TOTALLY GEEKED!

Thirdhand smoke consists of the tobacco residue from cigarettes, cigars, and other tobacco products that is left behind after smoking and builds up on surfaces and furnishings. Tobacco smoke is composed of numerous types of gasses and particulate matter, including carcinogens and heavy metals, like arsenic, lead, and cyanide. Sticky, highly toxic particulates, like nicotine, can cling to walls and ceilings. Gases can be absorbed into carpets, draperies, and other upholsteries. A 2002 study found that these toxic brews can then reemit back into the air and recombine to form harmful compounds that remain at high levels long after smoking has stopped occurring.

There is a growing body of evidence that this lingering tobacco residue has significant health risks. People, especially children and hospitality industry workers, can have considerable exposure to it. As confirmed by the 2006 Surgeon General's Report, there is no safe level of exposure to tobacco smoke. And tobacco smoke toxins remain harmful even when breathed or ingested after the active smoking ends.

A study published in February 2010 found that thirdhand smoke causes the formation of carcinogens. The nicotine in tobacco smoke reacts with nitrous acid - a common component of indoor air - to form the hazardous carcinogens. Nicotine remains on surfaces for days and weeks, so the carcinogens continue to be created over time, which are then inhaled, absorbed or ingested.

From a Wall St Journal article. So yes, even being in a home where no one is actively smoking can expose you to nasty stuff. And a parent has the right to minimize their child's exposure to cancer causing materials.

-- Edited by Mellow Momma on Thursday 15th of October 2015 08:24:13 PM

flan327 wrote:

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Ohfour wrote:

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I smoke. I dontsmoke around my grandbabies. My mother chain smokes. Her house smells like an ashtray. I go to her house reluctantly. DD will not have the kids ar her house because when you leave, you smell like an ashtray. G can tell when my mother has been in my car, even though she doesnt smoke in my car. That smell lingers. It gets in the car seats.

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 1. I was pretty sure you would never dream of doing that.

2. And that is precisely what several of us have said. Thanks.

flan

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 Thanks, Flan. I smoked around my kids and I regret it every day. What an idiot I was....I would never expose the babies to that. It was a different time. But it was still wrong. DD doesn't smoke. DS does. I wish he wouldn't. ...

I know what to do_sometimes wrote:

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Lexxy wrote:

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TrudyML wrote:

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I don't even smoke if I am cooking.

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 I call the ash my secret ingredient!  That & cat fur.

 

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 Hahahaha!!!! Amen and amen....

I have been around many very considerate smokers. If they are considerate of me I don't complain about their smoking. I have a very slight case of asthma and yes, smoking is one of the absolute worst things that anyone with breathing issues can handle. I guess some people don't realize that. Also, it is a fact that people who smoke have a slightly lower sense of smell and taste than those that don't. Ask anyone who smoked for a long time and then quit. They'll tell you they never realized food tasted like this or that. So smokers often don't realize that they reek of smoke when they smoke in an enclosed space like their car. I hate picking up an infant where the parents smoke and the infant reeks of cigarettes.

Mellow Momma wrote:

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Thirdhand smoke consists of the tobacco residue from cigarettes, cigars, and other tobacco products that is left behind after smoking and builds up on surfaces and furnishings. Tobacco smoke is composed of numerous types of gasses and particulate matter, including carcinogens and heavy metals, like arsenic, lead, and cyanide. Sticky, highly toxic particulates, like nicotine, can cling to walls and ceilings. Gases can be absorbed into carpets, draperies, and other upholsteries. A 2002 study found that these toxic brews can then reemit back into the air and recombine to form harmful compounds that remain at high levels long after smoking has stopped occurring.

There is a growing body of evidence that this lingering tobacco residue has significant health risks. People, especially children and hospitality industry workers, can have considerable exposure to it. As confirmed by the 2006 Surgeon General's Report, there is no safe level of exposure to tobacco smoke. And tobacco smoke toxins remain harmful even when breathed or ingested after the active smoking ends.

