TOTALLY GEEKED!

chef · Guru

RE: Dear Abby - Heartbroken 4 year old

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

Oh good. 10 pages. I was beginning to think we didn't have it in us.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

This thread is epic!!!

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

Honestly. It's NEVER the threads you think it will be that go epic. It's always the sneaky ones.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Well, it doesn't take much to rattle husker either.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Mellow Momma wrote:
Oh good. 10 pages. I was beginning to think we didn't have it in us.

Oh, ye of little faith...

evileye

flan

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Well, it doesn't take much to rattle husker either.

Sometimes it's just too easy.

flan

huskerbb · Guru

chef wrote:
Protecting a child from being mistreated in THIS scenario is acceptable. Had the SIL called and explained the change in plans, I'd have a different opinion. But she didn't. She let the child continue thinking she was going to be in the wedding and let her excitement continue to build. I'm guessing had the child's mom not called to ask about dress fitting, that the wedding day would've arrived and the child would've been completely blindsided by seeing some other child in her role.

Pick some other way to teach the lesson you want here. Skipping a wedding means you are going to alienate a lot more than the offending party. You will ruin relationships between siblings, grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Weddings are not the end-all be-all of life. Sometimes skipping a wedding is warranted, and this is one of those times.

huskerbb · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
Weddings are not the end-all be-all of life. Sometimes skipping a wedding is warranted, and this is one of those times.

No, it's not.

In close families, they are important events.

-- Edited by huskerbb on Tuesday 19th of January 2016 09:34:42 AM

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

And if skipping a wedding when there is a reason such as this ruins the relationship with the entire family - it was a crappy family to begin with.

huskerbb · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
And if skipping a wedding when there is a reason such as this ruins the relationship with the entire family - it was a crappy family to begin with.

Because you choose to make it so.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Husker - this has gotten moronic. You completely ignore and excuse the behavior that caused this mess. That is why you are not the least bit persuasive.

huskerbb · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
Husker - this has gotten moronic. You completely ignore and excuse the behavior that caused this mess. That is why you are not the least bit persuasive.

Because it's not the huge tragedy like you make it out to be. You act like the whim of some 4 year old is a life or death situation.

its a MINOR thing.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

huskerbb wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Husker - this has gotten moronic. You completely ignore and excuse the behavior that caused this mess. That is why you are not the least bit persuasive.
Because it's not the huge tragedy like you make it out to be. You act like the whim of some 4 year old is a life or death situation.

its a MINOR thing.

And most of the people here disagree with you. And the child's mother disagrees with you. So, regardless of whether you think it is a minor thing, others do not.

huskerbb · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Husker - this has gotten moronic. You completely ignore and excuse the behavior that caused this mess. That is why you are not the least bit persuasive.
Because it's not the huge tragedy like you make it out to be. You act like the whim of some 4 year old is a life or death situation.

its a MINOR thing.
And most of the people here disagree with you. And the child's mother disagrees with you. So, regardless of whether you think it is a minor thing, others do not.

again, people who think a 4 year olds tantrum is an acceptable basis upon which to make life altering decisions--which is ludicrous.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

huskerbb wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Husker - this has gotten moronic. You completely ignore and excuse the behavior that caused this mess. That is why you are not the least bit persuasive.
Because it's not the huge tragedy like you make it out to be. You act like the whim of some 4 year old is a life or death situation.

its a MINOR thing.
And most of the people here disagree with you. And the child's mother disagrees with you. So, regardless of whether you think it is a minor thing, others do not.
again, people who think a 4 year olds tantrum is an acceptable basis upon which to make life altering decisions--which is ludicrous.

SHE WAS LIED TO.

BY AN ADULT FAMILY MEMBER.

