Emily Yoffe, aka Dear Prudence, is online weekly to chat live with readers. An edited transcript of the chat is below. (Sign up below to get Dear Prudence delivered to your inbox each week. Read Prudie’s Slate columnshere. Send questions to Prudence at prudence@slate.com.)
Q. Staying With the Anti-Choice Doctor: I live in a small town, and recently a number of local doctors signed a petition against Planned Parenthood, based on proven lies and obfuscation of facts. I was horrified to find a number of my own providers on the list, including a physician at my group OB practice. I am pregnant with my second child now, but long ago I had an abortion. I feel legitimately concerned about the quality of care I might receive if my OB knows I had an abortion (I disclosed this on my medical history). I’m almost into my third trimester, but I’m completely panicked about the potential of a doctor who may judge me or even deny me crucial medical care if something devastating were to happen during my pregnancy. I want to switch practices, but my husband thinks I am overreacting. There are not many other OBs in town. Should I talk to someone at the practice about my concerns? Am I being unreasonable here?
A: I think it’s perfectly fine for you to talk to your primary physician in this group practice, one who didn’t sign the letter, about the concerns it raised for you. Explain that of course doctors are free to sign petitions and letters, but you were disturbed that physicians would sign onto a letter that was demonstrably false. You can add that because you had an abortion, and that fact is in your chart, you were concerned about the care you might get from the doctor in the group who signed the letter. I’m sure your doctor will reassure you about the group practice and about the professionalism of the doctor who signed. That should reassure you that no matter what the doctor’s personal beliefs, you do not have to worry about the level of care you will receive. Having done that, I think you should then let this go. You are near the finish line, and you have doctors you like. I agree with your husband that there is no reason to create a major disruption now in your care.
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The Principle of Least Interest: He who cares least about a relationship, controls it.
So she had no complaints about the care he provided before, but now she does.
If it bothers you that much, switch doctors. But I seriously doubt you are going to find any private practice OB that supports Planned Parenthood's practices. Good luck with that.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
So she had no complaints about the care he provided before, but now she does.
If it bothers you that much, switch doctors. But I seriously doubt you are going to find any private practice OB that supports Planned Parenthood's practices. Good luck with that.
No not to many. They choose the profession to bring life into the world not to kill life. In the rare real cases of the mothers life in danger but not for convenience of the mother.
Are we going to start sending out political surveys to see if the people who cut our hair share our views on gun control? Do we need to find out where the owner of the meat market stands on Obamacare?
We profess to want politicians who can "Reach across the aisle" and work with members of the other party, but we can't even do business with them if they don't correspond to our views 100%?
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I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.
Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.
So she had no complaints about the care he provided before, but now she does.
If it bothers you that much, switch doctors. But I seriously doubt you are going to find any private practice OB that supports Planned Parenthood's practices. Good luck with that.
No not to many. They choose the profession to bring life into the world not to kill life. In the rare real cases of the mothers life in danger but not for convenience of the mother.
I actually wasn't referring to that specifically. I'm talking about surgeries in a walk-in clinic with doctors who may not be admitted to practice at nearby facilities - no hospital priviledges, handing out abortion drugs without proper follow-up. A good OB takes care of his patients and cares about them - Planned Parenthood does not.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
All I can say is, I guess she should have thought about this before she killed her baby.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
Well, it seems that applies to the doctor as well, because he may lose a patient.
I'm sure that's not going to hurt him. He will probably be inundated with women wanting to see him because of his stance. That's usually how these things work...
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America guarantees equal opportunity, not equal outcome...
I doubt it. I want children, and would never even consider an abortion under everyday circumstances, but I would never ever want a vehemently anti choice doctor. If my pregnancy, God forbid, puts my life at risk, I want a doctor that will be open and honest about ALL my options, including abortion.
I doubt it. I want children, and would never even consider an abortion under everyday circumstances, but I would never ever want a vehemently anti choice doctor. If my pregnancy, God forbid, puts my life at risk, I want a doctor that will be open and honest about ALL my options, including abortion.
See, here, these doctors offices would be overflowing. If you are a Christian company, you get more business than you can handle. We have Christian Classifieds, and the majority of people will look here before anywhere else. Just about every business has some sort of bible verse either on their marquee or painted on the walls. The car dealerships, the gym, even the grocery stores.
And most doctors are against elective abortions. There are few that will not abort to save the life or health of the mother. The doctors that signed this petition aren't necessarily vehemently anti-choice. They are anti elective abortion. Which is what planned parenthood is all about...
