TOTALLY GEEKED!

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Daughter won't help repay the loans taken out for her schooling

huskerbb · Guru

Parents of young children: just DO NOT do this unless you can easily afford to pay the loans back, yourself.

Special snowflake can hear the word "no" once in awhile.

The fact is, these are mom's loans. Sure, morally it would be great if the daughter would pay them back, but as they say "were ifs and buts candies and nuts we'd all have a merry Christmas".

huskerbb · Guru

Oh, and lest you think I am against helping out children, not the case. I "loaned" the money to my son for a pickup--but I can afford it if he doesn't pay it back, and, push comes to shove, there is an investment account he has that is in my name that would cover about 2/3 of the loan if he doesn't pay me.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

huskerbb wrote:
Parents of young children: just DO NOT do this unless you can easily afford to pay the loans back, yourself.

Special snowflake can hear the word "no" once in awhile.

The fact is, these are mom's loans. Sure, morally it would be great if the daughter would pay them back, but as they say "were ifs and buts candies and nuts we'd all have a merry Christmas".

She could pay them back, until she lost her job. That's the problem, no one has a crystal ball, and if they had the money to pay for it, they wouldn't take out the loans. It's all well and good to say don't take out loans you can't afford - but if you are relying on your job to afford things - as everyone does, then that is just not very realistic.

And BTW - the is the exact example of why kids get disinherited. Mom may find another job, and be fine paying these herself, and recover financially - but she's never going to forget that daughter wouldn't step up and help when it was needed.

huskerbb · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Parents of young children: just DO NOT do this unless you can easily afford to pay the loans back, yourself.

Special snowflake can hear the word "no" once in awhile.

The fact is, these are mom's loans. Sure, morally it would be great if the daughter would pay them back, but as they say "were ifs and buts candies and nuts we'd all have a merry Christmas".
She could pay them back, until she lost her job. That's the problem, no one has a crystal ball, and if they had the money to pay for it, they wouldn't take out the loans. It's all well and good to say don't take out loans you can't afford - but if you are relying on your job to afford things - as everyone does, then that is just not very realistic.

And BTW - the is the exact example of why kids get disinherited. Mom may find another job, and be fine paying these herself, and recover financially - but she's never going to forget that daughter wouldn't step up and help when it was needed.

Having trouble with a $14,000 loan is riding the ragged edge.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

huskerbb wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Parents of young children: just DO NOT do this unless you can easily afford to pay the loans back, yourself.

Special snowflake can hear the word "no" once in awhile.

The fact is, these are mom's loans. Sure, morally it would be great if the daughter would pay them back, but as they say "were ifs and buts candies and nuts we'd all have a merry Christmas".
She could pay them back, until she lost her job. That's the problem, no one has a crystal ball, and if they had the money to pay for it, they wouldn't take out the loans. It's all well and good to say don't take out loans you can't afford - but if you are relying on your job to afford things - as everyone does, then that is just not very realistic.

And BTW - the is the exact example of why kids get disinherited. Mom may find another job, and be fine paying these herself, and recover financially - but she's never going to forget that daughter wouldn't step up and help when it was needed.
Having trouble with a $14,000 loan is riding the ragged edge.

Really? You lose your job, you still have to pay for your own house, your car, your food, and your utilities. And the loan was probably much higher before, which means the payments are not based on an original $14,000 loan.

If you and your wife lost your jobs, how long would your savings last? Would you be wanting to pay for your son's truck then when it is his responsiblity and he has a job and you don't?

huskerbb · Guru

if that amount was what was going to push her over the edge, she shouldn't have done it.

Sure, losing a job is bad, but it's always a possibility.

It was a bad idea.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

huskerbb wrote:
if that amount was what was going to push her over the edge, she shouldn't have done it.

Sure, losing a job is bad, but it's always a possibility.

It was a bad idea.

