TOTALLY GEEKED!

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

RE: He Wants Us to Cut Her Off.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
flan327 wrote:

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
That's fine and dandy but if you want to put an ex from a teen age romance on the same level as your child, then I guess that's your choice.
But it was their CHILD who asked his parents to help the girl in the first place!
flan

So what? He was a dumb immature kid. DO you let your teens make all your decisions for you?

Well, when DS1 was a freshman in college, I let his GF stay with us during the breaks...same situation, an abusive mother.

flan

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
flan327 wrote:

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
That's fine and dandy but if you want to put an ex from a teen age romance on the same level as your child, then I guess that's your choice.
But it was their CHILD who asked his parents to help the girl in the first place!
flan

So what? He was a dumb immature kid. DO you let your teens make all your decisions for you?

That actually applies right now, too.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Indeed it does, LL!

flan

Mary Zombie · Guru

Again. The Ex needs to find a bigger support network and back off a bit. She can still have a.relationship with his parents but not on his time.
That's just how it is sometimes.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

It's the PARENTS' decision.

flan

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Yes. And, you can' do whatever the heck you please. But I am not going to treat some ex as if it is the SAME or as an important relationship with my own flesh and blood child. Sorry.

huskerbb · Guru

flan327 wrote:
It's the PARENTS' decision.

flan

Yeah--and choosing an ex girlfriend over their son is STUPID.

huskerbb · Guru

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Yes. And, you can' do whatever the heck you please. But I am not going to treat some ex as if it is the SAME or as an important relationship with my own flesh and blood child. Sorry.

No kidding. And then these same daft parents wonder why, 10 years down the road, their son never calls, writes, or visits, and they'll be writing in to the same column whining about that. Well, duh. You reap what you sow.

Jane will be long gone by then living her own life and they'll be alone.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

huskerbb wrote:
flan327 wrote:
It's the PARENTS' decision.

flan
Yeah--and choosing an ex girlfriend over their son is STUPID.

It sounds like they consider HER a daughter. And it was the SON who asked them to help.

flan

huskerbb · Guru

flan327 wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
flan327 wrote:
It's the PARENTS' decision.

flan
Yeah--and choosing an ex girlfriend over their son is STUPID.
It sounds like they consider HER a daughter. And it was the SON who asked them to help.
flan

They made a bad decision. They are the parents. They should have said "no" to their son when he was in high school. They should have had enough wisdom to know that high school relationships rarely last.

This is a situation much more their making than that of their son's.

If they want to choose her over their son--fine--but mark my words. In 10 years neither one of them will be around if they make that choice.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

I have a feeling Jane won't just run off one day when she meets a boy and gets serious. It's very important to girls/woman to have a man in their life. She will want their love and support. I will bet you that she asks her "father" to walk her down the aisle if she gets married.

huskerbb · Guru

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
I have a feeling Jane won't just run off one day when she meets a boy and gets serious. It's very important to girls/woman to have a man in their life. She will want their love and support. I will bet you that she asks her "father" to walk her down the aisle if she gets married.

I bet she asks her father, too. The homeless guy.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

huskerbb wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
I have a feeling Jane won't just run off one day when she meets a boy and gets serious. It's very important to girls/woman to have a man in their life. She will want their love and support. I will bet you that she asks her "father" to walk her down the aisle if she gets married.
I bet she asks her father, too. The homeless guy.

You are dead wrong. My DH has "raised" my kids. DN talks about how important he is in her life and how he is the only father she's ever known. She has a bio father who is a drunk. She wants nothing to do with him. Bio means absolutely nothing. You may think so but that's not how it works. My DH is her father for all intensive purposes.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

huskerbb wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
I have a feeling Jane won't just run off one day when she meets a boy and gets serious. It's very important to girls/woman to have a man in their life. She will want their love and support. I will bet you that she asks her "father" to walk her down the aisle if she gets married.
I bet she asks her father, too. The homeless guy.

He's just a sperm donor, imo.

flan

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

flan327 wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
I have a feeling Jane won't just run off one day when she meets a boy and gets serious. It's very important to girls/woman to have a man in their life. She will want their love and support. I will bet you that she asks her "father" to walk her down the aisle if she gets married.
I bet she asks her father, too. The homeless guy.
He's just a sperm donor, imo.
flan

Yes, he is...

Mary Zombie · Guru

huskerbb wrote:
flan327 wrote:
It's the PARENTS' decision.

flan
Yeah--and choosing an ex girlfriend over their son is STUPID.

Flan. The girl is an adult now. Capable of using common sense and not put the parents in a position of having to choose. SHE should make the right decision now.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Mary Zombie wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
flan327 wrote:
It's the PARENTS' decision.

flan
Yeah--and choosing an ex girlfriend over their son is STUPID.
Flan. The girl is an adult now. Capable of using common sense and not put the parents in a position of having to choose. SHE should make the right decision now.

