TOTALLY GEEKED!

ed11563 · Guru

Woman ashamed of her messy home

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

If she can only make herself clean when people are coming over, she needs to institute a bi-weekly gathering of friends or family at her house.

huskerbb · Guru

Everybody is busy. That's not an excuse. They don't even have kids.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Yeah.
Two adults should be able to keep things in order.

One thing is to never leave a room empty handed.

NAOW · Vette's SS

Pick up after yourself as you go and the mess wont get as bad. If you really can't do it, and it bothers you, then a cleaning service would be a good investment, but even then you will have to pick up after yourself a least a little bit.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

The problem is this - he was raised by a hoarder and was never talk to clean up after himself. She was raised by a neat freak and is likely backlashing against what she had to deal with as a kid living with a neat freak. They are both going to need to change a lot of habits.

I can actually sympathize. I was headed toward hoarderville. But, with some drastic measures, and come to Jesus talks with myself, we have gotten rid of more than we kept and are now keeping up with everything. Halleluia!

They need a roll-off dumpster. It is amazing how easy and cathartic it can be to just toss and toss and toss - it helps with the over-whelmingness. And they need to clean it all out and what they can't bear to part with right now goes into a storage unit. When they realize it can be lived without - it will get easier to get rid off.

They are going to each have to take at least a week off work to do this. And they may need to suck up their pride and ask family to help.

TrudyML · Guru

She's got time to write the letter. Pick up the dirty socks!

msrock · Guru

I just don't understand how people can live like this. And if the husband is working full time and overtime and she's working full time and going to school full-time, why in the hell did they get three pets?? That's not right. I hate that.

Lexxy · My dog name is Sasha, too!

If they are working full time & she is going to school how does the house get so dirty? I mean there is nobody home to dirty it. If the dogs are pulling garbage out of the can get one with a heavy lid so they can't.

Mary Zombie · Guru

I don't dust or mop much but things look picked up. I don't get how it could be so messy either.
Though I know people who make messes on purpose....they think it's cool somehow.
Weird.

Ohfour · Hooker

Lexxy wrote:
If they are working full time & she is going to school how does the house get so dirty? I mean there is nobody home to dirty it. If the dogs are pulling garbage out of the can get one with a heavy lid so they can't.

My thoughts exactly!

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

I cannot understand not doing the dishes. Doesn't that smell and bring in bugs?

I don't care if your house is messy, but please - vacuum at least once a week, clean your bathrooms, and do the dishes.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lawyerlady wrote:
I cannot understand not doing the dishes. Doesn't that smell and bring in bugs?

I don't care if your house is messy, but please - vacuum at least once a week, clean your bathrooms, and do the dishes.

Never visit me... biggrin

flan

Lexxy · My dog name is Sasha, too!

flan327 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
I cannot understand not doing the dishes. Doesn't that smell and bring in bugs?

I don't care if your house is messy, but please - vacuum at least once a week, clean your bathrooms, and do the dishes.
Never visit me...
flan

Me neither! I do hate dishes in the sink. I get the dishes loaded into the dishwasher very night before I go up to bed.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

msrock wrote:
I just don't understand how people can live like this. And if the husband is working full time and overtime and she's working full time and going to school full-time, why in the hell did they get three pets?? That's not right. I hate that.

They always have 3 pets don't they!

ed11563 · Guru

Mary Zombie wrote:
I don't dust or mop much but things look picked up. I don't get how it could be so messy either.
Though I know people who make messes on purpose....they think it's cool somehow.
Weird.

Spouse uses STUFF to mark her territory.

Every open square inch on any table or surface has to have something on it.

I keep the kitchen functional most of the time.

Dishes? Paper plates, plastic cups and cutlery.

Pots and pans? When they get used I wash them immediately.

Vacuum? ... um ....

I wash the laundry as needed.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
If she can only make herself clean when people are coming over, she needs to institute a bi-weekly gathering of friends or family at her house.

I don't think that will help actually. Unless they have their surfaces cleared, a housekeeper is not going to know what to do with a volume of stuff and there is really no way to clean around it. What i suggest is what i call "Commando Cleaning". This is a take no prisoners type of cleaning. For instance, i was getting over run with toys due to generous relatives. So, one summer, i took ALL the toys out and laid them down on the driveway. I said, take whatever you want. But, take it now, because if you don't, its' going to Goodwill. Well, they sorted though, picked a few toys over about 5 min then walked away. I literally took every blessed thing and stuffed it into a box and sent it to Goodwill. I have learned over time that too much stuff can own you. It owns your time, it owns your piece of mind. And, kids get overwhelmed by too much crap. Get rid of it.

