TOTALLY GEEKED!

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

RE: Dear Abby: Smoking Relatives

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
huskerbb wrote:

ed11563 wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Nope. Don't go. Smokers should not be smoking in an enclosed space with children. If they are too fvcking rude and ignorant to know that, they don't deserve your time.
That's absurd. Youndontn have the right to dictate what goes on in another persons home, and throwing a hissynfit because you dont get your way says a lot more about you than them.
Choosing to protect your lungs and your children is not "throwing a hissy fit".
One night a year, or ten, is not going to make a difference.

I agree with that if you are coming down with the problems I mentioned before. Yeah, breathing in some smoke isn't a big deal. People sit by campfires and breathe in smoke.

Not comparable. There is no nicotine in campfire smoke. Besides that, I don't like to breathe that in, either - I move upwind. Duh.

FNW · Guru

For some people, it's not a big deal. For others, it is. The husband is not putting his wife and children first. She gets sick for a week after cig smoke exposure. Yet, he wants to submit her to it again.

chef · Guru

Smoke is the number 1 trigger for my asthma. I avoid it as much as possible. DH is the same way. We keep DS away from smoke too. I totally understand the wife wanting to keep herself and the kids away from the party. I would do the same thing.

chef · Guru

TrudyML wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
TrudyML wrote:
LOL!

No one even knows I smoke.
See? Courteous smokers DO exist. Unfortunately, most of the ones I know live in denial of how bad it is and don't realize how it smells or affects others. If I wanted to smoke - I would. I shouldn't be forced to endure it.
Everyone is floored when they figure it out. I never throw a butt end, either. That makes me crazy.

Thank you!

I can't stand smokers who use the world as their ashtray. So rude.

TrudyML · Guru

I don't even smoke if I am cooking.

huskerbb · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
ed11563 wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Nope. Don't go. Smokers should not be smoking in an enclosed space with children. If they are too fvcking rude and ignorant to know that, they don't deserve your time.
That's absurd. Youndontn have the right to dictate what goes on in another persons home, and throwing a hissynfit because you dont get your way says a lot more about you than them.
Choosing to protect your lungs and your children is not "throwing a hissy fit".
And choosing not to attend a party is not "throwing a hissy fit". People have the right to decline attending any event they choose for any reason whatsoever.

Yeah, it is. This is an annual family gathering.

Lexxy · My dog name is Sasha, too!

TrudyML wrote:
I don't even smoke if I am cooking.

I call the ash my secret ingredient! That & cat fur.

huskerbb · Guru

No one on here would be happy if your family was having a big get together that you wanted to attend and your spouse said they weren't going and didn't want you to take your children, either.

Tinydancer · Guru

If it made my spouse or children or even myself sick then no I wouldn't go or expect them to go. That's just nuts.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I have the solution. The LW should host the party.

That way, she can make the rules.

But then she would probably complain about that.

huskerbb · Guru

Tinydancer wrote:
If it made my spouse or children or even myself sick then no I wouldn't go or expect them to go. That's just nuts.

I doubt that is even the case with the LW, but even if it is, she doesn't even say that's the case with her children.

-- Edited by huskerbb on Thursday 15th of October 2015 02:56:54 PM

Tinydancer · Guru

huskerbb wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
If it made my spouse or children or even myself sick then no I wouldn't go or expect them to go. That's just nuts.
I doubt that is even the case with the LW, but even if it is, she doesn't even say that's the case with her children.

-- Edited by huskerbb on Thursday 15th of October 2015 02:56:54 PM

" I can't handle smoke. It gives me a sore throat and I cough for a week after exposure. Because of my reaction and for the health of my children, I don't want to attend."

I guess you have comprehension issues today...

-- Edited by Tinydancer on Thursday 15th of October 2015 03:00:35 PM

just Czech · Give Me Grand's!

IMHO, this is all a control issue.

I guess it is a hill to die on.

Tinydancer · Guru

If it made me sick yes it would be a hill to die on. I can't stand the smell but at least it doesn't make me sick.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Many smokers really just do not get how absolutely horrid cigarette smoke is to non-smokers.

just Czech · Give Me Grand's!

