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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Dear Prudie: Busy Lawyer Boyfriend
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Dear Prudence,
I’ve been dating a guy I met in law school for about two years. He is the type who wants to work constantly his entire life, be extremely successful, and provide lavishly for his future family. He’d prefer to work 12-hour days and make more money than work 8-hour days and come home for dinner. I strongly disagree with this. In a conversation about our future, He said he would spend as much time as possible with a child when he wasn’t working, but when I asked him if he would take two weeks of paternity leave, he said absolutely not. Once upon a time, he said, men were back at the office 30 minutes after the baby was born. He thinks I don’t appreciate his work ethic and desire to provide the best life possible for his future wife and children. Are we incompatible, or is something that can be worked out? 

—Future Single Parent

 

You are incompatible! He’s made himself perfectly clear: If you want a high-earning husband who’s rarely at home but pays for everything, he’s your guy. If you want someone who comes home in time for dinner and won’t rush out of the delivery room to jump on a conference call after the birth of your firstborn, thank him for his honesty, and move on to someone whose idea of work-life balance more closely resembles yours.

 

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/12/dear_prudence_should_i_dognap_my_neighbors_neglected_pup.2.html



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FNW


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Another woman who finds a great man who is not a good fit for her and she expects him to change.

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Yes. And, there are points in your life where you are crazy busy at work. I know women who have married doctors and beitch and moan because they are on call. For the LW, he spent a lot of years training to be a lawyer. Now, he wants to run with it. You either accept that as part of who he is or move on. I have seen women who divorce ambitious men and then boo hoo after the fact.

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ed11563


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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

Yes. And, there are points in your life where you are crazy busy at work. I know women who have married doctors and beitch and moan because they are on call. For the LW, he spent a lot of years training to be a lawyer. Now, he wants to run with it. You either accept that as part of who he is or move on. I have seen women who divorce ambitious men and then boo hoo after the fact.

At least there's alimony 

 



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Lady Gaga Snerd


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If that's what you are going for in life, i guess so.

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It sounds like he is just starting his career. Give him some time to put in the hours and work hard before starting the family. They're not even married yet. It doesn't sound like a family is even on his radar at this moment.

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Empyreal


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He sounds perfect! :)

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Empyreal wrote:

He sounds perfect! :)

 I know, doesn't he?



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Empyreal wrote:

He sounds perfect! :)

 LOL!



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Nobody Just Nobody


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Everyone is being really hard on her but sorry, if she has different goals in life than what he does I don't see a problem with it. Yes, money is good. It's great. But some people value time and experiences over money. Didn't we just have a thread about buying experiences instead of things? I don't see either of them as bad people. They are just different and need to decide if their differences are things they can work with or not. If not she needs to find someone else.

And trust me, dating a doctor is not the greatest thing in the world.

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Its not a problem if she doesnt want thst. But dont try ti change him.

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huskerbb


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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

Everyone is being really hard on her but sorry, if she has different goals in life than what he does I don't see a problem with it. Yes, money is good. It's great. But some people value time and experiences over money. Didn't we just have a thread about buying experiences instead of things? I don't see either of them as bad people. They are just different and need to decide if their differences are things they can work with or not. If not she needs to find someone else.

And trust me, dating a doctor is not the greatest thing in the world.

That isn't what she wants.  She expects him to change.  That's the issue.  She doesn't want to move on and find someone more compatible.  She thinks her life goals trump his.  That's why everyone is being so "hard" on her. 



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