But she did. So instead of telling people what they should have done when they can't change it, why don't we focus on dealing with the problem at hand that is the actual reality of the situation?

huskerbb · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
if that amount was what was going to push her over the edge, she shouldn't have done it.

Sure, losing a job is bad, but it's always a possibility.

It was a bad idea.
But she did. So instead of telling people what they should have done when they can't change it, why don't we focus on dealing with the problem at hand that is the actual reality of the situation?

I was telling other parents not to do it. She's screwed.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

I will not co sign for a loan for DD. I will be retiring soon after she goes off to college. I will, in the mean time, save as much as I can for her tuition. We actually had a conversation about it tonight, I told her I am saving and, depending on which school she chooses, she may or may not have to take loans out. We will have this same discussion 2X year. I will not co sign though.

NAOW · Vette's SS

I wonder if she could play chicken with her daughter. Tell her she can't pay and since her daughter is a cosigner too maybe she'll be scared into paying or ruin her credit.

ed11563 · Guru

NAOW wrote:

I wonder if she could play chicken with her daughter. Tell her she can't pay and since her daughter is a cosigner too maybe she'll be scared into paying or ruin her credit.

It doesn't say the daughter is a cosigner. If she was, the lender would have already gone after her.

The time to have the "will you pay these loans" conversation was BEFORE the money was used.

BUT I can picture that conversation being like this ...

MOM: " I really think you need a degree, it will help you for the rest of your life"

DD: "Mom, I already have a decent job, and I don't need college for what I expect to do. And I can't be saddled with huge loans."

MOM: "I'll help you get the money. It's important to me that you get this education."

end of discussion.

NAOW · Vette's SS

I thought Parent Plus loans were loans that are cosigned by the parents and student. I could be wrong though.

ed11563 · Guru

link: https://studentaid.ed.gov/sa/types/loans/plus#transfer-loan

As a parent borrower, can I transfer my loan to my child?

No, a Direct PLUS Loan made to a parent cannot be transferred to the child. You, the parent, are responsible for repaying the loan.

huskerbb · Guru

NAOW wrote:

I wonder if she could play chicken with her daughter. Tell her she can't pay and since her daughter is a cosigner too maybe she'll be scared into paying or ruin her credit.

I'm not so sure the daughter is a signer on those type of loans.

huskerbb · Guru

I'm going to co-sign a loan for my son to buy a house. However, that is a little different, if he defaults, the house is mine.

Mary Zombie · Guru

Did her daughter ask her to do this? If not I don't think it's totally fair to expect her to pay now. Unless she has the means.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

I co-signed one thing for each of my sons: for DS2, his first apartment, for DS1, a car.

One worked out better than the other, but I'd still do it over again.

flan

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Mary Zombie wrote:
Did her daughter ask her to do this? If not I don't think it's totally fair to expect her to pay now. Unless she has the means.

The OP says she does.

Mary Zombie · Guru

But the OP may think she has the means but how does she really know?

Ohfour · Hooker

Mary Zombie wrote:
But the OP may think she has the means but how does she really know?

This. My mother seems to think my sister and I have unlimited income.

She actually said this to my daughter. "If I had the money Ohfour has, I would dress a lot better than she does".

She has no idea how much money I have!

Mary Zombie · Guru

Oh4....Ivy
My sister always thinks I have a mint because I'm single.
No dear....single income household and haven't been mooching off my elderly parents ahem....ahem....

But anyway....I would like to get the DD's side of the story.

Ohfour · Hooker

Mary Zombie wrote:
Oh4....Ivy
My sister always thinks I have a mint because I'm single.
No dear....single income household and haven't been mooching off my elderly parents ahem....ahem....

But anyway....I would like to get the DD's side of the story.

I would too. And if was my mother, I would at least offer to pay SOMETHING. I wouldn't blow her off. Hell, I help my mother out here and there, and I've never borrowed money from her nor co-signed for her.

ed11563 · Guru

huskerbb wrote:
I'm going to co-sign a loan for my son to buy a house. However, that is a little different, if he defaults, the house is mine.

