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Post Info TOPIC: Dear Miss Manners: Cut from Guest List


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DEAR MISS MANNERS: My friend did not receive an invitation to a Christmas party she has been going to every year for 19 years. She assumed it was an oversight and called the hostess. Unfortunately, the hostess told her she was cut from the list this year.

Was my friend wrong to call? They were next-door neighbors for 18 years, and the hostess still lives in the same town. My friend is mortified and embarrassed. I told my friend that the hostess should have lied and said it was an oversight!

GENTLE READER: Just a guess, but has your friend not reciprocated all that hospitality?

Miss Manners presumes that the hostess was fed up with someone who treats her parties as an entitlement. There was no need to lie, but she could have replied to that presumptuous call with, "I'm sorry, we're giving a smaller party this year, for people we always see."

http://www.uexpress.com/miss-manners/2015/12/22/flaring-family-tempers-could-use-some

 



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Frozen Sucks!

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Is this Debbie Downer from the other letter?

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On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

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Perhaps she should invite her friend.

Although it has to be horrible to be part of a tradition and that is just ended with no warning.

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After that many years I would think she felt comfortable enough with her (former) friend to inquire about the party. Not that I would have the nerve to ask, but all the same.

Sounds like the hostess's response was a bit harsh. And hurtful. But apparently, that was the idea. I wonder what the friend did that would warrant being cut off.

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Frozen Sucks!

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If I had a party every year for decades and decided not to anymore I would tell the usual guests that I was no longer hosting. If I were still having the party and there was one or two that I cut off the list, I would lie to them and tell them I was no longer having the party.

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I know what to do_sometimes wrote:

Is this Debbie Downer from the other letter?


Heehee! 



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FNW wrote:

After that many years I would think she felt comfortable enough with her (former) friend to inquire about the party. Not that I would have the nerve to ask, but all the same.

Sounds like the hostess's response was a bit harsh. And hurtful. But apparently, that was the idea. I wonder what the friend did that would warrant being cut off.


 Yeah, i mean 19 years.  She was good enough for 19 years.  Yes, that doesnt' mean they have to have a lifetime committment necessarily but to just leave her off the list and wondering isn't very nice.  Then again, telling her she was "cut" is hurtful too.  But, it seems nowadays others really don't have that much consideration for hurting people anymore.  



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My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

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They WERE neighbors for 18 yrs.

That's why she use to get the invitations.



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I know what to do_sometimes wrote:

If I had a party every year for decades and decided not to anymore I would tell the usual guests that I was no longer hosting. If I were still having the party and there was one or two that I cut off the list, I would lie to them and tell them I was no longer having the party.


If they have friends in common, she'd find out about the party anyway, and that would be worse.

Lying tends to bite people in the ass.



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Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

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Well, I'm having a party and NONE of you are invited.

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Beitch!

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Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

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I'm only inviting my OTHER pretend friends!

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Frozen Sucks!

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weltschmerz wrote:
I know what to do_sometimes wrote:

If I had a party every year for decades and decided not to anymore I would tell the usual guests that I was no longer hosting. If I were still having the party and there was one or two that I cut off the list, I would lie to them and tell them I was no longer having the party.


If they have friends in common, she'd find out about the party anyway, and that would be worse.

Lying tends to bite people in the ass.


 It is better than saying to someone "you are off the list"!



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Frozen Sucks!

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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

I'm only inviting my OTHER pretend friends!


 So you only have to have pretend apps and such!  



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Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

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I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

I'm only inviting my OTHER pretend friends!


 So you only have to have pretend apps and such!  


 Pretend apps are SO MUCH EASIER to make and always taste great!



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Itty bitty's Grammy

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weltschmerz wrote:
I know what to do_sometimes wrote:

If I had a party every year for decades and decided not to anymore I would tell the usual guests that I was no longer hosting. If I were still having the party and there was one or two that I cut off the list, I would lie to them and tell them I was no longer having the party.


If they have friends in common, she'd find out about the party anyway, and that would be worse.

Lying tends to bite people in the ass.


 I agree, although it sounds like the friendship is shot anyway.

flan



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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

I'm only inviting my OTHER pretend friends!


 😢



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Itty bitty's Grammy

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Okay, NJN...

NOW you've done it. You made Lindley cry...

flan

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Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

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flan327 wrote:

Okay, NJN...