PERIOD.

flan

huskerbb · Guru

flan327 wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Husker - this has gotten moronic. You completely ignore and excuse the behavior that caused this mess. That is why you are not the least bit persuasive.
Because it's not the huge tragedy like you make it out to be. You act like the whim of some 4 year old is a life or death situation.

its a MINOR thing.
And most of the people here disagree with you. And the child's mother disagrees with you. So, regardless of whether you think it is a minor thing, others do not.
again, people who think a 4 year olds tantrum is an acceptable basis upon which to make life altering decisions--which is ludicrous.
SHE WAS LIED TO.
BY AN ADULT FAMILY MEMBER.
PERIOD.
flan

YEAH

I

KNOW

THAT SUCKS

MOVE ON

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

A 4-year-old does NOT yet have the life skills...oh, yeah, and it's her PARENT'S choice to protect her.

flan

huskerbb · Guru

flan327 wrote:
A 4-year-old does NOT yet have the life skills...oh, yeah, and it's her PARENT'S choice to protect her.

flan

That's why you use this opportunity to teach.

Whats she get to do when her kindergarten teacher makes her upset? Quit school?

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Some of you don't seem to understand that your approach is making the kid feel WORSE. So, not sure what you think you are accomplishing if it is all about her feelings? Seems that being "right" is more important than the kid's feelings.

just Czech · Give Me Grand's!

I have to agree with husker. The subject has moved into the realm of moronic.

Yes, the 4 year old was treated badly. Yes, MIL and BTB SHOULD apologize. Yes, dad should make his mother and the BTB aware of their infraction. But good grief, teach the kid to move on when family behaves badly. Otherwise she will through a fit every time her big brother picks on her and makes her feel bad.

Feelings need to be dealt with, not a control issue.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

just Czech wrote:
I have to agree with husker. The subject has moved into the realm of moronic.

Yes, the 4 year old was treated badly. Yes, MIL and BTB SHOULD apologize. Yes, dad should make his mother and the BTB aware of their infraction. But good grief, teach the kid to move on when family behaves badly. Otherwise she will through a fit every time her big brother picks on her and makes her feel bad.

Feelings need to be dealt with, not a control issue.

The four year old is not the one that needs to learn a lesson here. She didn't do anything wrong.

just Czech · Give Me Grand's!

Lawyerlady wrote:
just Czech wrote:
I have to agree with husker. The subject has moved into the realm of moronic.

Yes, the 4 year old was treated badly. Yes, MIL and BTB SHOULD apologize. Yes, dad should make his mother and the BTB aware of their infraction. But good grief, teach the kid to move on when family behaves badly. Otherwise she will through a fit every time her big brother picks on her and makes her feel bad.

Feelings need to be dealt with, not a control issue.
The four year old is not the one that needs to learn a lesson here. She didn't do anything wrong.

No, she didn't do anything wrong, but she sure is learning from her mom how to behave with we have feelings.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

just Czech wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
just Czech wrote:
I have to agree with husker. The subject has moved into the realm of moronic.

Yes, the 4 year old was treated badly. Yes, MIL and BTB SHOULD apologize. Yes, dad should make his mother and the BTB aware of their infraction. But good grief, teach the kid to move on when family behaves badly. Otherwise she will through a fit every time her big brother picks on her and makes her feel bad.

Feelings need to be dealt with, not a control issue.
The four year old is not the one that needs to learn a lesson here. She didn't do anything wrong.
No, she didn't do anything wrong, but she sure is learning from her mom how to behave with we have feelings.

She is learning that no one should treat her that way, even family. I don't raise my children to be doormats. And there is NOTHING wrong with politely declining an invitation.

just Czech · Give Me Grand's!

Lawyerlady wrote:
just Czech wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
just Czech wrote:
I have to agree with husker. The subject has moved into the realm of moronic.

Yes, the 4 year old was treated badly. Yes, MIL and BTB SHOULD apologize. Yes, dad should make his mother and the BTB aware of their infraction. But good grief, teach the kid to move on when family behaves badly. Otherwise she will through a fit every time her big brother picks on her and makes her feel bad.

Feelings need to be dealt with, not a control issue.
The four year old is not the one that needs to learn a lesson here. She didn't do anything wrong.
No, she didn't do anything wrong, but she sure is learning from her mom how to behave with we have feelings.
She is learning that no one should treat her that way, even family. I don't raise my children to be doormats. And there is NOTHING wrong with politely declining an invitation.