Read that contract very carefully. Banks LOVE screwing people in fine print.

huskerbb · Guru

ed11563 wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
I'm going to co-sign a loan for my son to buy a house. However, that is a little different, if he defaults, the house is mine.
Read that contract very carefully. Banks LOVE screwing people in fine print.

What does the bank have to do with it? That contract is between me and my son.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Ohfour wrote:

Mary Zombie wrote:
But the OP may think she has the means but how does she really know?
This. My mother seems to think my sister and I have unlimited income.
She actually said this to my daughter. "If I had the money Ohfour has, I would dress a lot better than she does".
She has no idea how much money I have!

Upgrade you slob!!! wink

Ohfour · Hooker

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Ohfour wrote:

Mary Zombie wrote:
But the OP may think she has the means but how does she really know?
This. My mother seems to think my sister and I have unlimited income.
She actually said this to my daughter. "If I had the money Ohfour has, I would dress a lot better than she does".
She has no idea how much money I have!

Upgrade you slob!!!

If I wasn't so fat....

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

huskerbb wrote:

I'm going to co-sign a loan for my son to buy a house. However, that is a little different, if he defaults, the house is mine.

Personally, I think that is a bad plan. They should buy what they can afford on their own means. Just my opinion. If you can't afford it on your own means, then you can't afford it!

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

I'd love to be as "fat" as you are, ohfour!

flan

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:

huskerbb wrote:
if that amount was what was going to push her over the edge, she shouldn't have done it.

Sure, losing a job is bad, but it's always a possibility.

It was a bad idea.
But she did. So instead of telling people what they should have done when they can't change it, why don't we focus on dealing with the problem at hand that is the actual reality of the situation?

Because people need to learn.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

flan327 wrote:

I'd love to be as "fat" as you are, ohfour!

flan

Don't you mean Phat?

Ohfour · Hooker

flan327 wrote:
I'd love to be as "fat" as you are, ohfour!

flan

That's sweet. Thank you....

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

What a suck up! Maybe she's think you are her Secret Santa, lol! (and no you are not fat, I have see pics. You look great!).

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
What a suck up! Maybe she's think you are her Secret Santa, lol! (and no you are not fat, I have see pics. You look great!).

That's one reason why I don't post pictures of me!

flan

FNW · Guru

My parents never co-signed for anything with us. My brother and I each got our own damned loans. But they contributed what they could at the time, towards our education.

But they also gave us things. They gave me money to buy my townhouse. When I sold it two years later at a profit, I offered to pay them back and they said no, it was a gift. I bought a car from them and made payments. When my income increased, I just paid them the balance. They love doing business with me because I'm responsible. So it's not about lack of trust or an unwillingness to help out. My father was a banker for 30+ years so he knows how loans work. And I do, too. And we all know things can happen, such as did to this mother.

It's a shame that the daughter doesn't do something to help her mother out. But perhaps she is a product of how she was raised? She admits they are no longer close. What transpired between them could have an impact on why her daughter will not help. I, too, would like to hear both sides.

ed11563 · Guru

FNW wrote:
My parents never co-signed for anything with us. My brother and I each got our own damned loans. But they contributed what they could at the time, towards our education.

But they also gave us things. They gave me money to buy my townhouse. When I sold it two years later at a profit, I offered to pay them back and they said no, it was a gift. I bought a car from them and made payments. When my income increased, I just paid them the balance. They love doing business with me because I'm responsible. So it's not about lack of trust or an unwillingness to help out. My father was a banker for 30+ years so he knows how loans work. And I do, too. And we all know things can happen, such as did to this mother.

It's a shame that the daughter doesn't do something to help her mother out. But perhaps she is a product of how she was raised? She admits they are no longer close. What transpired between them could have an impact on why her daughter will not help. I, too, would like to hear both sides.