And, I know they are both working full time and she is in school. So, ok, there has to be a ONE day somewhere in there that they can tackle something. And, it becomes very motivating. You clean out the bedroom closet for instance. And it feels good and it motivates you to do more. Over time, you can get control back of your house.

Lindley · Guru

I can see letting things get cluttered but to not do your dishes till all the plates are gone? Leave trash where dogs can get into them and like ms rock said, why have 3 dogs when you are hardly ever home. There is messy and then there is dirty.

weltschmerz · Guru

Lindley wrote:
I can see letting things get cluttered but to not do your dishes till all the plates are gone? Leave trash where dogs can get into them and like ms rock said, why have 3 dogs when you are hardly ever home. There is messy and then there is dirty.

Like you never drank wine out of a measuring cup....

biggrin

NAOW · Vette's SS

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
If she can only make herself clean when people are coming over, she needs to institute a bi-weekly gathering of friends or family at her house.
I don't think that will help actually. Unless they have their surfaces cleared, a housekeeper is not going to know what to do with a volume of stuff and there is really no way to clean around it. What i suggest is what i call "Commando Cleaning". This is a take no prisoners type of cleaning. For instance, i was getting over run with toys due to generous relatives. So, one summer, i took ALL the toys out and laid them down on the driveway. I said, take whatever you want. But, take it now, because if you don't, its' going to Goodwill. Well, they sorted though, picked a few toys over about 5 min then walked away. I literally took every blessed thing and stuffed it into a box and sent it to Goodwill. I have learned over time that too much stuff can own you. It owns your time, it owns your piece of mind. And, kids get overwhelmed by too much crap. Get rid of it.
And, I know they are both working full time and she is in school. So, ok, there has to be a ONE day somewhere in there that they can tackle something. And, it becomes very motivating. You clean out the bedroom closet for instance. And it feels good and it motivates you to do more. Over time, you can get control back of your house.

Yes. I posted a couple weeks ago about cleaning out DD's room. I got rid of 2 huge black trash bags worth of stuff, and she has yet to notice.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

weltschmerz wrote:
Lindley wrote:
I can see letting things get cluttered but to not do your dishes till all the plates are gone? Leave trash where dogs can get into them and like ms rock said, why have 3 dogs when you are hardly ever home. There is messy and then there is dirty.
Like you never drank wine out of a measuring cup....

Why dirty a measuring cup? Drink it from the bottle.

flan

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

It isn't hard to keep a house picked up and wiped down.

Need to clean the shower? Spray it down when you start getting your clothes to take your shower. Wipe it down when you get in.

Tub? Spray it down when you go in to pee. Wash it down before you leave.

Put the toilet cleaner in before showering, scrub and flush when done.

Keep those quick wipes in the bathroom and wipe down the counters and sink while brushing your teeth.

Lightly mist a dust mop with water and run over the floors as you go out the door.

Swiffer once a week.

It takes less than 5 minutes to vacuum a room. Do it as you walk through.

Clean as you cook. Wash as you go. Keep a little soap water in the sink and wash what you use. With 2 people, it shouldn't take 5 minutes to clean up after a meal.

The clorox wipes are great for wiping down cabinets as you leave the room.

Never leave a room empty handed.

Dust as you walk by a table or book case.

If you start a load of clothes the minute you get up, they are usually ready for the dryer as you leave.

It's not hard to keep a house clean.

It's simply a matter of doing it.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Lily, I don't have that kind of time. I have 3 hours at home and in that time dinner needs to be made, dog needs to be walked, laundry, etc.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I did it. Worked full time, 3 kids underfoot, and daily things that needs done.

It's not about doing it all at one time.

It's about using time wisely.

I mean, it isnt hard and takes no more time to do while doing what needs to be done.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

Homework help, any lessons we need to get to and back again, school projects that need done, shopping, parent teacher meetings, doctor's appointments....

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Take cooking.

While I am cooking, I am cleaning the kitchen as I go.

When we sit down to eat, the only things left to wash is what we have in our hands.

