TOTALLY GEEKED!

ed11563 · Guru

He Wants Us to Cut Her Off.

just Czech · Give Me Grand's!

DS need to grow the f up.

Mary Zombie · Guru

This is why I am against parents getting involved in teen relationships. Very rarely are kids going to stay together.
A CW was in this position and when her son was done with the girl she had to ask her to leave. Luckily she was in college and working and was able to find something.

I think it would be nice to help her find arrangements and be friends with her....but their son should come first....and he is allowed to break up with someone.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

just Czech wrote:
DS need to grow the f up.

Yep

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

just Czech wrote:
DS need to grow the f up.

Yep. He made the choices that put him in this situation. And he should certainly NOT be bringing new girlfriend home during the school holidays.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Lawyerlady wrote:
just Czech wrote:
DS need to grow the f up.
Yep. He made the choices that put him in this situation. And he should certainly NOT be bringing new girlfriend home during the school holidays.

Pretty much agree with that too. I'd be like, "So where is your g/f gonna stay?"

Mary Zombie · Guru

We don't know that the son did anything wrong. It's normal for him to want to date in college. I think they should try and find a compromise and help her but the son has a right to move on from his HS girlfriend. Doesn't make him an Arse.

huskerbb · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
just Czech wrote:
DS need to grow the f up.
Yep. He made the choices that put him in this situation. And he should certainly NOT be bringing new girlfriend home during the school holidays.

That is BS. Just because his parents had him virtually married off in high school that means he has to stay in that relationship forever and he can never move on?

huskerbb · Guru

Mary Zombie wrote:
We don't know that the son did anything wrong. It's normal for him to want to date in college. I think they should try and find a compromise and help her but the son has a right to move on from his HS girlfriend. Doesn't make him an Arse.

Yeah. It's BS to expect that he stay in his high school relationship forever just because his parents want him to.

It's his parent's home--not his ex's.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

I don't think the parents had him "married off". Nor do I think the parents expected him to stay with her forever. Unfortunately this is a unique situation. The girl absolutely IS for all intents and purposes, their daughter. They can't just kick her out because their son feels uncomfortable bringing new girls around.

Lindley · Guru

Mary Zombie wrote:
We don't know that the son did anything wrong. It's normal for him to want to date in college. I think they should try and find a compromise and help her but the son has a right to move on from his HS girlfriend. Doesn't make him an Arse.

This, I knew a family who made their daughter's boyfriend a part of the family, they bought him a car,clothes, took him on family vacations, moved him in with them since he too had a horrible home life. The last year they were together the dd looked miserable . At Christmas he hinted that she may be getting a ring she busted into tears. Her mom was laughing about it but I felt sorry for her.

She wanted to break up but didn't want to be the jerk who ruined a good thing for her bf. After she finely got the nerve to break up they still tried to keep him part of the family but it did not work. She wanted to go on with her life but bf made it hard for her and her mother kept pushing her to get back together with bf.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Well the son has to understand that he brought this girl into the family and they can't just abandon her because his life has changed. He has to accept that his actions has consequences and, in this case, those consequences are that he has to consider her feelings w/r to any new girl he wants to bring home on school breaks. The girl will move on eventually but in the meant time she too has to try to consider his feelings as far as other girls. It's tough for everyone. I think he is being selfish. The parents do need to help the girl move on and become independent but that won't happen until she is done with college.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

huskerbb wrote:
Mary Zombie wrote:
We don't know that the son did anything wrong. It's normal for him to want to date in college. I think they should try and find a compromise and help her but the son has a right to move on from his HS girlfriend. Doesn't make him an Arse.
Yeah. It's BS to expect that he stay in his high school relationship forever just because his parents want him to.

It's his parent's home--not his ex's.