So decline if it is such an issue for YOU. But don't make it about YOUR feelings, which overall, it is.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

just Czech wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
just Czech wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
just Czech wrote:
I have to agree with husker. The subject has moved into the realm of moronic.

Yes, the 4 year old was treated badly. Yes, MIL and BTB SHOULD apologize. Yes, dad should make his mother and the BTB aware of their infraction. But good grief, teach the kid to move on when family behaves badly. Otherwise she will through a fit every time her big brother picks on her and makes her feel bad.

Feelings need to be dealt with, not a control issue.
The four year old is not the one that needs to learn a lesson here. She didn't do anything wrong.
No, she didn't do anything wrong, but she sure is learning from her mom how to behave with we have feelings.
She is learning that no one should treat her that way, even family. I don't raise my children to be doormats. And there is NOTHING wrong with politely declining an invitation.
So decline if it is such an issue for YOU. But don't make it about YOUR feelings, which overall, it is.

My feelings that family shouldn't treat my child that way? Yes, I will, tyvm.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

huskerbb wrote:
flan327 wrote:
A 4-year-old does NOT yet have the life skills...oh, yeah, and it's her PARENT'S choice to protect her.

flan
That's why you use this opportunity to teach.
Whats she get to do when her kindergarten teacher makes her upset? Quit school?

Did her kindergarten teacher LIE to her?

flan

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Some of you don't seem to understand that your approach is making the kid feel WORSE. So, not sure what you think you are accomplishing if it is all about her feelings? Seems that being "right" is more important than the kid's feelings.

And what are you accomplishing by denying her feelings? We actually don't KNOW what the parents say when the child brings up the subject.

flan

just Czech · Give Me Grand's!

flan327 wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
flan327 wrote:
A 4-year-old does NOT yet have the life skills...oh, yeah, and it's her PARENT'S choice to protect her.

flan
That's why you use this opportunity to teach.
Whats she get to do when her kindergarten teacher makes her upset? Quit school?
Did her kindergarten teacher LIE to her?
flan

Gosh, flan, I have known kindergarten teachers to lie to the kids. It happens.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

just Czech wrote:
flan327 wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
flan327 wrote:
A 4-year-old does NOT yet have the life skills...oh, yeah, and it's her PARENT'S choice to protect her.

flan
That's why you use this opportunity to teach.
Whats she get to do when her kindergarten teacher makes her upset? Quit school?
Did her kindergarten teacher LIE to her?
flan
Gosh, flan, I have known kindergarten teachers to lie to the kids. It happens.

I'd need to know the circumstances. Heck, DS2's freshman biology teacher lied to him and us. We went to the principal.

flan

Riding · Guru

huskerbb wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Husker - this has gotten moronic. You completely ignore and excuse the behavior that caused this mess. That is why you are not the least bit persuasive.
Because it's not the huge tragedy like you make it out to be. You act like the whim of some 4 year old is a life or death situation.

its a MINOR thing.

Perhaps in your world or family, but not in all families. That is pretty crystal clear from comments in this thread.

so I generally reserve *judgment* and truly not judging, just can't find a better word. but I am thinking perhaps you do like to argue to hear yourself talk. And I really don't understand. Not that I need too. but.....

Riding · Guru

and I do not have a Chihuahua in this race

just sitting here watching us all go round and round, and saying the same thing. surely we don't expect to change anyone's minds?? so we all just go our merry way back to ummm food or....heck even politics LOL

huskerbb · Guru

Riding wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Husker - this has gotten moronic. You completely ignore and excuse the behavior that caused this mess. That is why you are not the least bit persuasive.
Because it's not the huge tragedy like you make it out to be. You act like the whim of some 4 year old is a life or death situation.

its a MINOR thing.
Perhaps in your world or family, but not in all families. That is pretty crystal clear from comments in this thread.
so I generally reserve *judgment* and truly not judging, just can't find a better word. but I am thinking perhaps you do like to argue to hear yourself talk. And I really don't understand. Not that I need too. but.....

Because some families thrive on nonsense and contrived drama, I suppose.

