TOTALLY GEEKED!

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Bride & Groom Bill Couple $75 for Missing Their Wedding

Oughttabeworking · Regular

I saw this article when I was scrolling through the "news" and I just KNEW it would be on TG for discussion! Thanks for not disappointing me, NJN

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

You're welcome! When I saw it I thought TG too!

karl271 · Guru

Tacky is a word that jumps to mind. I understand being disappointed that someone could not attend even though stating they could. But to bill them for the meals.... I wonder if they have to pay a percentage of what the newly married couple donated/gave to the church where they were married?
(At least that used to be the custom - to donate some money or if they had a set fee, to pay that for use of the church).

Bonny22Pye · Guru

You are a guest to a wedding period. I so sick of people expecting to get gifts to cover the fees. S_H_I_T happens sometimes people can't make it. Get over it.

NAOW · Vette's SS

Nope. It's annoying g paying for people who don't show up, but its also expected that it will happen sometimes, because life. Is $75 worth the friendship, because I'm sure that's over now.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I wouldn't pay it either.

But I am confused, was this sent from the caterers or the couple?

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Why would you pay? Had the couple gone the B&G would have paid the same amount for catering, not as though there is an up charge from the caterer for uneaten meals. The bill was just a bitchy attack on guests who couldn't come. That is not tacky, that is obnoxious.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

There's always someone who doesn't show at the last minute for one reason or another. It's part of life. We got lucky. A friend catered our wedding and we purchased all the food. Anything left over was boxed up and taken to our house after the wedding.

Tangerine · Guru

We had several no shows. The only thing that crossed my mind was that I was a little disappointed I didn't get to see them at my wedding. And there was probably extra food on the buffet.
The bride and groom are real jerks here.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Yeah. There was a bill with the article and the bride and groom sent it to the couple but I couldn't get it to paste here. I just don't see this as worth losing a friend over.

Lindley · Guru

Never even thought about charging a no show guest.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

They should have tacked on a no gift fee. Like add another $75 for a gift they didn't get.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Or don't have super expensive meals.

We did a cook out.

Everyone enjoyed it.

just Czech · Give Me Grand's!

Good grief, can we say "entitled".

I bet the marriage doesn't last a year.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Some of the people at my wedding didn't bring a gift. I'm sending them bills!

just Czech · Give Me Grand's!

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Some of the people at my wedding didn't bring a gift. I'm sending them bills!

You are a little late with the billing..

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

just Czech wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Some of the people at my wedding didn't bring a gift. I'm sending them bills!
You are a little late with the billing..

True dat!

NAOW · Vette's SS

just Czech wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Some of the people at my wedding didn't bring a gift. I'm sending them bills!
You are a little late with the billing..

How dare they. Make sure you add interest.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

NAOW wrote:
just Czech wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Some of the people at my wedding didn't bring a gift. I'm sending them bills!
You are a little late with the billing..
How dare they. Make sure you add interest.

I plan to!

chef · Guru

I can understand where the B&G are coming from. I bet it would've been a different story had the no shows called, texted, whatever to let the B&G know life happened and they can't make it. To just no show is rude.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I don't know. The day of my wedding, I was so busy and scattered that the one phone call I did take nearly ma decade me lose it.

It's tacky to charge someone for an event you are hosting.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

If we didn't turn weddings into these monster affairs, maybe people wouldn't lose their heads. It has just become stupid. It really isn't about the sanctity of marriage or the joy of the couple. It's just a big show of Look at Me, it's MY day. As if that is now permission to run roughshod over everyone in under the sun to get your way. It's really disgusting. I would much rather attend a simple church wedding with cake and punch in the basement any day.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

So, would it have better if they had shown up and not brought a gift? Or brought a gift the bride and groom didn't like?

FNW · Guru

If I were the guest who received the bill I would feel glad that I did not attend. It sounds like she dodged a bullet, so to speak, and now she knows she no longer needs to waste time and energy on this friendship.

Ohfour · Hooker

chef wrote:
I can understand where the B&G are coming from. I bet it would've been a different story had the no shows called, texted, whatever to let the B&G know life happened and they can't make it. To just no show is rude.

I would never even consider texting someone on their wedding day to let them know I wasn't coming. They have enough on their plate without people texting them to let them know they wouldn't be there. What would it matter at that point anyway...

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

And quite frankly I find it hard to believe that someone who did not RSVP didn't show up.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Even if she did text the bride or groom the day of the wedding usually the food is already bought and paid for well before that day. You can't just say "Oh don't cook up that fish and don't charge me because someone is not coming."

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Tacky tacky tacky.

flan

Ohfour · Hooker

Lawyerlady wrote:
And quite frankly I find it hard to believe that someone who did not RSVP didn't show up.

Exactly.

I've planned weddings for years. The ration of people that didn't RSVP yet showed up vs the people that RSVP'd and didn't is about 1:1. And you ALWAYS plan for extra food. Anything can go wrong (overcooked, dropped, overspiced).

