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Post Info TOPIC: Dear Miss Manners: In Laws Use Childhood Nickname
Lady Gaga Snerd


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RE: Dear Miss Manners: In Laws Use Childhood Nickname
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flan327 wrote:

I think a person has the right to be called the name they choose.

Maybe your name is Elizabeth & your older brother called you "Betsy Wetsy" as a child. As an adult, would you still expect to be called that?

flan

 Yeah i think a sibling or really close life long friend can still do that.  Obviously dont do that in front of their boss, Etc.



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flan327 wrote:
TrudyML wrote:

I call my sister her kid nick name. Her little ones die laughing. It's all in good fun.

 And that's the important thing.

If it's NOT all in good fun, then family should respect your wishes.

flan

 Exactly!



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Ohfour wrote:

Wouldn't care. Its a term of endearment.

 Well _____ peanut butter and jelly is not a term of endearment from my sis.  It was and still is an insult.  As was _____ fat belly.  Just saying.



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lilyofcourse


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I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
Ohfour wrote:

Wouldn't care. Its a term of endearment.

 Well _____ peanut butter and jelly is not a term of endearment from my sis.  It was and still is an insult.  As was _____ fat belly.  Just saying.

 But that's not even what the OP is saying.

Like I said, no one is talking about mean or derogatory names.

Just shortened versions of their on names. Or a form of it.

 



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just Czech


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My DH hates it when family add a y to his shortened first name. They wonder why he ignores them.

But, when you do the same to their name, they get all bent out of shape. Go figure.

I have never had a nickname. Well, not one I can print. ;)

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just Czech


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IMHO, people should be respectful, even family.

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flan327


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just Czech wrote:

IMHO, people should be respectful, even family.

 THANK YOU.

Names are important.

flan



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just Czech


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flan327 wrote:
just Czech wrote:

IMHO, people should be respectful, even family.

 THANK YOU.

Names are important.

flan

Yes, names are important. Especially to the "named" individual.

Our DD had "bwana" added to her name by staff at her care center. She complained, so I had to step in. It stopped AFTER I made a complaint. That is not right. Staff should always be respectful of clients with special needs. 



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just Czech


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There are also rude people who use a shortened first name against the individuals out of a mean spirit.

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flan327


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just Czech wrote:
flan327 wrote:
just Czech wrote:

IMHO, people should be respectful, even family.

 THANK YOU.

Names are important.

flan

Yes, names are important. Especially to the "named" individual.

Our DD had "bwana" added to her name by staff at her care center. She complained, so I had to step in. It stopped AFTER I made a complaint. That is not right. Staff should always be respectful of clients with special needs. 

 Not cool, Czech.

flan



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Bwana? What is that?

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Lawyerlady


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flan327 wrote:

I think a person has the right to be called the name they choose.

Maybe your name is Elizabeth & your older brother called you "Betsy Wetsy" as a child. As an adult, would you still expect to be called that?

flan

 Betsy Wetsy is different than calling her Betsy if that is what she actually went by for years. 



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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Lawyerlady wrote:
flan327 wrote:

I think a person has the right to be called the name they choose.

Maybe your name is Elizabeth & your older brother called you "Betsy Wetsy" as a child. As an adult, would you still expect to be called that?

flan

 Betsy Wetsy is different than calling her Betsy if that is what she actually went by for years. 

 Yes.  But, there are times when you tease one another playfully.  My daughter's nickname is "Sherbert Lemon".  Have NO CLUE why the boys called her that but somehow that came out when she was little and it must have really pissed her off, lol so it stuck.  So, every now and then we say Hey Sherbert Lemon.  My older son's knickname is "Ta Da" or "Yoder".  And, my younger son's is "Shooby".  One day when he was too, he told us that was his name so now we call him that as well.  Yeah, there are situations where you don't do that but there are times when it think it is fine.  Expecting some grandparents who have called her X for years to now change, what is the point?  Why not just embrace that they have a special name for you because you are special in their hearts?



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burns07


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Why not just embrace that they have a special name for you because you are special in their hearts?
____________________________________________________________________________

exactly--all four of my grandparents referred to me by a nickname my father gave me when i was a child--not offensive to me in the least--as a young man was given a nickname by my peers and has stayed with me ever since--in this business have been known by it for over twenty-five years--am still amazed how many people know me by my nickname who have no idea what my real name actually happens to be--having communicated principally by phone, text, email, etc.



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just Czech


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Dona Worry Be Happy wrote:

Bwana? What is that?

It's from a very old children's song. You add a letter to replace the first letter or two of their real name. For her, Bwana rhymes with her real first name and they would tag it on making her name rhythmic.

Rude, just rude. 



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lilyofcourse


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The banana fana bo Bana song?

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Fi fi mo mana

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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

Fi fi mo mana

 GAGA!



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lilyofcourse


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My dad use to wake me up with that song every Sunday morning.

He still sings it when addressing me sometimes.

I never thought to be offended by it.

All those years of thinking it was a sweet shared moment when all the time he was being mean.

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flan327


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lilyofcourse wrote:

My dad use to wake me up with that song every Sunday morning.

He still sings it when addressing me sometimes.

I never thought to be offended by it.

All those years of thinking it was a sweet shared moment when all the time he was being mean.

 Are you being deliberately obtuse?

flan



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flan327


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Dona Worry Be Happy wrote:

Bwana? What is that?

 I didn't have time to check yesterday. I have heard it before, but wanted to make sure I was right. It's a Swahili word meaning "Master," but obviously used in a mocking way.

flan



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just Czech


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flan327 wrote:
Dona Worry Be Happy wrote:

Bwana? What is that?

 I didn't have time to check yesterday. I have heard it before, but wanted to make sure I was right. It's a Swahili word meaning "Master," but obviously used in a mocking way.

flan

Exactly.

DD hates it. The employee always said it in that sing song tone to her, mocking her, since the employee knew DD didn't like it. 

The employee needed to grow the f up.



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