TOTALLY GEEKED!

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

RE: Dear Abby: Smoking Relatives

NAOW · Vette's SS

lilyofcourse wrote:
Oh goodness. It's one night a year. Shut up and go.

So you won't presume to tell someone not to smoke in their own home but its perfectly OK to tell others to subject their bodies and their kids to it?

NAOW · Vette's SS

I mean, really, I rate my body higher than my home. Smokers have a right smoke in their home. I have a right to take care of my body and a obligation to take care of my kids'. Stop acting like there's something wrong with those of us who won't put ourselves in that situation.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

NAOW wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Oh goodness. It's one night a year. Shut up and go.

So you won't presume to tell someone not to smoke in their own home but its perfectly OK to tell others to subject their bodies and their kids to it?

Apparently!

So what if you have a HEADACHE for an entire week??

"Shut up and go."

flan

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

NAOW wrote:
I mean, really, I rate my body higher than my home. Smokers have a right smoke in their home. I have a right to take care of my body and a obligation to take care of my kids'. Stop acting like there's something wrong with those of us who won't put ourselves in that situation.

And how many Geeks on this one thread have stated that they NEVER smoke in the house, out of RESPECT for their family?

flan

NAOW · Vette's SS

flan327 wrote:
NAOW wrote:
I mean, really, I rate my body higher than my home. Smokers have a right smoke in their home. I have a right to take care of my body and a obligation to take care of my kids'. Stop acting like there's something wrong with those of us who won't put ourselves in that situation.
And how many Geeks on this one thread have stated that they NEVER smoke in the house, out of RESPECT for their family?
flan

Yes, and most people I know who smoke, don't do it around others who don't smoke. The people in the OP are obviously exceptions.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

NAOW wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Oh goodness. It's one night a year. Shut up and go.

So you won't presume to tell someone not to smoke in their own home but its perfectly OK to tell others to subject their bodies and their kids to it?

Yeah.

We, as a whole, are so concentratingly self centered now.

Passing up and destroying family relationships for the sake of our own comfort.

And then the "why don't they want me there" letters are written.

Followed by the "they won't come".

Then there are the "I was their this, that or the other thing, so why am I not in the will".

If you don't want to go. Don't go.

But, as said before, every action has an equal but opposite reaction.

NAOW · Vette's SS

lilyofcourse wrote:
NAOW wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Oh goodness. It's one night a year. Shut up and go.

So you won't presume to tell someone not to smoke in their own home but its perfectly OK to tell others to subject their bodies and their kids to it?
Yeah.
We, as a whole, are so concentratingly self centered now.
Passing up and destroying family relationships for the sake of our own comfort.
And then the "why don't they want me there" letters are written.
Followed by the "they won't come".
Then there are the "I was their this, that or the other thing, so why am I not in the will".
If you don't want to go. Don't go.
But, as said before, every action has an equal but opposite reaction.

Apparently all of that only goes one way.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

No. It goes both ways.

But someone has to give.

Or you end up with both sides wondering why the other is so stubborn.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

I guess I just don't understand why being able to smoke a cigarette in your own home is more important than spending the day with your grandchildren. I would give up FOOD for the day to spend it with my family. Even if it is my right to do it, some things are more important.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Well. It is fine if it is your decision.

But you have no right expecting it of another.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I find it just as ridiculous that some refuse to go to events where alcohol will not be available.

But some flat refuse to attend without booze.

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

It's not about giving up the the cigarettes. It's about control.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

lilyofcourse wrote:
Well. It is fine if it is your decision.
But you have no right expecting it of another.

But since it causes the OP physical symptoms immediately after exposure, I think she can at least expect people to be reasonable and not do it around her. It makes her sick and the family doesn't care enough to not make her ill. That's rude. Sure, it's their home and they have the RIGHT to do it, but they should value family enough and have enough courtesy to do it outside so they don't make their relative ILL! The cigarette means more to them than she does. Nice message they are sending.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Mellow Momma wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Well. It is fine if it is your decision.
But you have no right expecting it of another.

But since it causes the OP physical symptoms immediately after exposure, I think she can at least expect people to be reasonable and not do it around her. It makes her sick and the family doesn't care enough to not make her ill. That's rude. Sure, it's their home and they have the RIGHT to do it, but they should value family enough and have enough courtesy to do it outside so they don't make their relative ILL! The cigarette means more to them than she does. Nice message they are sending.

And if they choose to smoke outside, fine.