A study published in February 2010 found that thirdhand smoke causes the formation of carcinogens. The nicotine in tobacco smoke reacts with nitrous acid - a common component of indoor air - to form the hazardous carcinogens. Nicotine remains on surfaces for days and weeks, so the carcinogens continue to be created over time, which are then inhaled, absorbed or ingested.

From a Wall St Journal article. So yes, even being in a home where no one is actively smoking can expose you to nasty stuff. And a parent has the right to minimize their child's exposure to cancer causing materials.

-- Edited by Mellow Momma on Thursday 15th of October 2015 08:24:13 PM

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 And here's the thing - the fact of the matter is that there are things beyond our control, and that we have to live with - like pollution.  But that only means it is even more important to control it where you can. 

And this is a no brainer.

Lawyerlady wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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I guarantee that anyone on here who had a big family event coming up that they wanted to attend would be beyond pissed if their spouse refused to go and tried to keep you from taking your children.

Bunch of hypocrites.

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 Nope.  My DH and I agree on this kind of thing.  And he would never take my kids where I was concerned about their safety.  He's just not a jerk.

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 Same here. I am trying to think of scenarios where I'd be mad at my husband for this, but if he is looking to our children's best interest I would not fault him for that, even if I didn't agree with it. 

Lawyerlady wrote:

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NAOW wrote:

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I can't even believe this thread. I don't care if it's one day, I would not subject my kids to that.

I would invite the family over another day if they wanted to see us.

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 I, personally, have never understood the rational behind having to put up with **** because "it's family".  Too bad.  Family should treat you better, and if they don't or can't - fvck em.

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 Yup. Family should be the people who treat you the best. Not the people who subject you to cancer causing agents and tell you to suck it up. My parents would never even think of subjecting their grandkids to something like that. My mom would not take them outside without sunscreen because its bad for you. Smoke is SO much worse.

-- Edited by Mellow Momma on Thursday 15th of October 2015 09:42:58 PM

Lawyerlady wrote:

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NAOW wrote:

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I can't even believe this thread. I don't care if it's one day, I would not subject my kids to that.

I would invite the family over another day if they wanted to see us.

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 I, personally, have never understood the rational behind having to put up with **** because "it's family".  Too bad.  Family should treat you better, and if they don't or can't - fvck em.

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 Mom died in December & in September, she and Dad celebrated their 50th anniversary. I was told that we were no longer welcome to stay at their house. Why? Because DH had dared to correct my grown-azz brother for screaming obscenities at Mom.

We stayed in a motel.

And I did a damn fine eulogy, if I do say so myself.

flan

Mellow Momma wrote:

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flan327 wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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NAOW wrote:

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I can't even believe this thread. I don't care if it's one day, I would not subject my kids to that.

I would invite the family over another day if they wanted to see us.

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 I, personally, have never understood the rational behind having to put up with **** because "it's family".  Too bad.  Family should treat you better, and if they don't or can't - fvck em.

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 Mom died in December & in September, she and Dad celebrated their 50th anniversary. I was told that we were no longer welcome to stay at their house. Why? Because DH had dared to correct my grown-azz brother for screaming obscenities at Mom.

We stayed in a motel.

And I did a damn fine eulogy, if I do say so myself.

flan

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 I respect you so much for being able to do that.      hugs. 

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 Honestly, I was never really close to her. And I do think that a lot of it was the way she was raised...She couldn't or wouldn't change.

The tricky part about the eulogy was that I was determined NOT to lie. After the funeral Mass, my youngest brother (the one who has basically cut me off) came up to me and thanked me. He wasn't strong enough to talk at the funeral, but I was.

flan

flan327 wrote:

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Mellow Momma wrote:

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flan327 wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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NAOW wrote:

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I can't even believe this thread. I don't care if it's one day, I would not subject my kids to that.

I would invite the family over another day if they wanted to see us.

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 I, personally, have never understood the rational behind having to put up with **** because "it's family".  Too bad.  Family should treat you better, and if they don't or can't - fvck em.

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 Mom died in December & in September, she and Dad celebrated their 50th anniversary. I was told that we were no longer welcome to stay at their house. Why? Because DH had dared to correct my grown-azz brother for screaming obscenities at Mom.

