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Post Info TOPIC: Woman Arrested For Masturbating With Jimmy Dean Sausage In Walmart Bathroom
Nobody Just Nobody


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Woman Arrested For Masturbating With Jimmy Dean Sausage In Walmart Bathroom
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http://now8news.com/jimmy-dean-sausage-in-walmart-bathroom/

SAUSAGE.jpg

News 8 Louisiana –  Police are calling this a crime of the unthinkable, something that most people would never imagine doing. On Monday, police were called to a Louisiana Walmart under the suspicion that a customer was shoplifting food. According to the complaint, a Walmart worker radioed security about a suspicious woman in the meat aisle. Security cameras filmed 33-year-old Shaniqua Johnson shoving sausages under her shirt. CCTV footage then shows the woman walking to the bathroom, where she remained for at least 30 minutes.

The male security guard says he knocked on the bathroom door several times but the woman did not respond. He then announced he was entering. What he found behind the door of the unlocked stall is something he said will “haunt his dreams forever.” The security guard reports when he entered the stall, Johnson was inappropriately pleasing herself with a Jimmy Dean package of sausage. He said that when he entered “She didn’t even stop. She just stared at me and kept going.”

Shocked, and also frightened for his safety due to the fact that Johnson is a “big girl,” the 140 pound security guard said he ran out until police arrived. When they did, female officers entered the restroom with Johnson still “putting in work with the sausage.” All in all, it took 7 police officers to restrain Johnson and pry the victimized sausage out of the woman’s hands. She was arrested and taken into custody where she was charged with shoplifting, indecent exposure, and resisting arrest. Walmart management said in no way do they tolerate this type of behavior. They have a strict policy against shoplifters and a sign on the bathroom door that clearly reads, “No merchandise allowed beyond this point.”

- See more at: http://now8news.com/jimmy-dean-sausage-in-walmart-bathroom/#sthash.g7lYg3mU.dpuf


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OMG, I knew I should not have opened this thread. So much wrong...

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Nobody Just Nobody


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I had to. I just had to.

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Southern_Belle


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Crossing Jimmy Dean sausage off of any future shopping list.

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Southern_Belle wrote:

Crossing Jimmy Dean sausage off of any future shopping list.

 Shopping list? It has been erased from my vocabulary.



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Mellow Momma


Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

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This can't even be the most disgusting thing to happen in a WalMart bathroom.

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flan327


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HER PHOTO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



flan

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Nobody Just Nobody


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Well, after seeing the photo you understand why she has to masturbate...

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Mellow Momma


Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

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Wouldn't a sausage link be a bit...well...under whelming? Smallish?

Like throwing a hot dog down a hallway...

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Nobody Just Nobody


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I was thinking that short fat roll of Jimmy Dean...

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premium_all_natural_regular_pork_sausage.ashx



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Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

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Makes more sense. Still disgusting.

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Fort Worth Mom


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Oh my gosh!

NJN wins for the gross out story of the day!wink



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flan327


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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

Well, after seeing the photo you understand why she has to masturbate...

 Yup.

flan



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flan327


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I knew what she was using...

And, no, I have my own toy!

flan

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Southern_Belle


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I wouldn't have wanted to be the one collecting that evidence!

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I hope they didn't put it back in the freezer to try and sell it😨

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Fort Worth Mom wrote:

Oh my gosh!

NJN wins for the gross out story of the day!wink

 We should start a thread for "The most gross story of the day"



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Nobody Just Nobody


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The disgusting factor is what makes this a good thread. I just knew if I posted it I could count on my good geeks to come out and comment! And I'll gladly take the most gross story of they day!

I have no idea where or what was done with the evidence and I don't want to know!

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flan327


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The headline alone is gold!

flan

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ed11563


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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

Well, after seeing the photo you understand why she has to masturbate...

My Aunt Sarah once told me that any woman who wants to get laid, can get laid. 

 

I wonder how high this woman's standards are that she couldn't find some equally well-built guy.

 



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karl271


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I could easily have gone the rest of my life (be that short or long) without seeing this Headline and/or article.  wink

Do people have any idea of what their actions will result in or are they just in their own little dream land??