It takes 5 minutes to wash up what's left and I wipe down the sink and cabinet as I leave. There are 6 of us here. I don't have a dishwasher.

weltschmerz · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
It isn't hard to keep a house picked up and wiped down.

Need to clean the shower? Spray it down when you start getting your clothes to take your shower. Wipe it down when you get in.

Tub? Spray it down when you go in to pee. Wash it down before you leave.

Put the toilet cleaner in before showering, scrub and flush when done.

Keep those quick wipes in the bathroom and wipe down the counters and sink while brushing your teeth.

Lightly mist a dust mop with water and run over the floors as you go out the door.

Swiffer once a week.

It takes less than 5 minutes to vacuum a room. Do it as you walk through.

Clean as you cook. Wash as you go. Keep a little soap water in the sink and wash what you use. With 2 people, it shouldn't take 5 minutes to clean up after a meal.

The clorox wipes are great for wiping down cabinets as you leave the room.

Never leave a room empty handed.

Dust as you walk by a table or book case.

If you start a load of clothes the minute you get up, they are usually ready for the dryer as you leave.

It's not hard to keep a house clean.

It's simply a matter of doing it.

So, be cleaning ALL THE TIME, even when showering or walking out the door or peeing or getting dressed?

Oy! That would make me crazy. Sounds like OCD.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Mellow Momma wrote:
Homework help, any lessons we need to get to and back again, school projects that need done, shopping, parent teacher meetings, doctor's appointments....

Yep. Did it.

The kids got home from school at 2:45. I had to leave for work at 4:30.

We did homework, got their showers, and I made dinner, fed them and cleaned up in that time.

All I'm saying is, you don't have to do everything, all the cleaning, at one time.

It can be broken down and done as you do other things that need doing.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

weltschmerz wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
It isn't hard to keep a house picked up and wiped down.

Need to clean the shower? Spray it down when you start getting your clothes to take your shower. Wipe it down when you get in.

Tub? Spray it down when you go in to pee. Wash it down before you leave.

Put the toilet cleaner in before showering, scrub and flush when done.

Keep those quick wipes in the bathroom and wipe down the counters and sink while brushing your teeth.

Lightly mist a dust mop with water and run over the floors as you go out the door.

Swiffer once a week.

It takes less than 5 minutes to vacuum a room. Do it as you walk through.

Clean as you cook. Wash as you go. Keep a little soap water in the sink and wash what you use. With 2 people, it shouldn't take 5 minutes to clean up after a meal.

The clorox wipes are great for wiping down cabinets as you leave the room.

Never leave a room empty handed.

Dust as you walk by a table or book case.

If you start a load of clothes the minute you get up, they are usually ready for the dryer as you leave.

It's not hard to keep a house clean.

It's simply a matter of doing it.
So, be cleaning ALL THE TIME, even when showering or walking out the door or peeing or getting dressed?
Oy! That would make me crazy. Sounds like OCD.

It's how I kept things going.

It isn't hard.

It's just keeping things done.

So that when I was with my kids I could be fully with them.

I mean, how much time does it take to wipe down a sink while washing your hands?

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

weltschmerz wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
It isn't hard to keep a house picked up and wiped down.

Need to clean the shower? Spray it down when you start getting your clothes to take your shower. Wipe it down when you get in.

Tub? Spray it down when you go in to pee. Wash it down before you leave.

Put the toilet cleaner in before showering, scrub and flush when done.

Keep those quick wipes in the bathroom and wipe down the counters and sink while brushing your teeth.

Lightly mist a dust mop with water and run over the floors as you go out the door.

Swiffer once a week.

It takes less than 5 minutes to vacuum a room. Do it as you walk through.

Clean as you cook. Wash as you go. Keep a little soap water in the sink and wash what you use. With 2 people, it shouldn't take 5 minutes to clean up after a meal.

The clorox wipes are great for wiping down cabinets as you leave the room.

Never leave a room empty handed.

Dust as you walk by a table or book case.

If you start a load of clothes the minute you get up, they are usually ready for the dryer as you leave.

It's not hard to keep a house clean.

It's simply a matter of doing it.
So, be cleaning ALL THE TIME, even when showering or walking out the door or peeing or getting dressed?
Oy! That would make me crazy. Sounds like OCD.

OMG I don't wanna think about cleaning all the dang time! Sometimes you have to let things go undone. There are times you can only do what you can do. So, yeah, sometimes things get a bit chaotic. But, then later you have to double down and get stuff done.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

And I can't just let it go.

