TOTALLY GEEKED!

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Dear Miss Manners: Must I Celebrate Nieces Birthdays at Thanksgiving Dinner?

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I don't see what the big deal is.

So you sing happy birthday and have cupcakes for them.

I think LW is a self centered old bitty.

FNW · Guru

My aunt used to have a birthday cake for her son (my cousin) on Thanksgiving. Fine, but my birthday was the same day as his, and I always felt ignored.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Eh, make a little carrot cake or something else festive and put their names on it and sing. This is not a hill to die on.

Tangerine · Guru

FNW wrote:
My aunt used to have a birthday cake for her son (my cousin) on Thanksgiving. Fine, but my birthday was the same day as his, and I always felt ignored.

That sucks. I don't understand why the LW is so reluctant to have happy birthday sung at Thanksgiving.

I can't imagine celebrating one child's birthday and not the other's. That's just mean.

Domestic Engineer · Guru

I want to know what BIL means by a "small moment". Having a small birthday cake and singing happy birthday is ok. Having a birthday party and expecting gifts for 2 girls is not ok. BIL should not expect host to bake a special cake either. His daughters, his responsibility.

Yes, I'm a an old bitty. I became this way after being used one time too many.

-- Edited by Domestic Engineer on Sunday 15th of November 2015 02:10:24 PM

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Instead of pumpkin pie for dessert have birthday cake. Make it a new tradition.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Domestic Engineer wrote:
I want to know what BIL means by a "small moment". Having a small birthday cake and singing happy birthday is ok. Having a birthday party and expecting gifts for 2 girls is not ok. BIL should not expect host to bake a special cake either. His daughters, his responsibility.
Yes, I'm a an old bitty. I became this way after being used one time too many.

-- Edited by Domestic Engineer on Sunday 15th of November 2015 02:10:24 PM

I almost always do a non traditional dessert on Thanksgiving in addition to the regular stuff. I could easily throw together a cake. And sing. I keep candles on hand. Now if he wants a big to do with a professional cake and presents that's not really the right time.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Wait - is their birthday actually on Thanksgiving, or were they born on Thanksgiving? I think that matters. I mean, if their birthday is November 1st, then it is kind of an odd request.

Unless, of course, they live far away and never get to see the girls on their birthday, then it would be nice for family to take advantage of the time together and not be resentful of it.

But, either way, if she says no, she'll look mean.

Divine Geek · Guru

Anyone else catch the LW say "my brother-in-law's daughters'" and "their kids". Seems LW isn't a fan of the kids to begin with.

FNW · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
Wait - is their birthday actually on Thanksgiving, or were they born on Thanksgiving? I think that matters. I mean, if their birthday is November 1st, then it is kind of an odd request.

Unless, of course, they live far away and never get to see the girls on their birthday, then it would be nice for family to take advantage of the time together and not be resentful of it.

But, either way, if she says no, she'll look mean.

For us, the closest our birthdays came to T-day was within 2 days of T-day.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I don't see what the big deal is.

I planned and hosted a smaller family reunion a few years back. Without any thought to it, my aunt showed up with a big professional cake and proceeded to set up a special table. She used the chance to announce her daughter's engagement.

Now, I could have been offended. But why? It was related to the family. The whole family was there. It became part of the celebration of family.

It's Thanksgiving, be thankful your family is there celebrating family with you.

Too many people have stickbuttitius these days.

FNW · Guru

We never said anything to my aunt for celebrating my cousin's birthday, but my parents would add my name when singing happy birthday...happy birthday t AND K, happy birthday to them! LOL I still chose the pumpkin pie over the cake. But even now when my DH or parents ask what kind of cake I want, I say pumpkin pie.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

I think the whole thing is stupid. On both sides.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Well. Stupid is as stupid does.

huskerbb · Guru

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
I think the whole thing is stupid. On both sides.

I don't see why the request is stupid. It's a convenient time since all the relatives will be together.

Otherwise, we'll be getting letters like this:

Dear Miss Manners;

One of my siblings lives about 90 minutes away. His daughters have a birthday the week before Thanksgiving--for which we would get together at another sibling's home. They have sent out invitations for us all to come celebrate this birthday just a few days before we'd all be getting together, anyway. I don't see why we can't just do it on Thanksgiving.

Signed:

Relatived-out

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

If the birthday is not on Thanksgiving or within a day or two it does seem odd.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

huskerbb wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
I think the whole thing is stupid. On both sides.
I don't see why the request is stupid.  It's a convenient time since all the relatives will be together.

Otherwise, we'll be getting letters like this:

Dear Miss Manners;

One of my siblings lives about 90 minutes away. His daughters have a birthday the week before Thanksgiving--for which we would get together at another sibling's home.  They have sent out invitations for us all to come celebrate this birthday just a few days before we'd all be getting together, anyway. I don't see why we can't just do it on Thanksgiving.

Signed:
Relatived-out

Well to be fair I would need more information. LL was correct. How far do they live apart? If they live a long way apart it seems like a decent thing to do to save everyone time and trouble. And what is the father expecting? Is he expecting a long drawn out birthday affair after everyone eats or just a simple cake? I think the aunt or whoever is being silly too. Just get a small cake. Make a small cake. I guess I'd want more info in order to say.

huskerbb · Guru

Even the LW describes what is wanted as a "small" birthday moment--and she is the one who is complaining about it and the most likely to blow a cupcake with a candle into a bash at Chuck e. cheese followed by pony rides.