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Yep. We had extra food. Did phase me nor did it occur to charge people.

FNW · Guru

They have to know a head count usually a day or two before the wedding. Sh*t happens. People don't show up. People show up. Sometimes, people show up with extra uninvited people. The headcount is always an "approximate" figure and B&G should know this. The restaurant does. Sometimes there is a "minimum" that must be met, too. It's the nature of the beast, party throwing. If you don't want to pay extra to guarantee a nice meal in a nice venue, and risk overpaying, elope.

NAOW · Vette's SS

Ohfour wrote:
chef wrote:
I can understand where the B&G are coming from. I bet it would've been a different story had the no shows called, texted, whatever to let the B&G know life happened and they can't make it. To just no show is rude.
I would never even consider texting someone on their wedding day to let them know I wasn't coming. They have enough on their plate without people texting them to let them know they wouldn't be there. What would it matter at that point anyway...

Same here. I agree.

chef · Guru

Ohfour wrote:
chef wrote:
I can understand where the B&G are coming from. I bet it would've been a different story had the no shows called, texted, whatever to let the B&G know life happened and they can't make it. To just no show is rude.
I would never even consider texting someone on their wedding day to let them know I wasn't coming. They have enough on their plate without people texting them to let them know they wouldn't be there. What would it matter at that point anyway...

Texts are the most common form of communication in my circle. If someone is having an event and an invitee can't make it or will be late or whatever, they usually text to let the host know.

Most of the guests at DH's and my wedding must have had your line of thought. 65 no shows (all had RSVPed). I'm still hearing about it from FIL almost 3 years later.

chef · Guru

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
If we didn't turn weddings into these monster affairs, maybe people wouldn't lose their heads. It has just become stupid. It really isn't about the sanctity of marriage or the joy of the couple. It's just a big show of Look at Me, it's MY day. As if that is now permission to run roughshod over everyone in under the sun to get your way. It's really disgusting. I would much rather attend a simple church wedding with cake and punch in the basement any day.

So much this.

I wanted a simple wedding like you describe. Nope. MIL went MIL-zilla and turned it into an all about her and her wants day making it far more of a PITA than it needed to be. You should've seen the look of horror on her face re having a cake and punch reception when I mentioned it.

Mary Zombie · Guru

Yeah sure....let me write u a check.....from my Pink unicorn's Arse.

FNW · Guru

65 no shows? How many people were invited?

chef · Guru

FNW wrote:
65 no shows? How many people were invited?

120, if memory serves. We had 100 RSVPs.

Let's just say that barely anything went according to plan. The no shows were a small part of the comedy of errors that my wedding was. There's very little about that day that I look back on with happiness. I'm actually mostly happy we didn't get pics. That's how bad it was. Want a laugh? The pastor, despite being a close friend of my dad, botched my last name (was the same as my dad's) but managed to nail my husbands difficult-to-pronounce last name. Go figure!

My experience with my wedding is why I can understand where the couple in the OP is coming from. A few no shows - no big deal. For us? That many no shows meant a significant chunk of money spent on food that could've gone to other things. We did not charge the no shows for the food. I don't play that way. But I do understand the thinking behind it.

Ohfour · Hooker

chef wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
chef wrote:
I can understand where the B&G are coming from. I bet it would've been a different story had the no shows called, texted, whatever to let the B&G know life happened and they can't make it. To just no show is rude.
I would never even consider texting someone on their wedding day to let them know I wasn't coming. They have enough on their plate without people texting them to let them know they wouldn't be there. What would it matter at that point anyway...
Texts are the most common form of communication in my circle. If someone is having an event and an invitee can't make it or will be late or whatever, they usually text to let the host know.
Most of the guests at DH's and my wedding must have had your line of thought. 65 no shows (all had RSVPed). I'm still hearing about it from FIL almost 3 years later.

No way would I have wanted 35-40 texts the day of my wedding. I was too busy to care.

My first wedding, I had over 100 RSVPs. ExH and I were already engaged and had set a date long before I became pregnant with my son. The company I worked for a the time found out that I was pregnant about 2 weeks before the wedding. They forbid any of my co-workers from attending my wedding and even canceled my work wedding shower. Food was long paid for. We gave it out to the people that DID come to our wedding...

I was lucky I wasn't fired on the spot. My boss had resigned a couple of weeks before and we were in the middle of Christmas Season. So it was just me.

chef · Guru

Ohfour wrote:
chef wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
chef wrote:
I can understand where the B&G are coming from. I bet it would've been a different story had the no shows called, texted, whatever to let the B&G know life happened and they can't make it. To just no show is rude.
I would never even consider texting someone on their wedding day to let them know I wasn't coming. They have enough on their plate without people texting them to let them know they wouldn't be there. What would it matter at that point anyway...
Texts are the most common form of communication in my circle. If someone is having an event and an invitee can't make it or will be late or whatever, they usually text to let the host know.
Most of the guests at DH's and my wedding must have had your line of thought. 65 no shows (all had RSVPed). I'm still hearing about it from FIL almost 3 years later.
No way would I have wanted 35-40 texts the day of my wedding. I was too busy to care.