Some people simply over react to anything they think is harmful.

Anti-vaccinators are a perfect example.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

just Czech wrote:
Some people simply over react to anything they think is harmful.

Anti-vaccinators are a perfect example.

Last I checked - one person recieving a vaccination does not mean another has to breath it, or vice versa.

just Czech · Give Me Grand's!

Lawyerlady wrote:
Many smokers really just do not get how absolutely horrid cigarette smoke is to non-smokers.

I know people who are severely allergic to perfumes too. Do you see a ban on perfumes? Or banning people who wear perfumes?

Sometimes the stench of a strong perfume makes me ill.

I get over it.

just Czech · Give Me Grand's!

Lawyerlady wrote:
just Czech wrote:
Some people simply over react to anything they think is harmful.

Anti-vaccinators are a perfect example.
Last I checked - one person recieving a vaccination does not mean another has to breath it, or vice versa.

I'm referring to mental issues..

And also to the anti-vaccinators exposing YOUR kids to disease.

-- Edited by just Czech on Thursday 15th of October 2015 03:19:39 PM

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

just Czech wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Many smokers really just do not get how absolutely horrid cigarette smoke is to non-smokers.
I know people who are severely allergic to perfumes too. Do you see a ban on perfumes? Or banning people who wear perfumes?
Sometimes the stench of a strong perfume makes me ill.
I get over it.

But would you purposefully and willingly go into a house knowing it would be filled with perfume? And stay even though it was making you sick?

And yes, some workplaces ban perfume.

TrudyML · Guru

Ugh. Perfumes. My eyes start crying.

Actually the smoke smell at the bus depot makes me gag.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

just Czech wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
just Czech wrote:
Some people simply over react to anything they think is harmful.

Anti-vaccinators are a perfect example.
Last I checked - one person recieving a vaccination does not mean another has to breath it, or vice versa.
I'm referring to mental issues..

Well then, that was a pretty ridiculous comparison. There is absolutely NO DOUBT whatsoever that cigarettes and second hand smoke are harmful. NONE.

just Czech · Give Me Grand's!

Lawyerlady wrote:
just Czech wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Many smokers really just do not get how absolutely horrid cigarette smoke is to non-smokers.
I know people who are severely allergic to perfumes too. Do you see a ban on perfumes? Or banning people who wear perfumes?
Sometimes the stench of a strong perfume makes me ill.
I get over it.
But would you purposefully and willingly go into a house knowing it would be filled with perfume? And stay even though it was making you sick?
And yes, some workplaces ban perfume.

If it's family, yes.

It's for one freakin' day. Good grief.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

just Czech wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
just Czech wrote:
Some people simply over react to anything they think is harmful.

Anti-vaccinators are a perfect example.
Last I checked - one person recieving a vaccination does not mean another has to breath it, or vice versa.
I'm referring to mental issues..
And also to the anti-vaccinators exposing YOUR kids to disease.

-- Edited by just Czech on Thursday 15th of October 2015 03:19:39 PM

My kids are vaccinated. Doesn't matter. But there is no defense against second hand cigarette smoke except avoiding it.

just Czech · Give Me Grand's!

Lawyerlady wrote:
just Czech wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
just Czech wrote:
Some people simply over react to anything they think is harmful.

Anti-vaccinators are a perfect example.
Last I checked - one person recieving a vaccination does not mean another has to breath it, or vice versa.
I'm referring to mental issues..
Well then, that was a pretty ridiculous comparison. There is absolutely NO DOUBT whatsoever that cigarettes and second hand smoke are harmful. NONE.

In ONE day of exposure?

I don't think so. No scientific proof to back that up.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

just Czech wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
just Czech wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Many smokers really just do not get how absolutely horrid cigarette smoke is to non-smokers.
I know people who are severely allergic to perfumes too. Do you see a ban on perfumes? Or banning people who wear perfumes?
Sometimes the stench of a strong perfume makes me ill.
I get over it.
But would you purposefully and willingly go into a house knowing it would be filled with perfume? And stay even though it was making you sick?
And yes, some workplaces ban perfume.
If it's family, yes.
It's for one freakin' day. Good grief.