Nope, it's not on her. If she has found a "family," why should she be forced to spend school vacations alone? And most kids in college aren't adults yet.

flan

Mary Zombie · Guru

She's going to have to find other support systems eventually. I don't see why she would want to be there under the circumstances.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Okay, so let me get this straight. The girl, who didn't ask to be put in this position, is a grown up and needs to forsake the only family she's ever known and just go find some other family who is going to let her mooch off them for the entire holidays. But the son who is NOT grown up, even though they're the same age and is an entitled spoiled brat, can demand anything out of his parents. That makes perfect sense.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Okay, so let me get this straight. The girl, who didn't ask to be put in this position, is a grown up and needs to forsake the only family she's ever known and just go find some other family who is going to let her mooch off them for the entire holidays. But the son who is NOT grown up, even though they're the same age and is an entitled spoiled brat, can demand anything out of his parents. That makes perfect sense.

Apparently...

flan

Mary Zombie · Guru

Again. They don't have to cut her off completely but she should be thinking about other options for this holiday season. Why would she want to be around her ex right now?
The parents should never have allowed this situation in the first place.

-- Edited by Mary Zombie on Sunday 25th of October 2015 03:10:43 PM

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Most college kids are off for about a month around Christmas. So what are these people supposed to do? Start calling all the girls friends and tell them they need to take the girl off their hands for a whole month? Who's going to do that? That's not even realistic.

huskerbb · Guru

flan327 wrote:
Mary Zombie wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
flan327 wrote:
It's the PARENTS' decision.

flan
Yeah--and choosing an ex girlfriend over their son is STUPID.
Flan. The girl is an adult now. Capable of using common sense and not put the parents in a position of having to choose. SHE should make the right decision now.
Nope, it's not on her. If she has found a "family," why should she be forced to spend school vacations alone? And most kids in college aren't adults yet.
flan

Yet you are expecting their son to be an "adult" here and make all the right decisions. HYPOCRITE.

ed11563 · Guru

I'd be happy to have her stay here. I always wanted a daughter too.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

huskerbb wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Mary Zombie wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
flan327 wrote:
It's the PARENTS' decision.

flan
Yeah--and choosing an ex girlfriend over their son is STUPID.
Flan. The girl is an adult now. Capable of using common sense and not put the parents in a position of having to choose. SHE should make the right decision now.
Nope, it's not on her. If she has found a "family," why should she be forced to spend school vacations alone? And most kids in college aren't adults yet.
flan
Yet you are expecting their son to be an "adult" here and make all the right decisions. HYPOCRITE.

Neither one is an ADULT.

flan

huskerbb · Guru

flan327 wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Mary Zombie wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
flan327 wrote:
It's the PARENTS' decision.

flan
Yeah--and choosing an ex girlfriend over their son is STUPID.
Flan. The girl is an adult now. Capable of using common sense and not put the parents in a position of having to choose. SHE should make the right decision now.
Nope, it's not on her. If she has found a "family," why should she be forced to spend school vacations alone? And most kids in college aren't adults yet.
flan
Yet you are expecting their son to be an "adult" here and make all the right decisions. HYPOCRITE.
Neither one is an ADULT.
flan

But you expect one to make all these adult decisions--and the other doesn't have to.

Mary Zombie · Guru

If they are college age they are adults. I know plenty of people who married and started families at that age. The girl can be an adult, have some pride and go home with a friend for christmas this year.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Mary Zombie wrote:
If they are college age they are adults. I know plenty of people who married and started families at that age. The girl can be an adult, have some pride and go home with a friend for christmas this year.

Why can't she go home to the FAMILY who took her in when she needed it???????????????

flan

huskerbb · Guru

flan327 wrote:
Mary Zombie wrote:
If they are college age they are adults. I know plenty of people who married and started families at that age. The girl can be an adult, have some pride and go home with a friend for christmas this year.
Why can't she go home to the FAMILY who took her in when she needed it???????????????
flan

That's a dumb question--and shouldn't even be a question.

Despite the nonsense and bullsh!t that some people have been posting on here--MOST people are not overjoyed to spend time with ex boyfriends/girlfriends.

Tinydancer · Guru

You are not the norm for people who actually have feelings husker. If you would be cold enough to cut off someone you came to look at a daughter because your spoiled son thinks he can dictate who you love and who you don't then good for you.

huskerbb · Guru

Tinydancer wrote:
You are not the norm for people who actually have feelings husker. If you would be cold enough to cut off someone you came to look at a daughter because your spoiled son thinks he can dictate who you love and who you don't then good for you.

It's not about cutting anyone off, or about who you love. It's absurd that you think it's even about that. It's about coming up with a compromise--which is what the original advice said to do.