the industry standard of one. Carly was distraught at first. "I asked my mom if she did coke when she was pregnant with me. She didn't find that funny." [Editorial Note: Carly would like us to add that her mom was definitely not on drugs during the pregnancy.] The question on most of your minds right now is probably, "Can she get pregnant in both uteri at once, resulting in some sort of body-destroying, Alien-type birthing?" Well, we asked Dr. Ina most of that question. "... both [uteri] are viable. Both certainly can be viable and ovulate at the same time, and allegedly this can get very dramatic. You can get two pregnancies that aren't exactly timed together. And they can be from different fathers as well." Wavebreakmedia Ltd/Wavebreak Media/Getty Images Which could make for one hell of an interesting Lamaze class. Unfortunately, having two ovens in which to cook buns can actually make the whole person-baking process even more difficult, even with one father ... #3. Sperm Get Confused About Where To Go michelangelus/iStock/Getty Images "[My doctor] told me I'm less likely to get pregnant because 'sperm are stupid,'" Carly says. "When they reach the septum [the flap separating one uterine opening from the other], they get confused and don't know what to do." In the sperm's defense, they weren't expecting to suddenly wind up on Let's Make A Deal. That said, confused sperm are only one part of the problem Carly will have to deal with if she wants to get pregnant. "I'll be a high-risk pregnancy ... When I decide to have kids, I will have to have a c-section. My cervix won't open far enough." Dr. Ina went into more detail: "Because of that confined space, [there is an] increased risk of a uterine rupture, which is a profoundly painful complication. The upper portion of the uterus tears before the baby can exit." He also pointed out that those double uteri still share the space of one uterus. Carly isn't twice the size of a normal person, after all. "As a result of that, you can have miscarriages because there's not enough room in whatever side gets pregnant. You can have intrauterine growth restriction, so the baby is abnormally small. And because there's extra pressure ... the baby can be pushed to term before its ready." Photodisc/Photodisc/Getty Images Which, as you'll recall, is a bad scene for everybody. Carly isn't planning to have kids yet, but she admits that she's worried her condition will make it impossible. Some of that is made more difficult by the rareness of her condition. For example, while she lived in New Jersey, Carly says that her gynecologist was "absolutely brilliant" and helped her understand a lot about what was going on inside her dual baby chambers. But today Carly lives in rural Colorado. "The doctors here tried to tell me I only have one uterus ... they've never seen it before." Keith Brofsky/Photodisc/Getty Images "Sorry, can't have more than one. It's right here on the form." Unfortunately, Carly and Kelsey get painfully regular reminders of their conditions, because ... __________________ The Principle of Least Interest: He who cares least about a relationship, controls it. Always misinterpret when you can.

ed11563

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(Part 2 of 2 )

#2. Double Parts = Double Periods

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Yes, twice as many vaginas or uteri can mean living through two periods at once. Remember that that's how Carly first found out about her condition. The gynecologist visit that led to the discovery happened because her mother insisted that Carly got "crazy" during her period and wanted her checked out. But Carly had a good reason for said craziness:

"I was getting two periods in a month's span. That was pretty ****ty. But the worst thing was trying to use a tampon. My mom was like, 'Just put it in!' and it hurt so much, because I kept hitting the septum. Eventually I figured out how to slide it into one side or the other. But how do you explain that to everyone?"

Medioimages/Photodisc/Stockbyte/Getty Images
"'Comfort glide' my ass, Playtex."

Kelsey isn't spared this particularly ****ty side effect, either:

"I actually get two menstrual cycles. So they either happen in shifts [where] I have one, wait a week, and then have another, [or] one period will happen and it'll be months before I have another ... the longest time I didn't have one was six months. I was so scared I was going to end up on that 'I didn't know I was pregnant' show. The unpredictability is the worst part. There'll be a really long one, no period for almost a year, and then two right back to back. This one time, I had a period and it got me really badly sick -- lots of blood in the other uterus. It was not a fun time."

Dr. Ina was a little more colorful with his description. "If [a woman has] two uteri and their vagina is split ... it's a double-barreled shotgun, basically. They need to use two tampons for adequate protection." That's right: A medical doctor described twin menstruating vaginas as a double-barreled shotgun.

Exclusive Visual/iStock/Getty Images
"Which is also what it will feel like your stomach got shot by."