We stayed in a motel.

And I did a damn fine eulogy, if I do say so myself.

flan

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 I respect you so much for being able to do that.      hugs. 

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 Honestly, I was never really close to her. And I do think that a lot of it was the way she was raised...She couldn't or wouldn't change.

The tricky part about the eulogy was that I was determined NOT to lie. After the funeral Mass, my youngest brother (the one who has basically cut me off) came up to me and thanked me. He wasn't strong enough to talk at the funeral, but I was.

flan

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 ❤️

flan327 wrote:

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I am incredibly proud of the fact that I am NOT my mother. My "boys," at 23 & 27, are comfortable ending our conversations with "Love you, Mom."

flan

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 I feel the same way. My DDs at 17 and 24 still crawl in bed to cuddle with me when they feel the need. They get their jammies on, crawl under the covers and snuggle right up. I don't remember ever being comfortable doing that past the age of 6 or so. 

I think the thing that bothers me is when one thinks they can tell another what they can or can not do in that persons home.

You don't want to go? Fine. That is your choice.

But don't get piss cause Uncle Fred and Aunt Myrtle won't go outside to smoke when you come to their house.

I am the only smoker in my house. I do not smoke in the house. I don't smoke in my car if there is a non-smoker. I will not smoke around my grandbaby. It can be controlled. It's not that hard.

lilyofcourse wrote:

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I think the thing that bothers me is when one thinks they can tell another what they can or can not do in that persons home.

You don't want to go? Fine. That is your choice.

But don't get piss cause Uncle Fred and Aunt Myrtle won't go outside to smoke when you come to their house.

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 She is not telling them what to do in their home.  She is saying she does not want to go because of what they are doing in their home.  Why can't you understand the difference?

 

Lawyerlady wrote:

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lilyofcourse wrote:

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I think the thing that bothers me is when one thinks they can tell another what they can or can not do in that persons home.

You don't want to go? Fine. That is your choice.

But don't get piss cause Uncle Fred and Aunt Myrtle won't go outside to smoke when you come to their house.

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 She is not telling them what to do in their home.  She is saying she does not want to go because of what they are doing in their home.  Why can't you understand the difference?

 

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 No. The LW isn't saying that. 

You did.

 

Lawyerlady wrote:

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lilyofcourse wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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lilyofcourse wrote:

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I think the thing that bothers me is when one thinks they can tell another what they can or can not do in that persons home.

You don't want to go? Fine. That is your choice.

But don't get piss cause Uncle Fred and Aunt Myrtle won't go outside to smoke when you come to their house.

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 She is not telling them what to do in their home.  She is saying she does not want to go because of what they are doing in their home.  Why can't you understand the difference?

 

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 No. The LW isn't saying that. 

You did.

 

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 I did not say I tell people what to do in their home.  I said if they are such fvckwads they can't be courteous enough not to smoke when I'm there or my kids are there - then I won't go.  Simple as that. 

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 Six on way, half a dozen the other.

 

lilyofcourse wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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lilyofcourse wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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lilyofcourse wrote:

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I think the thing that bothers me is when one thinks they can tell another what they can or can not do in that persons home.

You don't want to go? Fine. That is your choice.

But don't get piss cause Uncle Fred and Aunt Myrtle won't go outside to smoke when you come to their house.

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 She is not telling them what to do in their home.  She is saying she does not want to go because of what they are doing in their home.  Why can't you understand the difference?

 

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 No. The LW isn't saying that. 

You did.

 

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 I did not say I tell people what to do in their home.  I said if they are such fvckwads they can't be courteous enough not to smoke when I'm there or my kids are there - then I won't go.  Simple as that. 

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 Six on way, half a dozen the other.

 

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 Not really.    I absolutely do not have to go to someone's house that makes it uncomfortable for me to be there. 

It's kind of like. I know this person hates fish, so by God, I am going to cook and serve fish. We all would agree that isn't very hospitable. So, if you know some has an issue with cig smoke and you are choosing to expose them to that, it is kind of the same thing. On the other hand, if they step out onto their patio and you get a waft of smoke and beitch about that, then you are wrong in that.