If MIL were to ever ask Spouse or me for help, I would happily send her a bullet.

Ohfour · Hooker

This may explain:

On Judge Judy, a tote the note car place was suing a girl for the balance of a car. Her defense was that she didn't take out a loan. That she gave them monthly payments. Judy said, "Well that's a loan". The girl argued with her that she have never been given any money, so she didn't take out a loan.

Dead serious.....

huskerbb · Guru

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
huskerbb wrote:

I'm going to co-sign a loan for my son to buy a house. However, that is a little different, if he defaults, the house is mine.

Personally, I think that is a bad plan. They should buy what they can afford on their own means. Just my opinion. If you can't afford it on your own means, then you can't afford it!

He can afford the payments.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

huskerbb wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
huskerbb wrote:

I'm going to co-sign a loan for my son to buy a house. However, that is a little different, if he defaults, the house is mine.

Personally, I think that is a bad plan. They should buy what they can afford on their own means. Just my opinion. If you can't afford it on your own means, then you can't afford it!
He can afford the payments.

Until he loses his job.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

huskerbb wrote:

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
huskerbb wrote:

I'm going to co-sign a loan for my son to buy a house. However, that is a little different, if he defaults, the house is mine.

Personally, I think that is a bad plan. They should buy what they can afford on their own means. Just my opinion. If you can't afford it on your own means, then you can't afford it!
He can afford the payments.

You can do whatever you want. It's your business. But, we bought our house without parents cosigning. Why do you need a cosigner if you have a job and adequate funds?

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Well, with DS1's car, I had decent credit so he got a lower interest rate.

flan

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

I am not completely opposed to cosigning. Depends on the kid and the circumstances. But, I really would want to push my kids to live within their means and afford things on their own. If they have to drive a crap car and rent an apt for quite awhile then so be it.

huskerbb · Guru

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
huskerbb wrote:

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
huskerbb wrote:

I'm going to co-sign a loan for my son to buy a house. However, that is a little different, if he defaults, the house is mine.

Personally, I think that is a bad plan. They should buy what they can afford on their own means. Just my opinion. If you can't afford it on your own means, then you can't afford it!
He can afford the payments.

You can do whatever you want. It's your business. But, we bought our house without parents cosigning. Why do you need a cosigner if you have a job and adequate funds?

He'd need a higher down payment on his own and the interest rate would be higher. This way he doesn't have to have a down payment and the interest is a percent and a half lower.

I don't see the big deal. The payments are less that what rent would be and he has to have somewhere to live. I certainly don't want him moving in with me.

A $30,000 loan is a drop in the bucket if worse comes to worst and I get the house back and have to take on the loan, myself.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
huskerbb wrote:

I'm going to co-sign a loan for my son to buy a house. However, that is a little different, if he defaults, the house is mine.

Personally, I think that is a bad plan. They should buy what they can afford on their own means. Just my opinion. If you can't afford it on your own means, then you can't afford it!

Yeah, that is my thinking too. When DS knew I meant business he bought what he could afford, two years later it is generating income for him and he has bought another property without expecting me to help. Sure I helped him a bit but wouldn't co sign, he is so much better off.

huskerbb · Guru

Every situation is different. The LW shouldn't have done it because apparently 14k put her over the edge of financial disaster.

College loans and house loans are different, too. What is a college degree truly worth? You can't sell it to pay off the loan. It is only worth what the person who has it is making--but in this case, the person who has the degree isn't paying off the loan.

With a house, or even a car, there is at least some value that could be salvaged to pay the loan if everything goes to ****.

Ohfour · Hooker

I would cosign on a house much quicker than i would on a college loan or a car loan. Houses traditionally generate income of left in default (rental is always an option ). Cars and Student loans...never...

huskerbb · Guru

Well, theoretically a college degree should generate an income--however, that is predicated on the person holding the degree actually being responsible for the loan, which in this case, she is not.

It's even worse than co-signing--she took the loan on by herself.