-- Edited by Ohfour on Tuesday 27th of October 2015 04:50:52 PM
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America guarantees equal opportunity, not equal outcome...
I doubt it. I want children, and would never even consider an abortion under everyday circumstances, but I would never ever want a vehemently anti choice doctor. If my pregnancy, God forbid, puts my life at risk, I want a doctor that will be open and honest about ALL my options, including abortion.
See, here, these doctors offices would be overflowing. If you are a Christian company, you get more business than you can handle. We have Christian Classifieds, and the majority of people will look here before anywhere else. Just about every business has some sort of bible verse either on their marquee or painted on the walls. The car dealerships, the gym, even the grocery stores.
And most doctors are against elective abortions. There are few that will not abort to save the life or health of the mother. The doctors that signed this petition aren't necessarily vehemently anti-choice. They are anti elective abortion. Which is what planned parenthood is all about...
-- Edited by Ohfour on Tuesday 27th of October 2015 04:50:52 PM
And things are very different here. Things that make it a point of broadcasting how very Christian they are--Inns, printing companies, florists, etc, mostly get their clientele from other Christians, not droves of random people. A doctor that makes a point of being anti choice would most likely see his business shrink slightly.
In my COUNTY alone, (and I live in the suburbs) we have over 200 Christian Churches. I would venture to say that 90% of our population would call themselves Christian. So it bodes well for Christian business to set up shop here...
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America guarantees equal opportunity, not equal outcome...
In my COUNTY alone, (and I live in the suburbs) we have over 200 Christian Churches. I would venture to say that 90% of our population would call themselves Christian. So it bodes well for Christian business to set up shop here...
Yes, but the entire country is not the same as your county.
In my COUNTY alone, (and I live in the suburbs) we have over 200 Christian Churches. I would venture to say that 90% of our population would call themselves Christian. So it bodes well for Christian business to set up shop here...
Yes, but the entire country is not the same as your county.
flan
A agree, but it sounds like, from the letter, she lives somewhere similar to my town/county...
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America guarantees equal opportunity, not equal outcome...
Then again, there would be no way that my county would allow a planned parenthood. The closest one to us is over 20 miles away in Nashville. And there is only one there and they are only open half a day M-S, closed on Sunday.
The next nearest one is 150 miles away in Evansville, KY. We aren't real big on baby killing around here...
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America guarantees equal opportunity, not equal outcome...
Then again, there would be no way that my county would allow a planned parenthood. The closest one to us is over 20 miles away in Nashville. And there is only one there and they are only open half a day M-S, closed on Sunday. The next nearest one is 150 miles away in Evansville, KY. We aren't real big on baby killing around here...
Then again, there would be no way that my county would allow a planned parenthood. The closest one to us is over 20 miles away in Nashville. And there is only one there and they are only open half a day M-S, closed on Sunday. The next nearest one is 150 miles away in Evansville, KY. We aren't real big on baby killing around here...
Do you want a gold star?
flan
Absolutely. Know how many murders we've had in the past 5 years? 1. A moral society is a safe society. And killing babies is not moral.
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America guarantees equal opportunity, not equal outcome...
A moral society is a safe society. And killing babies is not moral.
Truer words were never spoken.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
I doubt it. I want children, and would never even consider an abortion under everyday circumstances, but I would never ever want a vehemently anti choice doctor. If my pregnancy, God forbid, puts my life at risk, I want a doctor that will be open and honest about ALL my options, including abortion.
See, here, these doctors offices would be overflowing. If you are a Christian company, you get more business than you can handle. We have Christian Classifieds, and the majority of people will look here before anywhere else. Just about every business has some sort of bible verse either on their marquee or painted on the walls. The car dealerships, the gym, even the grocery stores.
And most doctors are against elective abortions. There are few that will not abort to save the life or health of the mother. The doctors that signed this petition aren't necessarily vehemently anti-choice. They are anti elective abortion. Which is what planned parenthood is all about...
-- Edited by Ohfour on Tuesday 27th of October 2015 04:50:52 PM
And things are very different here. Things that make it a point of broadcasting how very Christian they are--Inns, printing companies, florists, etc, mostly get their clientele from other Christians, not droves of random people. A doctor that makes a point of being anti choice would most likely see his business shrink slightly.
He didn't make a "point" of it.
Can we not vote our conscience now? Is that where the liberals are going with this?
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I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.
Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.
Absolutely. Know how many murders we've had in the past 5 years? 1. A moral society is a safe society. And killing babies is not moral.
