TOTALLY GEEKED!

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Dear Abby: Hubby has Photos of Ex on Facebook

Dona Worry Be Happy · Vette's SS!!

What?!?!? Wow, this response is WAY off.
He posted those pictures before they were married. I doubt anybody even looks at them anymore. It doesn't say the pictures are on his profile page, just that they are in albums.
Lady needs to grow up and stop fighting over stupid stuff.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

While I agree she should not be upset, she admits they were posted before they met - the question does arise as to why he won't remove them now that she has asked. It's not really a horrible request.

Ohfour · Hooker

I wonder if he and his ex have children? I have pictures of my ex with my kids on my Facebook page. From parties, graduations, wedding...

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:

While I agree she should not be upset, she admits they were posted before they met - the question does arise as to why he won't remove them now that she has asked. It's not really a horrible request.

Probably because he simply just hasn't THOUGHT about it? I mean, how many guys are going back and reviewing all their pics on Facebook? I mean come on. Really. And, his Ex is part of his life and history. Not sure why you have to go throw away every old pic as if that is somehow a threat. Seems pretty immature to me.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:

While I agree she should not be upset, she admits they were posted before they met - the question does arise as to why he won't remove them now that she has asked. It's not really a horrible request.

Probably because he simply just hasn't THOUGHT about it? I mean, how many guys are going back and reviewing all their pics on Facebook? I mean come on. Really. And, his Ex is part of his life and history. Not sure why you have to go throw away every old pic as if that is somehow a threat. Seems pretty immature to me.

After she asked him, he has thought about it. And he can save it on a flash drive.

TrudyML · Guru

I hate FB

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

So what if she asked him? To him it might be a big nothing. Does he have to jump because she wants to be childish?

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

TrudyML wrote:

I hate FB

Why? There are many good things about it. I can keep in touch with my niece who lives in Japan and keep track of long lost friends and relatives, etc. And, it is a quick way to disseminate information. I like it. Yes, you can use it and make yourself miserable or use it for good things.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
So what if she asked him? To him it might be a big nothing. Does he have to jump because she wants to be childish?

It bothers her, so if her cares about her and cherishes her as a husband should, it is a small thing to do.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

If it doesnt' bother him and she loves and cherishes him, she will that that it isn't a BDD!

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

A lot of women make much ado about stupid schit, then wonder why their relationships fall apart. lol

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
If it doesnt' bother him and she loves and cherishes him, she will that that it isn't a BDD!

Of course it doesn't bother him to leave them up. That's a dumb thing to say.

He's married now - displaying pictures of him and his ex is inappropriate.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
A lot of women make much ado about stupid schit, then wonder why their relationships fall apart. lol

Well, if he's such as ass that leaving up pictures that bother his new wife is more important than her feelings, then he shouldn't wonder why his relationship fails.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

I disagree. Inappropriate according to who? And, having photos in your facebook albums is not 'displaying" pics. Do you really think there are people going through all his photos and going Looky here? If so , it isn't him with the issues, it's them.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I don't hang on to pictures and things from past relationships.

I think he should remove them. Unless there are kids involved.

She asked him to and gave him a valid reason.

He should respect her.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
I disagree. Inappropriate according to who? And, having photos in your facebook albums is not 'displaying" pics. Do you really think there are people going through all his photos and going Looky here? If so , it isn't him with the issues, it's them.

Anyone with sense.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
A lot of women make much ado about stupid schit, then wonder why their relationships fall apart. lol
Well, if he's such as ass that leaving up pictures that bother his new wife is more important than her feelings, then he shouldn't wonder why his relationship fails.

If she is such an ass that she can't handle and acknowledge the fact, that omg, he had a relationship with another woman, then she needs to make an appt with Dr. Phil!

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

She can just slink around and find out his password and then go delete them herself. Or, she could unfriend him on Facebook instead.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
A lot of women make much ado about stupid schit, then wonder why their relationships fall apart. lol
Well, if he's such as ass that leaving up pictures that bother his new wife is more important than her feelings, then he shouldn't wonder why his relationship fails.

If she is such an ass that she can't handle and acknowledge the fact, that omg, he had a relationship with another woman, then she needs to make an appt with Dr. Phil!

