TOTALLY GEEKED!

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

7 yr old girl who was reported missing during high school football game and was found dead 20 minutes later

NAOW · Vette's SS

How sad.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

That is horrible. But, also, a warning to parents. And, btw, Husker, I am sure they didn't think it could happen in their little town at their local football game . Parents have to take heed. It isn't the same world nowadays.

FNW · Guru

Absolutely take heed.

Very sad.

huskerbb · Guru

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
That is horrible. But, also, a warning to parents. And, btw, Husker, I am sure they didn't think it could happen in their little town at their local football game . Parents have to take heed. It isn't the same world nowadays.

Bad things can and do happen--but that doesn't mean they are common. The solution isnt to hold your child's hand until they go off to college. Heck, college girls go missing and are killed, too.

By by far the most common kidnap victims are teenage females--yet most parents wouldn't think much of letting a 15 year old girl attend a footbal game by themselves.

im not sure wha you want parents to even "take heed" of here. That there are some bad people in the world? Duh.

also, this victim likely knew her killer. The killer might have even been trusted by the parents. This may not be a caSE of a stranger abduction, at all.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

They have a rested a good friend of the family. A lifelong friend of her father, who has 5 children himself, was at the game with her. How awful.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3328060/I-blood-clothes-brushed-against-fence-Married-father-five-arrested-raping-murdering-sodomizing-seven-year-old-girl-insists-innocent-police-claim-evidence-connects-attack.html

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

I cannot even comprehend the horror of this situation. What people will do to children just horrifies me. That poor, poor child. What she went through before she died...sick people like this should be killed slowly and painfully.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Yes. And, how brazen is evil that he would do this to this beautiful child, knowing her, knowing her family for years and just barely out of site of hundreds of people in broad daylight?

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

Much more likely that a child will be murdered by someone they know than by a stranger. Nothing has changed in that regard. In fact, last time I heard, it was less likely to happen than in previous decades.

This is one time I agree with husker. This is a tragic terrible story. But it is not a caution to all parents to change what they do. Your child isn't any more likely to die in this way than they were in the 70's. And it's almost never a stranger who does these things.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

Lawyerlady wrote:
I cannot even comprehend the horror of this situation. What people will do to children just horrifies me. That poor, poor child. What she went through before she died...sick people like this should be killed slowly and painfully.

Agreed. And he likely watched this little girl grow up...disgusting.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Mellow Momma wrote:
Much more likely that a child will be murdered by someone they know than by a stranger. Nothing has changed in that regard. In fact, last time I heard, it was less likely to happen than in previous decades.

This is one time I agree with husker. This is a tragic terrible story. But it is not a caution to all parents to change what they do. Your child isn't any more likely to die in this way than they were in the 70's. And it's almost never a stranger who does these things.

I disagree with husker that being a family friend somehow means we dont' have to be cautious. Even MORE so. Evil is in your midst. I am sure this was an all American family thinking they were insulated from evil as husker seems to think. Nobody is. And, to say there is no more of this than in the 70's, i don't believe it.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

www.dallasnews.com/opinion/sunday-commentary/20100326-Joe-Keohane-The-crime-wave-762.ece

Crime is down. Our perception of crime is heightened.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

In crimes of bygone years, yes there were murders. But, now the murders are taken to a whole new level of visciousness. Dismembering a body used to be seen as positively shocking. Not saying it didn't happen in the past but now it is positively mundane.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Those stats from the 90's to now.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

www.salon.com/2009/05/04/free_range_kids/

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

It's more dangerous to put your kid in the car than it is to let them walk to school alone.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

www.disastercenter.com/crime/uscrime.htm

Here are some stats.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

www.bbc.com/news/education-30578830

The headline is "childhood now safer than on the 70's"

I can't find one article saying it's more dangerous now. But I can find a ton saying it is safer and the murder rate is lower, we just hear about it more.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Mellow Momma wrote:
It's more dangerous to put your kid in the car than it is to let them walk to school alone.

OK so what? Does that mean you just choose to ignore other potential dangers?

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

That is the number of crimes. What about the crime rate? Crimes per capita. It's lower.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Mellow Momma wrote:
It's more dangerous to put your kid in the car than it is to let them walk to school alone.
OK so what? Does that mean you just choose to ignore other potential dangers?

Of course not. But the other dangers aren't nearly as likely to happen as most people think. They are darn UNLIKELY to happen actually.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Yes. And, it was darn UNLIKELY to happen to little Gabbi, then it did.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Yes. And, it was darn UNLIKELY to happen to little Gabbi, then it did.

But her story isn't a cautionary tale to keep your eyes on your kid every second. It's a sad tragic story. That's all. Not a warning to all parents.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Mellow Momma wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Yes. And, it was darn UNLIKELY to happen to little Gabbi, then it did.
But her story isn't a cautionary tale to keep your eyes on your kid every second. It's a sad tragic story. That's all. Not a warning to all parents.