Riding · Guru

perhaps and yes I know a few

...but I mean here on the board.

we are obviously never all going to agree, nor should we have too. but I don't think any of us are going to convince everyone our thoughts/version/beliefs are the *right* ones.

that's more what I meant

chef · Guru

huskerbb wrote:
chef wrote:
Protecting a child from being mistreated in THIS scenario is acceptable. Had the SIL called and explained the change in plans, I'd have a different opinion. But she didn't. She let the child continue thinking she was going to be in the wedding and let her excitement continue to build. I'm guessing had the child's mom not called to ask about dress fitting, that the wedding day would've arrived and the child would've been completely blindsided by seeing some other child in her role.
Pick some other way to teach the lesson you want here. Skipping a wedding means you are going to alienate a lot more than the offending party. You will ruin relationships between siblings, grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles.

I didn't say anything about skipping the wedding. I, personally, wouldn't because I prefer to teach my child that sometimes it's better to be the bigger person. I would not invalidate my child's feelings and I would not force my child to attend the wedding. I would, however, encourage my child to be gracious in spite of being hurt. Yes, I would be pissed at the SIL. Yes, she and I would have a chat about her actions. But, I believe I can both validate my child's feelings and still teach whatever lesson I wish to teach my child.

My SIL refuses to even acknowledge my child and I still maintain a relationship with her. Her behavior, imo, is ruder behavior than asking my child to participate in an event then reneging without telling my child. I maintain a relationship with my SIL because I refuse to be the one responsible for any strife within the family. If she wants to be the proverbial black sheep, she can. I'd rather live my life knowing I at least tried.

Fort Worth Mom · Mod/Penguin lover/Princess!

chef wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
chef wrote:
Protecting a child from being mistreated in THIS scenario is acceptable. Had the SIL called and explained the change in plans, I'd have a different opinion. But she didn't. She let the child continue thinking she was going to be in the wedding and let her excitement continue to build. I'm guessing had the child's mom not called to ask about dress fitting, that the wedding day would've arrived and the child would've been completely blindsided by seeing some other child in her role.
Pick some other way to teach the lesson you want here. Skipping a wedding means you are going to alienate a lot more than the offending party. You will ruin relationships between siblings, grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles.
I didn't say anything about skipping the wedding. I, personally, wouldn't because I prefer to teach my child that sometimes it's better to be the bigger person. I would not invalidate my child's feelings and I would not force my child to attend the wedding. I would, however, encourage my child to be gracious in spite of being hurt. Yes, I would be pissed at the SIL. Yes, she and I would have a chat about her actions. But, I believe I can both validate my child's feelings and still teach whatever lesson I wish to teach my child.
My SIL refuses to even acknowledge my child and I still maintain a relationship with her. Her behavior, imo, is ruder behavior than asking my child to participate in an event then reneging without telling my child. I maintain a relationship with my SIL because I refuse to be the one responsible for any strife within the family. If she wants to be the proverbial black sheep, she can. I'd rather live my life knowing I at least tried.

Okay, I haven't said much of anything, on this thread.

But, now, I'm curious.

What is going on, that your SIL refuses to even acknowledge your child?

Do you mean, she won't even say "hi" to him?

What the heck? confuse

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

Not sure about chef, but my SIL is the same way. It's DH's brother's wife. Since she started dating him, she has never once spoken to our kids. Never says hello to them, never acknowledges them in any way. Once they married and she became their first aunt, same thing. It was heartbreaking. She has known them now for over 12 years and she has yet to say a word to them. She flat out ignores them at family functions. At one time I chalked it up to her not being comfortable around children. But they outgrew that excuse long ago. She is just an idiot. And if chef's relative is anything like mine...I feel horrible for her, but it's the SIL's loss. Not chef's and not her sweet baby boy's.

