TOTALLY GEEKED!

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

RE: Dear Abby: Pretty Daughter More than Looks

huskerbb · Guru

Except you just did it, again.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

huskerbb wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Husker you arent that funny nor clever. Just sayin.
Then feel free to not read anything I post.

Ignoring is a 2 way street. Have at it.

huskerbb · Guru

???? Where did I say I wanted to ignore anyone's posts?

FNW · Guru

Mellow Momma wrote:
FNW wrote:
Oh, my mistake. I thought she was still 12.
Yes, they were two different parties. The graduation party of her cousin when she was 12, and a college party she attended as a college student.
And I would imagine that when your boys were young, when you left the house, people commented about them being twins. They probably stopped you and said how cute the twins were and made a stupid twin comment like "do they think alike?" It probably got really frustrating and tiresome. No matter how much you wanted people to see that they are two different people with special talents all anyone could see was that they were twins. So you took extra time at home to teach them that they were each valued for more than their twin-ness. They had talents and gifts that went beyond how they looked to others. And while it wasn't offensive per se to have someone comment on their twindom, it was tiresome and a tad frustrating. Same with me and raising a girl who was pretty.

Actually, I never tire of the compliments or comparisons they make as twins. A couple of their teachers call them by both names because they don't know which one they're talking to, even though they are not identical. They think it's funny. And since my own mother could not tell which was which when they were babies, I understand it.

Yes, they have their own values and talents, but talents and values are not visible at first glance. Only physical appearance. It would be unusual if not impossible to give praise for those talents at first blush...unless they were competing in a talent show or something like that. So appearances are what anyone has to go on for a first impression.

Any more, most people don't recognize them as twins because #1 is a little taller than #2, so they assume he is older. I admit that can be a little annoying, because I worry #2 might feel "small". But there's nothing I can do except teach him about growth spurts and say his day will come.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

I think, in an effort to not focus on looks, that the focus can become too focused in other ways. KWIM?

FNW · Guru

Mellow Momma wrote:
So do you if you think pretty girls get to do whatever they want. That's idiotic.

Well, it does help. I've even had a couple employers tell me (later, after we became friends) that I was hired because I was attractive. And this came from the women employers. One hired me with her brother in mind and the other admitted she was uncomfortable being around unattractive people. Shallow, maybe, but one cannot help how they feel. I know in my early days as a receptionist or secretary in the 1980's having a cute assistant was a status symbol...a show of success. I'm not so sure that has changed, it's just not broadcast. But one certainly would not be able to maintain the job if they didn't have a brain, of course.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Is there anything someone won't be offended about? You can't even compliment someone or hold a door for them or do anything because there is somebody who is going to find it offensive.

As for the twin thing, DD has friends who are twins. I can only tell them apart when i see them side by side as one has a slightly different shaped chin and the other twin is a bit more muscular. I used to coach them and they would come to practice dressed in identical clothes and shoes. That is fine to dress them alike ,but that makes it harder to tell them apart. As they got older, they finally got different shoes so that is how i was able to tell them apart in practice. As for "comments', people make comments. Most comments are just off the cuff and they don't mean anything by it at all.

FNW · Guru

I don't dress them alike ever. Never did. They usually pick out their clothes. They do have matching jackets (their choice) which could make it difficult if you go by what they are wearing for identification purposes only. There are twins who live(d) behind us and until recently, I could never tell which was which. They dressed alike. Now, one lives in UT and when she visits, I notice she colored her hair more red. Even the boys cannot tell them apart.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

There is nothing wrong with dressing them alike. Just don't be mad if people can't tell. That's all.

FNW · Guru

Exactly.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

My boys are not twins but everyone assumed they were growing up.

Not kidding, every where we went someone would squeal "TWINS!, look how precious!"

It became so common, the boys became pre-emptive by immediately stating "we're not twins" to just about anyone within ear shot.

But we were never offended by it.

FNW · Guru

My brother and I don't have many similarities aside from our mouth/nose/chin area which was subtle, so people didn't know we were related. I used to have fun with it. If a girl was checking him out, I'd slip my arm around him. haha. Or I'd tell people he was adopted.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

It's funny how we mess with siblings.