But if not, to expect them to is rude and controlling.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

And that is your OPINION.

flan

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

lilyofcourse wrote:

What I have said is that 1. a couple hours in a smoking environment won't kill anyone. And 2. there is no way I would presume to tell another what they can or can't do in their own home.

But 1. it makes her sick and no one she have to go somewhere that makes them sick. And 2. there is no way I would presume to tell another they have to go somewhere that makes them sick.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I'm tired of arguing.

I have said more than once that your stance is acceptable.

I have given the flip side of that stance and that is acceptable.

It isn't about who is right or wrong.

It is about understanding the ramifications of the actions taken.

By both sides.

Mary Zombie · Guru

Geeze. The whole point of the board is giving opinions. Captain Obvious in the house?
Anyhow. I smoke but not inside. If I still smoked inside I would refrain for a gathering.but if I were a jerk and was not willing to refrain then I don't get to be butthurt at the people that don't come. And they don't get to be butthurt at me. Some people will come, some won't.
Ta dah!
Is that the bottom line Lily?
Lol

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Mary Zombie wrote:
Geeze. The whole point of the board is giving opinions. Captain Obvious in the house?
Anyhow. I smoke but not inside. If I still smoked inside I would refrain for a gathering.but if I were a jerk and was not willing to refrain then I don't get to be butthurt at the people that don't come. And they don't get to be butthurt at me. Some people will come, some won't.
Ta dah!
Is that the bottom line Lily?
Lol

That is the bottom line, but for some reason, Lily can't see it.

Mary Zombie · Guru

No....I was kind of agreeing with her. I took her as saying both sides chose their position and neither one gets to be pizzy....it is what it is....
Unless i'm crazy.....

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Why am I the bad guy when I say that?

It may not be worded the way ya'll would like it but isn't that exactly what I've been saying?

I just don't get the hostility.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Mary Zombie wrote:
No....I was kind of agreeing with her. I took her as saying both sides chose their position and neither one gets to be pizzy....it is what it is....
Unless i'm crazy.....

I have said repeatedly that someone should get to not go if the smokers won't smoke outside. She says that "it's only one day" and "no one should tell anyone what to do in their own home" - saying the non-smokers need to suck it up and go. Which is flat out wrong. So, if you are agreeing with her - then you are wrong, too.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Ok.

I don't drink. Don't like being around people who are drinking.

So if they can't refrain while I am there. Then I'm not going.

I don't like cats in the house. Would you put your cats outside while I was there? Or would you expect me to deal with it?

My son is actually allergic to cats. So if he is there, he would be sneezing like a crazy person within 15 minutes of being there. Eyes start swelling and he starts getting an itchy throat.

But I would not expect you or anyone else to change their home to accommodate this. We would not go.

The consequences of that is not being invited in the future.

I get that.

Would we shut up and go? If I load him up with his allergy meds, he can be there for about 2 hours. And then he comes home and immediately showers.

See. I see both sides of this.

Neither is wrong.

Neither is right.

It's just two sides.

NAOW · Vette's SS

lilyofcourse wrote:
Why am I the bad guy when I say that?

It may not be worded the way ya'll would like it but isn't that exactly what I've been saying?

I just don't get the hostility.

That was not what you said. I quoted your first statement which was that people should shut up and deal with it.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

See my last post.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

I agree Lilly. There are people who flip out over everything and life and cannot tolerate ANYTHING that is even remotely bothersome to them. I guess you have to decide for yourself. If you don't mind being exposed for a few hours and you really don't have much consequence from it, then maybe you are over reacting. If you sneeze, get a sinus infection and become miserable and sick, then obviously, that is too high a price to pay. If you really, really hate it, then maybe it isn't worth it to you. On the other hand, there are things people tolerate at time when in the company of others.

NAOW · Vette's SS

Yep. I did. Which is what WE have been saying in rebuttal to your first post.

Mary Zombie · Guru

For love of....
I agree that the smokers can do what they want and so can the people not going to fhe party.
Good gravy.

If it bothers the LW that much don't go. But accept some people will think your a jerk. But you may think the same about them....so just be at peace with that.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

NAOW wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Why am I the bad guy when I say that?

It may not be worded the way ya'll would like it but isn't that exactly what I've been saying?

I just don't get the hostility.
That was not what you said. I quoted your first statement which was that people should shut up and deal with it.

And you do NOT get to make that decision for anyone BUT yourself.

flan