NOW you've done it. You made Lindley cry...

flan


 I will make an exception for Lindley because she is so nice and sweet.  AND, she's a grandmother.  Maybe I'll invite you too flan since you're a grandma.  Maybe being a grandma is like an illness and I can catch it from hanging around y'all.



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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
flan327 wrote:

Okay, NJN...

NOW you've done it. You made Lindley cry...

flan


 I will make an exception for Lindley because she is so nice and sweet.  AND, she's a grandmother.  Maybe I'll invite you too flan since you're a grandma.  Maybe being a grandma is like an illness and I can catch it from hanging around y'all.


  You two are so funny. 😊



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Itty bitty's Grammy

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We've grown on each other over the years!

flan

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Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

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Lindley wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
flan327 wrote:

Okay, NJN...

NOW you've done it. You made Lindley cry...

flan


 I will make an exception for Lindley because she is so nice and sweet.  AND, she's a grandmother.  Maybe I'll invite you too flan since you're a grandma.  Maybe being a grandma is like an illness and I can catch it from hanging around y'all.


  You two are so funny. 😊


 Thank you.  And I did used to hate flan with a purple passion.



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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Lindley wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
flan327 wrote:

Okay, NJN...

NOW you've done it. You made Lindley cry...

flan


 I will make an exception for Lindley because she is so nice and sweet.  AND, she's a grandmother.  Maybe I'll invite you too flan since you're a grandma.  Maybe being a grandma is like an illness and I can catch it from hanging around y'all.


  You two are so funny. 😊


 Thank you.  And I did used to hate flan with a purple passion.


 You two banter very well.



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Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

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flan isn't such a bad old bitty. Her bark is pretty ugly but she has no teeth anymore so her bite is nothing!

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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

flan isn't such a bad old bitty. Her bark is pretty ugly but she has no teeth anymore so her bite is nothing!


 She has a soft heart underneath  that bark.  



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Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

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WOOF WOOF!

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Itty bitty's Grammy

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Lindley wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

flan isn't such a bad old bitty. Her bark is pretty ugly but she has no teeth anymore so her bite is nothing!


 She has a soft heart underneath  that bark.  


 ZOMG!

That was supposed to be a secret!

flan



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Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

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Itty bitty's Grammy

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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

flan isn't such a bad old bitty. Her bark is pretty ugly but she has no teeth anymore so her bite is nothing!


 Hey, NJN...Remember that coffee you wanted in 2017?!

flan



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Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

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flan327 wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

flan isn't such a bad old bitty. Her bark is pretty ugly but she has no teeth anymore so her bite is nothing!


 Hey, NJN...Remember that coffee you wanted in 2017?!

flan


 Alright, that's just downright mean!



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On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
flan327 wrote:

Okay, NJN...

NOW you've done it. You made Lindley cry...

flan


 I will make an exception for Lindley because she is so nice and sweet.  AND, she's a grandmother.  Maybe I'll invite you too flan since you're a grandma.  Maybe being a grandma is like an illness and I can catch it from hanging around y'all.


 Uhhh, if being a grandma is catching, I can no longer be around grandmothers.  I'm not even near ready to be one.



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Itty bitty's Grammy

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Lawyerlady wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
flan327 wrote:

Okay, NJN...

NOW you've done it. You made Lindley cry...

flan


 I will make an exception for Lindley because she is so nice and sweet.  AND, she's a grandmother.  Maybe I'll invite you too flan since you're a grandma.  Maybe being a grandma is like an illness and I can catch it from hanging around y'all.


 Uhhh, if being a grandma is catching, I can no longer be around grandmothers.  I'm not even near ready to be one.


 I think you're safe, LL.

flan



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My dog name is Sasha, too!

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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

flan isn't such a bad old bitty. Her bark is pretty ugly but she has no teeth anymore so her bite is nothing!


 Did anyone put this in the quote Hall of Fame yet?  I snorted a mouthful of tea up my nose when I read it.



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I like everyone on this board.

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Give Me Grand's!

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FNW wrote:

I like everyone on this board.


Oh, pushaw, that's because we are all crazy. biggrin 



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lilyofcourse wrote:

They WERE neighbors for 18 yrs.

That's why she use to get the invitations.


 Out of sight out of mind.  That's life.



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FNW wrote:

I like everyone on this board.


I'm honored smile



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I love all you fellow whackanuts!

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Mary Zombie wrote:

I love all you fellow whackanuts!


right back atcha ... smile



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