Yes, it's his parents' home. If they want to have the ex there - then that is their choice, not his.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

This is a tough one. I can understand how they have become attached to her. On the other hand, they can't expect their son to not be true to himself. And, I think their son should be able to feel comfortable to bring his new girlfriend home. And, I can understand why he doesn't want to come home and see her there. However, the parents have also made an emotional and financial investment in her. But, ultimately, I think I would have to just ask her to come when he is not around. I would explain to him that I plan to maintain a relationship with her as well. But, I would want to give my son some space and vice versa.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
This is a tough one. I can understand how they have become attached to her. On the other hand, they can't expect their son to not be true to himself. And, I think their son should be able to feel comfortable to bring his new girlfriend home. And, I can understand why he doesn't want to come home and see her there. However, the parents have also made an emotional and financial investment in her. But, ultimately, I think I would have to just ask her to come when he is not around. I would explain to him that I plan to maintain a relationship with her as well. But, I would want to give my son some space and vice versa.

We are talking about school holidays here. Neither of them live there full time anymore. We all have to spend time with people we don't want to on occasion at the holidays. And the fact of the matter is that it is not fair to expect his parents to move on from this girl simply because he wants to. He's going to have to learn to cope with it. Time to grow up.

ed11563 · Guru

He grew up with her living in the house, almost as his sister.

FNW · Guru

I think Prudie's advice is good. Their son should come first, but they can't leave this girl in the lurch. Son should be able to date whomever he pleases, and this certainly is a delicate situation.

Lexxy · My dog name is Sasha, too!

I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
Well the son has to understand that he brought this girl into the family and they can't just abandon her because his life has changed. He has to accept that his actions has consequences and, in this case, those consequences are that he has to consider her feelings w/r to any new girl he wants to bring home on school breaks. The girl will move on eventually but in the meant time she too has to try to consider his feelings as far as other girls. It's tough for everyone. I think he is being selfish. The parents do need to help the girl move on and become independent but that won't happen until she is done with college.

You put into words what was rolling around in my brain but I couldn't articulate.

I understand that this young couple broke up but I would think the son would have some compassion for his childhood friend & HS love. Hopefully with a little time he will come to see her as an old friend & not want her cut off completely.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

ed11563 wrote:

He grew up with her living in the house, almost as his sister.

But it's not his sister. She isn't their daughter.

huskerbb · Guru

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
ed11563 wrote:

He grew up with her living in the house, almost as his sister.

But it's not his sister. She isn't their daughter.

Exactly.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Sorry but there are some people you put first.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
ed11563 wrote:

He grew up with her living in the house, almost as his sister.

But it's not his sister. She isn't their daughter.

Family is what you make it. They treat her as a daughter and they don't have to stop because the son wants them to.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

They've practically adopted her. To expect his parents to put her out is unreasonable.

huskerbb · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
ed11563 wrote:

He grew up with her living in the house, almost as his sister.

But it's not his sister. She isn't their daughter.
Family is what you make it. They treat her as a daughter and they don't have to stop because the son wants them to.

Maybe not--but to expect that he never get another girlfriend and never bring her home is beyond unreasonable.

If shes a daughter--then they've been encouraging incest.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

They've practically adopted her. To expect his parents to put her out is unreasonable.

To expect him to stay with her forever is also unreasonable. They don't get to choose his mate for him.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

They've practically adopted her. To expect his parents to put her out is unreasonable.

To expect him to stay with her forever is also unreasonable. They don't get to choose his mate for him.

He doesn't have to stay with her. But he will have to put up with her presence.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

He should not be expected to date her forever. But it is unreasonable on his part to expect his parents to cut her loose.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

huskerbb wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
ed11563 wrote:

He grew up with her living in the house, almost as his sister.

But it's not his sister. She isn't their daughter.
Family is what you make it. They treat her as a daughter and they don't have to stop because the son wants them to.
Maybe not--but to expect that he never get another girlfriend and never bring her home is beyond unreasonable.
If shes a daughter--then they've been encouraging incest.

I would not want my kids bringing home every person they decide to date for the holidays. There is absolutely no reason for this girlfriend to be staying at their house until they know it is serious enough. Casual boyfriends/girlfriends don't make the cut.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Not to mention the son cheated on the poor girl. He's the cad - he needs to live with that and the consequences of it.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Lawyerlady wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
ed11563 wrote:

He grew up with her living in the house, almost as his sister.