chef · Guru

Fort Worth Mom wrote:
chef wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
chef wrote:
Protecting a child from being mistreated in THIS scenario is acceptable. Had the SIL called and explained the change in plans, I'd have a different opinion. But she didn't. She let the child continue thinking she was going to be in the wedding and let her excitement continue to build. I'm guessing had the child's mom not called to ask about dress fitting, that the wedding day would've arrived and the child would've been completely blindsided by seeing some other child in her role.
Pick some other way to teach the lesson you want here. Skipping a wedding means you are going to alienate a lot more than the offending party. You will ruin relationships between siblings, grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles.
I didn't say anything about skipping the wedding. I, personally, wouldn't because I prefer to teach my child that sometimes it's better to be the bigger person. I would not invalidate my child's feelings and I would not force my child to attend the wedding. I would, however, encourage my child to be gracious in spite of being hurt. Yes, I would be pissed at the SIL. Yes, she and I would have a chat about her actions. But, I believe I can both validate my child's feelings and still teach whatever lesson I wish to teach my child.
My SIL refuses to even acknowledge my child and I still maintain a relationship with her. Her behavior, imo, is ruder behavior than asking my child to participate in an event then reneging without telling my child. I maintain a relationship with my SIL because I refuse to be the one responsible for any strife within the family. If she wants to be the proverbial black sheep, she can. I'd rather live my life knowing I at least tried.
Okay, I haven't said much of anything, on this thread.
But, now, I'm curious.
What is going on, that your SIL refuses to even acknowledge your child?
Do you mean, she won't even say "hi" to him?
What the heck?

She is jealous that DH and I had a kid before her and BIL had a kid. Her and BIL got married first so she thought they'd have a kid first. When she found out I was pregnant, she was fairly forthcoming in saying that it's not fair that I got pregnant so quickly after getting married. She had a whole lot to say and it boiled down to jealousy. I told her we weren't even trying and all she said was that it wasn't fair.

And, yes, correct. She won't say hi to him. She won't hold him. She doesn't interact with him. Her and BIL do send him presents for his Christmas and birthday so there's that but she has no inclination to actually have a relationship with him. Frankly, BIL doesn't either. But, at least BIL will interact with him. They live in Washington now so it's a non-issue. She unfriended me on FB awhile back because DH pissed her off so guilt by association I guess. But, I do interact with her via BIL's page here and there.

It bothers DH more than it bothers me. I figure it's her loss and I'm not going to lose sleep over it. I don't play petty childish passive aggressive games. I also won't apologize for having a child. Never mind that DH's and my reproduction choices are none of her business.

chef · Guru

Mellow Momma wrote:
Not sure about chef, but my SIL is the same way. It's DH's brother's wife. Since she started dating him, she has never once spoken to our kids. Never says hello to them, never acknowledges them in any way. Once they married and she became their first aunt, same thing. It was heartbreaking. She has known them now for over 12 years and she has yet to say a word to them. She flat out ignores them at family functions. At one time I chalked it up to her not being comfortable around children. But they outgrew that excuse long ago. She is just an idiot. And if chef's relative is anything like mine...I feel horrible for her, but it's the SIL's loss. Not chef's and not her sweet baby boy's.

Pretty much.

DS will likely never meet her. He may ask why he has pics with his uncle but none with his aunt. I don't know what we will tell him.

It's your SIL's loss. From what you've posted here, your kids have grown into successful adults. That's awesome. Your SIL would be privileged to know them.

Lindley · Guru

chef wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
chef wrote:
Protecting a child from being mistreated in THIS scenario is acceptable. Had the SIL called and explained the change in plans, I'd have a different opinion. But she didn't. She let the child continue thinking she was going to be in the wedding and let her excitement continue to build. I'm guessing had the child's mom not called to ask about dress fitting, that the wedding day would've arrived and the child would've been completely blindsided by seeing some other child in her role.
Pick some other way to teach the lesson you want here. Skipping a wedding means you are going to alienate a lot more than the offending party. You will ruin relationships between siblings, grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles.
I didn't say anything about skipping the wedding. I, personally, wouldn't because I prefer to teach my child that sometimes it's better to be the bigger person. I would not invalidate my child's feelings and I would not force my child to attend the wedding. I would, however, encourage my child to be gracious in spite of being hurt. Yes, I would be pissed at the SIL. Yes, she and I would have a chat about her actions. But, I believe I can both validate my child's feelings and still teach whatever lesson I wish to teach my child.
My SIL refuses to even acknowledge my child and I still maintain a relationship with her. Her behavior, imo, is ruder behavior than asking my child to participate in an event then reneging without telling my child. I maintain a relationship with my SIL because I refuse to be the one responsible for any strife within the family. If she wants to be the proverbial black sheep, she can. I'd rather live my life knowing I at least tried.

