TOTALLY GEEKED!

"she was using the device’s camera to stream and record images of our bedroom."

 

Foolish guy believes she was spying on his KIDS????

The camera was watching HIM.

 

ed11563 wrote:

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"she was using the device’s camera to stream and record images of our bedroom."

 

Foolish guy believes she was spying on his KIDS????

The camera was watching HIM.

 

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You could be right.  I see this relationship going nowhere.  Like husker prude overlooked the fact that his daughter was snooping in her stuff.  He may be one that thinks his kids can do no wrong. 

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

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Lindley wrote:

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You could be right.  I see this relationship going nowhere.  Like husker prude overlooked the fact that his daughter was snooping in her stuff.  He may be one that thinks his kids can do no wrong. 

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 I don't think she was spying on him.  I don't think everything is about sex.  I think she doesn't like teenagers, he has his head up his ass about his perfect little girls, and this relationship is doomed for failure.  Pretty much what husker said.  Teens are known to borrow scarves, earrings, and other tidbits.  Is it right?  No.  But they do it.  If this g/f doesn't like kids she needs to split.  And he need to realize his girls overstep sometimes.

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 Heck, even if you like teenagers though, most wouldn't like one rifling through their underwear drawer or jewelry box. I think she knew the girl was snooping and also knew the dad would rugsweep it if she brought it to his attention, so she gathered her proof before having the conversation. Either way, not a great way to have a relationship and I agree, it's not going to go far.

Prudie is way off. The guy is blind to how his daughter behaves, happens a lot in divorce situations, the parent just doesn't want to see the bad and turns that blind eye. I would say this is more about him not making sure everyone's personal space is respected than dumping it on the GF. The daughter has not been taught boundaries. The GF knows this, doesn't want to call him out on it but wants the evidence of what she suspected the daughter was doing.

I think both of them need to wise up.

Ohfour wrote:

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Hold up, here. We don't know that the daughter was doing anything. Cray cray girl friend says she caught her going through her drawers. That may not be true. If she did have proof, why didn't she show dad?

She was spying on her BF.

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 Well, this - "She also says she captured images of my daughter rifling through her dresser drawers"- should be easy enough to check, shouldn't it?  But he doesn't say he did.

huskerbb wrote:

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Ohfour wrote:

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Hold up, here. We don't know that the daughter was doing anything. Cray cray girl friend says she caught her going through her drawers. That may not be true. If she did have proof, why didn't she show dad?

She was spying on her BF.

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 I think we can assume he looked at the footage.  If he didn't, then it is all speculation.

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 That's what we do, we take the thought of someone and dissect to the 8th degree and  speculate.  We should re name the board to the GT Speculation forum.  

I know what to do_sometimes wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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Ohfour wrote:

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Hold up, here. We don't know that the daughter was doing anything. Cray cray girl friend says she caught her going through her drawers. That may not be true. If she did have proof, why didn't she show dad?

She was spying on her BF.

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 I think we can assume he looked at the footage.  If he didn't, then it is all speculation.

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 That's what we do, we take the thought of someone and dissect to the 8th degree and  speculate.  We should re name the board to the GT Speculation forum.  

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 I would just find it a little hard to believe he wouldn't have mentioned it if he hadn't looked or there was nothing on it.

Ohfour wrote:

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If he looked at the footage, why didn't he say so? He said she told him she had pictures. Why didn't she show him if she had proof?

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 I think she did.  i think we can infer he saw the footage.  

Ohfour wrote:

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Absolutely not. He said his GF said she had proof. He didn't say, she showed me the footage and I saw for myself.

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 Anyone would ask to see the proof before writing a letter to an advice columnist.  No way he didn't look.

Ohfour wrote:

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If he looked at the footage, why didn't he say so? He said she told him she had pictures. Why didn't she show him if she had proof?

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 Maybe he refused to look at it?  I have no idea why it would be worded that way.  It IS part of the issue.  If the daughter was getting into her stuff and dear dad wouldn't believe it - that's part of the issue, isn't it? 

Lawyerlady wrote:

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Ohfour wrote:

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If he looked at the footage, why didn't he say so? He said she told him she had pictures. Why didn't she show him if she had proof?

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 Maybe he refused to look at it?  I have no idea why it would be worded that way.  It IS part of the issue.  If the daughter was getting into her stuff and dear dad wouldn't believe it - that's part of the issue, isn't it? 

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 Or maybe there's actually no footage? And the daughter ISNT getting into her stuff?

Ohfour wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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Ohfour wrote:

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If he looked at the footage, why didn't he say so? He said she told him she had pictures. Why didn't she show him if she had proof?

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 Maybe he refused to look at it?  I have no idea why it would be worded that way.  It IS part of the issue.  If the daughter was getting into her stuff and dear dad wouldn't believe it - that's part of the issue, isn't it? 

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 Or maybe there's actually no footage? And the daughter ISNT getting into her stuff?

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 That's exactly why he would have demandee to look And it would stretch credulity to think he didn't.

Lawyerlady wrote:

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But if there was no footage - he would have said that, too.

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 That's what I think.  I just think there's no way he wouldn't have demanded to see proof--and if there was no such proof, that would be pretty important information.  

