TOTALLY GEEKED!

msrock · Guru

RE: Plus One

just Czech · Give Me Grand's!

msrock wrote:
just Czech wrote:
I do not understand the whole concept of family being of less importance then some friends live-in.

It just seems so .... rude.

JMHO
I don't understand a lot of things. Especially being so smug.

You are just as smug.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Divine Geek wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Ooh the Divine Miss M. Gotta love her.
Ummm... I'm not talking about Better Middler.
I love her too.
Divine
For the record, my hair would never do that. There is not enough AquaNet in the world

But the make up.

I know that your "Monday power look".

msrock · Guru

just Czech wrote:
msrock wrote:
just Czech wrote:
I do not understand the whole concept of family being of less importance then some friends live-in.

It just seems so .... rude.

JMHO
I don't understand a lot of things. Especially being so smug.
You are just as smug.

I know! That's what I love about myself and where I'm at. aww

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Well, I was the person that didn't want kids at my wedding. Yes, I was THAT person.

chef · Guru

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Well, I was the person that didn't want kids at my wedding. Yes, I was THAT person.

Nothing wrong with that.

One of my relatives had a no kids wedding when I was a kid. I think I went anyway but hung out in our hotel room while my parents were at the wedding.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

chef wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Well, I was the person that didn't want kids at my wedding. Yes, I was THAT person.
Nothing wrong with that.
One of my relatives had a no kids wedding when I was a kid. I think I went anyway but hung out in our hotel room while my parents were at the wedding.

Well, it didn't end up working out anyway. We ended up having about five or six kids there. Of the people we invited. My mom invited her doctor (without telling me and after I had already said not to) and they showed up with their 11 kids. Our wedding planner had to kick them out because the kids were so obnoxious.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I had a very strict guest list. 30 people were invited. No more.

All but 5 came.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

Divine looks just like my mother in law. No joke. They could be twins.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Mellow Momma wrote:
Divine looks just like my mother in law. No joke. They could be twins.

WHAT????

That is too funny!!!

Mary Zombie · Guru

chef wrote:
flan327 wrote:
chef wrote:
flan327 wrote:
chef wrote:
flan327 wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
How does taking your husband's name take away your identity?
Wow!
Good luck, welts.
flan
Wow!
So, Flan, should we assume that you kept your maiden name in both your marriages seeing as how you found Lily's question to be so shocking?
What is your problem with me?
flan
I don't have a problem with you.
What's your problem with Lily?
Let's see:
She has no money, but takes vacations & has a "smart" TV.
She's too sick to work, but can spend all day posting.
She claims to be a Pentecostal, but doesn't know that's a Christian sect.
And she sees Satan everywhere.
flan
None of that gives you a reason to constantly snark at and belittle her.
She said the smart TV was for Mother's day. Is she not allowed to get gifts?
You work and you post just as frequently as she does. You also post FROM work. Are you neglecting your duties? Your employer does not pay you to post here.
I have not seen her say Pentecostal is not a Christian sect.
So? You don't believe in Satan (as far as I know) so why would you care? Would you like to be mocked, snarked at, and belittled over most of your posts just because someone doesn't like your beliefs?

Chef Right? WTF ..... way to not answer the question. Be careful when you try and dig up dirt to sling.....remember we all have dirt.

How mean spirited and most of all childish.

huskerbb · Guru

msrock wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
msrock wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
msrock wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
You don't always invite people you "love" to a wedding. Sometimes you invite people like your distant aunt Jane that you haven't seen in awhile. She has a b/f. Not living with him. He's out. I don't give a damn what her will says.
I would never invite my distant Aunt Jane to my wedding. Sorry... But you're out! I'm gonna give that slot to one of my favorite people's guest that I might not know. I would rather do that than have someone there that doesn't have a clue who I am or who I've become. We had to make these very same decisions at my daughter's wedding. It can be tricky... but it worked itself out.
And when you have your wedding you can choose to invite whoever you want. Others can choose to exclude someone because they aren't married. That's THEIR right.
Sure they can. They can do whatever they want. They're paying for it. But that says a lot about their values. That's not my problem. One word. Uptight! Get over yourself! lol! Nobody has fun at that type of thing.
So, you're rude if you're on a budget and you don't invite someone's live in? Wow.
You said it makes them uptight and that they need to get over themselves and they have screwed up values. Just because someone's values are different than yours does not make them screwed up. Some people just really value marriage more than others.
And if someone called me up and said they weren't coming unless their live in could come I'd say I'm sorry you can't make it. I'd leave out the part about THEIR values being screwed up.
If you base your decision on who to invite to your wedding on whether they are married or not...then you're shallow. I will not be having Aunt Jane at my wedding. You can do what you want! It's your day. I'm too old and set in my ways to feel any different. I think it's ugly.