Chef, I'm sorry your sil is so immature. I agree with MM, It is her loss for ignoring your sweet little man. I would say the same for mm's sil. Her loss not thiers.

chef · Guru

Maybe she'll come around in time. Who knows? I won't hold my breath.

When DS was born, FIL was so pissed that we changed the family middle name that he didn't make an effort to bond with DS beyond the bare minimum. I don't know what happened but now FIL has really bonded with DS and delights in showing him new things and teaching him stuff. FIL has changed for the better over the almost three years DH and I have been married. I'm ecstatic that FIL saw the light and has bonded with his grandson before DS got old enough to wonder why his grandpa doesn't love him like his grandma does.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

I'm sorry, chef & MM.

And THIS is why I choose to work with kids rather than adults!

flan

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

My SIL almost goes out of her way to ignore my kids. When DD was young, she would walk up to her and show her something and SIL wouldn't even respond. My BIL would have to jump in. He is such a fun guy and she is such a clod. I don't understand how this marriage works but it isn't my problem. I do know that any relationship that she could have had with them is off the table now.

Oh...there was a wedding slight as well. When their uncle got married, DD's were 14 and 8. They were hoping to be able to do something in the wedding - hand out programs, pass out the bubbles at the end, anything. She didn't ask them to help out at all. It was a big disappointment to them but we talked about it and the girls got over it. The day of the wedding comes and she had her 2 cousins in the wedding and her next door neighbors passing out programs. No biggie - but DD's felt a little bad about it. They were treated like virtual strangers at the wedding. Again, we never told anyone they felt bad for not being included somehow. We just discussed it at home as a family and they got over it quickly. No tantrums.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

I had a child free wedding except for my DH's twin nieces b/c they were the only grandkids. They were about 6. However, we did not have any flower girls or anything. It was an evening candlelight wedding. We got married in a bed and breakfast called "The Castle" and my SIL didn't say anything to me about them not being in the wedding, but when they showed up - all THREE of them showed up in matching formal rennaissance dresses to the wedding.

huskerbb · Guru

Mellow Momma wrote:
My SIL almost goes out of her way to ignore my kids. When DD was young, she would walk up to her and show her something and SIL wouldn't even respond. My BIL would have to jump in. He is such a fun guy and she is such a clod. I don't understand how this marriage works but it isn't my problem. I do know that any relationship that she could have had with them is off the table now.

Oh...there was a wedding slight as well. When their uncle got married, DD's were 14 and 8. They were hoping to be able to do something in the wedding - hand out programs, pass out the bubbles at the end, anything. She didn't ask them to help out at all. It was a big disappointment to them but we talked about it and the girls got over it. The day of the wedding comes and she had her 2 cousins in the wedding and her next door neighbors passing out programs. No biggie - but DD's felt a little bad about it. They were treated like virtual strangers at the wedding. Again, we never told anyone they felt bad for not being included somehow. We just discussed it at home as a family and they got over it quickly. No tantrums.

and you you were undoubtedly more careful about how you dealt with certain people going forward.

chef · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
I had a child free wedding except for my DH's twin nieces b/c they were the only grandkids. They were about 6. However, we did not have any flower girls or anything. It was an evening candlelight wedding. We got married in a bed and breakfast called "The Castle" and my SIL didn't say anything to me about them not being in the wedding, but when they showed up - all THREE of them showed up in matching formal rennaissance dresses to the wedding.

That's pretty nervy!

SIL showed up to my wedding in a formal gown. My MOH was pissed.

NAOW · Vette's SS

My friends sister came to her wedding wearing a floor length, lacy white dress. I thought that was pretty rude.

TrudyML · Guru

What are these stories! Frightening!

just Czech · Give Me Grand's!

Wow. Apparently there are a lot of rude family members out there.

Glad DH and I don't have a story like some here do.