To be clear, being adequately protected doesn't mean being secure from pain. Carly's lonely single vagina has to deal with two menstruating uteri, and no amount of tampons can prevent her nightmarish cramps. "I have the most intense cramps ... two [uteri] contracting at once. The pain [is so bad] that nothing, not one thing except for my medical marijuana, has helped me with that. It's literally the only thing that helps. I've tried Advil, prescription-strength Ibuprofen, Aleve, Motrin ... Ponstel just made me cry every day. It was awful."

Unfortunately, Carly and Kelsey also have to deal with some awkward social problems, which no amount of marijuana -- medicinal or otherwise -- can alleviate ...

#1. It Makes For A Problematic Love Life, And Lots Of Awkward Conversations

Stockbyte/Stockbyte/Getty Images

First of all, as thunderously unreliable as it is, the rhythm method is the only real form of contraception Kelsey can use outside of condoms. "I can't take birth control [pills] for other reasons, and because of my bi-gina, I can't have an IUD. It'd have to be specially made for my body type."

As you can imagine, this leads to some awkward moments on dates. The effect it can have on contraception and fertility is worth bringing up before sex happens, but the responses some men have to that revelation can kill the mood fast. "One person asked me 'Is it like having a threesome with one person?' I'm like, dude, you just ruined any chance you ever had of me having sex with you."

Paul Vasarhelyi/iStock/Getty Images
"... Also, how the hell do you think a threesome works?"

Kelsey noted that it can also cause problems with the kind of men who don't "get" foreplay. So on the upside, it's a decent way of screening your partners for sexual competence. However, the downside is that it can be a painful screening process. "If you get it in the wrong [vagina], it hurts [because] one is kind of malformed. You can penetrate it, but it hurts really bad." This causes problem even in long-term relationships: "My partner and I were drunk once, and the ... logistics weren't helpful then, either. It went in the wrong one, and I was like 'WRONG HOLE,' and he thought I meant in my ass. So I had to be like, 'No, the other wrong hole!'"

Carly is married now, so she hopefully never has to explain herself again. But both of them still have to deal with the dumb questions of well-meaning people. "I've had people ask me so many weird questions, and too many of them tend to be creepy," Kelsey says. "When you tell guys, there's like this ... dull moment of incomprehension, and then a really strange mood takes over. Not just guys I'm dating, either. I had a platonic friend who told me out of the blue, 'I bet you could fit like, ten dicks in you.' I don't know if maybe [he thought] that was flirting? It didn't work. Another common question was, 'If we had a threesome, could you get pregnant from both of us?' And I'm like, 'Why would I want to have a threesome? Especially with you?'" She added that, "Men can't help but be creepy, because they always try to do it in some seductive way."

RTimages/iStock/Getty Images
Though where he got the idea that multiple pregnancies were seductive is anybody's guess.

And yet women ask questions that are even worse. "A lot of women ask if they could touch it," says Kelsey. "Like my best friend, when I told her, she was like 'I WANT TO TOUCH IT' and I'm like 'OK, I'm cool with that. But why?' It was just something she'd never felt before, and she wanted to know what it was like." To be fair, if a guy you know confided that he had two fully-formed penises, you would immediately ask if you could A) see them, and B) if he were able to gyrate his hips in such a way to spin his twin genitals like dual helicopter blades. However, asking to touch your friend's abnormal private parts definitely crosses come kind of line.

In Carly's case, the questions got even more uncomfortably personal. "The weirdest question I get is, 'Did you eat your twin?' That one blows my mind. At least three people have asked me that in my life." If you're wondering this (And if so, WHY?) Dr. Ina assures us that neither vaginal septum nor uterus didelphys is caused by intrauterine cannibalism. Considering that this is the same medical mind which coined the phrase "double-barreled shotgun vagina," we feel confident in his conclusion.

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The Principle of Least Interest: He who cares least about a relationship, controls it.

Always misinterpret when you can.

Tinydancer

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Wow. That's all I got. Just when I think you couldn't post anything weirder I realize you don't know what's appropriate. __________________ “Until I discovered cooking, I was never really interested in anything.” ― Julia Child ―

Nobody Just Nobody

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Tinydancer wrote: Wow. That's all I got. Just when I think you couldn't post anything weirder I realize you don't know what's appropriate. I would have to agree with you there. __________________ “You may shoot me with your words, you may cut me with your eyes, you may kill me with your hatefulness, but still, like air, I'll rise!” ― Maya Angelou

Tinydancer

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I'm waiting for flan to come chastise me for picking on the perfect gentleman... __________________ “Until I discovered cooking, I was never really interested in anything.” ― Julia Child ―

ed11563

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Tinydancer wrote:
Wow. That's all I got. Just when I think you couldn't post anything weirder I realize you don't know what's appropriate.

