DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for 22 years. My father-in-law's health declined and he died last year. My mother-in-law, "Babe," and I didn't get on well in the past, but we have seemed to patch things up.
Since my father-in-law's death, she has become very needy. As a result, my father has been at her beck and call, and I have become closer to her, too. My mother has started to become suspicious of the relationship between Babe and my dad. They have been seen drinking together and ignoring my mother.
Abby, this has become a horrible mess. Babe says she has kissed my father and they are attracted to each other. She has no regret about her behavior. I think she's a hussy! My mother is now suicidal, and it's all I can do to keep her afloat. I am a cancer survivor and don't need any of this stupid drama. Please help. These people are all pushing 70. This is not only affecting my marriage, but also my life. -- M.I.L. FROM HELL
DEAR M.I.L. FROM HELL: Babe may be "needy," but she appears to also be a shameless predator, and your father appears to have the judgment of a 16-year-old. Please tell your mother that suicide is not the answer, and she should not consider doing your father the "favor" of turning him into a grieving widower. It may take the help of a therapist to help her regain her sense of balance, and possibly the services of a lawyer to help her convince her husband that a divorce would be something he can't afford at this point in his life.
You should not be trying to handle this on your own. For your own sake, make yourself less available to your mother-in-law. That she would brag to you about trying to wreck your parents' marriage is beyond the pale.
Where is her husband in all this? maybe he can intervene & take care of some of mom's needs so she doesn't have to call on LW's father. Or he can confront her on her inappropriate actions. As well as LW confronting her father.
Yeah I meant the LW's husband. MIL's son. He should be putting the reins on his crazy mom.
This. but this is a two fold problem. She says her MIL is so terrible, and maybe she is, but her own father is off the rails, too. he needs a come to Jesus meeting, also.
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I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.
Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.
Yeah I meant the LW's husband. MIL's son. He should be putting the reins on his crazy mom.
This. but this is a two fold problem. She says her MIL is so terrible, and maybe she is, but her own father is off the rails, too. he needs a come to Jesus meeting, also.
Totally agree & I said as much in first post. This one was just to clarify who I meant by husband. LW's dad's actions are also unacceptable & need to be stopped cold.
I would just go bat chit crazy on all of them and tell them I didn't have time for all their nonsense and it was going to come to a stop and now.
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“You may shoot me with your words, you may cut me with your eyes, you may kill me with your hatefulness, but still, like air, I'll rise!” ― Maya Angelou