DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I don't wish to have biological children, and we are not currently interested in discussing adoption.
A few months ago, he started a job that pays much more than his previous one. We are financially comfortable (not wealthy) enough that he suggested my quitting my previous job, which I hated and was underpaid for. I now have time to volunteer at an animal shelter, do shopping and errands for an elderly relative, take two classes at a community college, as well as care for our home.
Lately, when I see people we know, they often want me to explain what I "do all day" since we have no children and I am not working outside the home. This is usually followed by questions about how much time and effort each activity involves, as if I need to prove that I am not lying on a couch and watching television.
A couple of people have also asked me to baby-sit after I previously made plans with relatives or friends, assuming that I cannot possibly be busy with anything important. They expect me to be able to cancel my plans, since whatever I am doing is not a job and I am not a mother.
What is the best way to tell people that I do not think my schedule is their business?
GENTLE READER: While you have legitimate gripes about the people who are asking what you do all day, Miss Manners detects in your tone a pre-emptive fatigue. You do not need to volunteer any unnecessary information, nor justify any appointments you made. If friends are actually asking you to cancel plans, then you may say, "I'm sorry, but my schedule is confirmed." However, be careful that you do not project your frustrations on those innocently asking about your availability.
Seriously though...what DOES she do all day?! The stuff she listed wouldn't take up a morning let alone a week. I don't begrudge her the opportunity to do it...I just honestly wonder how she is filling her days!
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Out of all the lies I have told, "just kidding" is my favorite !
Seriously though...what DOES she do all day?! The stuff she listed wouldn't take up a morning let alone a week. I don't begrudge her the opportunity to do it...I just honestly wonder how she is filling her days!
Just because people ask doesn't mean she has to answer. She could just say I keep myself busy and change the subject. As far as people expecting her to cancel her plans for them a simple "no I have plans already". If they continued I'd come right out and tell them they don't get to make my plans for me.
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“Until I discovered cooking, I was never really interested in anything.” ― Julia Child ―
Seriously though...what DOES she do all day?! The stuff she listed wouldn't take up a morning let alone a week. I don't begrudge her the opportunity to do it...I just honestly wonder how she is filling her days!
Huh? Why does she have to explain that to anyone?
She totally doesn't. I am just curious.
She doesnt have to answer anything she doesn't want to. I am just personally curious. I would never ask her if I knew her, but I would wonder!!!
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Out of all the lies I have told, "just kidding" is my favorite !
When I am off for 2 days or more I start to get antsy. I don't know how people do it. I don't think I will ever "retire" - I will do something until I physically can't.
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Out of all the lies I have told, "just kidding" is my favorite !
When I am off for 2 days or more I start to get antsy. I don't know how people do it. I don't think I will ever "retire" - I will do something until I physically can't.
Well LW was filling her time doing things for other people, things she wanted to do. She was on the go or doing things around her home. It reminds me of the times I do work at home and people think that since I am home I have the time for them to stop over or ask me for rides or such.
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Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.
Seriously though...what DOES she do all day?! The stuff she listed wouldn't take up a morning let alone a week. I don't begrudge her the opportunity to do it...I just honestly wonder how she is filling her days!
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I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.
Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.
There is PLENTY to do just at home. I have been in the work force for a long time. I could happily find plenty to do with my time from cooking, cleaning, hobbies, coaching, volunteering, etc.
"What do I do all day? Gosh. As soon as the hubs leaves the neighbor comes over and we "role play" for a while, then I take a nap, shower, and then shop online and play games till the hubs gets home and he fixes supper. My days are full."
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
"What do I do all day? Gosh. As soon as the hubs leaves the neighbor comes over and we "role play" for a while, then I take a nap, shower, and then shop online and play games till the hubs gets home and he fixes supper. My days are full."
"I keep myself occupied" and "no, sorry, plans" is all she needs as far as responses go.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
There is PLENTY to do just at home. I have been in the work force for a long time. I could happily find plenty to do with my time from cooking, cleaning, hobbies, coaching, volunteering, etc.
This. I can't wait to retire, there is way too much to do to ever get bored!!
Everyone I know who is retired keep themselves plenty busy. They often wonder how they got anything done when they had jobs. I think the more time we have, the more we find to do.
I could easily fill my days staying home alone. I would love to volunteer at different places, cook elaborate meals, have a pristine home. And when I'm not doing that, I would read, take some classes, etc. Exactly like she is doing. People are just jealous.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