When it is harmful to others, it is the family that should refrain for the one freakin' day. They won't die if they have to smoke outside. But, apparently, that's too much for this family in the OP. So, the best option for the LW is to decline to attend and then they get to smoke with abandon and her and her family don't have to breathe it. Win-win.

As for the lost family time - if smoking cigarettes indoors is more important than having family visit - they are not worth the time anyway.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

just Czech wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
just Czech wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
just Czech wrote:
Some people simply over react to anything they think is harmful.

Anti-vaccinators are a perfect example.
Last I checked - one person recieving a vaccination does not mean another has to breath it, or vice versa.
I'm referring to mental issues..
Well then, that was a pretty ridiculous comparison. There is absolutely NO DOUBT whatsoever that cigarettes and second hand smoke are harmful. NONE.
In ONE day of exposure?
I don't think so. No scientific proof to back that up.

The OP gets a sore throat and gets ill when she breathes it. I get a headache and my breathing is difficult. Yes, ONE DAY. Those are physical reactions that are not good.

just Czech · Give Me Grand's!

You do realize that there are more carcinogens in the air you breath in the city from exhaust, right?

I can't stand the stench of Denver. The smog is awful. Same for KC, Minneapolis, Chicago, DC and on and on..

just Czech · Give Me Grand's!

By your reasoning, I should never go to the city because it causes me discomfort for ONE day.

Yeah, I can deal with it for ONE day. But I sure as hell will never live there.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

just Czech wrote:
By your reasoning, I should never go to the city because it causes me discomfort for ONE day.

Yeah, I can deal with it for ONE day. But I sure as hell will never live there.

But it would not be your choice of where to visit, would it?

And it's not ONE day, it would be every flippin' holiday.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

just Czech wrote:
You do realize that there are more carcinogens in the air you breath in the city from exhaust, right?

I can't stand the stench of Denver. The smog is awful. Same for KC, Minneapolis, Chicago, DC and on and on..

I don't live in a big city b/c I don't want to breathe all that crap. Some people choose to - I don't. And when it is outside, it is not nearly as dangerous as when trapped inside a house.

Why do you really think anyone should have to breathe that when they don't want to? Why does a smoker's right to smoke trump a person's right not to breathe second hand smoke?

just Czech · Give Me Grand's!

Lawyerlady wrote:
just Czech wrote:
You do realize that there are more carcinogens in the air you breath in the city from exhaust, right?

I can't stand the stench of Denver. The smog is awful. Same for KC, Minneapolis, Chicago, DC and on and on..
I don't live in a big city b/c I don't want to breathe all that crap. Some people choose to - I don't. And when it is outside, it is not nearly as dangerous as when trapped inside a house.
Why do you really think anyone should have to breathe that when they don't want to? Why does a smoker's right to smoke trump a person's right not to breathe second hand smoke?

Why is one day with family, less important?

One day. Just one simple day.

just Czech · Give Me Grand's!

Lawyerlady wrote:
just Czech wrote:
By your reasoning, I should never go to the city because it causes me discomfort for ONE day.

Yeah, I can deal with it for ONE day. But I sure as hell will never live there.
But it would not be your choice of where to visit, would it?

And it's not ONE day, it would be every flippin' holiday.

That's not what the LW said. It's one day a year.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

just Czech wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
just Czech wrote:
You do realize that there are more carcinogens in the air you breath in the city from exhaust, right?

I can't stand the stench of Denver. The smog is awful. Same for KC, Minneapolis, Chicago, DC and on and on..
I don't live in a big city b/c I don't want to breathe all that crap. Some people choose to - I don't. And when it is outside, it is not nearly as dangerous as when trapped inside a house.
Why do you really think anyone should have to breathe that when they don't want to? Why does a smoker's right to smoke trump a person's right not to breathe second hand smoke?
Why is one day with family, less important?
One day. Just one simple day.

Ask the smokers that. The OP is not causing them physical illness.

just Czech · Give Me Grand's!

Lawyerlady wrote:
just Czech wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
just Czech wrote:
You do realize that there are more carcinogens in the air you breath in the city from exhaust, right?