What criteria, then, pray tell would you use? You can't invite everyone's boyfriend or girlfriend, so how do you decide?

huskerbb · Guru

msrock wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
msrock wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Well, ugly is your opinion. Not everyone is independently wealthy and can invite everyone everyone else is sleeping with. Some people have to put limits on things.
Now see. That's rude again. Ugly is within, and what you just said is terrible. You're sleeping with someone, aren't you?
I was just matching ugly with ugly. You seem to think your values are the only ones that are valid and right. Why is that? Why is someone else's values wrong and "ugly". All I'm saying is that your values could be seen as just as "ugly" as the other ones that you keep saying are "ugly".
And yes. I'm legally married. Not even sure why that's applicable here.
You have such a double standard. It's okay for you to look down on people for inviting distant relatives because they value family over live in's.
I'm not looking down on anyone. I guess I was defending myself and my life. Being an unmarried woman, living an unreal life, playing house lol ... I got some flack... and I got defensive. But I don't have a problem with you at all. I enjoy reading your posts.

Yeah, you took it personally which is stupid. It's not about the quality of anyone's relationship--but how is anyone else supposed to tell that?

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

huskerbb wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Six months of cohabitation, presenting one as man and wife, and/or filing taxes together. Any or all of those things in TX makes you "married".
Good to know. I think in some states it is longer. I think it's either Colorado or maybe Virginia where it is like 7 years.

And in some places it's as simple as doing any of that ONCE. There is case law about checking into a hotel as man and wife for one night, registering as married and it made them married. And BTW - even though most states have abolished it, people who lived together for a long time may not realize that they could be married based upon the past, before it was abolished.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Lawyerlady wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Six months of cohabitation, presenting one as man and wife, and/or filing taxes together. Any or all of those things in TX makes you "married".
Good to know. I think in some states it is longer. I think it's either Colorado or maybe Virginia where it is like 7 years.
And in some places it's as simple as doing any of that ONCE. There is case law about checking into a hotel as man and wife for one night, registering as married and it made them married. And BTW - even though most states have abolished it, people who lived together for a long time may not realize that they could be married based upon the past, before it was abolished.

That's how TX law reads.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

I don't think a wedding invitation is some social commentary on "how important" someone else's relationship is. Most people understand that married couples are invited as a Unit. That is just how it has always been. And, that makes it pretty simple. And, most people planning a wedding aren't sitting around trying to dissect or understand someone else's relationship. The easiest solution is to invite and allow a guest to bring one person to help you plan and to cover that. But, if they don't, i don't think it is a "slam' or whatever. And, then if they Bride actually DID call someone and inquire about their relationship, they would be pissed that she was being nosy, how dare she, or she SHOULD know. A lot of life would get easier if people would simply stop presuming what someone else SHOULD know.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

I agree. It would actually be rude to invite someone to a wedding and NOT invite their spouse. It's very common to not do "Plus Ones".

-- Edited by Nobody Just Nobody on Saturday 28th of November 2015 02:32:26 PM

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

When married, it is automatically assumed when you invite one the other is included.

Not the case when they are not married.

Even those engaged are thought of as one.

But not if you are dating or living together.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

People need to stop interpreting everything that happens on the planet to be something totally centered on them. They invited you. Whether they forgot your BF, didn't think about him, or didn't think they should include non-marrieds or just want to limit the guest list. Sooo, either go or don't go. Your choice.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
People need to stop interpreting everything that happens on the planet to be something totally centered on them. They invited you. Whether they forgot your BF, didn't think about him, or didn't think they should include non-marrieds or just want to limit the guest list. Sooo, either go or don't go. Your choice.

Pretty much. It is what it is. It's their wedding and they can do whatever they want.

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

I'm guessing the bride didn't know LW well enough to invite her live in BF who she probably didn't know at all. I bet she won't be missed if she doesn't attend due to him not being invited.

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Well, I was the person that didn't want kids at my wedding. Yes, I was THAT person.

You are a horrible woman!

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Southern_Belle wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Well, I was the person that didn't want kids at my wedding. Yes, I was THAT person.
You are a horrible woman!

I was! And then they all started calling and begging to bring their kids. I folded. I think we maybe had six total at our wedding. They were all really well behaved.

Oh, and not having kids was a cost thing for us. But in the end it worked out so no big deal. The funniest part was we did our dinner kind of buffet style. We had servers but you had to go to the table with the food and they would dish it up for you. We didn't want to pay for "waiters". I planned a very very nice adult dinner. Once I found out kids were coming I added on a kids menu. Most of the adults ate the kids food.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

See. I don't get that. Why would anyone call trying to get someone invited who wasnt?

I didn't do plus one on my invitations. There was only 3 who were not married.

I sent my cousin's fiancé his own invitation.