It isn't about constantly cleaning.

It's just about seeing something that needs doing and doing it.

Now I had to keep things dusted and vacuumed because of Aaron's allergies.

I did that at the very least every other day.

I don't know.

I just know what worked for me and my home.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
weltschmerz wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
It isn't hard to keep a house picked up and wiped down.

Need to clean the shower? Spray it down when you start getting your clothes to take your shower. Wipe it down when you get in.

Tub? Spray it down when you go in to pee. Wash it down before you leave.

Put the toilet cleaner in before showering, scrub and flush when done.

Keep those quick wipes in the bathroom and wipe down the counters and sink while brushing your teeth.

Lightly mist a dust mop with water and run over the floors as you go out the door.

Swiffer once a week.

It takes less than 5 minutes to vacuum a room. Do it as you walk through.

Clean as you cook. Wash as you go. Keep a little soap water in the sink and wash what you use. With 2 people, it shouldn't take 5 minutes to clean up after a meal.

The clorox wipes are great for wiping down cabinets as you leave the room.

Never leave a room empty handed.

Dust as you walk by a table or book case.

If you start a load of clothes the minute you get up, they are usually ready for the dryer as you leave.

It's not hard to keep a house clean.

It's simply a matter of doing it.
So, be cleaning ALL THE TIME, even when showering or walking out the door or peeing or getting dressed?
Oy! That would make me crazy. Sounds like OCD.
OMG I don't wanna think about cleaning all the dang time! Sometimes you have to let things go undone. There are times you can only do what you can do. So, yeah, sometimes things get a bit chaotic. But, then later you have to double down and get stuff done.

Exactly my thoughts. That would drive me crazy. Can't I even take a pee without thinking about cleaning something? Oy. I would be incredibly irritated.

msrock · Guru

Well I am very lucky, because I don't really have to clean much. Our home is immaculate because I happen to be with the neatest, most organized guy on the planet. I'm the messy one. But he cleans up my messes... And then some. We are good together because I bring other things to the table. It all works out. I haven't touched a toilet brush in 10 years. lol!

Lindley · Guru

weltschmerz wrote:
Lindley wrote:
I can see letting things get cluttered but to not do your dishes till all the plates are gone? Leave trash where dogs can get into them and like ms rock said, why have 3 dogs when you are hardly ever home. There is messy and then there is dirty.
Like you never drank wine out of a measuring cup....

I would never drink wine in anything but crystal 🍷 (turns up nose)

☺

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

msrock wrote:
Well I am very lucky, because I don't really have to clean much. Our home is immaculate because I happen to be with the neatest, most organized guy on the planet. I'm the messy one. But he cleans up my messes... And then some. We are good together because I bring other things to the table. It all works out. I haven't touched a toilet brush in 10 years. lol!

Yes, but you're living in sin so none of that actually counts! biggrin

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

LMAO!!!!!

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

My house is messy at times, but not dirty. I average working about 50 hours a week plus about 4 hours on Sunday for church stuff. I also have a small sad social life. Things get done but my home is no showcase. DD does a lot of the cleaning.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

My house cleaner comes tomorrow.

Cheerios4606 · Guru

They run out of dishes after a week or two? Here is your first clue... You have too much stuff to be able to eat and dirty two weeks of dishes before having to wash them. (Um ew! Mold anyone?!) Get rid of the 8 place settings and trim it down to two plates, two bowels and one set of silverware. Purge purge purge! Every day throw something out, give it away or store it off site. Look into my eyes and repeat after meeeeee.... Less is more. Less is more. Less is more.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

That is a good point.

It's two people.

If each one washes their own place setting, how hard can it be?

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

Cheerios4606 wrote:
They run out of dishes after a week or two? Here is your first clue... You have too much stuff to be able to eat and dirty two weeks of dishes before having to wash them. (Um ew! Mold anyone?!) Get rid of the 8 place settings and trim it down to two plates, two bowels and one set of silverware. Purge purge purge! Every day throw something out, give it away or store it off site. Look into my eyes and repeat after meeeeee.... Less is more. Less is more. Less is more.

I am betting they don't eat breakfast, lunch is at work, and dinner is the only (if any) meal they eat at home. It might take 2 weeks to get through 8 place settings if they eat out a few times a week.