It is a warning. It's a warning that a pedophillic killer may be in your midst. May even be your best friend.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Stats don't matter much when it is your child. I guess we should send mom and dad a card and say Take Heart, statistics show this is unlikely to happen.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

I never said this wasn't a tragedy. I said it was a terrible, sad, tragic event. But it is not likely to happen to you so it's ridiculous to allow this event to change the way you parent your children. The most likely thing to harm your child is a ride in the family car - yet we put our kids in the car every day without a second thought. We don't let stories about car crashes stop us in our tracks and paralyze our thinking the way we do these types of tragedies. We take a second to make sure we are buckled up and we move on - even though it's much more likely to happen to us.

When awful things like the OP happen, we allow it to paralyze our thinking and our parenting. We need to recognize these events for what they are and grieve for the victim. That's all.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

I do agree with you that there was really nothing the parents could have done to prevent this. He was a trusted family friend of decades. He was married with his own kids. Certainly not some lone wolf drifter or anything like that. And, i do appreiciate what you are saying about actual risk. And, yes, we have to keep living life. We have to keep living our lives in spite of these terrible events. All that we can do is to be reasonably cautious and hope and pray for the best.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

Two children a day die of poisoning and three children a day die of drowning. Why aren't we hearing about that on the news? It should be all over the headlines and in all the news stories. That's 5 kids a day!! Those deaths are not scary and don't sell ads so we don't hear about them. Stranger danger puts eyes on the tv and gets people glued to their seats waiting to see what happens. We hear about it much more because it sells. Sad but true.

Yet I don't ever hear about anyone calling for a nationwide pool ban to keep kids safe. And I don't hear about anyone suggesting we mandate all poisonous material be kept out of homes with kids. No call to arms. No "cautionary stories". No one here is worried about their kids or grandkids being exposed to those things - but they are terrified of stranger danger.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

This crime is so brazen that it is really disturbing beyond words. However, that is how criminals operate. They always have the element of surprise and when they offend, they do it in a blitz attack that it is over and done before anyone even knows. That is part of the problem with defending ourselves against crime. It is usually a full on assualt before someone has time to react and then it's over and the damage is done.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Mellow Momma wrote:
Two children a day die of poisoning and three children a day die of drowning. Why aren't we hearing about that on the news? It should be all over the headlines and in all the news stories. That's 5 kids a day!! Those deaths are not scary and don't sell ads so we don't hear about them. Stranger danger puts eyes on the tv and gets people glued to their seats waiting to see what happens. We hear about it much more because it sells. Sad but true.

Yet I don't ever hear about anyone calling for a nationwide pool ban to keep kids safe. And I don't hear about anyone suggesting we mandate all poisonous material be kept out of homes with kids. No call to arms. No "cautionary stories". No one here is worried about their kids or grandkids being exposed to those things - but they are terrified of stranger danger.

Those are good points. I am always shocked to meet people who don't know how to swim in life. I think every kid should certainly be taught to swim as well. We used to hear of poisoning and the Mr Yuck stickers, etc but you are right, we rarely do now.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Mellow Momma wrote:
Two children a day die of poisoning and three children a day die of drowning. Why aren't we hearing about that on the news? It should be all over the headlines and in all the news stories. That's 5 kids a day!! Those deaths are not scary and don't sell ads so we don't hear about them. Stranger danger puts eyes on the tv and gets people glued to their seats waiting to see what happens. We hear about it much more because it sells. Sad but true.

Yet I don't ever hear about anyone calling for a nationwide pool ban to keep kids safe. And I don't hear about anyone suggesting we mandate all poisonous material be kept out of homes with kids. No call to arms. No "cautionary stories". No one here is worried about their kids or grandkids being exposed to those things - but they are terrified of stranger danger.
Those are good points. I am always shocked to meet people who don't know how to swim in life. I think every kid should certainly be taught to swim as well. We used to hear of poisoning and the Mr Yuck stickers, etc but you are right, we rarely do now.

Swimming is a socio-economic issue. Kids with money and who have parents with time for lessons learn to swim. Kids without access to a pool and lessons don't learn. It's sad.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Mellow Momma wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Mellow Momma wrote:
Two children a day die of poisoning and three children a day die of drowning. Why aren't we hearing about that on the news? It should be all over the headlines and in all the news stories. That's 5 kids a day!! Those deaths are not scary and don't sell ads so we don't hear about them. Stranger danger puts eyes on the tv and gets people glued to their seats waiting to see what happens. We hear about it much more because it sells. Sad but true.

Yet I don't ever hear about anyone calling for a nationwide pool ban to keep kids safe. And I don't hear about anyone suggesting we mandate all poisonous material be kept out of homes with kids. No call to arms. No "cautionary stories". No one here is worried about their kids or grandkids being exposed to those things - but they are terrified of stranger danger.
Those are good points. I am always shocked to meet people who don't know how to swim in life. I think every kid should certainly be taught to swim as well. We used to hear of poisoning and the Mr Yuck stickers, etc but you are right, we rarely do now.
Swimming is a socio-economic issue. Kids with money and who have parents with time for lessons learn to swim. Kids without access to a pool and lessons don't learn. It's sad.

