DEAR ABBY: My husband has been in prison for three and a half years, but now he's moving to a halfway house where he will have much more freedom. He wants to attend my church with me, and I know people there will have questions. Only a few of them know where he has been because I shared it with them. What's the best way to make this comfortable for both of us and share it as we need to? -- FREE AT LAST
DEAR FREE AT LAST: That your husband would like to attend church with you is laudable, and I hope his entry into the congregation will be a smooth one. I have often said that once a "secret" is known by more than one person, it is no longer a secret. Discuss this with your clergyperson and let him or her guide you in the process. If you do, it may help to avoid any rough spots along the way.
Sorry, but it does make a HUGE difference what he was in jail FOR as to how accepting society, not only your church but friends, potential employers, neighbors, etc...--will be.
If he was in for child p*rn, sexual assault, or something like that--it's going to be a rough transition.
If he was in for, say, simple assault from a bar fight or a white collar crime like tax fraud--it will be easier.
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I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.
Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.
Well. If the church follows the Bible, they will welcome him.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
Well. If the church follows the Bible, they will welcome him.
I'm sorry, this statement struck me so funny.
I think it is the congregation that LW is concerned with, not the ideals of the church.
I think what lily means is in the Bible the Church is the believers and yes they should welcome him. If he was in prison or child abuse etc.. They wouldn't (nor should they) have him near children but should welcome him into the body.
Well. If the church follows the Bible, they will welcome him.
I'm sorry, this statement struck me so funny.
I think it is the congregation that LW is concerned with, not the ideals of the church.
I think what lily means is in the Bible the Church is the believers and yes they should welcome him. If he was in prison or child abuse etc.. They wouldn't (nor should they) have him near children but should welcome him into the body.
People are still leary of someone who spent time in jail as they should. But perhaps the LW is more concerned about her reputation.
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Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.
My late uncle, RIP, did time for armed burglary. He broke into a commercial building through the roof to steal, from what I've understood. He was always a religious person, but found his calling while incarcerated. He became a minister and ultimately a pastor before his death a couple years ago. His congregation loved him. He, along with my aunt, stayed with me a week one year, and with DH & I on another trip out. I never once worried about my belongings. My grandfather, on the other hand, never trusted him.
I don't know whether his congregation ever knew his little secret. I do know he changed churches a time or two, but because of a scandal (of which he was NOT involved) where a pastor failed to discourage a teen from committing suicide. He did not feel he could be a member of a church that did that.
At his funeral was a slideshow of various pictures of him throughout his life. It was wonderful, and I think I will ask my aunt if she can send me a copy. Anyway, I do remember the show included photos of my uncle sitting under a tree or at a table in a "yard" with his bible, preaching to other men. My mom said that was taken in prison (she took her sister to visit him while he was incarcerated).
The LW should bring her DH to church if he wants, hold their heads high, and not worry about what others might think or say.
My late uncle, RIP, did time for armed burglary. He broke into a commercial building through the roof to steal, from what I've understood. He was always a religious person, but found his calling while incarcerated. He became a minister and ultimately a pastor before his death a couple years ago. His congregation loved him. He, along with my aunt, stayed with me a week one year, and with DH & I on another trip out. I never once worried about my belongings. My grandfather, on the other hand, never trusted him.
I don't know whether his congregation ever knew his little secret. I do know he changed churches a time or two, but because of a scandal (of which he was NOT involved) where a pastor failed to discourage a teen from committing suicide. He did not feel he could be a member of a church that did that.
At his funeral was a slideshow of various pictures of him throughout his life. It was wonderful, and I think I will ask my aunt if she can send me a copy. Anyway, I do remember the show included photos of my uncle sitting under a tree or at a table in a "yard" with his bible, preaching to other men. My mom said that was taken in prison (she took her sister to visit him while he was incarcerated).
The LW should bring her DH to church if he wants, hold their heads high, and not worry about what others might think or say.
What a great life turnaround story. I bet your uncle impacted a lot of lives with his life change. Apostle Paul was a murderer before he accepted Christ and at first his fellow Christians didn't trust him.
Sometimes some of the most strongest Christians are those who were the toughest criminals.
Eta: Thank you for sharing fnw, this story touched my heart.
-- Edited by Lindley on Monday 11th of January 2016 10:17:44 AM
I think people forget that we, Christians, are supposed to bring the lost into the church. That's where they hear the message of God.
Too many, and this is just my opinion, see church as more of a social club. Only those who are like them can come.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
If it is a church following god's principle's it will welcome him.
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“You may shoot me with your words, you may cut me with your eyes, you may kill me with your hatefulness, but still, like air, I'll rise!” ― Maya Angelou