I'm sure she's very aware he's had past relationships, but only an epic jerk expects keeps displaying the ex's pictures.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Only an epic jerk keeps having a Hissy over nothing.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
She can just slink around and find out his password and then go delete them herself. Or, she could unfriend him on Facebook instead.

This is his WIFE. He needs to consider her feelings. Not his girlfriend, his WIFE. Do you refuse to stop doing things that hurt your husband's feelings? Marriage means more - he needs to do as she asked when it involves other women.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

See, that is the thing. You have already jumped to calling him an ass and all that. In reality, he is probably completely OBLIVIOUS to this issue or why it bothers her. And, again, I have seen a lot of woman blow up their own marriages with this type of thing. Their hubby doesn't jump at their command. Not because he doesn't love her but because HE doesn't see the issue with the same way she does or with the same urgency. So, then SHE just decides he is an ass or terrible person, blah blah. So, if that is the road she wants to go down then fine. Pitch a big ass fit like 2 yr old Diva and demand and get your way.

Tinydancer · Guru

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
See, that is the thing. You have already jumped to calling him an ass and all that. In reality, he is probably completely OBLIVIOUS to this issue or why it bothers her. And, again, I have seen a lot of woman blow up their own marriages with this type of thing. Their hubby doesn't jump at their command. Not because he doesn't love her but because HE doesn't see the issue with the same way she does or with the same urgency. So, then SHE just decides he is an ass or terrible person, blah blah. So, if that is the road she wants to go down then fine. Pitch a big ass fit like 2 yr old Diva and demand and get your way.

So never ask anything of your husband because you'll blow up your marriage? Sorry it's not much of a marriage if he's that insensitive to her feelings. Now if it was a widower or if it's the only pictures of his kids for some reason then yes your argument might make a bit of sense.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Tinydancer wrote:

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
See, that is the thing. You have already jumped to calling him an ass and all that. In reality, he is probably completely OBLIVIOUS to this issue or why it bothers her. And, again, I have seen a lot of woman blow up their own marriages with this type of thing. Their hubby doesn't jump at their command. Not because he doesn't love her but because HE doesn't see the issue with the same way she does or with the same urgency. So, then SHE just decides he is an ass or terrible person, blah blah. So, if that is the road she wants to go down then fine. Pitch a big ass fit like 2 yr old Diva and demand and get your way.
So never ask anything of your husband because you'll blow up your marriage? Sorry it's not much of a marriage if he's that insensitive to her feelings. Now if it was a widower or if it's the only pictures of his kids for some reason then yes your argument might make a bit of sense.

That isn't what I said but whatever. I am saying that men don't see everything the way we see it. But, why do we expect them to always succumb to our way of thinking? Can you ever take a step back and consider what HE is thinking and try to see things his way? I guess I feel sorry for your husbands that their thoughts or opinions don't much matter as it is all about what Princess wants.

Tinydancer · Guru

How is this being a princess? It's pictures with his EX girlfriend. It is not an unreasonable request no matter how many women are difficult to their husbands.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

TrudyML wrote:
I hate FB

DH loves it; I refuse to open an account.

flan

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Only an epic jerk keeps having a Hissy over nothing.

Except you don't get to decide that for someone else.

flan

just Czech · Give Me Grand's!

So, the wife is going to facebook to check on HIS photo albums.

She sounds like a real winner..

Tinydancer · Guru

It's not like she's sneaking around. I look at peoples photo albums all the time. That's what they're there for I'm pretty sure.

just Czech · Give Me Grand's!

I have been on facebook for years and have never gone to anyone's page just to look at their photo albums.

To me, that is a form or stalking. JMHO

FNW · Guru

I'm with Lily. While it's not a big deal to him, it is to her. She asked, he should just do it, unless there are kids involved. Such a small thing for him to do, and a big thing for her. When Mr. FNW & I got married we both threw out our wedding albums from our previous marriages. It was a little "ceremonial" thing where we wanted to start a fresh new life together. Sure, our pasts made us who we are today, but mistakes need to be forgiven, and put away, to move on.

I periodically remove pictures from my albums on FB. Just no need to leave old ones up forever unless there is some sentimentality attached to it. (I sometimes blog about something on FB).

