TOTALLY GEEKED!

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

RE: Dear Abby: Grandma Teaching My Kids Christian Songs.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Well, then, I guess she can cut off her parents and never let them see the grandparents b/c she disagrees with their religion. But she also says she intends to let her kids learn about ALL religions - so does she mean all except Christianity?

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lawyerlady wrote:
Well, then, I guess she can cut off her parents and never let them see the grandparents b/c she disagrees with their religion. But she also says she intends to let her kids learn about ALL religions - so does she mean all except Christianity?

You know what the OP said. The parents want to do it in their own way.

flan

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

There is a point of respect from both sides. You cannot micromanage everything the grandparents do. And, there are things you need to allow whether you particularly like it or not. On the other hand, if mom and dad are very insistent about something in particular and you choose to disregard that, then you are not being very respectful either. If you want to have a good relationship it has to be a 2 way street.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

flan327 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Well, then, I guess she can cut off her parents and never let them see the grandparents b/c she disagrees with their religion. But she also says she intends to let her kids learn about ALL religions - so does she mean all except Christianity?
You know what the OP said. The parents want to do it in their own way.
flan

And why not? Why should the daughter get to dictate how they practice their religion and how the grandparents see it? Furthermore, she was raised in that home and had the freedom to become Buddhist - so what exactly is the problem?

Oh, I know. She wants to teach her kids about religion, but couch it in terms like "And this is what the Christians think, but we don't believe that." Well, her parents do, and she needs to respect that.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I think when you are in someone else's home, they get to do whatever they want.

If you don't want your kid doing something that they do in their home, don't have your kid there.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

So, in order to practice their religion they need to teach songs to their grandchild?

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
There is a point of respect from both sides. You cannot micromanage everything the grandparents do. And, there are things you need to allow whether you particularly like it or not. On the other hand, if mom and dad are very insistent about something in particular and you choose to disregard that, then you are not being very respectful either. If you want to have a good relationship it has to be a 2 way street.

I think, in some ways, you have to experience being a grandparent to understand the dynamic.

The only thing that might upset me is if DS2 started spanking Itty bitty. I'd have to think long & hard about that.

flan

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
I think when you are in someone else's home, they get to do whatever they want.

If you don't want your kid doing something that they do in their home, don't have your kid there.

Well, that is true too. And , probably grandma is doing a lot of free babysitting, so ya might want to think twice! biggrin

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

flan327 wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
There is a point of respect from both sides. You cannot micromanage everything the grandparents do. And, there are things you need to allow whether you particularly like it or not. On the other hand, if mom and dad are very insistent about something in particular and you choose to disregard that, then you are not being very respectful either. If you want to have a good relationship it has to be a 2 way street.
I think, in some ways, you have to experience being a grandparent to understand the dynamic.
The only thing that might upset me is if DS2 started spanking Itty bitty. I'd have to think long & hard about that.
flan

Think long and hard about what? If they want to spank their kid, that is up to them.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
So, in order to practice their religion they need to teach songs to their grandchild?

That was my thought too!

Wouldn't they be taking her to Church or reading her Bible stories?

flan

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

She's 2. How many songs could they have taught her? Probably "Jesus loves me" song.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
There is a point of respect from both sides. You cannot micromanage everything the grandparents do. And, there are things you need to allow whether you particularly like it or not. On the other hand, if mom and dad are very insistent about something in particular and you choose to disregard that, then you are not being very respectful either. If you want to have a good relationship it has to be a 2 way street.
I think, in some ways, you have to experience being a grandparent to understand the dynamic.
The only thing that might upset me is if DS2 started spanking Itty bitty. I'd have to think long & hard about that.
flan
Think long and hard about what? If they want to spank their kid, that is up to them.

Yes, I know, but I was giving an example from a grandparent's point of view.

flan

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
She's 2. How many songs could they have taught her? Probably "Jesus loves me" song.

