TOTALLY GEEKED!

huskerbb · Guru

This is quite possibly Abby's worst advice, ever.

huskerbb · Guru

So, she is putting the burden of preventing another shooting on this ONE, already scared kid.

WTF is she thinking?

First of all, being bullied is not some excuse for shooting up a school, anyway.

Second, she certainly doesn't know that this kid has bullied anyone, or that this kid being nice to other kids will in any way prevent another attack.

ed11563 · Guru

I think it's good advice as far as it goes.

She should also be talking with her school counselor. She's not the only one who's worried, and the school should address this better with the whole student body.

huskerbb · Guru

ed11563 wrote:
I think it's good advice as far as it goes.
She should also be talking with her school counselor. She's not the only one who's worried, and the school should address this better with the whole student body.

Putting the responsibility for preventing another shooting on one, single student? She's off her rocker.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Yes. Better advice would be to understand that there are some not very nice and some crazy people in the world. However she needs to focus on what is good and right. The Bible says we are to "think on" what is good and right and holy and not focus on the bad.

Dona Worry Be Happy · Vette's SS!!

I don't know. I mean, what is she really going to be able to do about it? And while she covered the standard mental illness and whatnot, it IS important to remember when you are mean you hurt people, and to be kind to everyone we meet.

The world would be so much of a better place if everyone was taught to be kind to everyone we meet, every day.

huskerbb · Guru

Sure, you want to be "nice" to other people--but that is a WHOLLY SEPARATE SUBJECT.

You shouldn't be "nice" to them just to try to prevent them from shooting you--AND--you don't know that being nice to any one person is going to prevent that, anyway, or being nice to everyone.

This kid is going to be going around school acting like a basket case trying to please everyone so they don't shoot him or her.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Ok. So what advice would you give?

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

I just gave my advice above.

huskerbb · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
Ok. So what advice would you give?

Sometimes bad things happen, but they are very rare. It's not something to be concerned about on a daily basis.

huskerbb · Guru

Plus, let's just say the one in a million happens. That this kid is "nice" to some other kid that ends up shooting up the school (or even not nice).

It's now the LW's fault that it happened.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

huskerbb wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Ok. So what advice would you give?
Sometimes bad things happen, but they are very rare. It's not something to be concerned about on a daily basis.

So just don't worry about it. Is that what you are saying?

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I take Abby's advice to mean if we are all a little nicer to our fellow man, it could help make a big difference.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Yes. Dont worry about it. Understand that things happen in life. Its highly unlikely she will ever experience that again. However understand the School's safety plan. But focus on living your best life.

huskerbb · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
I take Abby's advice to mean if we are all a little nicer to our fellow man, it could help make a big difference.

First of all, that assumes she knows the motivations of any of these shooters.

Second, she is addressing ONE scared kid. Want to have a school symposium on bullying? Fine, have at. But putting the responsibility for preventing school shootings on one kid is just wrong.

huskerbb · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
Ok. So what advice would you give?
Sometimes bad things happen, but they are very rare. It's not something to be concerned about on a daily basis.

So just don't worry about it. Is that what you are saying?

What good does worrying do?

From Matthew 10:

28"Do not fear those who kill the body but are unable to kill the soul; but rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell. 29"Are not two sparrows sold for a cent? And yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. 30"But the very hairs of your head are all numbered.…

MUCH better advice.

FNW · Guru

I'm really not sure what other kind of advice she can give to reassure this person. She can't promise it won't happen at her school.

huskerbb · Guru

FNW wrote:
I'm really not sure what other kind of advice she can give to reassure this person. She can't promise it won't happen at her school.

Um, then say THAT.

FNW · Guru

Maybe I should become an advice columnist.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

We have a neighbor boy who was perpetually "offended". He imagined "bullying" over normal interactions of life. He is now in jail. It isnt someone else's fault. These are people for whom everything is someone elses fault but nothing is ever their fault.

huskerbb · Guru

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
We have a neighbor boy who was perpetually "offended". He imagined "bullying" over normal interactions of life. He is now in jail. It isnt someone else's fault. These are people for whom everything is someone elses fault but nothing is ever their fault.

Take that Adam Lanza who shot up the school in Connecticut.

NONE of those 6 year olds ever "bullied" him.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Other kids dont have to like u. They dont have to talk to u, be your friend or invite you places.

huskerbb · Guru

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Other kids dont have to like u. They dont have to talk to u, be your friend or invite you places.

Yeah. The fact is that people now think that being ignored is "bullying".

Sorry, you can't force people to like you--you have to be LIKEABLE.

There are some kids that just aren't. Is it sad? Yes, it is, but you can't force people to be friends.

Dona Worry Be Happy · Vette's SS!!

huskerbb wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
I take Abby's advice to mean if we are all a little nicer to our fellow man, it could help make a big difference.

First of all, that assumes she knows the motivations of any of these shooters.

Second, she is addressing ONE scared kid. Want to have a school symposium on bullying? Fine, have at. But putting the responsibility for preventing school shootings on one kid is just wrong.

But Abby isn't addressing the whole school. She is talking to one scared girl.

Being kind, and standing up for kids she sees being bullied is something proactive she can do. She is already old enough to know that school shootings are rare, but since her school has already been shot up, I doubt being told that would reassure her in the slightest.