But it's not his sister. She isn't their daughter.
Family is what you make it. They treat her as a daughter and they don't have to stop because the son wants them to.
Maybe not--but to expect that he never get another girlfriend and never bring her home is beyond unreasonable.
If shes a daughter--then they've been encouraging incest.
I would not want my kids bringing home every person they decide to date for the holidays. There is absolutely no reason for this girlfriend to be staying at their house until they know it is serious enough. Casual boyfriends/girlfriends don't make the cut.

Sparkly didn't come over the first year they were dating. They started dating in August and they spent the second Thanksgiving and Christmas with us. We down played it also because we didn't know how he would take it. This is the third year (holiday wise) they are together and he is part of the family now. They are also living together now though.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

They've practically adopted her. To expect his parents to put her out is unreasonable.

To expect him to stay with her forever is also unreasonable. They don't get to choose his mate for him.
He doesn't have to stay with her. But he will have to put up with her presence.

Well no, he doesnt' have to "put up with it". He may just choose to not go home at all and maybe go to GF's house instead. It isn't unreasonable for him to want to come home and be with his parents whom are his parents. But, I don't think they should toss her to the curb either, but I think they need to face the reality that they are not a couple.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

BTW, what about spending HIS in inheritance on paying for her college? How is that "fair"?

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

They've practically adopted her. To expect his parents to put her out is unreasonable.

To expect him to stay with her forever is also unreasonable. They don't get to choose his mate for him.
He doesn't have to stay with her. But he will have to put up with her presence.

Well no, he doesnt' have to "put up with it". He may just choose to not go home at all and maybe go to GF's house instead. It isn't unreasonable for him to want to come home and be with his parents whom are his parents. But, I don't think they should toss her to the curb either, but I think they need to face the reality that they are not a couple.

I think the parents HAVE accepted that they are not a couple. It says they're devastated they're broken up but it doesn't say they want them to get back together. They only say that they consider her like a daughter too.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Well, he doesn't consider her to be his sister.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

No he doesn't. But the parents do and it's their home. If you don't like the rules in your parents home get your own.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

It's their home. They can do what they want. They can say "Tough taters, she is here to stay, we love her and if you come home she is going to be here". Then, he can decide what he wants to do either way. Or they can tell her that they need some time alone to spend with their son and she will have to go else where. It's there home. They can choose either.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
It's their home. They can do what they want. They can say "Tough taters, she is here to stay, we love her and if you come home she is going to be here". Then, he can decide what he wants to do either way. Or they can tell her that they need some time alone to spend with their son and she will have to go else where. It's there home. They can choose either.

That pretty much sums it up!

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Yup! I wrapped it up neat and tidy with a bow and all!

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Now can you solve Thanksgiving?

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Yes grasshopper. I can solve anything.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
BTW, what about spending HIS in inheritance on paying for her college? How is that "fair"?

He doesn't have an inheritance - his parents are alive.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

And I keep hearing people say it's the parents money until they die.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
BTW, what about spending HIS in inheritance on paying for her college? How is that "fair"?

You had to go there, didn't you??

Ohfour · Hooker

They are paying for her books and dorm. Hardly paying for her full college expenses...

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
BTW, what about spending HIS in inheritance on paying for her college? How is that "fair"?
He doesn't have an inheritance - his parents are alive.

Then, they can spend it who they want and nobody is entitled to it? COrrect?

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Ohfour wrote:

They are paying for her books and dorm. Hardly paying for her full college expenses...

Dorm costs? Um, that ain't cheap.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

I know what to do_sometimes wrote:

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
BTW, what about spending HIS in inheritance on paying for her college? How is that "fair"?
You had to go there, didn't you??

You must not know me very well yet. wink

Ohfour · Hooker

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Ohfour wrote:

They are paying for her books and dorm. Hardly paying for her full college expenses...

Dorm costs? Um, that ain't cheap.

Here, in state dorms are $1500 a year. Books are about $300.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
BTW, what about spending HIS in inheritance on paying for her college? How is that "fair"?
He doesn't have an inheritance - his parents are alive.

Then, they can spend it who they want and nobody is entitled to it? COrrect?

Correct!

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Room and Board for a year at Penn State is over $10k. Not including tuition. Guess u guys have some cheap ass schools there!

TOTALLY GEEKED!

Dumped Again

Prudie counsels parents whose son wants them to cut off the ex-girlfriend they helped to raise.