Yes and no. We learned to swim in the creek and ponds. No cost involved.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

But, back in the day, we had many unsupervised times in the creeks and ponds.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

I don't know anyone who had access to a creek or pond that was deep enough to swim in. Most were ankle deep, knee deep at most. Where I grew up, there just wasn't anywhere for a kid to do that except a pool. And you either had to belong to the pool or have a friend who had a pool.

ed11563 · Guru

The guy hasn't been convicted yet.

The girl was raped, there would be DNA the killer left behind. Was it his? DNA takes some time. If it's NOT his, he will be released.

There was blood on his clothing ... was it hers? If not, that goes away.

If it IS hers, no one is going to believe his story that it got on his clothes when he brushed up against something. And, How much blood, in what kind of pattern?

Haven't we all been watching CSI and spinoffs?

huskerbb · Guru

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
They have a rested a good friend of the family. A lifelong friend of her father, who has 5 children himself, was at the game with her. How awful.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3328060/I-blood-clothes-brushed-against-fence-Married-father-five-arrested-raping-murdering-sodomizing-seven-year-old-girl-insists-innocent-police-claim-evidence-connects-attack.html

That's what it often is. "Stranger Danger" is largely a myth. Not saying it never happens that a stranger does this--but it's not nearly as common as someone they know.

Heck, if this guy had ASKED to take this girl to get a soda, they probably would have let him take her.

huskerbb · Guru

923441_10152234182735850_1054180195_n.jpg?oh=70732acadc886ed3084ccb8328b20341&oe=56E23AFC

This applies here, as well.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

We need some happy stories.

flan

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

We swam in everything. Lakes, rivers, pools, ponds.

Everyone of my grandparents had some type of water something on their property.

Shoot, even the creek behind the church was waste deep in places.

Learning to swim didn't cost a thing so that's just out right snobbery to say poor kids don't learn cause they can't pay for lessons.

Swimming in a river is a whole lot different from swimming in a pool.

Fighting currents makes you a stronger swimmer.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

lilyofcourse wrote:
We swam in everything. Lakes, rivers, pools, ponds.

Everyone of my grandparents had some type of water something on their property.

Shoot, even the creek behind the church was waste deep in places.

Learning to swim didn't cost a thing so that's just out right snobbery to say poor kids don't learn cause they can't pay for lessons.

Swimming in a river is a whole lot different from swimming in a pool.

Fighting currents makes you a stronger swimmer.

It isn't snobbery - it's statistics. What pond exactly do you think exists in a housing project? How about the inner city? I grew up in a suburb and I didn't have access to a pond or a creek that was deep enough to swim in. Everyone in this country doesn't live in the same circumstances as you. The race most likely to die from drowning - African Americans. The reason? Lack of access to pools and swim lessons.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Mellow Momma wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
We swam in everything. Lakes, rivers, pools, ponds.

Everyone of my grandparents had some type of water something on their property.

Shoot, even the creek behind the church was waste deep in places.

Learning to swim didn't cost a thing so that's just out right snobbery to say poor kids don't learn cause they can't pay for lessons.

Swimming in a river is a whole lot different from swimming in a pool.

Fighting currents makes you a stronger swimmer.

It isn't snobbery - it's statistics. What pond exactly do you think exists in a housing project? How about the inner city? I grew up in a suburb and I didn't have access to a pond or a creek that was deep enough to swim in. Everyone in this country doesn't live in the same circumstances as you. The race most likely to die from drowning - African Americans. The reason? Lack of access to pools and swim lessons.

flan

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

huskerbb wrote:

This applies here, as well.

Ooops wrong thread. I think i meant to put this on the Unparented Child thread.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Mellow Momma wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
We swam in everything. Lakes, rivers, pools, ponds.

Everyone of my grandparents had some type of water something on their property.

Shoot, even the creek behind the church was waste deep in places.

Learning to swim didn't cost a thing so that's just out right snobbery to say poor kids don't learn cause they can't pay for lessons.

Swimming in a river is a whole lot different from swimming in a pool.

Fighting currents makes you a stronger swimmer.

It isn't snobbery - it's statistics. What pond exactly do you think exists in a housing project? How about the inner city? I grew up in a suburb and I didn't have access to a pond or a creek that was deep enough to swim in. Everyone in this country doesn't live in the same circumstances as you. The race most likely to die from drowning - African Americans. The reason? Lack of access to pools and swim lessons.

Yes but that's life. For those who grew up rural, they didn't have access to other things that cities do. A lot of cities have Y pools and community pools. DH grew up in the inner city of Pittsburgh. He didn't know how to swim. I literally made him take swimming lessons at the local Y after we got married.

huskerbb · Guru

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
huskerbb wrote:

This applies here, as well.
Ooops wrong thread. I think i meant to put this on the Unparented Child thread.

You did. I put it on here, too because it applies.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

The Y won't let you in off the street - you have to pay. Lots of people don't have the money for that. And every city that I have lived in has closed all the public pools. Too expensive to run and maintain. Cities can't afford the liability insurance let alone the maintenance.

But your DH is a perfect example of someone who didn't have access to a pool and so he didn't learn to swim. It isn't as simple as people make it out to be.