Although I think the wife is giving FB too much power over her marriage, it would be more respectful for her husband to put her first publicly as well as privately, and hanging out photos of him and his ex, if that's what they are of, is not very respectful.

Tinydancer · Guru

My grandkids live in Texas. I look at their pictures all the time. My niece lives in Colorado. It's the easiest way to see pictures of her new baby. There is nothing stalkerish about looking at photos that somebody purposely put up to be looked at. That is the POINT of putting pictures up. geeesh

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Meh. She sounds like one of these whiny woman who have a perfectly fine relationship but always need to find a way to create drama. He should run. Who needs it?

just Czech · Give Me Grand's!

Oh, I put up pictures as well. But I also tend to delete.

I just do not go and look at other peoples albums. I never have.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

You have to purposefully share photos. That is quite a bit different than the 1000's of pics stored in albums.

Tinydancer · Guru

just Czech wrote:
Oh, I put up pictures as well. But I also tend to delete.

I just do not go and look at other peoples albums. I never have.

That's your prerogative but I look at albums often and many people do. That's why they have this feature. How on earth does it make it stalkerish?

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
See, that is the thing. You have already jumped to calling him an ass and all that. In reality, he is probably completely OBLIVIOUS to this issue or why it bothers her. And, again, I have seen a lot of woman blow up their own marriages with this type of thing. Their hubby doesn't jump at their command. Not because he doesn't love her but because HE doesn't see the issue with the same way she does or with the same urgency. So, then SHE just decides he is an ass or terrible person, blah blah. So, if that is the road she wants to go down then fine. Pitch a big ass fit like 2 yr old Diva and demand and get your way.

He's not oblivious. She told him it bothers her and he hasn't taken it down and they are fighting over it. That is not oblivious.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

The point of having the albums is for people to look at them.

Ohfour · Hooker

If G asked me to take down any pictures because it bothered him, it would be a non issue. They would be gone immediately. This guy is obviously "teasing" (in a cruel way) her. She needs to move on. The handling of this by him would be a deal breaker for me...

-- Edited by Ohfour on Wednesday 14th of October 2015 11:35:46 AM

Dona Worry Be Happy · Vette's SS!!

It would piss me off to no end if my bf made a fuss over my old Facebook albums. I mean, grow up and move on. Sure people may look at recent stuff, but who on earth is looking through photos from years ago??

ladyloonatic · Regular

She told her husband the pics bothered her, so I think he should take them down (unless it's a situation where their kid's are also in the pictures.)

Do I think she's over-reacting? Yes. But I still think if they bother her, he should take them down out of respect for his wife.

Mary Zombie · Guru

If he would risk losing his wife so he can leave up pics of an Ex that he's supposedly over.....then methinks he may not be over her.
Not good.

As an aside I wonder sometimes how an ex of mine feels about current GF keeping her wedding pics up...of the guy she married and divorced in less than a year....right before they met. Yep....lol.

-- Edited by Mary Zombie on Wednesday 14th of October 2015 01:42:47 PM

chef · Guru

I'm pretty sure DH doesn't have any pics of his exes on his FB. I don't think I do. I don't particularly care anyway as that chapter of our lives is closed.

FNW · Guru

I think sometimes we just forget what pics we have up on FB. But when called out on them, particularly from a spouse, then the marriage should come first and the pics be taken down.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Yes, take them down. But, I have a feeling she is going to have a long, long list of "if you really loved me you would do X....." moments. It's going to be a life sentence, lol.

Mary Zombie · Guru

Maybe not. This seems like a reasonable request. No reason to think from one thing that she's a control freak.

Ohfour · Hooker

I would not want G to have pictures of him and his ex on his Facebook. I would ask him to take them down (if ha had had any posted).

FNW · Guru

I wouldn't want to see pics of my husband and any woman not related to him up on FB, unless I was in the pic, too.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Yes, take them down. But, I have a feeling she is going to have a long, long list of "if you really loved me you would do X....." moments. It's going to be a life sentence, lol.

There is absolutely no basis for this. But it won't matter. If pictures of his ex are more important than his wife's feelings, the marriage is doomed, anyway. He'll probably cheat within a year. With the ex.

See? I can jump to wild conclusions about people based on almost nothing, too.