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Post Info TOPIC: Dear Carolyn: Cats on the Kitchen Counter
Lady Gaga Snerd


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Dear Carolyn: Cats on the Kitchen Counter
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Dear Carolyn: We are three gals who are close friends with “Jane.” Jane has recently completed a gourmet cooking class and wants to show off her new skills by cooking us all dinner at her place — which is really sweet. The problem is, her two cats climb on the furniture, dig in the flowerpots, climb up on the toilet seat, paw and claw through the contents of the litter box and then walk all over the kitchen counters, the cutting boards, the food-prep island and the kitchen table, even when Jane’s family is eating.

Jane knows this is not hygienic, but it doesn’t bother her family — they think it is adorable. As for us, the “ick-factor” turns our stomachs and leaves us unwilling to eat a meal at Jane’s house.

She is hypersensitive when it comes to her “darlings.” If we tell the truth, our friendship will never be the same. If we all find excuses to beg off, it will break her heart. We can’t stall much longer; Jane is trying to pin down a date. We love her and she has always unconditionally put up with our quirks and “blind spots.” What should we do? — Friends of Jane







DETROIT FREE PRESS

Your sister’s denial is worse than her husband’s touch


Dear Friends:Put up with her quirky blind spot and accept her invitation, unless one of you is immune-compromised.

It’s either that or admit to Jane you’re very, very sorry you can’t abide the cats.

For the record, it’s situations like this that have cemented in me a deep loathing of defensiveness, especially among intimates. If you can’t say what you really feel to a friend without fear of triggering a meltdown, then you can’t conduct the essential business of that friendship.

And really — if discomfort with cats that pinball from litterbox to tabletop is a shocking disclosure, then what exactly qualifies as normal? Especially when there’s such a simple answer Jane can give: “Understandable! I forget sometimes that not everyone is a cat person.”

Alas, the reality you’re forced to work with includes Jane’s defensiveness — and pinballing cats and gag reflexes and valued friendships and Jane’s persistence despite, apparently, your prodigious dodging.

These leave you these options: Tell Jane the truth; lie to Jane (i.e. conjure a binding, blanket excuse like an allergy); contrive ways around Jane’s kitchen and let her imagination come up with even worse reasons you’re avoiding her; or eat the blasted dinner.

Lies and stalling are low roads masquerading as courtesy. If Jane were my friend, I’d take my serving of Chicken a la Fluffy and thank her for it. It’s what you do for people you love. It’s why I ate roughly a cat’s worth of sheddings over the course of my childhood, served by my pet-indulgent grandma.

If it makes you feel better, Google “fecal bacteria” and cellphones, toothbrushes, beards, or the kitchen sponges we use to kid ourselves that our prep surfaces are “hygienic.” Ick is inescapable. True friends, on the other hand, don’t grow on sinks.
http://www.freep.com/story/life/advice/2015/10/04/carolyn-hax-brother-secret-burden/73169150/



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lilyofcourse


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That's exactly why I don't like indoor cats.

Nasty.

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flan327


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Our cats were NEVER allowed on the counter OR the table.

flan

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Lawyerlady


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Mine are not allowed on the counters, either. That's just nasty.

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Tinydancer


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The cats are getting on the counter when you're not home so all your counter tops or areas a cat could get to should be cleaned with one of those clorox wipes just to be sure.

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Lawyerlady


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Tinydancer wrote:

The cats are getting on the counter when you're not home so all your counter tops or areas a cat could get to should be cleaned with one of those clorox wipes just to be sure.

 To train the cats to stay off the counter when you are not home, cover them with tin foil while you are gone.  They hate the stuff.



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My dog's fur gets all over everything even the counters although he is not on the counters. I wipe down my counters and stove top a couple times each day. I don't want that in my food. I think it is disgusting to expect people to come to your home and eat food that was prepared and cooked on surfaces that not only have pet fur but also all the other crap they have on their paws.

I love my dog but I get that his fur is all over the furniture. When people come over I have sheets nearby if they prefer to sit on a chair that has a fresh clean sheet on it rather than sitting on dog fur. I keep the spare bedroom door shut so the dog's fur doesn't get in there. As far as preparing food, the dog is not around it and when we eat he is kept in the family room.

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Tangerine


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Our cats know not to get on the counters in front of us. I'm sure they do it when we are asleep or out. That's why I wash the counters before and after I cook.

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I know what to do_sometimes wrote:

My dog's fur gets all over everything even the counters although he is not on the counters. I wipe down my counters and stove top a couple times each day. I don't want that in my food. I think it is disgusting to expect people to come to your home and eat food that was prepared and cooked on surfaces that not only have pet fur but also all the other crap they have on their paws.

I love my dog but I get that his fur is all over the furniture. When people come over I have sheets nearby if they prefer to sit on a chair that has a fresh clean sheet on it rather than sitting on dog fur. I keep the spare bedroom door shut so the dog's fur doesn't get in there. As far as preparing food, the dog is not around it and when we eat he is kept in the family room.