I don't think it is terrible advice. It is a hard situation. There is no magic word to make her feel safe again.

huskerbb · Guru

Dona Worry Be Happy wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
I take Abby's advice to mean if we are all a little nicer to our fellow man, it could help make a big difference.

First of all, that assumes she knows the motivations of any of these shooters.

Second, she is addressing ONE scared kid. Want to have a school symposium on bullying? Fine, have at. But putting the responsibility for preventing school shootings on one kid is just wrong.
But Abby isn't addressing the whole school. She is talking to one scared girl.
Being kind, and standing up for kids she sees being bullied is something proactive she can do. She is already old enough to know that school shootings are rare, but since her school has already been shot up, I doubt being told that would reassure her in the slightest.
I don't think it is terrible advice. It is a hard situation. There is no magic word to make her feel safe again.

I know she's talking to ONE kid--and putting the responsibility for preventing school shootings on ONE KID--when that may not even be the reason any particular shooting happens.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Well Smokey the Bear said that I was the ONLY ONE that could prevent Forrest fires.

That's a crap ton of responsibility for kid.

Dona Worry Be Happy · Vette's SS!!

So? What else is this girl going to DO? Actually do?
Your advice is 100 worse than Abby's here.

just Czech · Give Me Grand's!

Dear Abby should have advised the girl to learn better coping skills thru counseling or a school sponsored program. Since this happened in her school, I'm sure such a program is being offered there.

Yeah, I think the advice stinks too.

huskerbb · Guru

Dona Worry Be Happy wrote:
So? What else is this girl going to DO? Actually do?
Your advice is 100 worse than Abby's here.

LOL!!!

This ONE KID can't really "do" anything to prevent a shooting.

Blaming them for one when it happens is NOT a good idea.

Dona Worry Be Happy · Vette's SS!!

huskerbb wrote:
Dona Worry Be Happy wrote:
So? What else is this girl going to DO? Actually do?
Your advice is 100 worse than Abby's here.
LOL!!!

This ONE KID can't really "do" anything to prevent a shooting.

Blaming them for one when it happens is NOT a good idea.

In my opinion, I prefer to be given something productive to do verses an abstract idea to chew on.

All fine and well to talk about coping mechanisms, but being nice and friendly to everyone is a good, practical thing to do, and most importantly, hurts NOTHING.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

just Czech wrote:
Dear Abby should have advised the girl to learn better coping skills thru counseling or a school sponsored program. Since this happened in her school, I'm sure such a program is being offered there.

Yeah, I think the advice stinks too.

Absolutely.

flan

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
Well Smokey the Bear said that I was the ONLY ONE that could prevent Forrest fires.

That's a crap ton of responsibility for kid.

Good point lol! Only YOU can prevent mass shootings and school terrorism!

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

flan327 wrote:
just Czech wrote:
Dear Abby should have advised the girl to learn better coping skills thru counseling or a school sponsored program. Since this happened in her school, I'm sure such a program is being offered there.

Yeah, I think the advice stinks too.
Absolutely.
flan

Didn't you get the memo? Counseling is for losers! You're supposed to figure your life out yourself. And get over it. Right away.

huskerbb · Guru

Dona Worry Be Happy wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Dona Worry Be Happy wrote:
So? What else is this girl going to DO? Actually do?
Your advice is 100 worse than Abby's here.
LOL!!!

This ONE KID can't really "do" anything to prevent a shooting.

Blaming them for one when it happens is NOT a good idea.
In my opinion, I prefer to be given something productive to do verses an abstract idea to chew on.
All fine and well to talk about coping mechanisms, but being nice and friendly to everyone is a good, practical thing to do, and most importantly, hurts NOTHING.

This is NOT giving her something to do that will be of any use in preventing such things.

Just because it will hurt nothing does not mean it is advice that is germane to this situation.

Yeah, you should be nice to people all the time--but NOT because you have some wrong-headed notion that by doing so you will prevent school shootings.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

And, of course if a shooting DID happen, well it's gonna be her fault!

huskerbb · Guru

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
And, of course if a shooting DID happen, well it's gonna be her fault!

That's what I'm saying. Putting the entire responsibility of preventing a school shooting on the shoulders of one child. Nice.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

huskerbb wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
And, of course if a shooting DID happen, well it's gonna be her fault!
That's what I'm saying. Putting the entire responsibility of preventing a school shooting on the shoulders of one child. Nice.

Well, Lilly did make an excellent point about Smokey Bear. I remember that as well.

huskerbb · Guru

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
And, of course if a shooting DID happen, well it's gonna be her fault!
That's what I'm saying. Putting the entire responsibility of preventing a school shooting on the shoulders of one child. Nice.
Well, Lilly did make an excellent point about Smokey Bear. I remember that as well.

But in that case, there is a direct line between a campfire not being put out or a cigarette being thrown out the window and a forest fire.

There is no such direct line here. Again, Adam Lanza was not bullied by any of the 7 year olds he killed.

sweet tooth · Member

huskerbb wrote:
So, she is putting the burden of preventing another shooting on this ONE, already scared kid.

WTF is she thinking?

First of all, being bullied is not some excuse for shooting up a school, anyway.

Second, she certainly doesn't know that this kid has bullied anyone, or that this kid being nice to other kids will in any way prevent another attack.

Exactly.