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ed11563


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uncaring, non-responsive dad
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DEAR AMY: Our young neighbor boy defecated on public property about three inches from our yard. I think he just got caught up in playing. I immediately walked over to his house and told his dad. His mother, who is my good friend, was not home. Dad was watching a football game with friends but I still expected a prompt response. Unfortunately, 45 minutes later he had not cleaned it up and his children continued to play in the area. I sent a text to both the father and mother letting them know that kids were there. Within a few minutes the mother rushed over and was cleaning it up apologetically. She said she hadn't been home earlier because she had been at the ER with her mother. Amy, I am so disturbed first that the father didn't respond immediately to clean up his son's mess, but even more so that he allowed his wife to come deal with it while he watched football! As a friend and neighbor, should I say something to the husband about his lack of response and treatment of his wife? He is a bit of a bully anyway and I'm not interested in a fight, but both the un-neighborliness of his response and the unjust treatment of his wife are appalling to me.

Upset Neighbor

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DEAR UPSET: If you do speak to your male neighbor about his disrespectful inattention, what outcome would you hope for? Do you imagine he would smack his head in recognition and say, "I get it now -- I'm an inattentive boor!" All the same, because this incident involved you directly, you certainly have the right to say, "I want you to know that I don't appreciate that you didn't respond when I told you about your son's accident." Your friend already knows what she's dealing with. Be her supportive friend. Unless she asks you directly for feedback, it might be best if you simply understand that you did the right thing in this situation -- even if her husband did not.



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karl271


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I thought everyone knew football took precedence over everything!!

Being sarcastic.



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cadiver


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I would take the woman's word that she was out at the time. I am sure the husband let her know when she arrived home of the problem. Why the wife did not handle it immediately and had to wait for the neighbor to text her, I don't know. The wife owes the lady an apology for taking so long to get over there.

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Poop happens. He didnt view it as something that needed his immediate attenrion. Or he's just an ass and she is stuck with him.

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Ohfour


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cadiver wrote:

I would take the woman's word that she was out at the time. I am sure the husband let her know when she arrived home of the problem. Why the wife did not handle it immediately and had to wait for the neighbor to text her, I don't know. The wife owes the lady an apology for taking so long to get over there.

 Really?  What world do you live in?  LOL!  G forgets to tell me stuff all the time.  Especially if he's distracted while being given the information.

(Oh, I didn't tell you I would be on the road the next 4 weekends?  I could have sworn I mentioned it.)



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Nobody Just Nobody


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Good lord the mother had just returned home from the ER.

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just Czech


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Good grief, it's poo! I bet her dog defecates in her own yard and this kid did not dump a load on HER property.

I bet the kid is all of 4 years old too.

Get a grip ya old bitty.

To a man, poo would not be a big deal. Leave him alone. It was probably his only day off work as well.

And why does he have to inform his wife of a neighbors complaint of poo in his yard?

There really are to many nosy nellies in this world..

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I don't think this would even register in my world.



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Ohfour


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I would have laughed.

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Yeah doesnt seem like a 911 emergency.

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Southern_Belle


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Ohfour wrote:

I would have laughed.

 Yep!



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I guess my first thought would have been to ask the mom how her mom was doing.

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Ohfour


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Hell, the kids are outside playing! Better than playing video games in the house! Its a turd. Get over it...

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Lmao!!!!

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Nobody Just Nobody


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Call a policeman for a smack down!

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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That's worthy of a Police beatdown!

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Nobody Just Nobody


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Finally something we can agree on!

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huskerbb


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First of all--if it was three inches FROM the LW's yard--then it wasn't on her property. If the dog craps in your own yard, it's not a problem. Same with a kid.

Second, she's making an awful lot of assumptions. She is assuming he doesn't care. If he had guests over and it was a tense part of the game--it probably wasn't that high on his list of priorities. Sure, he COULD be a jerk and let his wife handle all this stuff--but that isn't really the LW's business, anyway. She sounds like a nosy busy-body.

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Lindley


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The dad most likely never told his wife. He most likely never gave it another thought when the neighbor left.

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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"" Amy, I am so disturbed first that the father didn't respond immediately to clean up his son's mess, but even more so that he allowed his wife to come deal with it while he watched football! As a friend and neighbor, should I say something to the husband about his lack of response and treatment of his wife? He is a bit of a bully anyway and I'm not interested in a fight, but both the un-neighborliness of his response and the unjust treatment of his wife are appalling to me.""

Ok, because he didn't Jump when she said jump. He is now unresponsive, bully, unneighborly and treats his wife unjustly. Thank goodness he "allowed" her to come over and clean up the turd. lol

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Unfortunately, I do know people like this. They take ever incident, event and interaction and project a whole of meaning onto it whether it is accurate or not.

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Lawyerlady


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cadiver wrote:

I would take the woman's word that she was out at the time. I am sure the husband let her know when she arrived home of the problem. Why the wife did not handle it immediately and had to wait for the neighbor to text her, I don't know. The wife owes the lady an apology for taking so long to get over there.

 Ummm, the lady is not the problem.  Why didn't the HUSBAND handle it.  What the HELL kind of caveman mentality is this?