My first wedding, I had over 100 RSVPs. ExH and I were already engaged and had set a date long before I became pregnant with my son. The company I worked for a the time found out that I was pregnant about 2 weeks before the wedding. They forbid any of my co-workers from attending my wedding and even canceled my work wedding shower. Food was long paid for. We gave it out to the people that DID come to our wedding...

I was lucky I wasn't fired on the spot. My boss had resigned a couple of weeks before and we were in the middle of Christmas Season. So it was just me.

I was too busy the day of but would've appreciated the texts nonetheless. We are different in that regard and that's ok.

Yikes! I'm sorry your work did that to you. How rude! I can understand them cancelling the work wedding shower (it sounds like pregnancy out of wedlock was frowned upon there) but I think they overstepped on forbidding your coworkers from attending.

FNW · Guru

Such sad wedding stories!

My first wedding was pretty large for 1983 standards. Over 200 people. A lot of business associates of my parents and people I did not know. That' just how things were done back then. My parents threw it, so they could invite whoever they wanted. It was a beautiful event, but I threw up because I did not want to marry the loser. Which would have suited my parents just fine because they could not stand him either. But I was 19 and scared and didn't know how to back out. I moved out less than a year later and got a restraining order. And an annulment. But it was a lovely party.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I guess there might have 30 or 40 at my wedding and reception.

That's counting everyone that stood on their back porch to watch too.

chef · Guru

FNW wrote:
Such sad wedding stories!

My first wedding was pretty large for 1983 standards. Over 200 people. A lot of business associates of my parents and people I did not know. That' just how things were done back then. My parents threw it, so they could invite whoever they wanted. It was a beautiful event, but I threw up because I did not want to marry the loser. Which would have suited my parents just fine because they could not stand him either. But I was 19 and scared and didn't know how to back out. I moved out less than a year later and got a restraining order. And an annulment. But it was a lovely party.

I wouldn't have known how to back out either.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Mary Zombie wrote:

Yeah sure....let me write u a check.....from my Pink unicorn's Arse.

Will you use common core math? lol biggrin

chef · Guru

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Mary Zombie wrote:

Yeah sure....let me write u a check.....from my Pink unicorn's Arse.

Will you use common core math? lol

LOL! She totally should!

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

FNW wrote:
Such sad wedding stories!

My first wedding was pretty large for 1983 standards. Over 200 people. A lot of business associates of my parents and people I did not know. That' just how things were done back then. My parents threw it, so they could invite whoever they wanted. It was a beautiful event, but I threw up because I did not want to marry the loser. Which would have suited my parents just fine because they could not stand him either. But I was 19 and scared and didn't know how to back out. I moved out less than a year later and got a restraining order. And an annulment. But it was a lovely party.

Wow, that story is a mix of both my weddings. First one I was 19 as well, didn't want to get married. Small wedding at my parent's house. Second wedding was large, RO came a few months later. Fantastic reception though!

FNW · Guru

My second wedding was a nice event, too, but I just didn't enjoy myself. Something felt off. The venue for the ceremony was beautiful and rustic, and the reception in an Italian restaurant (we rented out the entire restaurant) was very nice. I just didn't enjoy myself.

My third, to Mr. FNW, was the best day of my life. It was small, just the immediate families, at the club. A champagne/wine reception (with heavy Hors d’Oeuvres) of about 30-40 people was hosted by us in our home, the following day. It was wonderful. Relaxing, fun. I felt a strong sense of calm.

Mary Zombie · Guru

chef wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Mary Zombie wrote:

Yeah sure....let me write u a check.....from my Pink unicorn's Arse.

Will you use common core math? lol
LOL! She totally should!

Absolutely!

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

So Megyn Kelly and her guests think it was okay to charge this couple!

Lexxy · My dog name is Sasha, too!

FNW wrote:
Such sad wedding stories!

My first wedding was pretty large for 1983 standards. Over 200 people. A lot of business associates of my parents and people I did not know. That' just how things were done back then. My parents threw it, so they could invite whoever they wanted. It was a beautiful event, but I threw up because I did not want to marry the loser. Which would have suited my parents just fine because they could not stand him either. But I was 19 and scared and didn't know how to back out. I moved out less than a year later and got a restraining order. And an annulment. But it was a lovely party.

This does not square with my perception of you. You must have changed a lot along the way.

I don't think I could ever have been coerced into marrying someone I didn't want to marry. In fact I flat out said "no" to two proposals that I knew were not going to make me happy in the big picture.