TOTALLY GEEKED!

huskerbb · Guru

RE: Help! Should My Daughter’s Girlfriend Stay With Us if Her Parents Don’t Know She’s Gay?

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

The problem IS that we don't know if the GF's parents would accept her homosexuality or if it's just an example of teenage melodrama.

flan

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

huskerbb wrote:
flan327 wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Dona Worry Be Happy wrote:
They were friends when they parted, and they have only been gfs over the internet. There is zero chance of pregnancy, and both parents already agreed to the summer long visit, canceling now leads to a lot of awkward questions and hurt feeling all around, and as long as rules are in place and they are sleeping in separate rooms, I see very little downside to this arrangement.
I guess it wouldn't faze me at all.
So you would be fine with other parents lying to you? That's what you would be doing to them.

hey mom, I'm going to stay at cindis house--while cindis mom leaves out the part where she and her daughter snort coke together and want your daughter to join them.

That wouldnt "faze" you? Really?
Snorting coke is a universe away from being a lesbian.
flan
Good God is that a dumb post. this has NOTHING to do with being a lesbian.
It primarily has to do with lying to another parent--do you want other parents lying to you about your child?

Secondarily ly it has to do with two teenagers who want to be sexually active in one parent's home. even IF you are ok with that, and even IF you don't like the comparison to drugs--what gives you the fvcking right to make decisions about sexual activity for SOMEONE ELSE'S child?
Who died and made you God? That is the height of arrogance.

You were the one comparing the two scenarios.

I don't want to be "God," tyvm, but I can think for myself.

flan

Tinydancer · Guru

Are you saying you would let these two teenagers sleep together or just that lieing to her parents is ok?

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Tinydancer wrote:
Are you saying you would let these two teenagers sleep together or just that lieing to her parents is ok?

I can only make decisions for MY children. I do know that teens mature at different rates.

flan

NAOW · Vette's SS

flan327 wrote:
The problem IS that we don't know if the GF's parents would accept her homosexuality or if it's just an example of teenage melodrama.

flan

Which is why if the OP is Ok with the girlfriend coming to stay she should tell her daughter it's not happening unless the other parents know the whole situation. Then they (daughter and her gf) can decide if they want to tell her parents or just skip it.

There is also the issue that teenagers lie. It could be that the gf's parents would be or are fine with their daughter being gay, but wouldn't let her spend the night (summer) with a girlfriend, so they are preying on OP's compassion and making up that bit about her parents 'killing her' so that OP will go along with the 'just friends' bit so gf can come stay.

Lexxy · My dog name is Sasha, too!

Yeah really bad idea & bad advice. If this was a boyfriend would mom be letting them shack up under her roof for the summer? Maybe she would but the other parents should also have a say in the arrangement.

And I am pretty sure the other girl's parents will not literally kill their daughter for being gay. They may shun her or they may already have a good idea & just giving her the space to find herself before coming out to them.

Tinydancer · Guru

That didn't really answer the question.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

flan327 wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
Are you saying you would let these two teenagers sleep together or just that lieing to her parents is ok?
I can only make decisions for MY children. I do know that teens mature at different rates.
flan

Yeah, YOUR child. But, you are making decisions for another parent and another parent's child to let her stay over when you KNOW what is going on. We used to call that "corruption of minors". And as a parent you expect that other parents will make good decisions.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

flan327 wrote:
The problem IS that we don't know if the GF's parents would accept her homosexuality or if it's just an example of teenage melodrama.

flan

It does not matter. If they don't want their teenager sleeping at their boyfriend/girlfriend's house, they should have the right to say NO. If this was a boy - would EITHER parent let them come stay? Probably NOT.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

flan327 wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
Are you saying you would let these two teenagers sleep together or just that lieing to her parents is ok?
I can only make decisions for MY children. I do know that teens mature at different rates.
flan

This would not be making decisions for just YOUR child. It involves ANOTHER child that has parents who have a right to know the REAL story about the living conditions they are sending their child to.

NAOW · Vette's SS

Lawyerlady wrote:
flan327 wrote:
The problem IS that we don't know if the GF's parents would accept her homosexuality or if it's just an example of teenage melodrama.

flan
It does not matter. If they don't want their teenager sleeping at their boyfriend/girlfriend's house, they should have the right to say NO. If this was a boy - would EITHER parent let them come stay? Probably NOT.

Yea, if it wasn't about being gay and instead it's that she's not allowed to date and her parent's would 'kill her' if they found out she had a gf, would it be ok then to have her over for the summer under the pretense that they are just friends?

huskerbb · Guru

flan327 wrote:
The problem IS that we don't know if the GF's parents would accept her homosexuality or if it's just an example of teenage melodrama.

flan

Again, irrelevant. If they don't want to "out" the teen, then fine--but that still doesn't give the LW license to deliberately deceive the other parent about the nature of this visit.

huskerbb · Guru

flan327 wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
flan327 wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Dona Worry Be Happy wrote:
They were friends when they parted, and they have only been gfs over the internet. There is zero chance of pregnancy, and both parents already agreed to the summer long visit, canceling now leads to a lot of awkward questions and hurt feeling all around, and as long as rules are in place and they are sleeping in separate rooms, I see very little downside to this arrangement.
I guess it wouldn't faze me at all.
So you would be fine with other parents lying to you? That's what you would be doing to them.

hey mom, I'm going to stay at cindis house--while cindis mom leaves out the part where she and her daughter snort coke together and want your daughter to join them.

That wouldnt "faze" you? Really?
Snorting coke is a universe away from being a lesbian.
flan
Good God is that a dumb post. this has NOTHING to do with being a lesbian.
It primarily has to do with lying to another parent--do you want other parents lying to you about your child?

Secondarily ly it has to do with two teenagers who want to be sexually active in one parent's home. even IF you are ok with that, and even IF you don't like the comparison to drugs--what gives you the fvcking right to make decisions about sexual activity for SOMEONE ELSE'S child?
Who died and made you God? That is the height of arrogance.
You were the one comparing the two scenarios.
I don't want to be "God," tyvm, but I can think for myself.
flan

BS. I wasn't comapring it to being a lesbian. I was comparing it to knowingly inviting sexually active teenagers to do so in your home without the knowledge of the other parent. Being a lesbian has NOTHING to do with that.

huskerbb · Guru

flan327 wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
Are you saying you would let these two teenagers sleep together or just that lieing to her parents is ok?
I can only make decisions for MY children. I do know that teens mature at different rates.
flan

That's not what you said a few posts earlier.