I can't stand the stench of Denver. The smog is awful. Same for KC, Minneapolis, Chicago, DC and on and on..
I don't live in a big city b/c I don't want to breathe all that crap. Some people choose to - I don't. And when it is outside, it is not nearly as dangerous as when trapped inside a house.
Why do you really think anyone should have to breathe that when they don't want to? Why does a smoker's right to smoke trump a person's right not to breathe second hand smoke?
Why is one day with family, less important?
One day. Just one simple day.
Ask the smokers that. The OP is not causing them physical illness.

No she's not. She's just denying them their one visit a year with their grandchildren.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

just Czech wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
just Czech wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
just Czech wrote:
You do realize that there are more carcinogens in the air you breath in the city from exhaust, right?

I can't stand the stench of Denver. The smog is awful. Same for KC, Minneapolis, Chicago, DC and on and on..
I don't live in a big city b/c I don't want to breathe all that crap. Some people choose to - I don't. And when it is outside, it is not nearly as dangerous as when trapped inside a house.
Why do you really think anyone should have to breathe that when they don't want to? Why does a smoker's right to smoke trump a person's right not to breathe second hand smoke?
Why is one day with family, less important?
One day. Just one simple day.
Ask the smokers that. The OP is not causing them physical illness.
No she's not. She's just denying them their one visit a year with their grandchildren.

NOWHERE does it say that. And she's not the one who moved it to a smoking venue.

just Czech · Give Me Grand's!

Lawyerlady wrote:
just Czech wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
just Czech wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
just Czech wrote:
You do realize that there are more carcinogens in the air you breath in the city from exhaust, right?

I can't stand the stench of Denver. The smog is awful. Same for KC, Minneapolis, Chicago, DC and on and on..
I don't live in a big city b/c I don't want to breathe all that crap. Some people choose to - I don't. And when it is outside, it is not nearly as dangerous as when trapped inside a house.
Why do you really think anyone should have to breathe that when they don't want to? Why does a smoker's right to smoke trump a person's right not to breathe second hand smoke?
Why is one day with family, less important?
One day. Just one simple day.
Ask the smokers that. The OP is not causing them physical illness.
No she's not. She's just denying them their one visit a year with their grandchildren.
NOWHERE does it say that. And she's not the one who moved it to a smoking venue.

The OP states that it was at the grandparent's before this year and now it has been moved to another relatives home where they do smoke in the house. Her in-laws will be there and this is the one visit per year with her DH's family. That's how I read it.

-- Edited by just Czech on Thursday 15th of October 2015 03:42:46 PM

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

just Czech wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
just Czech wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
just Czech wrote:
You do realize that there are more carcinogens in the air you breath in the city from exhaust, right?

I can't stand the stench of Denver. The smog is awful. Same for KC, Minneapolis, Chicago, DC and on and on..
I don't live in a big city b/c I don't want to breathe all that crap. Some people choose to - I don't. And when it is outside, it is not nearly as dangerous as when trapped inside a house.
Why do you really think anyone should have to breathe that when they don't want to? Why does a smoker's right to smoke trump a person's right not to breathe second hand smoke?
Why is one day with family, less important?
One day. Just one simple day.
Ask the smokers that. The OP is not causing them physical illness.
No she's not. She's just denying them their one visit a year with their grandchildren.

If they care about their grandchildren, they would not smoke around them.

flan

just Czech · Give Me Grand's!

flan327 wrote:
just Czech wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
just Czech wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
just Czech wrote:
You do realize that there are more carcinogens in the air you breath in the city from exhaust, right?

I can't stand the stench of Denver. The smog is awful. Same for KC, Minneapolis, Chicago, DC and on and on..
I don't live in a big city b/c I don't want to breathe all that crap. Some people choose to - I don't. And when it is outside, it is not nearly as dangerous as when trapped inside a house.
Why do you really think anyone should have to breathe that when they don't want to? Why does a smoker's right to smoke trump a person's right not to breathe second hand smoke?
Why is one day with family, less important?
One day. Just one simple day.
Ask the smokers that. The OP is not causing them physical illness.
No she's not. She's just denying them their one visit a year with their grandchildren.
If they care about their grandchildren, they would not smoke around them.
flan

The grandparent's are not the ones smoking around the kids or LW when they are at their house. Venue has been moved.

