TOTALLY GEEKED!

huskerbb · Guru

RE: Mom doesn't want me drinking in their house

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

huskerbb wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
I'm not going to get into an argument with you.

Someone who can not go a day without alcohol is an addict.

And just because they aren't falling over drunk doesn't mean they have it under control.

Dissect that any way you wish.

Like I thought. Anyone who drinks more than you must be an alcoholic.

Why do you get to define "need" vs. "want"?

If someone WANTS a few beers every day, what's the difference?

You just define it as a "need" because you wouldn't make the same CHOICE.
Need vs want.

Want = take it or leave it. Will not have physical withdrawal if they go without.

Need = can't function without it. Physical withdrawal without it.

There is a huge difference between weekend warriors and alcoholics.

And there are HUGE differences between people who drink every day, too. Not nearly all of them are alcoholics like you seem to want to paint.

I never said someone who drinks everyday is an alcoholic.

huskerbb · Guru

I've seen alcoholics. I know many of them.

It affects their lives. It affects their jobs. It affects their relationships. It affects their behavior.

They put alcohol above everything else in their life.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Maybe it's you that doesn't understand want vs need.

huskerbb · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
I'm not going to get into an argument with you.

Someone who can not go a day without alcohol is an addict.

And just because they aren't falling over drunk doesn't mean they have it under control.

Dissect that any way you wish.

Like I thought. Anyone who drinks more than you must be an alcoholic.

Why do you get to define "need" vs. "want"?

If someone WANTS a few beers every day, what's the difference?

You just define it as a "need" because you wouldn't make the same CHOICE.
Need vs want.

Want = take it or leave it. Will not have physical withdrawal if they go without.

Need = can't function without it. Physical withdrawal without it.

There is a huge difference between weekend warriors and alcoholics.

And there are HUGE differences between people who drink every day, too. Not nearly all of them are alcoholics like you seem to want to paint.
I never said someone who drinks everyday is an alcoholic.

Yeah, you kind of did.

Why do you get to decide when someone drinks every day whether they are doing it because they want to--or because you perceive that they "need" to?

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

huskerbb wrote:
I've seen alcoholics. I know many of them.

It affects their lives. It affects their jobs. It affects their relationships. It affects their behavior.

They put alcohol above everything else in their life.

That's not a functioning alcoholic.

I've seen that.

They crave alcohol. They go to work, get degrees, raise families, never get the staggers or slurs. But they have to have alcohol.

If they can't get it by traditional means, they get it other ways. Medicine is one way.

Ever watch someone take shots of nyquil just to get through a day?

They ain't sick.

They just need the alcohol.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

huskerbb wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
I'm not going to get into an argument with you.

Someone who can not go a day without alcohol is an addict.

And just because they aren't falling over drunk doesn't mean they have it under control.

Dissect that any way you wish.

Like I thought. Anyone who drinks more than you must be an alcoholic.

Why do you get to define "need" vs. "want"?

If someone WANTS a few beers every day, what's the difference?

You just define it as a "need" because you wouldn't make the same CHOICE.
Need vs want.

Want = take it or leave it. Will not have physical withdrawal if they go without.

Need = can't function without it. Physical withdrawal without it.

There is a huge difference between weekend warriors and alcoholics.

And there are HUGE differences between people who drink every day, too. Not nearly all of them are alcoholics like you seem to want to paint.
I never said someone who drinks everyday is an alcoholic.

Yeah, you kind of did.
Why do you get to decide when someone drinks every day whether they are doing it because they want to--or because you perceive that they "need" to?

You don't grasp the concept of need to drink.

huskerbb · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
I've seen alcoholics. I know many of them.

It affects their lives. It affects their jobs. It affects their relationships. It affects their behavior.

They put alcohol above everything else in their life.
That's not a functioning alcoholic.
I've seen that.
They crave alcohol. They go to work, get degrees, raise families, never get the staggers or slurs. But they have to have alcohol.
If they can't get it by traditional means, they get it other ways. Medicine is one way.
Ever watch someone take shots of nyquil just to get through a day?
They ain't sick.
They just need the alcohol.

Yeah. I think the concept of "functioning" alcoholic is BS.