The other two were not seeing anyone.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Any single person I invited was extended a plus one invite, but then again I had the space and money. Not everyone has that luxury and having to accommodate someone they don't know over Aunt Sally. I also had a child free wedding with the exception of our immediate families. It was absolutely disgusting the people who wanted to bring very young children to my late afternoon/evening elegant wedding that cost a fortune per head, I didn't want little ones running around; my party, my money, my choice.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I only had three little girls at my wedding.

Two little cousins and soon to be neice.

All were 4-5. They were the bird seed girls.

I wouldn't want a bunch of babies at the wedding.

huskerbb · Guru

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
I don't think a wedding invitation is some social commentary on "how important" someone else's relationship is. Most people understand that married couples are invited as a Unit. That is just how it has always been. And, that makes it pretty simple. And, most people planning a wedding aren't sitting around trying to dissect or understand someone else's relationship. The easiest solution is to invite and allow a guest to bring one person to help you plan and to cover that. But, if they don't, i don't think it is a "slam' or whatever. And, then if they Bride actually DID call someone and inquire about their relationship, they would be pissed that she was being nosy, how dare she, or she SHOULD know. A lot of life would get easier if people would simply stop presuming what someone else SHOULD know.

Exactly. There is NO WAY that anyone on the outside can determine "well, so and so are living together, so we better invite them", but "this other couple is living together, but just moved in with each other after a few weeks, so they aren't serious, yet," or "Candace and Bart don't live together but have been dating for a long time, so they should get the plus one".

How can anyone be expected to filter through 40 relationships (or whatever) for each wedding to determine who gets a plus one and who doesn't? They can't.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

huskerbb wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
I don't think a wedding invitation is some social commentary on "how important" someone else's relationship is. Most people understand that married couples are invited as a Unit. That is just how it has always been. And, that makes it pretty simple. And, most people planning a wedding aren't sitting around trying to dissect or understand someone else's relationship. The easiest solution is to invite and allow a guest to bring one person to help you plan and to cover that. But, if they don't, i don't think it is a "slam' or whatever. And, then if they Bride actually DID call someone and inquire about their relationship, they would be pissed that she was being nosy, how dare she, or she SHOULD know. A lot of life would get easier if people would simply stop presuming what someone else SHOULD know.
Exactly. There is NO WAY that anyone on the outside can determine "well, so and so are living together, so we better invite them", but "this other couple is living together, but just moved in with each other after a few weeks, so they aren't serious, yet," or "Candace and Bart don't live together but have been dating for a long time, so they should get the plus one".

How can anyone be expected to filter through 40 relationships (or whatever) for each wedding to determine who gets a plus one and who doesn't? They can't.

But I think the point is, if you have constraints, you don't want someone you don't know coming to the wedding at the cost of not being able to invite someone you do know and want at your wedding.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

I didn't want a bunch of kids at my wedding because, well, a lot of parent's don't supervise their children. We had it at an outside venue with a beautiful man made fish pond with a gorgeous waterfall. One of the rules that was in our agreement was that no children be allowed to climb on the fish pond. I didn't want to spend my wedding worrying about kids climbing on things because their parents wouldn't discipline them. In the end it worked out because the few people who brought kids monitored their kids. The worst thing I can say about them is that towards the end when we served sparkling cider they got overly excited about being allowed to drink it and guzzled a bunch. My mom invited her doctor, whom I had nixed from my wedding list, against my wishes. They have 11 adopted children from foreign countries. The kids ran wild and were shortly kicked out by the owner. I'm not even sure if they had time to eat.

huskerbb · Guru

I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
I don't think a wedding invitation is some social commentary on "how important" someone else's relationship is. Most people understand that married couples are invited as a Unit. That is just how it has always been. And, that makes it pretty simple. And, most people planning a wedding aren't sitting around trying to dissect or understand someone else's relationship. The easiest solution is to invite and allow a guest to bring one person to help you plan and to cover that. But, if they don't, i don't think it is a "slam' or whatever. And, then if they Bride actually DID call someone and inquire about their relationship, they would be pissed that she was being nosy, how dare she, or she SHOULD know. A lot of life would get easier if people would simply stop presuming what someone else SHOULD know.
Exactly. There is NO WAY that anyone on the outside can determine "well, so and so are living together, so we better invite them", but "this other couple is living together, but just moved in with each other after a few weeks, so they aren't serious, yet," or "Candace and Bart don't live together but have been dating for a long time, so they should get the plus one".

How can anyone be expected to filter through 40 relationships (or whatever) for each wedding to determine who gets a plus one and who doesn't? They can't.
But I think the point is, if you have constraints, you don't want someone you don't know coming to the wedding at the cost of not being able to invite someone you do know and want at your wedding.

Sure. So they have to start somewhere paring down the list.