First, you read the subject, you didn't have to read the article.

Second, this subject came up in my work a number of years ago. It's rare, and I found it interesting.

Third, I can decide what's appropriate for me to post. You think anything having to do with sex is inappropriate, I'm not thrilled with some of the religious themes her. And I am free to not read them, I'm not free to take offense ... and I don't.

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The Principle of Least Interest: He who cares least about a relationship, controls it.

Always misinterpret when you can.

Tinydancer

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Date: Sep 24, 2015

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I did read the article. This is just weird and disgusting but I guess if you get someone to talk about sex with a duplicate vagina you get what you need. Ewwwww. __________________ “Until I discovered cooking, I was never really interested in anything.” ― Julia Child ―

lilyofcourse

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Date: Sep 25, 2015

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I thought it was interesting for a change. It does have the NSFW stamp. Now. Where it goes from here is anyone's guess. __________________ A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo. Charley Harper

Tinydancer

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Please...ed posted this article so we could talk about "duplicate vaginas" Where did you think it would go? Please talk about it with ed if you want. I'll just check in from time to time to see if he's enjoying himself. __________________ “Until I discovered cooking, I was never really interested in anything.” ― Julia Child ―

lilyofcourse

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I had no idea this happened. I had never heard of it.

I learned something.

I'm curious as to why surgery isn't in order in some of these.

I agree that Ed tends to post inappropriate things more often than not.

But this hasn't set off my WTH radar yet.

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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.

Tignanello

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I definitely learned something here. I'd no idea this was a thing. Although I feel like Gray's Anatomy did a thing on this . . . __________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Not today, Satan. Not today.

chef

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I'm glad I do not have any of these conditions. __________________ ~At Gnome in the Kitchen~

Nobody Just Nobody

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Well, ed has every right to post whatever and however many sex articles he wants. We also have the right to be as creeped out as we want. __________________ “You may shoot me with your words, you may cut me with your eyes, you may kill me with your hatefulness, but still, like air, I'll rise!” ― Maya Angelou

Dona Worry Be Happy

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I thought it was fascinating! I had never heard of it eeither. I too wonder why surgery isn't an option, especially for the woman that may not be able to have kids. __________________

Lawyerlady

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Dona Worry Be Happy wrote: I thought it was fascinating! I had never heard of it eeither. I too wonder why surgery isn't an option, especially for the woman that may not be able to have kids. How do you remove a vagina? I mean - the uterus, yeah - but a vagina? That's never been done. __________________ LawyerLady I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.

Dona Worry Be Happy

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I have no idea. It seems to me that it must be possible. I mean, we have gender reassignment surgery, surely this would be less difficult. __________________

I know what to do_sometimes

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I imagine one side could be sewn shut. But perhaps that causes other problems. It is very interesting, I didn't know this condition existed. __________________ Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug. Frozen is the bestest movie ever, NOT!

lilyofcourse

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Lawyerlady wrote:
Dona Worry Be Happy wrote:
I thought it was fascinating! I had never heard of it eeither. I too wonder why surgery isn't an option, especially for the woman that may not be able to have kids.
How do you remove a vagina? I mean - the uterus, yeah - but a vagina? That's never been done.

The way I read it, it isnt a whole other vaginal tube. (Would tube be the right word?) It's like your nose. Two passages leading into one.

But even if there are two totally different vaginas, a vagina is removed when someone has gender reassignment surgery.

__________________

A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.

lilyofcourse

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And removing one uterus so a person doesn't have two periods a month is the most humane thing you could do for someone. __________________ A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo. Charley Harper

Lawyerlady

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lilyofcourse wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Dona Worry Be Happy wrote:
I thought it was fascinating! I had never heard of it eeither. I too wonder why surgery isn't an option, especially for the woman that may not be able to have kids.
How do you remove a vagina? I mean - the uterus, yeah - but a vagina? That's never been done.
The way I read it, it isnt a whole other vaginal tube. (Would tube be the right word?) It's like your nose. Two passages leading into one.
But even if there are two totally different vaginas, a vagina is removed when someone has gender reassignment surgery.

No - it is not removed, it is changed and used.

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LawyerLady

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lilyofcourse

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Yes. But I'm sure something could be done. __________________ A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo. Charley Harper

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