 I do the same. And I vacuum the furniture before someone comes over - if I know they are coming that is. 



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Tinydancer


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Lawyerlady wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:

The cats are getting on the counter when you're not home so all your counter tops or areas a cat could get to should be cleaned with one of those clorox wipes just to be sure.

 To train the cats to stay off the counter when you are not home, cover them with tin foil while you are gone.  They hate the stuff.

 You can train them to not go on the counters when you are there or when you leave foil covering everything but you can't train them to stay off a counter when you're not there and you didn't leave foil. You might take it as a sure thing but I wipe everything with a sanitizing wipe before I prepare food anyway. My cat is smart and I don't trust him...lol



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ladyloonatic


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I don't think my cats went on the counters when I was gone, a couple times I accidently left stuff out and it was still there and unchewed when I got back. But always a good idea to use a chlorox wipe, or something similar, to the prep areas before cooking.

I tend to agree with Carolyn, both about sucking it up and eating or telling friend the reason why. I also agree with people tend to get all skeevy about cat paws or dog germs or whatever, when there's disgusting bacteria all around us all the time. I hear people saying "I won't eat at such-and-such a place, they don't even wear gloves when prepping food." My thought is that, just because their wearing gloves doesn't mean they're not scratching their butts or wiping their nose or picking stuff up off the floor. Sometimes you have to just not think about it.

A friend of mine used to always say, "just don't pee in the mashed potatoes!"

Unless you cook it yourself, you really don't know. My mom used to get nervous when she heard me giggling in the kitchen, she'd say "what are you doing to my dinner?!" I'd just laugh and say "noth-in."

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ladyloonatic wrote:

I don't think my cats went on the counters when I was gone, a couple times I accidently left stuff out and it was still there and unchewed when I got back. But always a good idea to use a chlorox wipe, or something similar, to the prep areas before cooking.

I tend to agree with Carolyn, both about sucking it up and eating or telling friend the reason why. I also agree with people tend to get all skeevy about cat paws or dog germs or whatever, when there's disgusting bacteria all around us all the time. I hear people saying "I won't eat at such-and-such a place, they don't even wear gloves when prepping food." My thought is that, just because their wearing gloves doesn't mean they're not scratching their butts or wiping their nose or picking stuff up off the floor. Sometimes you have to just not think about it.

A friend of mine used to always say, "just don't pee in the mashed potatoes!"

Unless you cook it yourself, you really don't know. My mom used to get nervous when she heard me giggling in the kitchen, she'd say "what are you doing to my dinner?!" I'd just laugh and say "noth-in."

 I agree with this so much.  I try to keep the dog hairs off my counters but with three big dogs it's sometimes next to impossible.  I do try though.  Tonight we took bowls out of the cupboard and DN found a hair in one.  So we wipe it out.  They were clean.  Not sure how the hairs get into the high cupboard but so be it.  I told her there's no telling how many dog hairs I've eaten in my life time. 

Really there are germs everywhere.  How often do you wash your door knobs in your house?  Your light switches?  Your keys?  Your cell phone?  Think about the little pad you check out at at the grocery store.  I once saw a lady eating candy, licking her fingers, and touching the screen.  Totally gross.  We actually touch a lot more than we realize and don't wash our hands nearly enough.

I don't think you should throw all cleanliness aside just because of it though.  Just be reasonable.



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ladyloonatic


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Exactly!

When I go to salad bar or buffet, sometimes I accidently get something on my fingers (dressing, gravy, whatever) and go to lick it off before grabbing the next spoon or tongs... then I think, well I guess THAT wouldn't be too sanitary. So now I grab a napkin before I go up, JIC!

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ladyloonatic wrote:

Exactly!

When I go to salad bar or buffet, sometimes I accidently get something on my fingers (dressing, gravy, whatever) and go to lick it off before grabbing the next spoon or tongs... then I think, well I guess THAT wouldn't be too sanitary. So now I grab a napkin before I go up, JIC!

 Yep.  And whenever someone gets sick they're like I've been spraying lysol everywhere.  I say have you actually wiped off your light switches or door knobs?  Um no.  lol  Germs.  They don't just stay in obvious places.



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Lawyerlady


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My DH hates the cats. He always wants everything cleaned constantly. In the new house, the cats have to live downstairs.

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My DH hated cats too. I had one when we got married but it got really aggressive with my SS so it had to go. It was an aggressive cat to begin with but it got worse. Cat couldn't stay. Now we have three dogs. Hair wise we're worse off.

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lilyofcourse


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Monster lost his under coat due to a yeast on his skin this summer. Thankfully that's been taken care of and he is growing a new under coat.

But with proper brushing, it wasn't a big mess.

I do know if I ever get another dog, it'll be another poodle.

Poodles don't shed. Not like other dogs.



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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.

Charley Harper
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