TOTALLY GEEKED!

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Fiance's family wants to help paint new house

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

I see problems up ahead...

ed11563 · Guru

People shouldn't buy property together before they get married. If they break up before the wedding, they will have a mess.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

ed11563 wrote:
People shouldn't buy property together before they get married. If they break up before the wedding, they will have a mess.

It's a mess even if they are married and get a divorce.

I don't want anyone but a professional painting my walls. People who are not professionals tend to suck at painting and it can look a lot worse, splatters on the ceiling,etc. But in this scenario, I think they are worlds apart. She should choose one room, such as the spare bedroom, to have these helpers paint. Tell them she hasn't decided on colors for other rooms or even if she wants them painted.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
ed11563 wrote:
People shouldn't buy property together before they get married. If they break up before the wedding, they will have a mess.

It's a mess even if they are married and get a divorce.

I don't want anyone but a professional painting my walls. People who are not professionals tend to suck at painting and it can look a lot worse, splatters on the ceiling,etc. But in this scenario, I think they are worlds apart. She should choose one room, such as the spare bedroom, to have these helpers paint. Tell them she hasn't decided on colors for other rooms or even if she wants them painted.

It's painting. It aint Rocket Science. There are literally a 1000 jobs that need done around one's home at any one time. How about cleaning the gutters? Yard work. Washing windows and on and on? Why snub your nose at getting some help? Sheesh.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
ed11563 wrote:
People shouldn't buy property together before they get married. If they break up before the wedding, they will have a mess.

It's a mess even if they are married and get a divorce.

I don't want anyone but a professional painting my walls. People who are not professionals tend to suck at painting and it can look a lot worse, splatters on the ceiling,etc. But in this scenario, I think they are worlds apart. She should choose one room, such as the spare bedroom, to have these helpers paint. Tell them she hasn't decided on colors for other rooms or even if she wants them painted.
It's painting. It aint Rocket Science. There are literally a 1000 jobs that need done around one's home at any one time. How about cleaning the gutters? Yard work. Washing windows and on and on? Why snub your nose at getting some help? Sheesh.

It's a townhouse. So outside work is the responsibility of the HOA. The only projects that these people can help with are indoor projects. Cleaning windows is a good idea.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
ed11563 wrote:
People shouldn't buy property together before they get married. If they break up before the wedding, they will have a mess.

It's a mess even if they are married and get a divorce.

I don't want anyone but a professional painting my walls. People who are not professionals tend to suck at painting and it can look a lot worse, splatters on the ceiling,etc. But in this scenario, I think they are worlds apart. She should choose one room, such as the spare bedroom, to have these helpers paint. Tell them she hasn't decided on colors for other rooms or even if she wants them painted.
It's painting. It aint Rocket Science. There are literally a 1000 jobs that need done around one's home at any one time. How about cleaning the gutters? Yard work. Washing windows and on and on? Why snub your nose at getting some help? Sheesh.
It's a townhouse. So outside work is the responsibility of the HOA. The only projects that these people can help with are indoor projects. Cleaning windows is a good idea.

Yeah, there are plenty of jobs she could get them on board with.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

The only time we have ever had anyone other than family do anything with our house was when the tree fell on it.

We needed 3 rooms rebuilt and a whole new roof.

Other than that, our family is just like the family in the OP.

We just show up, roll up our sleeves and get busy.

Seems to me the LW needs to relax a little.

If they do this as often as it seems they do, they know what they are doing.

And it's going to save a bunch of money.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

I've never painted a room, so I'd make a mess for sure.

flan

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

When we bought our house, MIL visited. I remember I had bought contact paper to line the drawers & asked her to let ME do it.

Yup, came home from work to find the drawers lined...it was such a messy job I thought a blind person had done it.

flan

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

They definitely need to come to some sort of middle ground or this is going to be a bone of contention in the marriage.

Mary Zombie · Guru

It's their first home. There is nothing wrong with wanting things a certain way and the fiances family needs to not take it personally.
And he should not choose to piss off the person he's going to he living with over paint.
Let her be queen of her castle....geesh.

huskerbb · Guru

I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
ed11563 wrote:
People shouldn't buy property together before they get married. If they break up before the wedding, they will have a mess.

It's a mess even if they are married and get a divorce.