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Nobody Just Nobody


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karl271 wrote:

I could easily have gone the rest of my life (be that short or long) without seeing this Headline and/or article.  wink

Do people have any idea of what their actions will result in or are they just in their own little dream land??

 Yes?



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ed11563


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I was just looking at the "black on black crime" thread, and thinking ...

at least Jimmy Dean Sausage won't leave her pregnant then disappear.



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karl271 wrote:

I could easily have gone the rest of my life (be that short or long) without seeing this Headline and/or article.  wink

Do people have any idea of what their actions will result in or are they just in their own little dream land??

 Oh Karl, so glad you are still on board with, how do I say this delicately? She is just Yechhhhh.



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ed11563 wrote:

I was just looking at the "black on black crime" thread, and thinking ...

at least Jimmy Dean Sausage won't leave her pregnant then disappear.

   so true



-- Edited by I know what to do_sometimes on Saturday 24th of October 2015 07:24:34 PM

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Where's the beef?

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What he found behind the door of the unlocked stall is something he said will “haunt his dreams forever.”

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

Where's the beef?

 It was probably next in line to be abused once she was done with the sausage ...



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Nobody Just Nobody


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chef wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

Where's the beef?

 It was probably next in line to be abused once she was done with the sausage ...

 



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Southern_Belle


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I wish she would have just spent a few bucks and carried it home to do the deed. Poor security dude.

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chef


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So many so very wrong remarks I could make and so little time :P

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Southern_Belle wrote:

I wish she would have just spent a few bucks and carried it home to do the deed. Poor security dude.

 Maybe she didn't want to buy the whole chub for just a little sausage ...



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Everyone has that special someone. Hers is Bob.

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Southern_Belle


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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

Everyone has that special someone. Hers is Bob.

 You mean Jimmy. 



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Southern_Belle


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Maybe she can't afford a B.O.B.

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oh yeah thinking of BobEvans lol!

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chef wrote:
Southern_Belle wrote:

I wish she would have just spent a few bucks and carried it home to do the deed. Poor security dude.

 Maybe she didn't want to buy the whole chub for just a little sausage ...

 I wondered that too!  Maybe she doesn't want the whole pig just for a little sausage...



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Nobody Just Nobody


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I'm wondering, was it precooked or low fat?

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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
chef wrote:
Southern_Belle wrote:

I wish she would have just spent a few bucks and carried it home to do the deed. Poor security dude.

 Maybe she didn't want to buy the whole chub for just a little sausage ...

 I wondered that too!  Maybe she doesn't want the whole pig just for a little sausage...

 



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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

I'm wondering, was it precooked or low fat?

 Whatever would make it harder ...



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chef wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

I'm wondering, was it precooked or low fat?

 Whatever would make it harder ...

 OMG These responses are priceless! 



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chef


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The stuffing I make for MIL (her mom's recipe) uses Jimmy Dean sausage. Any bets I will crack up laughing when I grab it off the shelf?

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chef wrote:

The stuffing I make for MIL (her mom's recipe) uses Jimmy Dean sausage. Any bets I will crack up laughing when I grab it off the shelf?

 Or while MIL is eating it on TG? You will crack up and be forever known as the crazy family member.



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chef wrote:

The stuffing I make for MIL (her mom's recipe) uses Jimmy Dean sausage. Any bets I will crack up laughing when I grab it off the shelf?

 Just don't stuff it down your pants on the way out the door.



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I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
chef wrote:

The stuffing I make for MIL (her mom's recipe) uses Jimmy Dean sausage. Any bets I will crack up laughing when I grab it off the shelf?

 Or while MIL is eating it on TG? You will crack up and be forever known as the crazy family member.

 Probably! I'll probably snort in laughter after she takes a bite.

The crazy family member badge belongs to FIL though. No danger in me usurping that badge ...



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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
chef wrote:

The stuffing I make for MIL (her mom's recipe) uses Jimmy Dean sausage. Any bets I will crack up laughing when I grab it off the shelf?

 Just don't stuff it down your pants on the way out the door.

 

Oh man ... I started laughing so hard DH looked over at me!



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Is this a fake news site? Like the onion? This whole story seems off.

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