If their drinking isn't affecting any of those things--then who gives a crap how much they drink?

huskerbb · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
I'm not going to get into an argument with you.

Someone who can not go a day without alcohol is an addict.

And just because they aren't falling over drunk doesn't mean they have it under control.

Dissect that any way you wish.

Like I thought. Anyone who drinks more than you must be an alcoholic.

Why do you get to define "need" vs. "want"?

If someone WANTS a few beers every day, what's the difference?

You just define it as a "need" because you wouldn't make the same CHOICE.
Need vs want.

Want = take it or leave it. Will not have physical withdrawal if they go without.

Need = can't function without it. Physical withdrawal without it.

There is a huge difference between weekend warriors and alcoholics.

And there are HUGE differences between people who drink every day, too. Not nearly all of them are alcoholics like you seem to want to paint.
I never said someone who drinks everyday is an alcoholic.

Yeah, you kind of did.
Why do you get to decide when someone drinks every day whether they are doing it because they want to--or because you perceive that they "need" to?
You don't grasp the concept of need to drink.

Yeah, I do--but you don't get to define that.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Ok.

And I'm done.

Not going around in circles with you.

Have a great night.

huskerbb · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
Ok.

And I'm done.

Not going around in circles with you.

Have a great night.

You said that earlier. Didn't take.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

huskerbb wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
I've seen alcoholics. I know many of them.

It affects their lives. It affects their jobs. It affects their relationships. It affects their behavior.

They put alcohol above everything else in their life.
That's not a functioning alcoholic.
I've seen that.
They crave alcohol. They go to work, get degrees, raise families, never get the staggers or slurs. But they have to have alcohol.
If they can't get it by traditional means, they get it other ways. Medicine is one way.
Ever watch someone take shots of nyquil just to get through a day?
They ain't sick.
They just need the alcohol.
Yeah. I think the concept of "functioning" alcoholic is BS.
If their drinking isn't affecting any of those things--then who gives a crap how much they drink?

It does affect others. Just because they maintain a job and raise a family doesn't mean that family isn't suffering. They drink every night just enough to get obnoxious but not enough to cause them not to go to work the next day. Weekends are one long drunk fest.

huskerbb · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
I've seen alcoholics. I know many of them.

It affects their lives. It affects their jobs. It affects their relationships. It affects their behavior.

They put alcohol above everything else in their life.
That's not a functioning alcoholic.
I've seen that.
They crave alcohol. They go to work, get degrees, raise families, never get the staggers or slurs. But they have to have alcohol.
If they can't get it by traditional means, they get it other ways. Medicine is one way.
Ever watch someone take shots of nyquil just to get through a day?
They ain't sick.
They just need the alcohol.
Yeah. I think the concept of "functioning" alcoholic is BS.
If their drinking isn't affecting any of those things--then who gives a crap how much they drink?
It does affect others. Just because they maintain a job and raise a family doesn't mean that family isn't suffering. They drink every night just enough to get obnoxious but not enough to cause them not to go to work the next day. Weekends are one long drunk fest.

You must have missed the bolded.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

huskerbb wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
I've seen alcoholics. I know many of them.

It affects their lives. It affects their jobs. It affects their relationships. It affects their behavior.

They put alcohol above everything else in their life.
That's not a functioning alcoholic.
I've seen that.
They crave alcohol. They go to work, get degrees, raise families, never get the staggers or slurs. But they have to have alcohol.
If they can't get it by traditional means, they get it other ways. Medicine is one way.
Ever watch someone take shots of nyquil just to get through a day?
They ain't sick.
They just need the alcohol.
Yeah. I think the concept of "functioning" alcoholic is BS.
If their drinking isn't affecting any of those things--then who gives a crap how much they drink?
It does affect others. Just because they maintain a job and raise a family doesn't mean that family isn't suffering. They drink every night just enough to get obnoxious but not enough to cause them not to go to work the next day. Weekends are one long drunk fest.

You must have missed the bolded.

Then you don't understand the definition of "functioning alcoholic".

huskerbb · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
I've seen alcoholics. I know many of them.

It affects their lives. It affects their jobs. It affects their relationships. It affects their behavior.