I don't want anyone but a professional painting my walls. People who are not professionals tend to suck at painting and it can look a lot worse, splatters on the ceiling,etc. But in this scenario, I think they are worlds apart. She should choose one room, such as the spare bedroom, to have these helpers paint. Tell them she hasn't decided on colors for other rooms or even if she wants them painted.

But less so. There are courts specifically set up to handle division of property when a couple divorces. There are no "shacking up" courts. You can handle some things through regular, civil courts, but it's much messier and it becomes a matter of who paid for what when that aren't issues with divorce.

huskerbb · Guru

Mary Zombie wrote:
It's their first home. There is nothing wrong with wanting things a certain way and the fiances family needs to not take it personally.
And he should not choose to piss off the person he's going to he living with over paint.
Let her be queen of her castle....geesh.

This isn't about a house. This is about the sense of family and community that her husband grew up with. She needs to adjust, too. He even came up with a compromise and she wouldn't even do that. She sounds like a controlling b!tch.

Mary Zombie · Guru

Oh....I think letting them do minor stuff....like contact paper....hanging pics would be nice but I dont think they should push it if she wants to do certain things herself.

huskerbb · Guru

Mary Zombie wrote:
Oh....I think letting them do minor stuff....like contact paper....hanging pics would be nice but I dont think they should push it if she wants to do certain things herself.

But her fiance' has a say, too--and what if he wants them to do certain things? He offered a compromise--she shot it down. If he is smart, he'll call this whole thing off.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

huskerbb wrote:
Mary Zombie wrote:
It's their first home. There is nothing wrong with wanting things a certain way and the fiances family needs to not take it personally.
And he should not choose to piss off the person he's going to he living with over paint.
Let her be queen of her castle....geesh.
This isn't about a house. This is about the sense of family and community that her husband grew up with. She needs to adjust, too. He even came up with a compromise and she wouldn't even do that. She sounds like a controlling b!tch.

Yes. This is bigger than a house. They need to come to some middle ground.

chef · Guru

Free help? Yes, please!

Of course, by free I mean feeding and watering them.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

chef wrote:
Free help? Yes, please!

Of course, by free I mean feeding and watering them.

That's what I was thinking!

NAOW · Vette's SS

If they can't figure this type of stuff out then I don't have confidence in this relationship lasting.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

NAOW wrote:
If they can't figure this type of stuff out then I don't have confidence in this relationship lasting.

Yep. They'll be divorced within two years!

chef · Guru

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
chef wrote:
Free help? Yes, please!

Of course, by free I mean feeding and watering them.
That's what I was thinking!

Great minds!

I like free. I will feed and water you. I don't care if you get paint on the ceiling.

I do have certain things I'd care about if they get broken but those would be put up.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

chef wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
chef wrote:
Free help? Yes, please!

Of course, by free I mean feeding and watering them.
That's what I was thinking!
Great minds!
I like free. I will feed and water you. I don't care if you get paint on the ceiling.
I do have certain things I'd care about if they get broken but those would be put up.

Okay! I'll be over in short time and we can make some cookies together.

chef · Guru

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
chef wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
chef wrote:
Free help? Yes, please!

Of course, by free I mean feeding and watering them.
That's what I was thinking!
Great minds!
I like free. I will feed and water you. I don't care if you get paint on the ceiling.
I do have certain things I'd care about if they get broken but those would be put up.
Okay! I'll be over in short time and we can make some cookies together.

Woohoo!

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Nobody told me there would be COOKIES!!!!

flan

FNW · Guru

She sounds a bit OCD. She needs to find a project for them where quality wouldn't really matter. I like the window cleaning idea. Or cleaning in general. I see trouble in the future.

Lexxy · My dog name is Sasha, too!

This relationship is doomed if she doesn't learn to compromise. He offered her one. She wouldn't take it. I hope he walks away before it is too late.

huskerbb · Guru

I'd never pay for movers. What are friends and family for if they can't help you move?

I'm always willing to help other people move, too.

Bonny22Pye · Guru

huskerbb wrote:
I'd never pay for movers. What are friends and family for if they can't help you move?

I'm always willing to help other people move, too.

I hate moving people. So I just use movers. So much quicker. I'll help a friend pack up china and delicate stuff but I won't actually move stuff anymore.