Tinydancer wrote:

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My right to breathe beats your right to smoke. What is so hard to understand about that? My breathing doesn't affect you whereas your smoking affects others. Easy peasy, smoke outside and you'll see your grandkids. Smoke inside "for the one day I'm there" and you are the one who made the choice. JMHO

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 Someone smoking does not affect your breathing for one day.

huskerbb wrote:

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Tinydancer wrote:

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My right to breathe beats your right to smoke. What is so hard to understand about that? My breathing doesn't affect you whereas your smoking affects others. Easy peasy, smoke outside and you'll see your grandkids. Smoke inside "for the one day I'm there" and you are the one who made the choice. JMHO

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 Someone smoking does not affect your breathing for one day.

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 That is absolutely stupid.  It most certainly does for MANY people. 

huskerbb wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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Tinydancer wrote:

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My right to breathe beats your right to smoke. What is so hard to understand about that? My breathing doesn't affect you whereas your smoking affects others. Easy peasy, smoke outside and you'll see your grandkids. Smoke inside "for the one day I'm there" and you are the one who made the choice. JMHO

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 Someone smoking does not affect your breathing for one day.

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 That is absolutely stupid.  It most certainly does for MANY people. 

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 BS.  That really is your problem, anyway, not theirs.  

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 Right. Which is why I wouldn't be going. Luckily people in my family are a little bit more considerate.

Lawyerlady wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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Tinydancer wrote:

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My right to breathe beats your right to smoke. What is so hard to understand about that? My breathing doesn't affect you whereas your smoking affects others. Easy peasy, smoke outside and you'll see your grandkids. Smoke inside "for the one day I'm there" and you are the one who made the choice. JMHO

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 Someone smoking does not affect your breathing for one day.

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 That is absolutely stupid.  It most certainly does for MANY people. 

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 BS.  That really is your problem, anyway, not theirs.  

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 My problem - my choice to stay home.  If they don't like that, well then, that is THEIR problem.

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 Again, you'd be beyond pissed if your spouse skipped a family event--and moreover refused to let you take your kids to it.  The reasons are irrelevant.

Tinydancer wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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Tinydancer wrote:

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My right to breathe beats your right to smoke. What is so hard to understand about that? My breathing doesn't affect you whereas your smoking affects others. Easy peasy, smoke outside and you'll see your grandkids. Smoke inside "for the one day I'm there" and you are the one who made the choice. JMHO

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 Someone smoking does not affect your breathing for one day.

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 That is absolutely stupid.  It most certainly does for MANY people. 

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 BS.  That really is your problem, anyway, not theirs.  

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 My problem - my choice to stay home.  If they don't like that, well then, that is THEIR problem.

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 Again, you'd be beyond pissed if your spouse skipped a family event--and moreover refused to let you take your kids to it.  The reasons are irrelevant.

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 I love how you always know exactly how someone you've never met will react...lol

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 People are predictable.  At their core, most are selfish and want what they want, no matter what anyone and everyone else might think.  That's the problem here.  The LW wants tomdomwhatbshe wants--to he!! With everyone else.

Lawyerlady wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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Tinydancer wrote:

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My right to breathe beats your right to smoke. What is so hard to understand about that? My breathing doesn't affect you whereas your smoking affects others. Easy peasy, smoke outside and you'll see your grandkids. Smoke inside "for the one day I'm there" and you are the one who made the choice. JMHO

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 Someone smoking does not affect your breathing for one day.

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 That is absolutely stupid.  It most certainly does for MANY people. 

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 BS.  That really is your problem, anyway, not theirs.  

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 My problem - my choice to stay home.  If they don't like that, well then, that is THEIR problem.

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 Again, you'd be beyond pissed if your spouse skipped a family event--and moreover refused to let you take your kids to it.  The reasons are irrelevant.

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 Oh, wow.  You so know nothing about me.  I would certainly not get upset with my spouse for skipping family events - in fact, he has done it and I didn't get mad.  And I've skipped some of his. 

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Seriously...G doesn't always go with me to family events.  And I don't always go to his.