They put alcohol above everything else in their life.
That's not a functioning alcoholic.
I've seen that.
They crave alcohol. They go to work, get degrees, raise families, never get the staggers or slurs. But they have to have alcohol.
If they can't get it by traditional means, they get it other ways. Medicine is one way.
Ever watch someone take shots of nyquil just to get through a day?
They ain't sick.
They just need the alcohol.
Yeah. I think the concept of "functioning" alcoholic is BS.
If their drinking isn't affecting any of those things--then who gives a crap how much they drink?
It does affect others. Just because they maintain a job and raise a family doesn't mean that family isn't suffering. They drink every night just enough to get obnoxious but not enough to cause them not to go to work the next day. Weekends are one long drunk fest.

You must have missed the bolded.
Then you don't understand the definition of "functioning alcoholic".

It's BS. If you are wrecking your relationships--then you aren't functioning.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

huskerbb wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
I've seen alcoholics. I know many of them.

It affects their lives. It affects their jobs. It affects their relationships. It affects their behavior.

They put alcohol above everything else in their life.
That's not a functioning alcoholic.
I've seen that.
They crave alcohol. They go to work, get degrees, raise families, never get the staggers or slurs. But they have to have alcohol.
If they can't get it by traditional means, they get it other ways. Medicine is one way.
Ever watch someone take shots of nyquil just to get through a day?
They ain't sick.
They just need the alcohol.
Yeah. I think the concept of "functioning" alcoholic is BS.
If their drinking isn't affecting any of those things--then who gives a crap how much they drink?
It does affect others. Just because they maintain a job and raise a family doesn't mean that family isn't suffering. They drink every night just enough to get obnoxious but not enough to cause them not to go to work the next day. Weekends are one long drunk fest.

You must have missed the bolded.
Then you don't understand the definition of "functioning alcoholic".
It's BS. If you are wrecking your relationships--then you aren't functioning.

Lots of sober people ruin relationships, too. What's their excuse? "Functioning" means able to get by - keep your job, pay your bills, not get your kids taken away by family services.

huskerbb · Guru

??? First of all, alcohol is NOT an "excuse" for ANYTHING.

Second, the fact that some sober people ruin their relationships is irrelevant--but they aren't doing so because of alcohol, apparently.

Third, you are an alcoholic, or you aren't. Putting the word "functioning" in front of it is useless and irrelevant. It's just a term some people want to use to try to minimize either their behavior, or that of someone they are trying to protect.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

huskerbb wrote:
??? First of all, alcohol is NOT an "excuse" for ANYTHING.

Second, the fact that some sober people ruin their relationships is irrelevant--but they aren't doing so because of alcohol, apparently.

Third, you are an alcoholic, or you aren't. Putting the word "functioning" in front of it is useless and irrelevant. It's just a term some people want to use to try to minimize either their behavior, or that of someone they are trying to protect.

It's not my definition. Take it up with the medical community. You seem to think they are always right.

huskerbb · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
??? First of all, alcohol is NOT an "excuse" for ANYTHING.

Second, the fact that some sober people ruin their relationships is irrelevant--but they aren't doing so because of alcohol, apparently.

Third, you are an alcoholic, or you aren't. Putting the word "functioning" in front of it is useless and irrelevant. It's just a term some people want to use to try to minimize either their behavior, or that of someone they are trying to protect.
It's not my definition. Take it up with the medical community. You seem to think they are always right.

I think their definition of alcoholic is stupid. Pretty much anyone who drinks all but a tiny amount of alcohol is considered an alcoholic by their definition.

weltschmerz · Guru

What are the recommended safe limits of alcohol?
•Men should drink no more than 21 units of alcohol per week, no more than four units in any one day, and have at least two alcohol-free days a week.
•Women should drink no more than 14 units of alcohol per week, no more than three units in any one day, and have at least two alcohol-free days a week.

http://patient.info/health/recommended-safe-limits-of-alcohol

If you need to drink every single day, then you have a problem.

huskerbb · Guru

weltschmerz wrote:
What are the recommended safe limits of alcohol?
•Men should drink no more than 21 units of alcohol per week, no more than four units in any one day, and have at least two alcohol-free days a week.
•Women should drink no more than 14 units of alcohol per week, no more than three units in any one day, and have at least two alcohol-free days a week.

http://patient.info/health/recommended-safe-limits-of-alcohol
If you need to drink every single day, then you have a problem.