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huskerbb


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Lawyerlady wrote:
cadiver wrote:

I would take the woman's word that she was out at the time. I am sure the husband let her know when she arrived home of the problem. Why the wife did not handle it immediately and had to wait for the neighbor to text her, I don't know. The wife owes the lady an apology for taking so long to get over there.

 Ummm, the lady is not the problem.  Why didn't the HUSBAND handle it.  What the HELL kind of caveman mentality is this?

We don't know--but, really, handle what?  The p00p was on his yard, not his neighbor's.   Again, if the dog craps on your yard, your neighbor can b!tch all they want but it's too damn bad.   



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Lady Gaga Snerd


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How does she know it was the kid? Did she watch him poop?

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Lawyerlady


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huskerbb wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
cadiver wrote:

I would take the woman's word that she was out at the time. I am sure the husband let her know when she arrived home of the problem. Why the wife did not handle it immediately and had to wait for the neighbor to text her, I don't know. The wife owes the lady an apology for taking so long to get over there.

 Ummm, the lady is not the problem.  Why didn't the HUSBAND handle it.  What the HELL kind of caveman mentality is this?

We don't know--but, really, handle what?  The p00p was on his yard, not his neighbor's.   Again, if the dog craps on your yard, your neighbor can b!tch all they want but it's too damn bad.   

 What I'm taking exception to is that it is somehow only the wife's responsiblity and not his.



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Lady Gaga Snerd


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It is only her responsibility if she cares about it. Maybe he didn't care or think it was important?

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Lawyerlady wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
cadiver wrote:

I would take the woman's word that she was out at the time. I am sure the husband let her know when she arrived home of the problem. Why the wife did not handle it immediately and had to wait for the neighbor to text her, I don't know. The wife owes the lady an apology for taking so long to get over there.

 Ummm, the lady is not the problem.  Why didn't the HUSBAND handle it.  What the HELL kind of caveman mentality is this?

We don't know--but, really, handle what?  The p00p was on his yard, not his neighbor's.   Again, if the dog craps on your yard, your neighbor can b!tch all they want but it's too damn bad.   

 What I'm taking exception to is that it is somehow only the wife's responsiblity and not his.

 Did ANYONE read the part about the wife not being home at the time it actually happened?  Read the OP!  SHE WAS IN THE ER WITH HER MOM!  OMG!  Are you supposed to leave your sick mom to come home and clean up poo?  The husband should have handled it.  He did not.  It sounds like the wife handled it when she got home.

I agree with you LL.



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Lady Gaga Snerd


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She decided that this was something that needed "handled". WHo said it needed "handled"? Poop in the grass, not the end of the world.


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huskerbb


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Lawyerlady wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
cadiver wrote:

I would take the woman's word that she was out at the time. I am sure the husband let her know when she arrived home of the problem. Why the wife did not handle it immediately and had to wait for the neighbor to text her, I don't know. The wife owes the lady an apology for taking so long to get over there.

 Ummm, the lady is not the problem.  Why didn't the HUSBAND handle it.  What the HELL kind of caveman mentality is this?

We don't know--but, really, handle what?  The p00p was on his yard, not his neighbor's.   Again, if the dog craps on your yard, your neighbor can b!tch all they want but it's too damn bad.   

 What I'm taking exception to is that it is somehow only the wife's responsiblity and not his.

 Never said it was.  It's not really either of their responsibility to jump just because their neighbor wants them to.  



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cadiver


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Lawyerlady wrote:
cadiver wrote:

I would take the woman's word that she was out at the time. I am sure the husband let her know when she arrived home of the problem. Why the wife did not handle it immediately and had to wait for the neighbor to text her, I don't know. The wife owes the lady an apology for taking so long to get over there.

 Ummm, the lady is not the problem.  Why didn't the HUSBAND handle it.  What the HELL kind of caveman mentality is this?

 I was just joking.



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Lawyerlady


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cadiver wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
cadiver wrote:

I would take the woman's word that she was out at the time. I am sure the husband let her know when she arrived home of the problem. Why the wife did not handle it immediately and had to wait for the neighbor to text her, I don't know. The wife owes the lady an apology for taking so long to get over there.

 Ummm, the lady is not the problem.  Why didn't the HUSBAND handle it.  What the HELL kind of caveman mentality is this?

 I was just joking.

 Thank heavens.



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flan327


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Lawyerlady wrote:
cadiver wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
cadiver wrote:

I would take the woman's word that she was out at the time. I am sure the husband let her know when she arrived home of the problem. Why the wife did not handle it immediately and had to wait for the neighbor to text her, I don't know. The wife owes the lady an apology for taking so long to get over there.

 Ummm, the lady is not the problem.  Why didn't the HUSBAND handle it.  What the HELL kind of caveman mentality is this?

 I was just joking.

 Thank heavens.

 For once, I got the joke!

flan



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It wasn't even her yard? I would have told her to not worry about my yard and I won't worry about hers. Geesh. People need to stay in their own lane.

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ed11563


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Mary Zombie wrote:

It wasn't even her yard? I would have told her to not worry about my yard and I won't worry about hers. Geesh. People need to stay in their own lane.

  on public property about three inches from our yard



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Fort Worth Mom


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Okay, we have pooper scooper laws, for dogs and cats, in our city.

Shouldn't they apply to humans, as well?

If your child drops a load, for goodness sake, clean it up....ASAP!

JMHO!



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