It keeps coming back to the question, When does a fetus become a baby?
One group says "at the moment when sperm meets ovum";
One group says "when it takes its' first breath".
And some people have chosen some point in between.
It's a baby the second it is conceived.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
Then why does ohfour's county have so many gun owners?
flan
So owning a gun is immoral but killing a baby is not?
There you have it folks! The logic of the left!
You SAID that a moral society is a SAFE society...Why the need for guns in your moral county?
flan
??? What do guns have to do with safety???
Oh, please, that has been said countless time here.
"I need a gun to protect my family..."
flan
Ever think that our crime rate is low BECAUSE we have guns? Criminals stay away from here. They know we will shoot them in a heartbeat if the broke into our house. And ONE murder. Doesnt that prove that gun ownership makes a town safer? No one one is killing people with our plethora of guns. Whats the homicide rate in your county?
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America guarantees equal opportunity, not equal outcome...
Absolutely. Know how many murders we've had in the past 5 years? 1. A moral society is a safe society. And killing babies is not moral.
It keeps coming back to the question, When does a fetus become a baby?
One group says "at the moment when sperm meets ovum";
One group says "when it takes its' first breath".
And some people have chosen some point in between.
It's a baby the second it is conceived.
So you should complain about the way God treats babies, because 25% of fertilized eggs spontaneously abort (miscarry). That's WAY more than the ones terminated by people on purpose.
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The Principle of Least Interest: He who cares least about a relationship, controls it.
When I found out I was pregnant with my third I was already almost six months along. Yes, it happened. I had been taking a lot of prescription drugs. Also, at about three months along I had a minor incident involving my ankle. They x-ray'ed it and I got a tetanus shot, antibiotics, and pain pills to go along with the stitches. I honestly don't remember three days of my life. And I didn't know I was pregnant at the time. So when I found out I was pregnant it was hard to find a doctor. No one wanted to take me. They all wanted me to abort. I purposely looked for a pro life doctor because I had no intentions of aborting.
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“You may shoot me with your words, you may cut me with your eyes, you may kill me with your hatefulness, but still, like air, I'll rise!” ― Maya Angelou
Absolutely. Know how many murders we've had in the past 5 years? 1. A moral society is a safe society. And killing babies is not moral.
It keeps coming back to the question, When does a fetus become a baby?
One group says "at the moment when sperm meets ovum";
One group says "when it takes its' first breath".
And some people have chosen some point in between.
It's a baby the second it is conceived.
So you should complain about the way God treats babies, because 25% of fertilized eggs spontaneously abort (miscarry). That's WAY more than the ones terminated by people on purpose.
God's ways are not to be understood by us.
And if you can not understand the difference between a miscarriage and an abortion you have nothing more to add to the conversation.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
Absolutely. Know how many murders we've had in the past 5 years? 1. A moral society is a safe society. And killing babies is not moral.
It keeps coming back to the question, When does a fetus become a baby?
One group says "at the moment when sperm meets ovum";
One group says "when it takes its' first breath".
And some people have chosen some point in between.
It's a baby the second it is conceived.
So you should complain about the way God treats babies, because 25% of fertilized eggs spontaneously abort (miscarry). That's WAY more than the ones terminated by people on purpose.
God's ways are not to be understood by us.
And if you can not understand the difference between a miscarriage and an abortion you have nothing more to add to the conversation.
When I was growing up I knew some adults who claimed that "If God had meant people to fly, He'd have given us wings," meaning that airplanes were the work of the Devil.
The alternative is that God gave Man the ability to use tools, and the ability to invent airplanes.
You might say that God didn't give Man methods to abort babies, that it's the work of the Devil ... but how do you know?
If a fetus is given a Soul at the moment of conception, what happens to the 25% that God kills before birth?
Sorry, I think The Big Bang and Evolution do NOT conflict with Genesis, and I think God gave us the ability to make and use tools.
And if Souls go somewhere at death, I'd like to understand what happens with the souls of those that are assigned at conception to the babies who spontaneously terminate.
Yes, it's likely that your understanding of God, and my understanding of God, are not the same.
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The Principle of Least Interest: He who cares least about a relationship, controls it.
But the Ten Commandments clearly says Thou Shalt Not Kill.
And yes. I do support the death penalty.
Because the Bible says life for a life.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
Believe what? That a baby is a baby and when you kill it you kill it? Yeah and I'm the bully not killing babies or thinking it's the right thing to do. You make me laugh...
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“Until I discovered cooking, I was never really interested in anything.” ― Julia Child ―