Those are ridiculously low. Maybe not the 21, so much--but the 4 and 3.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Well.....

huskerbb · Guru

Also, again, how do you know someone "needs" it--or just wants to have a few drinks? Why do you think you get to decide?

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

If it is negatively affecting their lives and relationships then its a problem. If not then its not a problem. I know some teetotalers and also some who drink every day. And it seems to work fine for them.

huskerbb · Guru

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
If it is negatively affecting their lives and relationships then its a problem. If not then its not a problem. I know some teetotalers and also some who drink every day. And it seems to work fine for them.

Yeah.

weltschmerz · Guru

huskerbb wrote:
Also, again, how do you know someone "needs" it--or just wants to have a few drinks? Why do you think you get to decide?

If you drink every single day, you can lie to yourself that you don't really need it, and that you just want it.

The fact you can't go a day without drinking says otherwise.

WYSIWYG · Guru

Mom's house? Mom's Rules. Don't like them? Move the hell out.

I don't think "a glass of wine or two" over the course of an evening makes a person an alcoholic. What makes them an alcoholic is if they can't NOT have them. If you have them because you can afford them and like the taste, but could walk away from doing it without a thought, you aren't an alcoholic.

WYSIWYG · Guru

From WebMD (found on the second page after following this link): www.webmd.com/food-recipes/wine-how-much-is-good-for-you

Boost Your Brain

A recent study shows a boost in brain power for women who enjoy a little alcohol. The study, published in the Jan. 20 issue of The New England Journal of Medicine, evaluated more than 12,000 women aged 70-81. Moderate drinkers scored better than teetotalers on tests of mental function. Researchers found a boost in brainpower with one drink a day. Moderate drinkers had a 23% reduced risk of mental decline compared with nondrinkers.
With Alcohol, Moderation Is Key: Easy Does It

Just as you shouldn't eat a 12-ounce steak daily, you need to watch your portion sizes of alcohol as well.

What is one drink?

5 ounces of wine
12 ounces of beer
1.5 ounces of 80-proof distilled spirits, such as vodka

The 2005 Dietary Guidelines 2005 Dietary Guidelines recommend one drink a day for women and two a day for men. This doesn't mean to can save them up for a weekend party and expect to get the same benefits.

burns07 · Guru

The fact you can't go a day without drinking says otherwise.
______________________________________________

precisely--regards " functioning " alcoholics, they can pose a real danger to those around them(particularly in a hazardous work environment)as well as their family and loved ones--whether they'll admit it or not, their judgement is impaired, their reasoning is impaired, their fine muscle control/depth perception is impaired and they can pose a real threat to others if they drive a vehicle in such a state

" functioning " alcoholics are a danger to those around them, whether they'll admit it or not--if you want to drink yourself to death, fine, go right ahead but stay the hell away from me and my loved ones

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

The last person to realize they are an alcoholic is the alcoholic. And their version of what normal drinking is is really skewed.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lawyerlady wrote:
The last person to realize they are an alcoholic is the alcoholic. And their version of what normal drinking is is really skewed.

I love cliches!

flan

huskerbb · Guru

weltschmerz wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Also, again, how do you know someone "needs" it--or just wants to have a few drinks? Why do you think you get to decide?
If you drink every single day, you can lie to yourself that you don't really need it, and that you just want it.
The fact you can't go a day without drinking says otherwise.

Why do you get to dictate the difference between "can't" and "choose not to"?

huskerbb · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
The last person to realize they are an alcoholic is the alcoholic. And their version of what normal drinking is is really skewed.

Why do you get to define "normal"?

thats the trouble. The working definition of alcoholic on here is anyone who drinks more than you do.

Tinydancer · Guru

I think you protest too much.

huskerbb · Guru

Tinydancer wrote:
I think you protest too much.

Because I have seen alcoholics in action. I know what they are and what they do or do not do.