Keep up girl! wink We already agreed on that part.

ed11563 · Guru

Has anyone actually tried to smoke a relative? You know, like smoking turkey?

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

just Czech wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
just Czech wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
just Czech wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
just Czech wrote:
You do realize that there are more carcinogens in the air you breath in the city from exhaust, right?

I can't stand the stench of Denver. The smog is awful. Same for KC, Minneapolis, Chicago, DC and on and on..
I don't live in a big city b/c I don't want to breathe all that crap. Some people choose to - I don't. And when it is outside, it is not nearly as dangerous as when trapped inside a house.
Why do you really think anyone should have to breathe that when they don't want to? Why does a smoker's right to smoke trump a person's right not to breathe second hand smoke?
Why is one day with family, less important?
One day. Just one simple day.
Ask the smokers that. The OP is not causing them physical illness.
No she's not. She's just denying them their one visit a year with their grandchildren.
NOWHERE does it say that. And she's not the one who moved it to a smoking venue.
The OP states that it was at the grandparent's before this year and now it has been moved to another relatives home where they do smoke in the house. Her in-laws will be there and this is the one visit per year with her DH's family. That's how I read it.

-- Edited by just Czech on Thursday 15th of October 2015 03:42:46 PM

It does not say this is the only visit with the grandparents - it's an annual event for the rest of the family. I'm sure she'd be more than willing to visit with the grandparents at their house on another day. Because, you know, the grandparents are actually nice and courteous and don't smoke around her children.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

And if the grandparents get upset about it - they can bring it back to thier house next year.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Ohfour wrote:
I smoke. And no one can tell either. And we smoke inside. People are shocked when they find out.

Well, I can attest to this first hand. AND when I sat outside with her while she smoked she made sure the smoke didn't blow in my face.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

FNW wrote:
I smoked when I was in school. Just a social smoker, but not in anyone's home or car. Outside. Still can't get rid of the smell from hair or clothes unless you shower and wash. Might be subtle, but it's there if someone gets close enough. I am overjoyed that they banned it from restaurants and office buildings. Does anyone remember when it was allowed in offices? I had a supervisor who chain smoked and try as she might to blow it behind her, the ventilation system always blew it back into the faces of anyone sitting in her office. Ugh.

I remember when it was still allowed inside. I worked, eons ago in my early twenties, at a daycare. They smoked in the office and in the breakroom. The whole damn daycare smelled of cigarette smoke. They used this disgusting orange air freshener to cover it up. It was cloyingly sweet. So then you smelled like smoke and orange. Totally disgusting.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

DS1 is very careful not to smoke in front of me.

flan

huskerbb · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
just Czech wrote:
By your reasoning, I should never go to the city because it causes me discomfort for ONE day.

Yeah, I can deal with it for ONE day. But I sure as hell will never live there.
But it would not be your choice of where to visit, would it?

And it's not ONE day, it would be every flippin' holiday.

BS. You are making crap up now. NOWHERE does the LW even say anything remotely like that.

huskerbb · Guru

I guarantee that anyone on here who had a big family event coming up that they wanted to attend would be beyond pissed if their spouse refused to go and tried to keep you from taking your children.

Bunch of hypocrites.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

huskerbb wrote:
I guarantee that anyone on here who had a big family event coming up that they wanted to attend would be beyond pissed if their spouse refused to go and tried to keep you from taking your children.

Bunch of hypocrites.

It depends on the circumstances. I can think of a LOT of circumstances that I would not be upset about if my spouse wouldn't go and take the kids. So it totally depends on the situation. This situation is one that makes that decision understandable. For me.

Ohfour · Hooker

I smoke. I dontsmoke around my grandbabies. My mother chain smokes. Her house smells like an ashtray. I go to her house reluctantly. DD will not have the kids ar her house because when you leave, you smell like an ashtray. G can tell when my mother has been in my car, even though she doesnt smoke in my car. That smell lingers. It gets in the car seats.