 

 

lilyofcourse wrote:

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It isn't uncommon for any of us to get into each others dresser drawer.

Looking for something for someone and get in the wrong drawer.

Even if the daughter was going through the drawers, it doesn't mean anything.


Why would be helpful.

Either way, the LW has a live in who doesn't like his kids.

The live in doesn't like kids.

The LW has kids.

Connect the dots anyone?

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 Uh...no.  My kids don't belong rifling through my drawers.  That would get in trouble for that.  If they need something, they need to ask. 

And this is the woman's daughter - she is not even a step-daughter.  That type of familiarity is obviously not welcome.

So you've never put something of theirs in your drawer by mistake?

They have never been instructed to retrieve something from your drawers?

I keep their daily school fund allotments in my drawer. They know where it is and they go get it.

I have been known to stock up on things like batteries and toss them in a drawer.

We are all welcome into dad's drawer for a hanky or the change drawer.

I know permission is vital. Not saying there shouldn't be a need for privacy and permission.

But the crux of the problem is that he has kids and a live in that doesn't like kids.

That's never going to end well.

lilyofcourse wrote:

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So you've never put something of theirs in your drawer by mistake?

They have never been instructed to retrieve something from your drawers?

I keep their daily school fund allotments in my drawer. They know where it is and they go get it.

I have been known to stock up on things like batteries and toss them in a drawer.

We are all welcome into dad's drawer for a hanky or the change drawer.

I know permission is vital. Not saying there shouldn't be a need for privacy and permission.

But the crux of the problem is that he has kids and a live in that doesn't like kids.

That's never going to end well.

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 If something of theirs is in my drawer by mistake, I will find it.  And no, I do not keep family funds or batteries in my personal drawers.  They are in a kitchen drawer. 

If they need to borrow something of mine, they ask.  They don't take.

huskerbb wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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lilyofcourse wrote:

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So you've never put something of theirs in your drawer by mistake?

They have never been instructed to retrieve something from your drawers?

I keep their daily school fund allotments in my drawer. They know where it is and they go get it.

I have been known to stock up on things like batteries and toss them in a drawer.

We are all welcome into dad's drawer for a hanky or the change drawer.

I know permission is vital. Not saying there shouldn't be a need for privacy and permission.

But the crux of the problem is that he has kids and a live in that doesn't like kids.

That's never going to end well.

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 If something of theirs is in my drawer by mistake, I will find it.  And no, I do not keep family funds or batteries in my personal drawers.  They are in a kitchen drawer. 

If they need to borrow something of mine, they ask.  They don't take.

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 Yeah.  That would be a weird place to store batteries.

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 Unless they are for sex toys, and then I sure don't want them rifling through that!

Lawyerlady wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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lilyofcourse wrote:

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So you've never put something of theirs in your drawer by mistake?

They have never been instructed to retrieve something from your drawers?

I keep their daily school fund allotments in my drawer. They know where it is and they go get it.

I have been known to stock up on things like batteries and toss them in a drawer.

We are all welcome into dad's drawer for a hanky or the change drawer.

I know permission is vital. Not saying there shouldn't be a need for privacy and permission.

But the crux of the problem is that he has kids and a live in that doesn't like kids.

That's never going to end well.

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 If something of theirs is in my drawer by mistake, I will find it.  And no, I do not keep family funds or batteries in my personal drawers.  They are in a kitchen drawer. 

If they need to borrow something of mine, they ask.  They don't take.

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 Yeah.  That would be a weird place to store batteries.

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 Unless they are for sex toys, and then I sure don't want them rifling through that!

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Actually, I start stocking up on batteries about this time of year. For things they get Christmas.

Batteries, adapters, earplugs, connections.

I keep things like school supplies, pencils, markers, tape, that kind of thing in there too.

If I leave it out some where else, my nephew and niece get into it. And things go missing.

Yes. They have.

Those drawers that daughter was allegedly going through were in her father's room as well.

Could have gone in the wrong drawer by mistake.

lilyofcourse wrote:

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And here's the thing.

There is no proof provided that says the daughter was even going through the drawers. Without proof, it's the word of one against the other.

The Father actually caught the GF spying.

So.

The only proof he has is of a spying GF and not a nosey daughter.

Let's not confuse the issue or make the daughter the villain.

The LW is asking how to deal with the GF.

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 ???  theres video of it.  

If the kids aren't where they aren't supposed to be, there would be no spying.  She didn't put the camera in their room.

lilyofcourse wrote:

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Yes. They have.

Those drawers that daughter was allegedly going through were in her father's room as well.

Could have gone in the wrong drawer by mistake.

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 Shouldnt be going through his, either.  Besides, once you open the first drawer, it's not a mistake after that.

I agree with husker and LL on this. Kids don't need to be going through the drawers of an adult. The only time my kids get into a drawer is if I've asked them to. And the only time I've ever asked is when I tell SS to get the nail clippers out of my top bedside table. If you want something of mine then ask. You do not go traipsing through my things to find it. Everyone in the house deserves respect and privacy. I would bet ten bucks if the g/f was snooping through the girls bedroom both the girl and her father would go bat chit crazy.