I hate that song SO much! LOL

flan

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Yes, but if they do, what would that have to do with you? You arent' going to stop them. Unless they are asking you to spank the child, then it is your business.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Yes, but if they do, what would that have to do with you? You arent' going to stop them. Unless they are asking you to spank the child, then it is your business.

I could certainly chose to have a conversation with my son.

flan

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

LGS,

Haven't you learned that everything is my business?

flan

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

LOL, so true! But, yeah, have a conversation but do you really think everyone will come to your way of thinking?

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
LOL, so true! But, yeah, have a conversation but do you really think everyone will come to your way of thinking?

No, but that doesn't mean I can't try.

flan

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

flan327 wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Yes, but if they do, what would that have to do with you? You arent' going to stop them. Unless they are asking you to spank the child, then it is your business.
I could certainly chose to have a conversation with my son.
flan

Not sure how that would do anything.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
So, in order to practice their religion they need to teach songs to their grandchild?

I don't know about you, but my radio is set to a Christian station most of the time. We spend most of Sunday at church, and some Wednesday evenings. My kids are singing songs about Jesus all the time. That's part of our LIFE - it is done without even thinking.

FNW · Guru

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
She's 2. How many songs could they have taught her? Probably "Jesus loves me" song.

This Little Light of Mine?

We didn't really start teaching them about God and Jesus until they were about 4. DH has read the Children's Bible to them, and they are studying it now in CCD. They know that there are those who do not believe, but they also know the Bible as law and a recording of history. Currently they are learning the 10 Commandments, especially #4 (Catholic), a favorite of mine. One I remind them of when they get out of line.

huskerbb · Guru

flan327 wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
There is a point of respect from both sides. You cannot micromanage everything the grandparents do. And, there are things you need to allow whether you particularly like it or not. On the other hand, if mom and dad are very insistent about something in particular and you choose to disregard that, then you are not being very respectful either. If you want to have a good relationship it has to be a 2 way street.
I think, in some ways, you have to experience being a grandparent to understand the dynamic.
The only thing that might upset me is if DS2 started spanking Itty bitty. I'd have to think long & hard about that.
flan

I now have that experience.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

huskerbb wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
There is a point of respect from both sides. You cannot micromanage everything the grandparents do. And, there are things you need to allow whether you particularly like it or not. On the other hand, if mom and dad are very insistent about something in particular and you choose to disregard that, then you are not being very respectful either. If you want to have a good relationship it has to be a 2 way street.
I think, in some ways, you have to experience being a grandparent to understand the dynamic.
The only thing that might upset me is if DS2 started spanking Itty bitty. I'd have to think long & hard about that.
flan
I now have that experience.

Yes, husker, you do. I wish they lived closer.

flan

WYSIWYG · Guru

Because THEY as the PARENTS want to teach her.

There are some people on this board that have said that, despite being Christian, they would not WANT the bus driver praying with their kids or the gym teacher teaching them songs. This is no different.

Mom and dad need to respect the way their daughter wants to parent.
- Dona Worry Be Happy

_____________________________

I think you misunderstand my agreement with Lawyerlady.

The grandparents aren't teaching the grandchild about religion. They are teaching her a few songs. At some point the letter writer says they are going to teach about all the religions anyway. Teaching a few songs isn't like they are brainwashing the grandchild. The Hallelujah Chorus is a beautiful song, but I'd bet that not every singer in every choral group that sings it is Christian, including school choirs.

Also, if they weren't planning on teaching the major religions, then I would agree that the grandparents should butt-out. I just don't see the big deal over a few songs about a subject that will be taught anyway.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Because THEY as the PARENTS want to teach her.

There are some people on this board that have said that, despite being Christian, they would not WANT the bus driver praying with their kids or the gym teacher teaching them songs. This is no different.

Mom and dad need to respect the way their daughter wants to parent.
- Dona Worry Be Happy

Actually it is quite a bit different. Grandparents may take liberties with your children that a gym teacher or bus driver can't. Completely different relationship.