Tinydancer · Guru

So have I and the ones who drink EVERY day are alcoholics whether they admit it or not.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Tinydancer wrote:
So have I and the ones who drink EVERY day are alcoholics whether they admit it or not.

I don't agree with that. For some people that is simply a lifestyle choice. I don't drink that often because DH is a nondrinker, tea totaller. And, his dad was an alcoholic. But, that doesn't mean that there aren't people who can drink without issue.

Tinydancer · Guru

Sorry to disagree but if it's EVERY day you're an alcoholic. That's a general "you're" and not specific to anyone because I don't personally know how much any one drinks.

huskerbb · Guru

Tinydancer wrote:
Sorry to disagree but if it's EVERY day you're an alcoholic. That's a general "you're" and not specific to anyone because I don't personally know how much any one drinks.

You are wrong.

huskerbb · Guru

Tinydancer wrote:
So have I and the ones who drink EVERY day are alcoholics whether they admit it or not.

Then your experience is very limited.

I knnow alcoholics that drink every day, and I know people that drink every day that are not alcoholics.

I know some alcoholics that only drink occasionally.

frequency is not the defining factor. It CAN be one factor, but it is far from the only one and by itself is not defining.

huskerbb · Guru

I know a guy and his wife who like to have 3 or 4 beers each night after work. I know a TON of people who have a glass of wine with dinner--NONE of those are alcoholics.

I also know people who buy a 30 pack of Busch Light EVERY DAY and drink it. Yeah, they are alcoholics. There is a HUGE difference in those spectrums.

huskerbb · Guru

I worked with one guy who I had to call back in after work one day. He was already falling down drunk and he'd only been off for an hour and only drinks beer.

I'm not against getting drunk--but that's a HELL of a lot of beer in only an hour, plus he had to drive home and stop and get his beer.

Tinydancer · Guru

I think you protest too much as I've said before. It seems you're trying to justify...

huskerbb · Guru

Tinydancer wrote:
I think you protest too much as I've said before. It seems you're trying to justify...

Justify what? The fact that you are dead wrong? Apparently I need to.

You are just wrong, especially if you can't discern the HUGE difference between someone who has a few beers after work or has a glass of wine with dinner and someone who puts down a 30 pack every day.

Frequency isnt the the only factor. It's probably not even the biggest or most important one. Amount plays a huge role. Behavior while you are drinking plays a big role. How you interact with others when drinking is a big factor.

-- Edited by huskerbb on Friday 8th of January 2016 10:26:14 AM

-- Edited by huskerbb on Friday 8th of January 2016 10:27:03 AM

Tinydancer · Guru

It's my opinion and just because you keep saying I'm wrong doesn't make it so. You are not the only one familiar with alcoholics and your opinion is no better than mine.

huskerbb · Guru

Tinydancer wrote:
It's my opinion and just because you keep saying I'm wrong doesn't make it so. You are not the only one familiar with alcoholics and your opinion is no better than mine.

I'm not the only one--but you apparently are not if you can't tell the difference in those scenarios.

people hold factually wrong opinions all the time. You are factually wrong here.

-- Edited by huskerbb on Friday 8th of January 2016 10:32:18 AM

Tinydancer · Guru

Others agree with me so why are the ones who agree with you right? I think you try way too hard to make out you don't drink too much. Good luck with that because it just makes you look like a drunk.

msrock · Guru

weltschmerz wrote:
What are the recommended safe limits of alcohol?
•Men should drink no more than 21 units of alcohol per week, no more than four units in any one day, and have at least two alcohol-free days a week.
•Women should drink no more than 14 units of alcohol per week, no more than three units in any one day, and have at least two alcohol-free days a week.

http://patient.info/health/recommended-safe-limits-of-alcohol
If you need to drink every single day, then you have a problem.

The good news is, I have at least three alcohol-free days a week. Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. So I guess I'm not an alcoholic. lol! biggrin

Tinydancer · Guru

I am not a teetotaler in any way. I enjoy my wine on the weekends. If I found myself drinking every day I'd seek help.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

flan327 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
The last person to realize they are an alcoholic is the alcoholic. And their version of what normal drinking is is really skewed.
I love cliches!
flan

Cliches are cliches for a reason.